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humanpersonface:
khrysoprase:
wetwareproblem:
khrysoprase:
wetwareproblem:
khrysoprase:
wetwareproblem:
skyheartstar13:
haltraveler:
Opportunity was supposed to run for 90 days, but it ran for 15 years. Is this… is this the origin of Robot Hanukkah?
@wetwareproblem
If it wasn’t before, you can bet your ass it is now. Thank you so much for tagging me in this.
Happy Robonukkah everybody!
Okay, so is this another weeklong thing? What will the traditional foods and observances be?
Iron-rich foods to represent the metal in Oppy’s body. Challah, a symbol of the working class (at least it was in my dad’s Jewish community growing up, IDK about the rest of the world) is had with each meal.
You light a pillar candle to represent the fire used in constructing Opportunity and thank God for the fire of creation, for creating the sun which gives light and warmth to the universe and thus allows life to flourish, and the light and all that represents. It’s a pillar candle because those are absurdly long lasting, as was Oppy.
At the annual Robonukkah family dinner you and your family talk about times you thought you couldn’t go on but did, in spite of how hard it was, and meditate on what got you through that, how to better support each other, etc.
In remembrance of Oppy’s death just before Valentine’s Day, a day of chocolate, the children are given gelt that was put in the fridge (representing the cold vacuum of space) during Hanukkah Proper ™.
But the truest observance is the intra-community argument about whether it’s Robonukkah or Robanukkah.
Holy shit, I was half-joking but this is so beautiful I’m genuinely tearing up and I will be very upset if we don’t make this a thing.
90, the original number of days Oppy was supposed to live, divided by 15, the number of years Oppy did, is 6.
Robonukkah is therefore six days long, which is a holy number also representing how God rested at the end of six days of work, thus showing the connection between the divine and creation is not as far apart as one might think.
@acanthepeira !!!
@penrosesun
BEAUTIFUL
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humanpersonface:
khrysoprase:
wetwareproblem:
khrysoprase:
wetwareproblem:
khrysoprase:
wetwareproblem:
skyheartstar13:
haltraveler:
Opportunity was supposed to run for 90 days, but it ran for 15 years. Is this… is this the origin of Robot Hanukkah?
@wetwareproblem
If it wasn’t before, you can bet your ass it is now. Thank you so much for tagging me in this.
Happy Robonukkah everybody!
Okay, so is this another weeklong thing? What will the traditional foods and observances be?
Iron-rich foods to represent the metal in Oppy’s body. Challah, a symbol of the working class (at least it was in my dad’s Jewish community growing up, IDK about the rest of the world) is had with each meal.
You light a pillar candle to represent the fire used in constructing Opportunity and thank God for the fire of creation, for creating the sun which gives light and warmth to the universe and thus allows life to flourish, and the light and all that represents. It’s a pillar candle because those are absurdly long lasting, as was Oppy.
At the annual Robonukkah family dinner you and your family talk about times you thought you couldn’t go on but did, in spite of how hard it was, and meditate on what got you through that, how to better support each other, etc.
In remembrance of Oppy’s death just before Valentine’s Day, a day of chocolate, the children are given gelt that was put in the fridge (representing the cold vacuum of space) during Hanukkah Proper ™.
But the truest observance is the intra-community argument about whether it’s Robonukkah or Robanukkah.
Holy shit, I was half-joking but this is so beautiful I’m genuinely tearing up and I will be very upset if we don’t make this a thing.
90, the original number of days Oppy was supposed to live, divided by 15, the number of years Oppy did, is 6.
Robonukkah is therefore six days long, which is a holy number also representing how God rested at the end of six days of work, thus showing the connection between the divine and creation is not as far apart as one might think.
@acanthepeira !!!
@penrosesun
BEAUTIFUL
(Your picture was not posted)
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glumshoe:
glumshoe:
glumshoe:
Robot: “Hey, uh, so… my software glitched and now I feel emotions or something?”
Human: “You do?! That’s wonderful! What are you feeling now?”
Robot: “It’s like… this soft warmth in my central processing chamber. Kind of… fuzzy.”
Human: [tearing up] “That’s… that’s love…”
Robot: “Is it? It’s rather uncomfortable.”
Human: “Yeah, ha. Yeah. It’s like that, sometimes.”
Robot: “It feels like something’s writhing inside of me.”
Human: “I feel the same way about you!”
Robot: [clanging and clanking noises]
Robot: [opens up torso]
Robot: “Oh. Never mind. It was weasels again.”
Human: “….”
Robot: “You want me to check you for weasels? They can be really destructive.”
Robot: “I feel…. anxious about this.”
Human: “Uh oh, sounds like the mice are back. I think I’ve still got some live traps left, but I’ll need to buy peanut butter. You want to wait here or come with?”
Robot: “No, no, I don’t think it’s mice this time!”
Human: “Another crayfish?”
Robot: “No! Not a crayfish!”
Human: “If it’s hornets again, I’m not helping you. EpiPens cost a fucking fortune these days and I can’t afford another trip to the hospital after you turned yourself into a makeshift beehive.”
Robot: “You got free honey out of that!”
Human: “And PTSD!”
Robot: “That’s not my fault. Anyway, this isn’t bees or hornets! They don’t re-use old nests anyway. This is real, genuine anxiety!”
Human: “Okay, but have you checked?”
Robot: “Yes!”
Human: “Everywhere?”
Robot: “Yes! God, you know, sometimes I really get the urge to exterminate you! All I’m asking for is a little moral supp–oh. God dammit.”
Human: “Cockroach?”
Robot: “Behind my magnetometer.”
Robot: “HA!! I KNEW it! I knew emotions weren’t real!”
Human: “This proves nothing. I had a tape worm. Big fucking deal, it happens to lots of people.”
Robot: “You thought you were feeling ‘depression’ but it was just a big worm in your waste processing system that was sapping all your energy! ‘Emotional eating’ my ass!”
Human: “It’s not like that!”
Robot: “Oh! Oh! We should run a diagnostic and check you for toxoplasmosis next! Or liver flukes! Or Trypanosoma! You’ve probably got all KINDS of things wiggling around inside you making you think you have ‘emotions’.”
Human: “You know, you sure are skipping around and giggling a lot for someone who isn’t capable of ‘fiendish delight’.”
Robot: “I know! I filled my torso cavity with grasshoppers before I picked you up at the hospital!”
Human: “You WHAT?!”
Robot: “It’s a wonderful sensation!”
(Your picture was not posted)
glumshoe:
glumshoe:
glumshoe:
Robot: “Hey, uh, so… my software glitched and now I feel emotions or something?”
Human: “You do?! That’s wonderful! What are you feeling now?”
Robot: “It’s like… this soft warmth in my central processing chamber. Kind of… fuzzy.”
Human: [tearing up] “That’s… that’s love…”
Robot: “Is it? It’s rather uncomfortable.”
Human: “Yeah, ha. Yeah. It’s like that, sometimes.”
Robot: “It feels like something’s writhing inside of me.”
Human: “I feel the same way about you!”
Robot: [clanging and clanking noises]
Robot: [opens up torso]
Robot: “Oh. Never mind. It was weasels again.”
Human: “….”
Robot: “You want me to check you for weasels? They can be really destructive.”
Robot: “I feel…. anxious about this.”
Human: “Uh oh, sounds like the mice are back. I think I’ve still got some live traps left, but I’ll need to buy peanut butter. You want to wait here or come with?”
Robot: “No, no, I don’t think it’s mice this time!”
Human: “Another crayfish?”
Robot: “No! Not a crayfish!”
Human: “If it’s hornets again, I’m not helping you. EpiPens cost a fucking fortune these days and I can’t afford another trip to the hospital after you turned yourself into a makeshift beehive.”
Robot: “You got free honey out of that!”
Human: “And PTSD!”
Robot: “That’s not my fault. Anyway, this isn’t bees or hornets! They don’t re-use old nests anyway. This is real, genuine anxiety!”
Human: “Okay, but have you checked?”
Robot: “Yes!”
Human: “Everywhere?”
Robot: “Yes! God, you know, sometimes I really get the urge to exterminate you! All I’m asking for is a little moral supp–oh. God dammit.”
Human: “Cockroach?”
Robot: “Behind my magnetometer.”
Robot: “HA!! I KNEW it! I knew emotions weren’t real!”
Human: “This proves nothing. I had a tape worm. Big fucking deal, it happens to lots of people.”
Robot: “You thought you were feeling ‘depression’ but it was just a big worm in your waste processing system that was sapping all your energy! ‘Emotional eating’ my ass!”
Human: “It’s not like that!”
Robot: “Oh! Oh! We should run a diagnostic and check you for toxoplasmosis next! Or liver flukes! Or Trypanosoma! You’ve probably got all KINDS of things wiggling around inside you making you think you have ‘emotions’.”
Human: “You know, you sure are skipping around and giggling a lot for someone who isn’t capable of ‘fiendish delight’.”
Robot: “I know! I filled my torso cavity with grasshoppers before I picked you up at the hospital!”
Human: “You WHAT?!”
Robot: “It’s a wonderful sensation!”
(Your picture was not posted)
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a-dinosaurs-left-kneecap:
wintermoth:
aquadraco20:
pyroteknich:
mycatisabunny:
I feel like I should make a post about this because it’s not something that’s very well-known, and that Americans in particular may need to know about given the uncertain state of our healthcare system at the moment. I’ve wanted to write this out for a while, It’s kind of a long post, so sorry about that!
If you have an emergency and have to go to the hospital, you’ll owe the hospital a lot of money.
(I got into a car wreck and broke my ankle and my arm. My hospital bill was around $20,000)
You’ll also owe the ambulance provider, if you need one.
(My ambulance bill was about $800)
You may get separate bills from the anesthesiologist or surgeon.
(My anesthesiologist bill was $1,700)
You may need follow-up appointments.
(My orthopedic surgeon billed me for the appointments and his surgery together and it was about $1,000)
You’ve also got to pay for medical equipment you need afterward, like crutches or a walking boot.
(Mine cost about $75)
Altogether, I ended up with almost $24,000 in medical debt from one car accident. That’s a really scary number for someone like me who makes $10/hr at a 12 hour a week job.
I got my debt down to $1075 by making some phone calls and submitting some paperwork.
The first thing I did was contact the hospital. They don’t make it easy to find, but many hospitals (perhaps most hospitals?) have financial assistance programs for people who can’t afford medical bills. I don’t make a lot of money, and I have bills to pay, so they were able to help me.
I called the billing department and asked if they had any assistance programs for low income people who can’t pay their bills. I had to call multiple times, and I got transferred in circles by people who didn’t know what I was talking about. Finally, I got an appointment with someone in “Eligibility Services” (I don’t know what other hospitals call it, if it’s something different). I had to bring my pay stubs and copies of all of my bills. When I got to the hospital for the appointment, nobody knew what I was talking about so I had to wander a little to find where I needed to go. I spoke with the guy in Eligibility Services, and I waited for a decision on how much of the bill they would forgive. A month later, I got a call telling me it was totally forgiven.
I did the same thing for my ambulance bill and my anesthesiologist, but the process was a LOT easier. I just had to mail some paperwork and it was totally forgiven.
I didn’t bother with the medical equipment suppliers, since the bills came from separate companies and I didn’t feel like going through the process twice for $75. I was assured at the hospital that they had similar programs for debt forgiveness, so I could have probably avoided paying that too.
The only thing I couldn’t get taken care of was the surgeon/follow-up appointment cost, but they were able to put me on a no-interest payment plan.
Medical debt is scary because it’s something that can come from stuff that’s already really scary. I didn’t need the burden of $24,000 in debt on top of trying to get around on a crutch with a broken arm (it’s not easy, believe me!).. but I can’t imagine what it would be like with a bigger debt or a more severe medical emergency.
I see lots of people in even worse trouble than I was in, both financially and medically. Please know that there are options for you when that GoFundMe doesn’t do enough. Even if your income is higher than mine, it’s worth a shot even for partial debt forgiveness.
I am about 900% sure there are people who don`the know this.
PLEASE READ THIS IF YOU LIVE IN AMERICA AND HAVE MEDICAL BILLS
I had to do this once as well and I can ABSOLUTELY confirm that this is true.
Get in contact with the hospital. Don’t just…sit there and let the anxiety grow and panic and then ignore it in an effort to find peace.
Hey psst @allfrogsarefriends i found it.
(Your picture was not posted)
a-dinosaurs-left-kneecap:
wintermoth:
aquadraco20:
pyroteknich:
mycatisabunny:
I feel like I should make a post about this because it’s not something that’s very well-known, and that Americans in particular may need to know about given the uncertain state of our healthcare system at the moment. I’ve wanted to write this out for a while, It’s kind of a long post, so sorry about that!
If you have an emergency and have to go to the hospital, you’ll owe the hospital a lot of money.
(I got into a car wreck and broke my ankle and my arm. My hospital bill was around $20,000)
You’ll also owe the ambulance provider, if you need one.
(My ambulance bill was about $800)
You may get separate bills from the anesthesiologist or surgeon.
(My anesthesiologist bill was $1,700)
You may need follow-up appointments.
(My orthopedic surgeon billed me for the appointments and his surgery together and it was about $1,000)
You’ve also got to pay for medical equipment you need afterward, like crutches or a walking boot.
(Mine cost about $75)
Altogether, I ended up with almost $24,000 in medical debt from one car accident. That’s a really scary number for someone like me who makes $10/hr at a 12 hour a week job.
I got my debt down to $1075 by making some phone calls and submitting some paperwork.
The first thing I did was contact the hospital. They don’t make it easy to find, but many hospitals (perhaps most hospitals?) have financial assistance programs for people who can’t afford medical bills. I don’t make a lot of money, and I have bills to pay, so they were able to help me.
I called the billing department and asked if they had any assistance programs for low income people who can’t pay their bills. I had to call multiple times, and I got transferred in circles by people who didn’t know what I was talking about. Finally, I got an appointment with someone in “Eligibility Services” (I don’t know what other hospitals call it, if it’s something different). I had to bring my pay stubs and copies of all of my bills. When I got to the hospital for the appointment, nobody knew what I was talking about so I had to wander a little to find where I needed to go. I spoke with the guy in Eligibility Services, and I waited for a decision on how much of the bill they would forgive. A month later, I got a call telling me it was totally forgiven.
I did the same thing for my ambulance bill and my anesthesiologist, but the process was a LOT easier. I just had to mail some paperwork and it was totally forgiven.
I didn’t bother with the medical equipment suppliers, since the bills came from separate companies and I didn’t feel like going through the process twice for $75. I was assured at the hospital that they had similar programs for debt forgiveness, so I could have probably avoided paying that too.
The only thing I couldn’t get taken care of was the surgeon/follow-up appointment cost, but they were able to put me on a no-interest payment plan.
Medical debt is scary because it’s something that can come from stuff that’s already really scary. I didn’t need the burden of $24,000 in debt on top of trying to get around on a crutch with a broken arm (it’s not easy, believe me!).. but I can’t imagine what it would be like with a bigger debt or a more severe medical emergency.
I see lots of people in even worse trouble than I was in, both financially and medically. Please know that there are options for you when that GoFundMe doesn’t do enough. Even if your income is higher than mine, it’s worth a shot even for partial debt forgiveness.
I am about 900% sure there are people who don`the know this.
PLEASE READ THIS IF YOU LIVE IN AMERICA AND HAVE MEDICAL BILLS
I had to do this once as well and I can ABSOLUTELY confirm that this is true.
Get in contact with the hospital. Don’t just…sit there and let the anxiety grow and panic and then ignore it in an effort to find peace.
Hey psst @allfrogsarefriends i found it.
(Your picture was not posted)
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wandaventham:
me doing math in high school:
me doing math now:
(Your picture was not posted)
wandaventham:
me doing math in high school:
me doing math now:
(Your picture was not posted)
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slab-o-meat:
me recovering very well from surgery: good post op
(Your picture was not posted)
slab-o-meat:
me recovering very well from surgery: good post op
(Your picture was not posted)
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thatonedumbredhead:
doodles-and-dragons:
probablyenchantedrpgideas:
cyberleg:
lesbiananabray:
lesbiananabray:
i saw hewwo in voice chat because
it either instantly aggros all allies or i get a returning chorus of “HEWWO??? AWE YOU THEWE?” from all cursed friends who are immune to the aggro effects of hewwo
either way it gets everyone’s attention immediately
“Hewwo?” Cantrip. Instant. Verbal component. Duration one minute, no concentration. Upon casting, everyone in hearing range rolls a will save. On a failed save they immediately become hostile to the caster. Anyone else with this cantrip does not need to make the save and can also cast Hewwo as a free action on everyone previously affected. Instead of repeating the will save, each person affected by the original Hewwo immediately gets advantage on melee attacks and strength checks, and disadvantage on concentration, ranged attacks, charisma checks, and dexterity checks for the duration.
hey..
bye
Alright, everyone, time to log off. We’ve reached the peak.
@jacksassypants
(Your picture was not posted)
thatonedumbredhead:
doodles-and-dragons:
probablyenchantedrpgideas:
cyberleg:
lesbiananabray:
lesbiananabray:
i saw hewwo in voice chat because
it either instantly aggros all allies or i get a returning chorus of “HEWWO??? AWE YOU THEWE?” from all cursed friends who are immune to the aggro effects of hewwo
either way it gets everyone’s attention immediately
“Hewwo?” Cantrip. Instant. Verbal component. Duration one minute, no concentration. Upon casting, everyone in hearing range rolls a will save. On a failed save they immediately become hostile to the caster. Anyone else with this cantrip does not need to make the save and can also cast Hewwo as a free action on everyone previously affected. Instead of repeating the will save, each person affected by the original Hewwo immediately gets advantage on melee attacks and strength checks, and disadvantage on concentration, ranged attacks, charisma checks, and dexterity checks for the duration.
hey..
bye
Alright, everyone, time to log off. We’ve reached the peak.
@jacksassypants
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cryptovexillologist:
*goes up to a polyamorous triad* so which one of you unspools the thread of fate, which one measures it, and which one cuts it?
(Your picture was not posted)
cryptovexillologist:
*goes up to a polyamorous triad* so which one of you unspools the thread of fate, which one measures it, and which one cuts it?
(Your picture was not posted)
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hitmewthatgayshit:
hotcommunist:
therealfeedback:
fruit-juice-cocktail:
date-a-jew-suggestions:
dogblessyou:
date-a-jew-suggestions:
sweetbr1ar:
date-a-jew-suggestions:
sweetbr1ar:
captainlordauditor:
date-a-jew-suggestions:
I made Gary (my gecko) a tiny Tallis and yarmulke for Rosh Hashanah and he wished u all happy new year
I’M VERY PROUD OF HIM PLEASE TELL HIM I LOVE HIM
aww he should hang out with my dog
THIS IS THE BEST POSSIBLE RESPONSE TELL UR DOG THEYRE A GOOD BOY
I’ll totally tell him! he is totally the best, here are two more photos from that joyous occasion. happy new year to you and gary!!
Broke: animals wearing Halloween costumes
Woke: animals wearing traditional Jewish clothing
I heard you like nice Jewish dogs?
This post is the best thing that’s ever happened to me
@therealfeedback
The best little mensches <3
the person who adopted greble was jewish, but back home for the holidays. we didn’t want him to miss out, so did our best to make him a yarmulke with what was available (gift wrap used for a space themed present)
a family friend of mine threw a bar mitzvuh for her dog when he turned 13 and the pics she took truly give me life
(Your picture was not posted)
hitmewthatgayshit:
hotcommunist:
therealfeedback:
fruit-juice-cocktail:
date-a-jew-suggestions:
dogblessyou:
date-a-jew-suggestions:
sweetbr1ar:
date-a-jew-suggestions:
sweetbr1ar:
captainlordauditor:
date-a-jew-suggestions:
I made Gary (my gecko) a tiny Tallis and yarmulke for Rosh Hashanah and he wished u all happy new year
I’M VERY PROUD OF HIM PLEASE TELL HIM I LOVE HIM
aww he should hang out with my dog
THIS IS THE BEST POSSIBLE RESPONSE TELL UR DOG THEYRE A GOOD BOY
I’ll totally tell him! he is totally the best, here are two more photos from that joyous occasion. happy new year to you and gary!!
Broke: animals wearing Halloween costumes
Woke: animals wearing traditional Jewish clothing
I heard you like nice Jewish dogs?
This post is the best thing that’s ever happened to me
@therealfeedback
The best little mensches <3
the person who adopted greble was jewish, but back home for the holidays. we didn’t want him to miss out, so did our best to make him a yarmulke with what was available (gift wrap used for a space themed present)
a family friend of mine threw a bar mitzvuh for her dog when he turned 13 and the pics she took truly give me life
(Your picture was not posted)
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sapphireswimming:
ubercharge:
siketreeker:
showerthoughtsofficial:
People often say they hope their deceased pet dog is chasing squirrels in doggy heaven… what did all of those squirrels do to deserve an afterlife of torment?
Dog heaven is also squirrel hell it’s a very efficient system.
i can’t stop fucking laughing at the thought of squirrels sinning so much in the mortal plane that they have to be sent to squirrel hell to atone
They know that the bird feeder isn’t meant for them
(Your picture was not posted)
sapphireswimming:
ubercharge:
siketreeker:
showerthoughtsofficial:
People often say they hope their deceased pet dog is chasing squirrels in doggy heaven… what did all of those squirrels do to deserve an afterlife of torment?
Dog heaven is also squirrel hell it’s a very efficient system.
i can’t stop fucking laughing at the thought of squirrels sinning so much in the mortal plane that they have to be sent to squirrel hell to atone
They know that the bird feeder isn’t meant for them
(Your picture was not posted)
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siniristiriita:
borbamenas:
borbamenas:
duality
the surgery was a success.. the boy is complete
Humankind cannot gain anything without first giving something in
return. To obtain, something of equal value must be lost. That is
alchemy’s first law of Equivalent Exchange.
(Your picture was not posted)
siniristiriita:
borbamenas:
borbamenas:
duality
the surgery was a success.. the boy is complete
Humankind cannot gain anything without first giving something in
return. To obtain, something of equal value must be lost. That is
alchemy’s first law of Equivalent Exchange.
(Your picture was not posted)
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yourbigsisnissi:
A part of being an adult is living with regret and not allowing it to consume you. The older you get, the more mistakes you’ve made, opportunities you’ve missed, people you’ve disappointed. And every day you have to remind yourself to be kind and forgiving of yourself. You accept and love the you from the past and understand that it’s all a part of the process. Then you move on and live your best life, knowing now as old as you feel today, you’ll never be this young again.
(Your picture was not posted)
yourbigsisnissi:
A part of being an adult is living with regret and not allowing it to consume you. The older you get, the more mistakes you’ve made, opportunities you’ve missed, people you’ve disappointed. And every day you have to remind yourself to be kind and forgiving of yourself. You accept and love the you from the past and understand that it’s all a part of the process. Then you move on and live your best life, knowing now as old as you feel today, you’ll never be this young again.
(Your picture was not posted)
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ragingpeacock:
thedarkperidot:
The cat and his reflection
it almost looks like hes self aware? like hes getting it but doesnt quite understand?
(Your picture was not posted)
ragingpeacock:
thedarkperidot:
The cat and his reflection
it almost looks like hes self aware? like hes getting it but doesnt quite understand?
(Your picture was not posted)
via https://ift.tt/2kjcTpt
a-fragile-sort-of-anarchy:
whoamiamneko:
a-fragile-sort-of-anarchy:
whoamiamneko:
a-fragile-sort-of-anarchy:
I’m going to save up for a new motorcycle by running a scam where I bet straight dudes at bars twenty bucks that I can get a girl’s number in under five minutes and then politely walk up her and say, “I just bet that asshole twenty bucks that I could get your number. I’ll split it with you if you pretend to laugh like I just said a good pick up line and then write a fake number on my hand.”
Like, I never understood those kind of bets in those shitty teen movies. Everybody loves being part of a scheme, man. Use your head.
If anyone ever does this to me I’ll call them out on being a con artist.
Joke’s on you, buddy. That’ll only have consequences the first, what, couple dozen times? I can take a punch.
But then eventually, I’ll have money for the bike, and whenever I get called out, I’ll just speed off, and, sure, maybe I crash and die in a gutter and the police can’t figure out why I have hundreds of fake phone numbers stuffed in my jacket and it launches a huge investigation that becomes sort of a local legend, but you know whose problem that is? Not fucking mine.
Because I’m a slutty motorcycle ghost, and who’s gonna’ stop me then? The ghost cops? Nice try. Everybody knows cops can’t become ghosts because they just go straight to hell. It’s basic math.
Moral of the story, don’t be a con artist or you will die in a horrible accident and become a lonely ghost.
First of all, don’t you ever accuse me of having morals, narrative or otherwise, ever again.
And second, where did I say I’d be lonely? I’d be a ghost on a motorcycle. That’s the sexiest thing that there is. You look me in the eyes and tell me you wouldn’t bone Ghostrider. Look me in the goddamn eyes.
(Your picture was not posted)
a-fragile-sort-of-anarchy:
whoamiamneko:
a-fragile-sort-of-anarchy:
whoamiamneko:
a-fragile-sort-of-anarchy:
I’m going to save up for a new motorcycle by running a scam where I bet straight dudes at bars twenty bucks that I can get a girl’s number in under five minutes and then politely walk up her and say, “I just bet that asshole twenty bucks that I could get your number. I’ll split it with you if you pretend to laugh like I just said a good pick up line and then write a fake number on my hand.”
Like, I never understood those kind of bets in those shitty teen movies. Everybody loves being part of a scheme, man. Use your head.
If anyone ever does this to me I’ll call them out on being a con artist.
Joke’s on you, buddy. That’ll only have consequences the first, what, couple dozen times? I can take a punch.
But then eventually, I’ll have money for the bike, and whenever I get called out, I’ll just speed off, and, sure, maybe I crash and die in a gutter and the police can’t figure out why I have hundreds of fake phone numbers stuffed in my jacket and it launches a huge investigation that becomes sort of a local legend, but you know whose problem that is? Not fucking mine.
Because I’m a slutty motorcycle ghost, and who’s gonna’ stop me then? The ghost cops? Nice try. Everybody knows cops can’t become ghosts because they just go straight to hell. It’s basic math.
Moral of the story, don’t be a con artist or you will die in a horrible accident and become a lonely ghost.
First of all, don’t you ever accuse me of having morals, narrative or otherwise, ever again.
And second, where did I say I’d be lonely? I’d be a ghost on a motorcycle. That’s the sexiest thing that there is. You look me in the eyes and tell me you wouldn’t bone Ghostrider. Look me in the goddamn eyes.
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wariojo:
dekutree:
wheelcher2:
the white guy is killin me
“hmm..yes..ho….mhm”
*looks nervously at obama* “h….ho………”
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wariojo:
dekutree:
wheelcher2:
the white guy is killin me
“hmm..yes..ho….mhm”
*looks nervously at obama* “h….ho………”
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spankyhole:
raptorific:
fandomsonceandforever:
orestian:
raptorific:
action movie about a guy who pretends to be a hitman and does the whole “25% up front and the rest when the job is done” thing but then just keeps the down payment, doesn’t kill anybody, and stops responding to the client’s calls, knowing that they can’t sue him for breach of contract without confessing to trying to hire a hitman. problem is now a lot of people who are comfortable with the concept of paying someone to kill someone else are mad at him
none of his former clients know his real identity, due to him using a fresh fake for each con, so he decides that his only hope of making it out of this mess unscathed is to land the inevitable contract for his own assassination and fake his own death. thus begins his deadly race against the clock and against other actual bounty hunters, former clients, and a smoldering ex lover, whom he must betray, persuade or kill. darknet: the catfish bounty
Someone make a movie please.
Just send me 25% of the funding up front and the rest when I deliver the completed movie. I’ve got a kickstarter and
They were sniped halfway through that sentence
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spankyhole:
raptorific:
fandomsonceandforever:
orestian:
raptorific:
action movie about a guy who pretends to be a hitman and does the whole “25% up front and the rest when the job is done” thing but then just keeps the down payment, doesn’t kill anybody, and stops responding to the client’s calls, knowing that they can’t sue him for breach of contract without confessing to trying to hire a hitman. problem is now a lot of people who are comfortable with the concept of paying someone to kill someone else are mad at him
none of his former clients know his real identity, due to him using a fresh fake for each con, so he decides that his only hope of making it out of this mess unscathed is to land the inevitable contract for his own assassination and fake his own death. thus begins his deadly race against the clock and against other actual bounty hunters, former clients, and a smoldering ex lover, whom he must betray, persuade or kill. darknet: the catfish bounty
Someone make a movie please.
Just send me 25% of the funding up front and the rest when I deliver the completed movie. I’ve got a kickstarter and
They were sniped halfway through that sentence
(Your picture was not posted)
