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I’ve been trying to make more of an effort to bring lunches to work. Since there’s a food court where I work, I eat there probably 90% of the time. It’s both bad for my health and my wallet. I want to lose about 30 pounds in the long run (not being extreme about it though–I’m hoping to lose just a couple a month) and it’d be great to not spend $5+ a day on unhealthy food when I live below the poverty line.

I keep telling myself I want to Get Healthy and Frugal and today I suddenly went “I’m going to make myself lunches for the week. No food court allowed! And not unhealthy food!” and I went to the grocery store and bought stuff to make sandwiches, and healthier snacks (like pretzel crisps instead of potato chips), veggies, hummus. And then I spent an hour prepping lunches, making several sandwiches and portioning the snacks and veggies into baggies and putting them all in a bag.

And then I went to my parents’ house.

And then I came home, and saw the bag on the counter.

So, there’s that week meal prep, gone bad. I tried.
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discouroborose:

Here’s the thing about body-shaming: you can’t do it on an individual basis. You can never body-shame only one person. If you make fun of a physical feature of someone you hate, it’s going to affect everyone who shares that feature, regardless of whether they share the trait that made you want to mock them in the first place. 

If you make fun of a racist actress’s lips, you are implying that that feature is bad, and then anyone who shares that physical feature is going to be hit by that, regardless of whether they are racist themselves.

If you make fun of an evil politician’s body type, anyone who shares that body type will be hit by that. 

When you body-shame, you are tying personality traits or evil actions to physical traits. You are tying racism to fatness. You are tying misogyny to big noses. You’re taking morally neutral traits–physical ones–and attaching unnecessary moral weight to them. Attractiveness is not synonymous with goodness. Unattractiveness is not synonymous with evil. 

Suddenly being fat isn’t just a physical trait–it’s an indicator of moral worth. 

It doesn’t matter if someone “deserves” to be body-shamed or not. There is no way to mock their appearance without it also hurting innocent people who happen to share features with that person. 

When people say, for example, “stop fat-shaming Donald Trump” they’re not saying “you’re being so mean to Trump and he doesn’t deserve it.” They’re saying “you are inadvertently hurting people other than Trump, including some people who are already hurt by Trump himself.”
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indigobluerose:

oceaxereturns:

justgot1:

cricketcat9:

plaidadder:

shad0wspinner:

inkskinned:

how terrifying, to be aging and girl. at 18 i was told by men that i was “the perfect age,” and i still thought it was a compliment. is it because at 20 i figured out how sharp those words were. i felt old at 21, felt like if grey hairs came and my spine cracked i was done for. how scary. i am reminded constantly by “realistic” ideas in fantasy novels that i should have five kids.

my life feels short. like it is squeezed into my twenties. like at 30 i become ghost, just another mother or hard worker or both, just another background character. like if i am not settled and making a difference by 27 i should just give up already. is this something men feel? like a clock is painted on their back, one hand warning: your beauty is something you are valued for and it is something you cannot get back.

and why was i only beautiful, i wonder, at 18 on a riverbank. i’m told often my childish face is a blessing. that i shouldn’t want to look older. one told me i was a trap falling: “you look young but you’re not” he said to me, “it kind of led me on”. am i not young? 

maybe i am wrong. maybe it’s just how we all feel, getting old, like time is slipping from us. maybe men do worry that they will be alone forever if they don’t settle by thirty, maybe it’s even because they think they’ll turn ugly. maybe we all squish our lives into that incredibly young decade. what do i know. i’m still learning.

I’m almost 25 and I’ve been feeling this a lot lately.

As a 48 year old lesbian, I offer my perspective on aging, and you all can take it or leave it.

Our understanding of our own aging is very much conditioned by the priorities of straight men, who in the aggregate understand beauty and femininity, indeed women in general, in literally superficial terms. Most of the ads you see for anti-aging products, for instance, focus on its *visible* symptoms: graying hair, wrinkling skin or discolored skin, sagging breasts, changes in body shape, etc. These are the symptoms of female aging that men perceive, and they are the ones that the cosmetics and the larger anti-aging industry therefore target. (Men do have their own anxieties about visibly aging, mostly related to hair loss and body shape; but they are not, for instance, generally terrified by the appearance of wrinkles, unless they work in the entertainment industry.)

But aging is not just something that happens to everyone else’s perception of you; it is something that happens in your own body, at levels deeper than anyone else (especially anyone male) is ever likely to perceive. From my POV the really important thing about aging is how you feel. Your body is where you live; it is for you. Aging is inevitable, but it can to some extent be intentional, in that you can (to some extent; all this is limited by the amount of time and money available to you and the healthfulness of the environments you have lived in and how you did in the DNA lottery) choose to do things that will help preserve the things about your body that make YOU happy to be living there–things like flexibility, strength, and the smooth functioning of your major organs. Generally, if you’re healthy, you don’t think about any of this stuff at 18 or 25; but when you are 40, you will start to take more of an interest as you come to understand how important all of this is to your own ability to enjoy life.

So that sucks, as does menopause, which is the unacknowledged referent of a lot of cultural anxieties about female aging. But the point I want to make is: one of the worst things that the phenomenon described so evocatively by the OP does to girls and young women is to make them so anxious about their own bodies that they are unable to enjoy and appreciate their youth while they have it. And that is theft. It really is. I miss youth, but even more do I regret the fact that when I was young I was so fucked up by cultural obsessions about female beauty that I was unable to fully enjoy the body that I had then. I did not appreciate its many excellent qualities, and it was a long time before I allowed myself to accept and act on its desires. At a time when I was beautiful, I thought I was fat and ugly, and that because no man would ever find me attractive, I was doomed to loneliness and isolation. After I met Mrs. Plaidder, her conviction of my beauty eventually passed into me. As a result, I enjoyed my life in general a lot more in my 30s than I did in my teens. I’ve enjoyed my 40s more too, apart from the cancer and the current catastrophe. Age does actually bring experience and knowledge and, to those able to profit from it, wisdom. You do gain, even as you lose.

Catullus, yelling in Latin verse at his lover Lesbia, asks her venomously, “cui videberis bella?” By whom will you be seen to be beautiful? It’s a question that still poisons our sense of self and our understanding of our own possibilities. By myself, asshole, she should have replied; and so may we all, at any age. 

Long post, but - my three cents. At 67 I don’t feel old and/or ugly. In fact, I really enjoy myself. I’m happy with how I look - because I got over the brainwashed way we see ourselves. As plaidadder said: “even more do I regret the fact that when I was young I was so fucked up by cultural obsessions about female beauty that I was unable to fully enjoy the body that I had then.” BTW, plaidadder - you are STILL beautiful, trust me.  The American cult of youth and they way of evaluating women’s beauty as inevitably liked to age is fucking TOXIC. I now live in South America; was complemented ( in a non-creepy way) by two guys less than half my age last week, grey hair & all. Love it here. 

You will never feel as old as you do in your late 20s to late 30s. Seriously. Western culture makes the passing of youth into a tragic death and that’s – so fucking sad. Once it has passed and you can no longer reasonably think of yourself as young, no matter how desperately you try to hang on to it – you find yourself in a whole other country, you realize that you’ve lived on one side of a mountain all your life and told there’s nothing beyond it only to discover that there is, in fact, an entire world on the other side. Don’t believe the lie. 

I’m just going to reblog all these responses because they’re so solid and right on.

When grown men say that eighteen is the perfect age for a woman, they don’t really mean “prettiest” anyway.  They mean “still really vulnerable, but technically legal.”
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thesasscasticfanvergent:

drethelin:

legally-bitchtastic:

funniest-stuff:

Great lesson in empathy, you never know what someone is going through.

“And I put on weight. Big f–ing deal” is gonna be my new mantra

Wentworth Miller is really good

wow this is powerful
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sophrosynic:

like, i get the desire that people have to want things like scars & stretchmarks & imperfections to be beautified and aestheticized in the same way that features which conform do. i get the need to want to see yourself romanticized in that way, to want to switch the language and the way people visualize imperfections.

but like, sometimes i really don’t understand the point of doing all that. because these things just exist at the end of the day, & i just want them to exist without adding or negating my value as a human being. i don’t even want 80000 aesthetic pictures of my acne scars or armpit hair, i just want them to exist and for people to treat me like a human being, and not like some kind of eldritch horror OR as some kind of epic symbol against beauty standards. i just wanna exist and for these things to just be treated as what they are–a consequence of living a life and nothing else. 

and i think it’s deeply misguided sometimes to act as if the only way to counter negative shit from some of the narrow beauty standards that exist is to run in the total opposite direction, rather than learning to come to terms with the fact that yeah, some things aren’t pretty, but that doesn’t mean they’re ugly, that just means that they are and they exist and don’t have an inherent value, and more importantly, don’t have any sort of bearing on your own worth as a person either.
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hisblackdress:

Don’t let your summer be a total bummer, dood.
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uplifttogether:

cryoverkiltmilk:

the-witching-hours12-3:

askmarletfiredings:

willows-art-trashcan:

fwoosh-finnick-the-fan:

prospect-euphoria:

sandflake:

I dearly wish that people would view their bodies as they view flowers…

Veins everywhere?

gorgeous~

Skin patches? Birthmarks?

hella rad~

Scars? Stretch marks?

beautiful~

Freckles? Moles? Acne scars?

heckie yeah~

Large? Curvy?

lovely~

Small? Thin?

charming~

Missing a few pieces?

handsome as ever~

Feel like you just look weird?

you’re fantastic looking~

THIS is the best post ever. 

THIS.

@asknos4a2yourmaster

;-; I need this every day of my life I will never not reblog this it is beautiful and just what I need every day.

I needed this

Don’t insult anything about yourself you wouldn’t say about a flower

A little body positivity for y’all tonight.
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dulce-skull:

Things to normalize: body hair, fat rolls, stretch marks 
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dulce-skull:

Things to normalize: Body fat, stretch marks/surgery scars, gentleness 

Brother piece to this post
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Ugggh so the moisturizer I use makes me break out, but I have INSANELY dry skin that I need to moisturize. And I can’t afford to buy a different type until I get a new job, and even then I have things I have to pay off first. So my self esteem about my face isn’t so great. This really sucks. I’m really really tired of having bad acne. I mean I’ve always had acne, but it’s gotten a lot worse since starting the Depo shot and I’m trying to get it under control, but it would really help if I could use a moisturizer that didn’t make my skin do this.
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molotowcocktease:

Let’s be really clear about something: I’ve got a big ass belly (and it’s super fucking cute). I’m so goddamn tired of seeing comments about my small waist and how I look better than other fat chicks and that I’m “thick”. Nooooooo!! I’m faaaaaat and it’s greeeeat! And I’m no better or worse than any other person. All bodies are good. ALL BODIES!! DO NOT compare me or any other people to each other based on looks and DO NOT try to compliment me by putting other people down “Bbws are sexier than skinny chicks anyway” or “you prettier than ol girl on bla bla show” none of those are compliments. Compare me to a delicious cupcake or the undulating curves of the ocean if you like, but don’t put somebody else down to try and pay me a compliment. And open your eyes because there’s PLENTY of photos with my tummy in them to notice that I’m not “thick” or however you try to classify it. This has been a rant okthxbye
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Photo

Feb. 14th, 2017 07:05 am
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lavendersucculents:

thescene:

Akira Armstrong was in two Beyoncé videos, but couldn’t find an agent to represent her as a professional dancer because of her size. To change the narrative around what a dancer’s body should look like, Akira started her own dance company, made up of plus-size dancers. “Pretty Big Movement” is destroying dancer stereotypes, one routine at a time.

This is so needed
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thinfatfit:

some people have been messaging me about “health” so i’m gonna say this:

1. every single person deserves to have confidence and do/wear what they want without worrying about what they look like. your weight is literally the least important thing about you and there are a million more important things you should dedicate your energy towards.

2. ppl who are naturally thin they have this idea that being chubby/thick/fat is unhealthy because for THEM to get to this weight it would be unhealthy, like if you’ve been a size 4 your whole life w/o ever having to think about it, to get to a size 10/14/18 w.e. you would prob have to eat a lot of shit and give up exercise. HOWEVER, that is NOT TRUE FOR EVERYONE. i have literally been a size 10+ since grade 8 and from 2012-2015 i ran 5k every second day for three years and ate super healthy etc etc and I WAS STILL A SIZE 10 and weighed 170 pounds.

3. these messages that we’re unhealthy are so much more harmful than any possible “health issues”. hating yourself is NOT HEALTHY. story time i have literally been on a diet since grade 3, and w/o this messaging of me needing to lose weight i would be at a healthier weight right now and definitely wouldn’t have put my body through all this unhealthy shit. i started making myself throw up in grade 5, in grade 7 i starved myself to weigh 120 pounds (20 pound weight loss from previous year), in grade 8 i stopped starving and went up to 160, grade 9 went up to 195, university went down to 170, now i’m up to 210. if it hadn’t been for allllllll of this i-need-to-lose-weight-im-so-fat-no-actually-im-good-no-actually-i-need-to-lose-weight-this-is-pointless-i-hate-myself-no-point-in-dieting-OMGIMSOFATINEEDTODIETNOW-etc-etc-etc i’m sure i would be healthier right now.

also if i had dedicated all the energy i’ve dedicated to weight loss to something else instead i’m pretty sure i could’ve literally cured cancer by now soooo stop wasting our time with this stupidness ok we have better things to do!!!
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theadventureto-be:

longingforus:

#SignedByTrump

Only a few of the quotes that the President Elect, Donald Trump, has said about women.
After many many hours, my photography final is FINALLY finished. It has been deleted off Facebook and Instagram, so I’m hoping it can stay up on Tumblr.

oh, this is good
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teaforyourginaa:

refinery29:

Danielle Brooks, body positive queen, has an insightful story to share about what it’s like when you compare your body to other women’s

If you’ve ever given in to embarrassment in public locker rooms or let your self-esteem get knocked down a notch by looking enviously at people who seem to be in “perfect” shape, Danielle Brooks has an important message for you.

Gifs: daniebb3

WATCH THE VIDEO

I love her so much

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