knightzoned: knightzoned: I accidentally made eye contact with a mall booth salesperson and barely..

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knightzoned:

knightzoned:

I accidentally made eye contact with a mall booth salesperson and barely escaped a 25 minute long skin care demonstration where she tried to trap me in a sale no less than 4 times

The rules of engagement for mall kiosk owners and pokemon trainers are exactly the same
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the-bookie-monster: charlotte-just-charlotte: gallusrostromegalus: wigglyflippingout: honestly i...

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the-bookie-monster:

charlotte-just-charlotte:

gallusrostromegalus:

wigglyflippingout:

honestly i would never have the balls to pick up a Death Note to destroy my enemies

….

i would, however, snatch up a Yeast Infection Note or a UTI Note up real quick-like

I asked my mother what superpowers she’d want if she could have one and she said:  “I want to karmicly inconvenience people.”  

Someone howling hate speech? Oh No! Sudden and inexplicable chronic laryngitis!

Driving like an asshole?  Uh-oh, Car trouble!

Keep saying nasty shit to people online?  No router in your proximity will ever work.

After a moment she added “or convenience them, that’s important too.  Like people who return lost dogs or volunteer time.  They need extra cash and to never have hayfever again, something like that.”

Your mom is a saint and I love her

Protect her. We need more people like her in the world
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aaronsnailboy: ao3tagoftheday: ethermaster: ao3tagoftheday: ...

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aaronsnailboy:

ao3tagoftheday:

ethermaster:

ao3tagoftheday:

[Image Description: Tag reading “donatello/michelangelo”]

The AO3 Tag of the Day is: Renaissance fanart

I’m gonna let you in on a secret.

That aint renaissance fanart

You know what, assholes? I run this blog for y'all every day. I see things you cannot begin to imagine. I have to read people’s Robespierre smut and their questions about how various monsters would fuck them. I am so jaded that, when someone submits a tag mentioning some random vaguely liquid substance without context, I just assume it’s being used as lube. Nutella? Lube. Crazy glue? Lube. Divine fucking ichor? Fucking lube! I do this for you, y'all. I shield you from this shit. I stand athwart the tides of horror, hold my hands up, and yell “STOP” in the hopes that it will keep the waters from reaching you.

So you know what, fuckheads!? If I want to maintain the one tiny scrap of innocence I have left, I will. The official policy of AO3TagoftheDay is now that turtles, teenage, mutant, ninja, or otherwise, do not fuck. It never happens. They don’t fuck. They don’t fuck each other. They don’t fuck humans. They don’t fuck in real life and they don’t fuck in fiction. This tag is about two gay Renaissance painters holding each other close and kissing chastely under the Sistine chapel ceiling.

There. Glad we got that sorted out. Please return to your regularly scheduled programming.

@ao3tagoftheday you’ll never know their sacrifice.
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coolcatgroup: Look at those bneans……

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coolcatgroup:

Look at those bneans…… wow……
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memes-r-memes:Why do I find these so funny

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memes-r-memes:

Why do I find these so funny
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Photo

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Photo

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