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a-potter-head:

twinkie13:

ladyloveandjustice:

one of the v. important things the movies missed about ron is just like, how down to fight he was at all times. like not even duel just he was always ready to physically beat the shit out of people who insulted his family or friends and WOULD if no one stopped him.

there are so many points in the books where its just casually dropped in ‘and so Harry and/or Hermione had to physically restrain Ron’ usually from Malfoy but if Harry or Hermione weren’t paying attention it became ‘and so Ron punched Malfoy in the face’. 

Like, Ron cursing Malfoy for calling Hermione Mudblood wasnt just a one off thing like every time he did that in the future when Ron was there it was like ‘ron had to be stopped from ending Malfoy’s life’ just thrown in there. Same for any other severe insults.

My absolute favorite instance of this is in the first book when they’re just watching a Quidditch game and Malfoy just starts bothering Ron and Hermione during it and is finally like ‘man its pretty funny how the Gryffindor quidditch team is recruited based on pity like y’know Potter has no parents, Weasley’s brothers have no money they should include Longbottom for having no brains” and Ron just flings himself at Malfoy and starts punching him and rolling around under the bleachers and Neville is like “uh shit i guess i better fight CRABBE AND GOYLE BOTH AT ONCE so they don’t go after him” (very underrated moment of courage from Neville he knew he had no chance but he just went for it honestly almost more impressive than confronting Voldemort in book 7)

and they’re just fighting for like twenty minutes and Hermione doesn’t even notice because she was so focused on tuning Malfoy out and watching the game and when its over she looks around like “where’d ron go” and then later its mentioned “Harry sees Ron and his face is covered in blood and he’s like “GOOD JOB WINNING THE GAME HARRY I GAVE MALFOY A BLACK EYE SO WE BOTH DID GREAT THINGS TONIGHT oh btw i have detention for a week and neville’s unconcious but they say he’ll be fine”.

Ron is ride or die and will fight u for $0 y’all 

harry: and what if I wave my wand and nothing happens?
ron: throw it away and punch him on the nose

Draco in COS: Pity Granger didn’t die.

Ron: I don’t need my wand. I’m going to kill him with my bare hands.
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just-shower-thoughts:

Quidditch would be way more interesting to watch and would require more strategy to play if catching the Snitch ended the game but didn’t award any points.
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the-blog-where-it-happened:

surlydruid:

wellingtonofthejungle:

helloeriiiiic:

sodomymcscurvylegs:

NOTHING is funnier to me than the fact that Dumbledore literally designed the PERFECT protection for the Philosopher’s Stone but still let the McGonagall enchant a giant chess set and Snape make a Legend of Zelda puzzle purely for the DRAMA of it all. And y'all say Dumbledore wasn’t ever visibly gay.

Dumbledore when Snape and McGonagall came to him with their suggestions, knowing FULL WELL how unnecessary they were:

Flitwick, approaching nervously: Dumbledore, I heard that Snape and McGonagall are helping, and I’d like to design a –Dumbledore: – a room filled with enchanted keys.Flitwick: – a room filled with enchanted keys!Dumbledore:

Sprout: how about a room full of devils snare?

Dumbledore:

Hagrid: I also happen to have this three headed dog that I-well it’s not important where it came from, but he could help guard the stone too maybe?

Dumbledore:

I am heartbroken that I was denied the grand oprah finale due to tumblrs community guidelines
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greymantledlady:

holmesianscholar:

jukeboxemcsa:

optimysticals:

timemachineyeah:

saywhatjessie:

tattooedsiren:

gvorgeblagden:

batcii:

how did jk manage to write ootp and not come to the conclusion that the only career w any true meaning for harry james potter was as a goddamn professor at hogwarts like how do u write the da scenes and say “nah he’d want to be a wizard cop”

#just let him dress in warm sweaters and have tea with neville in the staff room and help first years #harry james potter as hogwarts longest serving defense against the dark arts teacher fucking fight me (@batcii)

#but it would be so perfect??? #bc it would help normalize his life so much #like there would just be this generation of kids who are like #‘ugh who cares that he killed the dark lord he gAVE US HOMEWORK OVER BREAK’ #like the beginning of every year there would be the new first years who would freak out a little #but then it would calm down #and most of the students would literally forget #until like clockwork the fifth years would have their history of magic class on the second war #and they’d all show up to DADA looking a little awestruck and everyone would be extra quiet #and harry would give this kind of annoyed sigh—except it’s fake bc he TOTALLY knew this was coming #bc binns is a bro and he totally gives him a heads up every year #and harry wouldn’t have any lesson plans for the day and instead he would just sit at the front of the room and answer everyone’s questions #but otherwise everyone would just be like ‘professor potter!! i can’t get my patronus to work! help me!’ #and like they’d go home at the end of the year or for break and their parents—who ARE still starstruck by harry james potter #would pester their kids with questions#and the kids would just be like ‘merlin i don’t know?? potter’s such a huge dork you should hear him talk about proper wand movements’ #but they would all love him #and he would feel safe and normal and utterly accepted #AND I NEED THIS IN MY LIFE (via @cinematicnomad)

Not to mention it would be an ultimate Fuck You to Voldemort, who put a curse on the teaching position in the first place.

Like, Jo, I don’t want to tell you how to do your job, but COME ON

I already queued this but also, you do this, but still have Ginny become a famous Quidditch player. Imagine the first time Harry gets called “Ginny’s husband” before “the boy who lived” or “the chosen one.” Imagine how fucking pleased he’d be.

Imagine the first time a student comes up to him looking starry-eyed and Harry’s thinking “Oh no” because he doesn’t want to talk about Voldemort or the war but instead this little eleven year old is like “ARE YOU REALLY MARRIED TO WEASLEY FROM THE HOLLYHEAD HARPIES???!?? WHAT’S SHE LIKE?” and he’s like “oh thank god” because he could talk about Ginny all day. 

Yes. Good.

Actually, all three of them should have become professors. Hermione would have become Headmistress, of course–youngest Headmistress of Hogwarts ever, and the only one willing to turn the portraits of her predecessors to the wall if they gave her too much lip about her efforts to modernize the curriculum. (She probably started as Transfiguration professor after McGonagall became Headmistress, but it wouldn’t surprise me if McGonagall was grooming her for the Headmistress job all along.)

And Ron took over as flying instructor for Professor Hooch; everyone thinks he’s an easy A because he’s so mellow and silly and hands out candy for good performances and his brother and sister sometimes visit the class to show off some of their old Quidditch moves and give away Wizard Wheezes to the best fliers, and it’s not until they talk to someone else from a different school or era that they realize that flying is actually really difficult to learn and Ron just found ways to slip all the teaching in under the fun so that they didn’t even notice. Things that seemed like silly tricks or goofy jokes turned out to be mnemonics for complex maneuvers, and of course nobody ever wanted to skip a class under his tutelage.

thisTHIS

Okay all other canon epilogues can go home, this is the best.
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lytefoot:

dinosaurrainbowstarfish:

bethboxin:

Ron just got his howler from his mom yelling at him for stealing the car. He seems super embarrassed and most of the Great Hall is laughing. But here’s the thing:

Ron is 12 years old.

Ron stole a car.

Ron fucking stole a fucking car at the age of TWELVE.

I would not be laughing at him. Ronald Weasley is a fucking bad ass. When was the last time you jacked a car Malfoy? That’s what I thought. Bitch.

Harry woke up at 3 am, wrote this, and went back to sleep.

New best reply.
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kvothbloodless:

bumblebeebats:

It baffles and infuriates me that Hogwarts students don’t take Latin or Greek. Accio? Literally “I summon.” Lumos? Fucking “light.” Expelliarmus? Expel weapon!! Ooooh I wonder what Levicorpus does– you Dumb Ass Bastard. You ILLITERATE. It’s called Levicorpus, it lifts someone’s body, it LEVIES your goddamn CORPUS-

Hermione ghost wrote this
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theparadoxspace:

Harry Potter v. 1.07 patch notes:

Representation previously only mentioned in social media is now made explicit

Ron’s dialogue is now uncensored

Fixed bizarre bug that changed Arthur Rubeus Potter’s name to Albus Severus

Fixed bug which made Harry’s job say “Auror” instead of “Hogwarts’ DADA Teacher”

Harry no longer returns to the Dursley’s after rescuing Sirius and instead goes with him

Severus Snape is no longer praised nor regarded in a nice manner in any instance

Professor McGonagall’s Immortality is now implemented

“The Cursed Child” is now completely removed from canon, as it was previously added by mistake.
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herhmione:

my favorite moment in the sorcerer’s stone is when hagrid comes to get harry for hogwarts and he’s like “you mean to tell me this boy know nothing about anything?!” and harry, bless his heart, is lowkey offended and is like “i mean i know math” like what a pure boy…….. what a shining soul……
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severus-snape-is-a-butt-trumpet:

harry potter and the order of the phoenix, a summary

harry:
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bigmammallama5:

risenreading:

accio-shitpost:

harry potter, surprising literally everyone, retires from being an auror to make ceramics in a cottage in the hills. “i don’t know,” the boy who lived said in a statement. “becoming a potter just seemed right, you know?”

I’ve been on this site for how long and I am in shock it took this long for a potter joke

i draw and make pottery but ive never drawn somebody doing pottery so this was fun and i fully support this even if its just a joke lol
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