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alyciajazmin:

Beautiful. But you’re late, Your Majesty.
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tall-guys:

Ring of stone. by AlanVia Flickr:
I wonder why that field enclosure ended up round…
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ezrat:

yeahdoza:

“Wake me up, before you Go-Gurt” is a phrase that my brain conjured up earlier, unprovoked. How’s that for an intrusive thought?

don’t leave me hanging on like a yogurt
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noridegroot:

*opens tumblr in public* whoopss titties
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Sep. 24th, 2017 09:38 pm
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mynoodlesdoodles:

I’m not a furry, but my character will have sex with anything that moves and is above 7/10. 
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Sep. 24th, 2017 02:03 pm
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Sep. 22nd, 2017 07:02 pm
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vintagedad:

galacticpasta:

hocksquawks:

*blows a kiss under the stage* for the pit orchestra

*blows a kiss behind the stage* for the run crew

*blows a kiss to the rafters* for the phantom
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Sep. 22nd, 2017 02:01 pm
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dealingwithaces:

probablybadrpgideas:

You play a larping group. Alas, you live in a standard superhero world. During a major super villain attack you’re mistaken for a superhero team, and now you have to figure out a way to stop the Legion of Doom and their robot army

Okay but holy crap that’d be an amazing LARP. Or movie.
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hawk-feathers:

This little bug has thoroughly stolen my heart.
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thetygre:

psychoticrambling:

my crystal ball says you really fucked up this time

Rolling 1 on a Divination check.
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30-birds:

She’s done! i think. for now.

Her name is Geothe! 
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paintedcowboy:

cinemotionpicture:

Getting into character// Makeup edition (pt 1)

@southern-borngirl
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marycp2011:

tastefullyoffensive:

Dixie has an Instagram. (via mhooper_2014)

ouch.
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delightedobserverintraining:

💖
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poorpersonsgiude:

smartass-stripper:

thatwitchaudrey:

smartass-stripper:

Okay I know one of you bitches has a TurboTax for Strippers Cheat Sheet. Reblog to save a life.

So:

Input how much money you made over the course of the year. This is your starting total.

You can instantly either deduct or just subtract all of your tipouts to staff as that’s money that never actually makes it out of the club with you.

You can deduct your stage/house fees.You should be keeping a record of what you made for the night/what you tipped out/what you paid in stage fees. This helps for taxes and it’s a good visual overview of how you’re doing at work and helps you see trends like if a certain night is really bad on average.

You can deduct shoes, costumes/lingerie, a practice pole if you have one and bought it in the last year, even stage makeup if you only use it for work (I don’t deduct all my makeup purchases but something like 50% of them). If you mostly buy stuff online you can do searches through your email for terms like “victoria’s secret” “yandy” or if you use amazon you can go through your amazon purchase history and find receipts of everything you bought. If you bought most things with cash - keeping your receipts is smart in case you ever get audited (unlikely but still possible).

You can deduct any advertising expenses (if you made business cards or paid for a premium service for promotion or something).

If you’re a travel dancer you can deduct things like travel expenses, but if you’re just commuting to your local club those travel expenses don’t count. 

If you had health insurance in 2016 - that will help you save money on your taxes. Otherwise they fine you. :(

If you’re going to school and had any scholarships or student loans, those qualify you for tax breaks.



At the end turbotax will ask you if you want “audit insurance” basically. It’s a small additional fee that basically says that a turbotax representative will represent you in case you get audited and handle the whole audit so you don’t have to do it yourself. I purchase this for my own peace of mind. (It’s probably overkill but better safe than sorry.)

As an independent contractor you’ll be paying quarterly estimated payments throughout the year. This makes it easier when you file next year so you don’t have to pay such a big chunk all at once. Your estimates might even be high and you might get a little back come next April! If you’re saving around 30% of what you earn, that’s a good starting estimate of what you’ll need for taxes.



I lived with a CPA for a few years and she taught me the basics of stripper taxes and I’ve done my own for the last few years. It’s not perfect and I am not a tax professional, but this is how I use turbotax to do mine and I’m happy to answer questions if anyone needs help. :)

THANK YOU SO MUCH! REBLOG TO SAVE A LIFE!!

For my girls out there. Much respect y'all.
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shanalogic:

lynati:

whenthesecondsun:

Why do you have all those cloud babies scattered around your staircase

Someone swept out from under the bed, I see.

CLOUD BABIES. ☁️🐱☁️
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onetwo-t:

Wine tasting in Tuscany
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Rachel

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