![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
gravityeyelidsvia http://ift.tt/2En9U7S
I think it’s BS.
The only reasoning I’ve ever seen people use for why men and women saying they’re attracted to nonbinary people is ‘fetishizing’ is that “not all nonbinary people look the same and not all nonbinary identities are the same so saying you’re attracted to nonbinary people makes no sense!!”…except that this reasoning can also be applied to people saying they’re attracted to men and women.
Not all men look the same or experience manhood in the same way, not all women look the same or experience manhood in the same way, and the difference in appearance and identity between one man and another or one woman and another can easily be the same as the difference in identity and appearance between two nonbinary people - two demigirls or two genderfluid people - between an agender person and a genderqueer person - etc etc etc.
And yet NO ONE is pulling this fetishization argument on wlw or mlm or even straight people. No one is out here saying, “how can you say you’re attracted to women/men? not all women/men look the same! not all women/men have the same personality! are you sure you’re not fetishizing women/men?” because it’s basic common sense that when someone says “I’m attracted to women/men” they don’t mean “I’m attracted to every single woman/man on the face of the earth because to me they’re all exactly the same with no difference between them”. It’s literally no different with mlnb or wlnb and people saying “I’m attracted to nonbinary people”.
Being attracted to nonbinary people (sexually, romantically, platonically) isn’t fetishizing in and of itself. In order for someone to be fetishizng us they would have to see our identities (and us by extension) as nothing more than a turn-on for them, they would have to not care or acknowledge that we are actual people with our own minds and our own thoughts and feelings, they would have to see and treat nonbinary people and nonbinary identities as little more than a means by which they could facilitate their own sexual fantasies and desires. A similar comparison is to look at attraction to women—being attracted to women in and of itself is not fetishizing or harmful, but the objectification of women and seeing them as nothing more than sex objects is, but we know that attraction to women does not automatically mean that someone is fetishizing/objectifying them. Attraction to nonbinary people (or to people of any gender identity) only becomes problematic when you forget that they are, in fact, people and start to consider your attraction to them to be more real than they are and see them as nothing more than a kink for you.
From everything I’ve seen from mlnb and wlnb and even nblnb, this isn’t what’s going on. People are very simply saying “I’m attracted to nonbinary people” with the same meaning and inflection they have with saying “I’m attracted to men/women” and if people don’t find attraction to men/women to be “fetishizing” then they shouldn’t find attraction to nonbinary people fetishizing either, as literally every argument I’ve seen about the latter can easily apply to the former as well.
(Your picture was not posted)
I think it’s BS.
The only reasoning I’ve ever seen people use for why men and women saying they’re attracted to nonbinary people is ‘fetishizing’ is that “not all nonbinary people look the same and not all nonbinary identities are the same so saying you’re attracted to nonbinary people makes no sense!!”…except that this reasoning can also be applied to people saying they’re attracted to men and women.
Not all men look the same or experience manhood in the same way, not all women look the same or experience manhood in the same way, and the difference in appearance and identity between one man and another or one woman and another can easily be the same as the difference in identity and appearance between two nonbinary people - two demigirls or two genderfluid people - between an agender person and a genderqueer person - etc etc etc.
And yet NO ONE is pulling this fetishization argument on wlw or mlm or even straight people. No one is out here saying, “how can you say you’re attracted to women/men? not all women/men look the same! not all women/men have the same personality! are you sure you’re not fetishizing women/men?” because it’s basic common sense that when someone says “I’m attracted to women/men” they don’t mean “I’m attracted to every single woman/man on the face of the earth because to me they’re all exactly the same with no difference between them”. It’s literally no different with mlnb or wlnb and people saying “I’m attracted to nonbinary people”.
Being attracted to nonbinary people (sexually, romantically, platonically) isn’t fetishizing in and of itself. In order for someone to be fetishizng us they would have to see our identities (and us by extension) as nothing more than a turn-on for them, they would have to not care or acknowledge that we are actual people with our own minds and our own thoughts and feelings, they would have to see and treat nonbinary people and nonbinary identities as little more than a means by which they could facilitate their own sexual fantasies and desires. A similar comparison is to look at attraction to women—being attracted to women in and of itself is not fetishizing or harmful, but the objectification of women and seeing them as nothing more than sex objects is, but we know that attraction to women does not automatically mean that someone is fetishizing/objectifying them. Attraction to nonbinary people (or to people of any gender identity) only becomes problematic when you forget that they are, in fact, people and start to consider your attraction to them to be more real than they are and see them as nothing more than a kink for you.
From everything I’ve seen from mlnb and wlnb and even nblnb, this isn’t what’s going on. People are very simply saying “I’m attracted to nonbinary people” with the same meaning and inflection they have with saying “I’m attracted to men/women” and if people don’t find attraction to men/women to be “fetishizing” then they shouldn’t find attraction to nonbinary people fetishizing either, as literally every argument I’ve seen about the latter can easily apply to the former as well.
(Your picture was not posted)
