Jan. 18th, 2017

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redacuarela:

buttart:

what the hell is with this horse what. why. wtf is going on horse, i love u.

@gravityeyelids
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jackmarlowe:

I’m braced for every push notification rn but CHELSEA MANNING’S SENTENCE HAS BEEN COMMUTED AND SHE’S OUT ON 17 MAY OF THIS YEAR!!!!!!!!!
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lucifer-is-a-bag-of-dicks:

sepulchritude:

lucifer-is-a-bag-of-dicks:

concept: woman makes deal with demon to have it’s child in exchange for eternal life or some shit

woman then makes deal with witch and offers her first born for like, riches or something

woman dumps demon baby on witch, absconds with her winnings and leaves witch and demon fighting for custody

half demon baby grows up learning magic and visiting hell on weekends and every second christmas

does the woman act as a sort of vodka aunt who shows up sometimes to teach the child how to work the system?

“here you go timmy, have a new xbox. this year I’m going to teach you the ins and outs of magical tax evasion”

SHE DOES NOW
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lgbtlaughs:

via @ginnyweazIey
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thecheesyllama:

thegestianpoet:

 this is it..where i hold the Meetings..
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shadowkat678:

the-paradox-machine:

troyler-phanaye:

letsstickwithsam:

the-more-u-know:

lydiallama:

perchu:

shslvalkyrie:

What a time to be alive.

aRE YOU KIDDING ME? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME. THIS IS SHIT. THIS IS A PEICE OF SHIT. NO HUMAN SHOULD EVER HAVE THIS MUCH POWER. THIS IS FUCKING BULLSHIT. THERE WAS A SET AMOUNT OF ICING ON EACH FUCKING OREO AND THATS HOW IT SHOULD BE, GIVE US THIS MUCH POWER THE ICING WILL BE SO UNEASILY SPLIT UP THAT WE WILL HAVE LIKE 20 COOKIES LEFT AND NO FUCKING ICING LEFT. THIS IS RIDICULOUS. THIS IS THE KIND OF SHIT THAT DESTROY SOCIETY AND TOPPLES THE GOVERNMENT. THIS IS TRYING TO SPARK GREED AND LUST AND GLUTTONY INTO THE HEARTS OF EVERYONE, THIS IS FUCKING EVIL DONT BUY INTO THIS SHIT. FUCK THIS,AND  FUCK YOU MOREOS

ok but are we all just pretending that this wouldnt happen

I almost didnt reblog but I started laughing so hard at the drawing posted under it I couldnt pass it up. 

omg it’s the real post, it exists! life complete

We shouldn’t have the power

An artifact!!

This is the hardest I’ve laughed for at least two weeks!!!
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slamdunkthefunk:

lizardsister:

straightallies:

pluckydoodle:

ilikechildren–fried:

hattedhedgehog:

the-eagle-atarian:

silentthevoice:

i would platonic date so many people 

like fuck yeah let me take u out to a fancy restaurant let’s get dressed up and go without all the romantic involvement or anything like that it would be so nice

*Quietly raises hand* Actually what the OP was talking about is a real thing:

Source (x)

Ohhh I see what you mean! You mean 

I get it now

while friendship is the level of being friends, if it were a scale then queerplatonic would be in between friendship and a romantic relationship because there is a deeper connection than just friendship that is like the attachment level of a romantic relationship without the romantic feelings

oh ok, so like this!

this post has haunted me for years like have y'all never hung out with people before

I’m going to die
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cherryberryann:

SO vine’s gonna be dead soon so i collected all the vines i fucking love, enjoy

and also tag yourself. I’m the boy singing “xoxo…. gossip girl”
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leiko-tomago:

first day of the semester: this isn’t so bad! maybe i actually won’t be an absolute mess this time around.

third day of the semester:
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studylustre:

concept: go to sleep early and wake up early to tackle the day, accomplish Things™
reality: goes to bed at 2am, wakes up at 12pm, is dead inside
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dxnversalex:

viralthings:

Before and after I sign good boy to my deaf dog
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rederiswrites:

I’m fucking dying; we’ve got this three year old over, and he finds our Green Lantern mask, so he comes up to me wearing it and asks what Green Lantern’s powers are.  So I tell him Green Lantern has a ring that can ‘make anything he imagines’ (I mean he’s three, I’m not going to Get Into It) and he runs off.

And like 40 seconds later, we hear, “Ring, make me into the Flash!”

Fuckin’ COLD, man.
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gatsby: haha yeah......................old sport
nick:do you have a signature on your texts?
gatsby:no............................old sport
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chescher:

i did like 3 chore today mom why u making loud noise
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prismatoid:

oh my god, hello how are you welcome to my aquarium 
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me: *overthinks everything and cries*
*5 minutes later*
also me: *sees funny post and laughs* oh okay im back
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iguanamouth:

monsterlets:

but now i’m just picturing a spider hopping along on one leg
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joobear:

Nearby Radar: Look at all these rare Pokemon right around the corner!

Me:
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rumplestiltskin:

My fellow Americans, it has been the honor of my life to serve you. I won’t stop; in fact, I will be right there with you, as a citizen, for all my days that remain. For now, whether you’re young or young at heart, I do have one final ask of you as your President - the same thing I asked when you took a chance on me eight years ago.
I am asking you to believe. Not in my ability to bring about change - but in yours. I am asking you to hold fast to that faith written into our founding documents; that idea whispered by slaves and abolitionists; that spirit sung by immigrants and homesteaders and those who marched for justice; that creed reaffirmed by those who planted flags from foreign battlefields to the surface of the moon; a creed at the core of every American whose story is not yet written: Yes We Can. Yes We Did. Yes We Can.THANK YOU, PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA FOR EIGHT AMAZING YEARS [2008-2016]
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tikkunolamorgtfo:

challahchic:

blazingjaya:

orcshaming:

when you spend enough time looking at unnecessarily gendered products it starts to become clear that the only two real genders are pink and black, so from now on i’m going to ask heterosexual couples which one of them is the stuart semple and which one of them is the anish kapoor

SCREAMING

@tikkunolamorgtfo I already know your answer.

I’m going to have a hard time explaining to my husband that he is the Semple to my Kapoor, but I accept the classification and the challenge wholeheartedly. 
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note-a-bear:

prettyboyshyflizzy:

berniesrevolution:

itsalburton:

berniesrevolution:

PSA:

I’m so sorry to our younger millennial followers, but if Democrats don't unite in fierce opposition to this uncaring, incompetent, anti-public school billionaire, you guys could be well and truly fucked…..

CALL YOUR SENATORS AND SPREAD THE WORD!!!

Reminder that this woman’s foundation advocates for the return of child labor because “practical education and social skills while learning the value of a dollar”.

She’s incredibly stupid and incompetent like Trumpy McFuckface, but she’ll bleed schools dry and send the kids back into the coal mines

Could it get any worse

I was watching some of this earlier and the woman shouldn’t be in charge of a recycling drive on her block, much less the nation’s schools
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gaystation-4:

oerbadiaerick:

his-shining-tears:

healing by touching butt

“You’re powered up, get in there”

Me as a healer in any game
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daasharjitsingh:

Turban By All Religion 

Photography By A. k. Sandhu 
gravityeyelids: (Default)
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unflatteringcatselfies:

This is Nova, she’s a butthole and is very much spoiled.
In this picture she has a heating pad and a fluffy blanket and is purring her head off.
She’s my princess 🌸

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Rachel

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