gravityeyelids | Jul. 16th, 2018

Jul. 16th, 2018

via https://ift.tt/2NNgqKl

m4ge:

m4ge:

im a whole entire 21 year old woman and i just drove a toddler-sized electric jeep covered in pictures of frozen characters down a street so i could park it in a garage. i couldnt fit in the seats so i sat on the trunk of the mini vehicle. im not currently wearing contact lenses or glasses so i couldnt actually see anything. i was squinting and grimacing the entire time in an effort to focus on not crashing and dying. let it go was blasting through the speakers

(rolls up to your apartment building in a comically small jeep that hits a maximum of 8mph, squinting so hard my entire face is contorted into a grimace, love is an open door squeaking through the speakers) hey what’s up im your uber
(Your picture was not posted)

via https://ift.tt/2JqHbAI

deerhoofandrabbitsfoot:

brainstatic:

I don’t care what the Founding Fathers would have wanted, I don’t care if Jesus was a hippie or not, I don’t care what Marx prescribed. I can’t take living in a world where we’re all servants of long-dead men. You know what happens if you make a law the Founding Fathers wouldn’t like? Nothing, they’re dead and they’re never coming back. I’m genuinely envious of countries that can just make whatever laws they want without worrying about how 18th century agrarian noblemen would have seen it. Stop arguing that Jesus loved the poor too, what he loved or didn’t love is irrelevant, he doesn’t get a say in any of this. We could have a country that isn’t shackled to these ghosts if we collectively wanted to.

This is gorgeous.
(Your picture was not posted)

via https://ift.tt/2NPLb10
(Your picture was not posted)

via https://ift.tt/2Jq4VFd

liberalsarecool:

critically-yours:

WAKE 👏🏻 UP 👏🏻 AMERICA 👏🏻

Jobs are not STOLEN. They are given by companies looking to exploit.
(Your picture was not posted)

via https://ift.tt/2NTU4Xp

zeemczed:

argumate:

meta-plastic:

meta-plastic:

Petroleum, when you think about it, is definitely an escaped piece of worldbuilding from a twee gothic fantasy dystopia

“The elven civilization gets energy from poisonous, flammable rock juice mined deep underground, sometimes causing earthquakes in the process. It’s slowly roasting their planet, but they keep doing it anyway to light their disposable palaces and fuel nihilistic displays of opulent wealth. Its stabler aethers are used in cosmetics rubbed upon the skin.”

Like, all it needs is a sinister glowing magenta aesthetic to be absolutely ludicrously fake

“where did it come from?”

“oh just the bodies and bones of great beasts of legend, crushed for aeons beneath mountains of stone”

“And this source of unimaginable power and wealth looks like -”
“A black, slick fluid that stains and permeates anything it touches. Toxic and stinking and-”
“Wow, Carl. Subtle. Real subtle.”
(Your picture was not posted)

via https://ift.tt/2zITY22

flawlessbeautyqueens:

Favorite Photoshoots | Stephanie Beatriz photographed by Sharon Mor Yosef for Vulkan Magazine (2016)
(Your picture was not posted)

via https://ift.tt/2uoi50M

softkatie:

no offense but i’m soOoOoOo in the mood for a girl to sit on my lap, wrap her legs around me and just kiss me senseless
(Your picture was not posted)

via https://ift.tt/2JmZqal

mathbalnase:

allthecanadianpolitics:

I’m proud of these Ontario teachers who are refusing to teach the 1998 sex ed curriculum that Doug Ford is trying to impose in the fall. I hope more teachers follow suit.

Text of tweets:

Shannon Salisbury‏:

I absolutely will not teach a health curriculum that is 20 years old.

It is unethical for me to do so, and I’m pretty sure it would contravene the standards of practice of my profession.

Just a reminder: the word consent appears ZERO times in the 1998 iteration.

–

Derik Chica‏:

I am a teacher. I am not a curriculum robot.

I will teach consent, Truth and Reconciliation, and gender/sexual diversities. Equity policy will let me do this.

I will not bring my classroom back decades because @LisaThompsonMPP decided to turn “curriculum” back decades #ONpoli

Be prepared to defend these teachers, and those like them, should they face backlash from administrators / school boards. Be prepared to fight for them, for their jobs, and for the quality education they offer to their students.
(Your picture was not posted)

via https://ift.tt/2Lcs7Me

fartgallery:

blacksmith: *takes pizza rolls out of the oven and instinctively hits them with a hammer*

blacksmith: oh shit not again
(Your picture was not posted)

via https://ift.tt/2Jr1spS

Ahskshdjsjd
(Your picture was not posted)

via https://ift.tt/2JrWw3W

technicoloursunsetsky:

one-time-i-dreamt:

I was joining random dating sites and i came across one called “Top Tier” which was apparently only for very rich people with high IQs. Only, there was no vetting process so i figured it was just for pompous assholes who thought they were top tier.

I signed up to see what it was like. The color scheme of the site was yellow on black. You had to select one of three options indicating if you were single or not. I don’t remember what the first two were, but the third one was, “you can go to hell,” which meant that for whichever reason, you weren’t interested in anyone. If you chose this option you couldn’t even search the site, so I backed up and chose a different option.

I found Uma Thurman on the site and jokingly sent her a date request, but she actually accepted and now I had a date with her set for tomorrow evening. I was in a panic because I didn’t want to date Uma Thurman. In the dream, she was known for being mean. I was still stressing about how I was gonna break this date, when I woke up.

again, I really need to read the usernames on this fucking site
(Your picture was not posted)

via https://ift.tt/2NmjuMb

indigobluerose:

aleyma:

Fabergé, Chick, 1899-1908 (source).

I NEVER KNEW ANY OF THEM HATCHED
(Your picture was not posted)

via https://ift.tt/2uDOiAC

glumshoe:

absolutebeginnerlondoner:

glumshoe:

“Really, detective? A strawberry daiquiri? Well, you must be secure in your sexuality.” She grinned unpleasantly.

“Very secure,” he said, looking her up and down with his one good eye. “I’m about as gay as an Easter daffodil.”

Why does he have only one good eye? What is the story behind that?

His other eye is chaotic neutral.
(Your picture was not posted)

via https://ift.tt/2LqgCxh

gfdisterek:

gfdisterek:

autistic-answers:

were-all-queer-here:

felixves:

I do this thing where if i have to go to a family event where I will be expected to be a girl I pretend I am a SPY and I am IN DISGUISE AS A TEEN GIRL and my mission is to EXTRACT INFORMATION FROM MY GRANDPARENTS without giving away my real identity. works every time.

your dress and makeup is now a DISGUISE

your ‘birth name’ is now an ALIAS

getting told by your parents to be nice and not yell at anyone being racist is MISSION BRIEFING

your entire extended family are now FOREIGN DIGNITARIES and you gotta make it thru the evening without being discovered as a RADICAL SPY

carrying a small water pistol and one of those fake-lipstick pens in your purse helps to get in the zone. the best part of being a spy is the nifty gadgets everyone knows that.

BONUS if you have to bring a friend of another gender with you to pretend to be your boyfriend. you are both PARTNER SPIES and one of you has to be the cranky but soft-hearted veteran and the other has to be the endearingly-assholeish rookie.

Seems like actually a great way to deal with dysphoria

Shout-out to all the spies who are faced with the world’s most difficult missions.

This is the best coping strategy I have ever seen.

Bringing this back for pride month.
(Your picture was not posted)

via https://ift.tt/2zM6H3W

theultravioletcatastrophe:

me: ok I’m not gonna goof off until I’m done everything I have to do
me to me: or you could just… not do that
me: you make a compelling point
(Your picture was not posted)