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triforceofdoom:

confusedbyinterface:

triforceofdoom:

scatterbrainedhypatia:

omigawdmatt:

cocochampange:

goddesu:

RPG’s be like

I’m offended

I CANT EAT BECAUSE IM LAUGHING TOO HARD

@mastersamson88

Is this the same show with the guy who licks his own poisoned blade & just immediately dies?

Yeah. It’s called Yūsha Yoshihiko, or The Hero Yoshihiko.

Thanks & reblogging answer so others can also look it up.
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Thank you so much! I appreciate that. Here you go, let me know if there’s anything else I can do:

“Look I love you guys but maybe a studio apartment was a bad idea and did you really just elbow me in the rib oh my god.”

“One of us sleep walks and turns all the lights on and we have to take turns standing vigil until we find out who it is.”

“You two keep switching outfits for about three minutes in the middle of the day and then switching back just to convince me I’m losing my mind DON’T SAY YOU AREN’T I KNOW YOU ARE.”

“You’re the only one who knows how to cook anything other than Ramen, but it’s your birthday so somehow, between the two of us, we will cook you a nice romantic meal so go sit down and ignore the smoke alarm.”

“Which one of you brought in the kitten. No you can’t both point to each other, one of you did it and it was you wasn’t it… oh my god look at it we’re keeping it.”

“We have an extra person on our hands we have to win the monthly blanket fort contest in our building cmon we have to.”

“Everyone else in the building is coming up with theories about why three people are sharing a one bedroom apartment and honestly it’s so entertaining let’s not tell anyone for a while, yeah?”

“Our very friendly next door neighbors asked us to babysit and amazingly not even one out of the three of us has any experience with kids oh god it won’t stop crying”

“We all assumed someone else was going to call the plumber so now the three of us are down to one shower and now I realize why our water bill is so high you take foREVER DEAR GOD”

“I can never keep track of who’s doing what- making coffee, mopping, purposefully making the bed wrong, leaving antifolk music on whenever I get out of the shower- but you’re both so weird and I love you. Wait what do you mean neither of you make the bed wrong? Who the hell keeps messing up our bed?”

And, just for kicks, “A human buys and old house already inhabited by a ghost and frequented by a stray werewolf, and one thing leads to another…”
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penrosesun:

I ordered some stain remover online, and it shipped with a single individually packaged Swedish Fish:

I am about to leave one heck of a surreal Amazon review…
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gay-irl:

gay_irl
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malunis:

laurenzuke:

life of an artist

If there’s not a Tumblr dedicated to relatable quotes from professional artists, there should be 
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whisperwhisk:
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Photo

Jun. 13th, 2018 09:52 pm
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iwouldliketobutteryourmuffins:

classy
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When the Portland police chief said it was ok to go through suspects' trash because "they have no right to privacy," journalists went through the police chief's garbage and published what they found:

jumpingjacktrash:

orestian:

houstonwehaveadog:

thevoluntaryist:

This article is full of gold.

After much debate, we resolved to turn the tables on three of our esteemed public officials. We embarked on an unauthorized sightseeing tour of their garbage, to make a point about how invasive a “garbage pull” really is–and to highlight the government’s ongoing erosion of people’s privacy.

We chose District Attorney Mike Schrunk because his office is the most vocal defender of the proposition that your garbage is up for grabs. We chose Police Chief Mark Kroeker because he runs the bureau. And we chose Mayor Vera Katz because, as police commissioner, she gives the chief his marching orders.

Each, in his or her own way, has endorsed the notion that you abandon your privacy when you set your trash out on the curb. So we figured they wouldn’t mind too much if we took a peek at theirs.

Boy, were we wrong.

Perched in his office on the 15th floor of the Justice Center, Chief Kroeker seemed perfectly comfortable with the idea of trash as public property.

“Things inside your house are to be guarded,” he told WW. “Those that are in the trash are open for trash men and pickers and–and police. And so it’s not a matter of privacy anymore.”

Then we spread some highlights from our haul on the table in front of him.

“This is very cheap,” he blurted out, frowning as we pointed out a receipt with his credit-card number, a summary of his wife’s investments, an email prepping the mayor about his job application to be police chief of Los Angeles, a well-chewed cigar stub, and a handwritten note scribbled in pencil on a napkin, so personal it made us cringe. We also drew his attention to a newsletter from the conservative political advocacy group Focus on the Family, addressed to “Mr. & Mrs. Mark Kroeker.”

“Are you a member of Focus on the Family?” we asked.

“No,” the chief replied.

“Is your wife?”

“You know,” he said, with a Clint Eastwood gaze, “it’s none of your business.”

As we explained our thinking, the chief, who is usually polite to a fault, cut us off in mid sentence. “OK,” he said, suddenly standing up, “we’re done.”

Hours later, the chief issued a press release complaining that WW had gone through “my personal garbage at my home.” KATU promptly took to the airwaves declaring, “Kroeker wants Willamette Week to stay out of his garbage.”

Someone in Portland did something that’s actually cool

shit are journalists doing journalism now? 2018 already wild

looks like the journalism profession finally remembered that kissing ass won’t save you from politicians, and decided to take some names.
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420broscope:

elphabaforpresidentofgallifrey:

elphabaforpresidentofgallifrey:

put this in the MOMA

@sharkpilot @aslanthelioness @dinosaurdamage @kingduck303
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laughoutloud-club:

This guy knows what’s up
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heartgf:

kidzbopdeathgrips:

china, 2500 years ago:

guy 1: hey what should we put in this boiling water

guy 2, an absolute fucking genius: uh……………..

leaves.
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quickweaves:

I’m glad I watched this
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cloversnotes:

cloversnotes:

This is my first coding assignment for my software engineering class that started today. It’s going to be a really good semester.

UPDATE: I got my grade back and

“100″
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so a long time ago humans were trying to figure out edible plant matter, right

and because they didn’t have fucking microscopes or anything they were like “okay we have to divide them in some way that is easy for us to figure out”

so they COULD have divided them up by like, color or some shit

like all the red things are called noogles and all the orange ones are called fuckips and all the yellow ones are called snarglebutts or whatever

but they didn’t

they divided them by taste, which makes sense if you’re trying to sort edible plant matter, the whole point is eating them so why not sort them by the most likely reason you need to know the difference between them

so all the sweet tasting things are called fruits and all the not sweet tasting things are called vegetables

except like other than that there’s no rhyme or reason to it at all??

like potatoes are roots and broccoli is a flower and pumpkins are fruits and celery are stocks

but we’re putting them together because they don’t taste sweet

and lemons are juicy and wet but not sweet but they’re fruit for some reason but tomatoes aren’t even though they’re also juicy but not sweet and carrots aren’t even though carrots can be sweet

meanwhile apples are genetically more closely related to fucking roses than they are to shit like blueberries but because they both taste good in pie we put apples and blueberries in the same group and roses are a different thing 

like, there’s a good reason why we sort plants this way, and that reason is “it’s easier to make food if you know vaguely what it tastes like beforehand,” and sorting plants by genetic family also makes sense if your reasoning is “i want to know what plants are related,” but they’re both sorting groups that humans made up and we could just as easily sort by color or shape if we decided that was an important thing we needed to know and that’s why it’s a social construct
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sunspotpony:

ranma-official:

omgweatherunderground:

steelplatedhearts:

sourcefieldmix:

good idea: marry a blacksmith so you can get free swords whenever 

Better idea; become a miner and then marry a blacksmith so he can have the required materials for you to get free swords whenever. 

Make a harem and marry a full production chain

Monopolygamy.
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hugerez:

beachdeath:

#this is the new form of heterosexuality john waters was talking about

wlw/mlm solidarity
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hugo-cumboss:

EXTREME POWER
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derinthemadscientist:

stumpybelham:

mmmskulljuice:

nalnpraks:

4gifs:

Cuttlefish pretending to be a hermit crab

@mmmskulljuice

look they were both being crabs thinking the other was a crab!!

“am crab.”
“am also crab–wait a minute”
“…YOOOOOOOOOOO”
“YOOOOOOOOOOOO”

Finding other queer people in meatspace
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