Jan. 12th, 2017

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Queen of Vampire on Behance

chloe veillard
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Reblog while it’s still true

I wanna see this get a million notes before he leaves office.

My boy !

January 19th’s the last day we can reblog, so don’t miss your opportunity!
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Watch: How Rodney’s island home and his father’s career inspired him to give back.
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do anyone know where the kids are d*wnl**ding m*sic for fre* these days
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Reminder that all sex workers - whether they strip, do film, cam work, or full service - deserve respect and to be compensated for their labor.
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been thinkin abt the REAL questions

I’d like to respectfully submit a third option


wwould you look at that

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2017 is the year to stop caring abt toxic exs!!! ex friends, ex significant others, ex qpps, ex fps!!! all of em! u dont need em and u dont need to care about them or what they think of u!!!! ur free!!!!! enjoy the people in your life now and leave those sorry fuckers in 2016
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I love this campaign. All members of the LGBT community deserve to feel safe and that includes senior citizens

This is beyond amazing.
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I know that “ACAB” is an acronym for All Cops Are Bastards but every time I see it I still think Assigned Cop At Birth

“Sir… Ma’am… it’s a cop.”

“No!! Surely there’s a mistake!”

isn’t this the pre-origin story origin story of Axe Cop
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My piece for the Supergiant Fanizine!! THANK YOU SO MUCH @dieciaem for organizing it!
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I wish I could help my friends rather than just making shitty jokes about how depressed we both are

My life in a nutshell
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Chris+Chris = Chris ²

I went to fool around on face morph but instead I unlocked a conspiracy 

#i cant believe chris hemsworth is a fusion

#the christal gems

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You want to get kids out of foster care and into good, loving homes? I’ve got a simple solution to your problem.

Did you know LGBT couples are more likely to adopt older, children of color and disable children than straight couples? LGBT couples tend to adopt ‘undesired’ children more (basically kids no one else wants.)

This is so important because I remember being in the system and being so scared that I would never be adopted or loved or whatever and seriously just fucking let them, take the fear out of finding a family

Exactly. I reblog this every time I see it. EVERY time.

yes, please let us

Some governments are pushing for adoption and refusing to increase funding for children’s aid societies that would go into foster/group care… but won’t let willing, capable couples adopt because they aren’t straight. How does that make any sense?

Let LGBTQIA parents adopt damn it!


Jan. 12th, 2017 07:55 am
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(This post is going around.  Since I pretty much like the post, I’m making my own post rather than introducing this in the responses there, but I do want to link to it for context.)

A really cool and classy trans lady I corresponded with for a while on a different social site used words like “transsexual” and “transgendered.”  She spoke of herself as being born in the wrong body, and she spoke of herself as being biologically male, MTF.

She was in her late 60s.

I did not correct her.  I would not in a hundred years have dared.  

Given the social climate and hostility she had endured, I was fortunate to be speaking to her at all.

I have occasionally seen younger people criticizing older people quite harshly for that sort of thing.  That hurts.

The use of language changes, my friends.

It is so, so very important to help people outside the community understand what language is most appropriate, and it’s important to discuss this stuff within the community so that we can reach some kind of consensus (however messy) moving forward.

It is also very, very important to respect the elders among us, and to understand that their experiences and the wisdom they have to share with us are of tremendous importance and incalculable value.  And the language they use?  Is part of their history, and our history, and respecting that fact in all its complexity is part of respecting them . . . and respecting ourselves as a community.

Language is so important, but in thirty years I guarantee you some of the language we defend so vigorously now will be woefully outdated, and many of us will still be clinging to it, much to the consternation of the younger generation.  

I’m not saying it isn’t important to strive to create the most respectful, helpful language possible, and educate others when it is right to do so.  It is vitally necessary that we do so.  But we have to remember that this is a process that, thank heavens, never, ever ends.

Language cannot, and should not, stop evolving.  Look at us.  Look at all of us.  So beautiful, so many.  We are a dynamic community, a vivid community, full of art and history and passion and pathos and great, great power.  Something so lively is always surrounded by change.  That is so beautiful, and should be welcomed going forward … and it should be respected looking back.

There are words not yet invented that will apply to those not yet born.  Those people should be respected when they join us.  And the words we use now, they are good for now, and we should be respected.  And our elders should be respected.  Letting language take that from us is a horrifying prospect.

So.  Let us not forget that language is primarily meant to be what helps bind us together.  Let us remember not to let it set us apart, to squeeze us like a fist.

Please remember your history when discussing language.  You will eventually be part of our history.  You already are.  Please.  Go with open hands.

Yes. This.

This goes for other marginalized communities as well. I have a teacher who (in his words) “suffers from” depression. I am a strong proponent of the idea that everyone should have the right to define their own existence in their own words. So while I personally favor the neurodiversity model and I much prefer the neutral “has [x condition]” over “suffers from [x condition]”, I am not going to correct my teacher’s language because it’s his choice to define his depression for himself.

Thank you for bringing mental illness into this, because it didn’t occur to me, but there are many parallels, and as I myself am mentally ill and disabled because of it, I feel like I can actually talk about this with some authority.

Speaking as someone with an anxiety disorder and depression-dominant bipolar, I heavily identify with the “suffers from” narrative.  Not everyone does.  But if I said “I suffer from depression” and someone tried to “correct” my language to be more in line with what genuinely should be the default when you don’t know how the other person relates to their issue, they would get a gentle earful.

When someone tells you how they relate to some part of their core being, you believe them.  If they use the “trapped in the wrong body” framework for themselves, respect it, don’t correct it.  If they describe themselves as “suffering from X”, respect it, don’t correct it.

Some conditions do not inherently cause much suffering and while some people may indeed be miserable with these conditions, for the most part it’s society’s lack of accommodation that makes those conditions painful to live with.  (From my understanding, autism, many forms of physical disability, blindness, Deafness, etc., would all reliably fall into this category.)  (This is the social model of disability in a nutshell.  The idea that if people were afforded necessary accommodations, these issues wouldn’t be too much of a problem.)

Some conditions absolutely tend to cause inherent suffering simply because that is what they do.  What I have is, IMO, one of those things.  While I personally know people who have the same exact illness I have and actively enjoy it (mania is apparently enjoyable for a friend of mine), most people who are bipolar, in my experience, do not.  That is simply the nature of what bipolar is.  Likewise, my anxiety disorder: if it did not cause suffering, it would not exist.  That’s what it is.  It causes discomfort, sometimes so acute I cry or feel like I’m going to throw up.  You can’t accommodate me out of it, though you can damn sure make it worse by not allowing me to take care of it.

It’s a fact that if we accommodated these things better, the suffering would be less.  For instance, if I were afforded enough money to live on each month, adequate medical care by competent professionals willing to treat me as the authority in my illness, and appropriate medication, I would be a lot happier.  I do not have those things.  I am absolutely made more miserable because of it.  But no level of accommodation will stop my neurotransmitters – or lack thereof – from making me miserable from time to time.

The language that it is appropriate to apply to someone else may very well differ from what they use to describe themselves.  There are some things it is not okay to impose on other people, even as it is perfectly okay to be those things.

Language develops and grows, and we are always seeking good terms to use that describe people without assigning them characteristics or narratives with which they may not identify.  That’s a good thing.  I get very frustrated when I see people complain about changing language, or “made-up terms”. That attitude is an active resistance to positive change.

I also get very frustrated when I see people trying to stamp out words without knowing their history, or respecting people who use those word, and have used them for decades (e.g.: “queer”, which you will pry from my cold dead fingers).

We need a better understanding of the necessary divide between personal experience and group descriptors.

This is a big thing in the autistic community. Older folks (I’m talking the >35 set by and large) lean more towards person-first language. Younger folks (like me I admit) lean more towards identity-first. 

And there’s a good reason for that in both cases. Folks who grew up in the 70s and earlier were around for the early disability rights movements - they remember the time when identity-first was used to dehumanize and other. Person-first is their way of fighting back: I am a person, you will not forget that. 

Younger folks were around for Autism Speaks and its co-opting of person-first language for its own bigoted ends. For the era of forced normalization, of passing, of “I Am Autism” and “Autism Every Day,” of being portrayed as demon-children while your abusers and the killers of people like you get fawning attention because it’s ever-so-difficult to be around people like you, and of personhood and autism being considered mutually exclusive and personhood being conditional on passing - so if you pass, you’re not autistic and don’t have a right to an opinion because you’re not severe enough, and if you don’t pass, you’re too severely affected to really understand how wretched you are, and therefore you don’t have the right to an opinion. For us, identity-first is a way of claiming our voice - it’s an extension of nothing about us without us. I am autistic, and I am a person, and you don’t get to choose which of those you respect. You will listen to me, because of both, not in spite of one.

What I’m pointing out here is that sometimes generations can have mutually-exclusive language preferences for what amounts to the same underlying reason, owing to differences in culture at the time of the generation’s coming-of-age. Person-first and identity-first are in fact mutually exclusive - someone cannot simultaneously respect my wish to be called autistic and another person’s wish to not hear autistic people referred to as autistic. But they’re both rooted in a demand for respect, a demand to be recognized as a full person. 

The autistic community has mostly settled this issue by saying you have the final call in how you are referred to, but you don’t have the right to push others into identifying differently. The wishes that get respected in an instance are the wishes of the person being referred to. So you would refer to me as autistic, and you might refer to someone else as a person with autism, and both are okay as long as you’re respecting the identity of the person in question.

I think the QUILTBAG community could really benefit from taking that sort of attitude, too. Case in point: For me, I would never refer to myself as dyke and would get really fucking angry with anyone who did refer to me as dyke- I lived in a very old-fashioned community. Dyke was a tool of dehumanization and a threat. I hear someone call me a dyke and I’m 8 on the playground having my face smashed open on a chunk of ice to the tune of “Dyke bitch! Dyke bitch!” again. No amount of reclamation is going to lessen that association for me. But other people want to reclaim it as a sense of defiance - I’m a dyke, what of it? I respect their defiance, and I respect their right to choose the language with which they identify. 

This is such a cool addition to my post. Thank you.
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where do daytime animals go at night anyway,,ive never seen one,, the fear i would feel if i was outside after dark and a duck walked past me is indescribable 
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Contrary to popular stereotypes associated with fanfiction, I have never written a sex scene, but I did once write a scene in which Voldemort went on a blind date with someone he met on the internet, but it turned out to be Harry Potter catfishing him, so I’m not sure what’s worse
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Belated new years resolutions, to make my therapist happy:

Try to be happy about coming to a greater understanding of yourself. It doesn’t have to be about feeling bad. It can be about finally realizing that there was a good reason you’ve felt bad for so long, and finding out that you might not have to feel that way forever.

pass that class! do it by staying calm. don’t let it overwhelm you. you’re stronger than it and smarter.

don’t try to never think of those assholes, but when you think of them, be proud that you got out, and you survived it.

you don’t have to gain weight, but try not to starve your brain, even if it’s being mean. be the bigger person.

discourse less.

do more studies, get good. but also remember that you’ve already gotten so much better than you were and you’re not behind.

remember that things are okay, you’re okay, it’s okay to be you.
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enter this into the Google search

site:<url of site where you read the fic> <a line you remember from the fic or character names plus a unique detail>

for example:

site:http://ift.tt/HeCC5o Todd Margo pedicure

Google will search only AO3 and tell you which pages contain the words Todd Margo and pedicure.

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Alex is learning (9/?)

credit for the idea goes to @swanmills follow them right now!
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The Creative Act of Listening to a Talking Frog

Kermit the Frog gives a talk on creativity and creative risk-taking
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The Purpose for dress codes:

1. Safety

2. A professional educational environment

3. To counter violence.

4. Improve academic success

5. Reduce class/economic envy

6. Improve deteriorating schools

7. To be prepared for work.





AND, as I said, current dress codes DO NOT DO THIS. Let’s take the issue of girls’ tank tops. 

1. Safety- A tank top is not dangerous. 

2. Professionalism. We have talked about this at length. Allowing graphic t-shirts is also unprofessional. The inconsistency is the problem.

3. Violence. Tank tops are not violent. 

4. Academic success. A tank top does not impair your ability to do work.

5. Class envy. I’m laughing so god damn hard right now. Have you ever been inside a middle school? You think that current dress codes cut down on this? Anyway, tank tops do not inspire class envy. 5. 

6. Improve schools. Tank tops to not make schools worse.

7. Prepared for work. Tank tops do not make a student unprepared.

A TRULY consistent dress code with the purposes above would resemble school uniforms, or at least a FAR stricter set of guidelines than we have now. (A list of “cans” instead of a list of “nos” if you will.) 

Again, the issue is that current dress codes disproportionately impact young female students. They do not teach professional dress due to their inconsistency. 
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Hehe equality right?

Do you not understand the purpose of this, or why the prices are what they are? Does this need to be explained to you?

Oh yea right, the famous “wage gap” between men and women that has been debunked tons of times! That sure is the right argument to fight sexism with!

Not debunked, misrepresented, as it is a complicated issue. It’s honestly more accurate to call it a PAY gap than a WAGE gap, since there are a myriad of factors at play here. Women DO, on average, make less money than men. That is indisputable, and the margins widen when you include factors of race, disability, and sexuality. 

Here’s a good starter resource on it. 

IF you would like some more in depth reading:

This one is from Stanford about the Gender Pay Gap

This is a New York Times article looking at the Organization for Economic Cooperation and Development’s report on the topic.

This one is from the International Trade Union Confederation 

This one is from Oxford, titled Up the Down Staircase: Women’s Upward Mobility and the Wage Penalty for Occupational Feminization

You can also look at the US Census’s look at the Pay Gap

Or the Institute for Women’s Policy Research

Even the United States Government Accountability Office has some information on it.

So yes, the bake sale above is a pretty simplistic little stunt about a complicated economic and social issue. But the fact that it pisses people off sort of makes its point for it. 
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Putting this into the ether for others to use:  I’ve never really liked the narrative of “I’ve always been [gender] on the inside,” at least for myself.

Because for me?  I didn’t feel like I was always secretly a girl.  And that was an instrument I used to beat myself up with, and a reason I postponed my transition longer than I probably needed to.

For a long time, I’d wanted to be a girl, certainly.  But from my perspective at the time, I very evidently was not one.  I had grown up a boy.  I had learned the things society taught boys.  I was absolutely saturated with a thick ugly glob of male privilege.  (”And let’s be real, there was no way in hell my ogrelike body would ever look acceptably feminine anyway, so why even try?” was a thing I definitely said to myself in private.)

And I hated it.  A lot.  A lot a lot.  But at the time, I also believed the message that real trans women were people who had always known they were really women.  And therefore I could never be one, not really, because I lacked this whatever-it-was I didn’t have.  So I viewed my maleness as something akin to chronic tinnitus; an unpleasant screeching dissonance inside my head that I just had to live with.  Forever.  Because the damage was clearly permanent, right?

I’ve changed my mind on the subject, of course.

(And side note, I mean, what does it even mean to say “I’ve always been a girl on the inside?”  Like, philosophically?  Ontologically?  I don’t wanna get too far down the rabbit hole of my spiritual and metaphysical beliefs, because that’s a very personal thing and I want this to actually be useful to other people who are in the position I was, but in short:  I personally do not believe in the idea of the soul, the a priori essential self that exists above and outside the physical and social constructs of self.  I’m a pretty firm believer in tabula rasa, or at least tabula mostly rasa.  So if I don’t believe I existed prior to my shaping in this world, where could I possibly derive a preexisting femininity that no one had given me?)

So for myself, I don’t believe I was always a woman.  I believe I had to become one.

Hell, I don’t entirely think I’m done?  But I suspect most people are always in the process of constructing their gender, so maybe I’m not too far behind on the assignment.

The question that cemented my decision to transition was not “do you feel like a woman on the inside”, it was

“would a cisgender person be thinking about changing their gender this much?”

Because I didn’t think “I feel like a woman” every day, but I sure as hell asked myself that question every goddamn day for a year before I accepted I needed to change.

It’s like the old joke goes, “how many trans people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just one, but they have to sit in the darkness for six months before they accept the light isn’t working.”

Firstly, that’s priceless and I hadn’t heard it before.


Me:  Hey, honey!  How many trans folks does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Wife:  I dunno, don’t they have to check with a doctor first?
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“I came to learn that women have never had a history or culture of leisure. (Unless you were a nun, one researcher later told me.) That from the dawn of humanity, high status men, removed from the drudge work of life, have enjoyed long, uninterrupted hours of leisure. And in that time, they created art, philosophy, literature, they made scientific discoveries and sank into what psychologists call the peak human experience of flow. Women aren’t expected to flow. I read feminist leisure research (who knew such a thing existed?) and international studies that found women around the globe felt that they didn’t deserve leisure time. It felt too selfish. Instead, they felt they had to earn time to themselves by getting to the end of a very long To Do list. Which, let’s face it, never ends. I began to realise that time is power. That time is a feminist issue.”

Brigid Schulte: Why time is a feminist issue (via librarianbyday)

My father, an activist and artist, told me I wouldn’t be able to be an artist when I had kids, because I would have to give all my time and energy to them.

This was said in 2005 when I was pregnant with my first child. 

And I have also been told on this very site that I had no right to have opinion, outside interests, or write because I should be taking care of my children. This was said, most recently, in November 2016, by a woman who claims to be interested in the rights of women. 

Let’s think about what that means.

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this gay couple on the night train had actual chickens with them and i was certain i hallucinated it until i found the pictures just now
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studying Mongolian traditional wear
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A-Sauce Ada’s Lattice one piece dress preorder


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