Rachel

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acreaturecalledgreed:

acreaturecalledgreed:

for the first like 14 years of my life i thought that the story of saint valentine and valentines day were a celebration of a massive gay polyamorous marriage and let me tell you, i was sorely disappointed when i learned i had massively misunderstood that story

i was told the basic story of “the king had made it illegal for young men to get married so that they could be drafted off to go to war (as married men with families were not, apparently)” and that “saint valentine thought this was cruel, and married the young men in secret”

what this was supposed to communicate to me was “saint valentine would marry young men to their girlfriends in secret as a priest at his own risk and thats why we celebrate valentines day” 

what i got out of it was “saint valentine married a shitton of dudes so he could protect his army of husbands from having to go to war and it was beautiful and love can halt war in its tracks and thats why we celebrate valentines day”

and thats why the assumption that a child would automatically get a hetero interpretation of the story and the innate unclarity of the english language made me think that valentines day was about mass gay poly marriage until i was like fourteen and recited the story to a friend who stared at me like id grown three extra heads

i like my version better im not gonna lie
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naamahdarling:

setheverman:

tooquirkytolose:

My 26 yr old sister still says things out loud like ‘ermagerd’ and ’___ ALL the things!’ Like…is that what’s gonna happen to me?am I going to be 30 still saying stupid shit like O shit waddup! Are all the youngins gonna be embarrassed by my use of outdated memes….how long until I myself am not Hip With It….how long until I am no longer a trendy memer…

my greatest fear honestly

Listen, I am 40.  I was around for the early internet of webrings and hamsterdance. Homestarrunner.  Those little cats in the boat singing to Immigrant Song.  Longcat.  Ceiling cat.  Radiskull.  Powerthirst.

So to me anything that is funny on the internet is, and always will be, cutting-edge and hilarious.  If it’s funny the first time, it’s funny the eleven thousandth time.  No exceptions.

I accumulate memes. Social media sites form actual strata in my soul, revealing my geological age in layers: Geocities, Myspace, Livejournal, Tumblr.  Memes encrust me, like jewels, just layer on layer of reaction gifs and shitposts, some of which I barely understand, but I refuse to let go of.  I cling to them, they are ever-relevant, undying.

You callow youths, who think in your innocence that that memes come and go, you are tepid fools who still smell of milk.

I am where memes go to die. I am where memes go to live eternal. Someday, if you are lucky, you will join me.  Bring your breadsticks meme, your Spiders Georg, your Bode, your big mood, your Supernatural gifs, your oh worm.  Come with me and rejoice in pointless in-jokes and long-forgotten references.  Embrace your encyclopedic knowledge of comedy sites ca 2006 and come share the knowledge with us. Come with me and lik the bred.  

You gotta.
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girlactionfigure:

“Eighty five years ago, after the sun set, my grandmother took out her camera before lighting the candles of Chag Chanuka and took a picture of her Chanukia facing a Nazi flag. I have the original picture and menorah. On the back of this picture my grandmother wrote in German, “Judea will live forever, thus respond the lights.” I have donated the menorah to Yad Vashem under one condition; Yad Vashem will only have it for 51 weeks in the year. Every year, during the week of Chanuka, I take the menorah that is in this box and re-light my grandmother’s Chanukia.“ Beezrat Hashem the light of this Chanuka will be lit for all the years to come. Chanuka Sameach!

“Juda verrecke”
die Fahne spricht
“Juda lebt ewig”
erwidert das Licht”
“Death to Judah”
So the flag says
“Judah will live forever”
So the light answers

humansoftherova
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helloitsbees:

rest in fucking pieces siobhan
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keybladeofsteel:

valencing:

current mood: house democrats coming up with pointedly thin excuses to skip the trump inauguration

“My mom said I can’t go”