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gravityeyelidsvia http://ift.tt/2sQccK5:
21st-century-flapper:
Unpopular opinion time: I think one of the reasons for all of this conflating “this makes me feel bad” with “this is bad” in fandom is because a lot of people haven’t learned how to deal with negative emotions. No one likes feeling discomfort, anxiety, anger or sadness, but the fact of the matter is that you will feel those emotions, and instead of trying to shield yourself from them and making sure you will never come across anything that makes you feel that way, why you should be doing is learning how to deal with these emotions.
I am not saying “just suck it up”. Repeat: I am not saying “suck it up, toughen up, don’t be a wuss”. But you can learn how to deal with these emotions so that they can’t harm you as much any more. It’s something I learned both from how I was raised and when I was in therapy for my social anxiety and bipolar. Being bipolar, I will never, ever be free of these emotions, no matter how much I try to avoid things that bring them on, because my brain can simply go “heeeey time to be depressed motherfucker” and dump them on me.
And guess what, practicing mindfulness and cognitive behavioral therapy has made my life so much better. I have learned how to reflect on my emotions, how to experience them without getting caught up, and how to make sure they don’t take control. Yes, this also works with triggers.
So maybe instead of yelling at others about how they should do fandom and what they can create and enjoy, take charge of your own life and try to work on how to make fandom more enjoyable for yourself. Blacklist and block libereally, populate your dash with blogs that post stuff you enjoy, and put “cognitive behavioral therapy” into google search and learn how to deal with negative emotions. It will improve not just your fandom life, but your life in general. Trust me.
(Your picture was not posted)
21st-century-flapper:
Unpopular opinion time: I think one of the reasons for all of this conflating “this makes me feel bad” with “this is bad” in fandom is because a lot of people haven’t learned how to deal with negative emotions. No one likes feeling discomfort, anxiety, anger or sadness, but the fact of the matter is that you will feel those emotions, and instead of trying to shield yourself from them and making sure you will never come across anything that makes you feel that way, why you should be doing is learning how to deal with these emotions.
I am not saying “just suck it up”. Repeat: I am not saying “suck it up, toughen up, don’t be a wuss”. But you can learn how to deal with these emotions so that they can’t harm you as much any more. It’s something I learned both from how I was raised and when I was in therapy for my social anxiety and bipolar. Being bipolar, I will never, ever be free of these emotions, no matter how much I try to avoid things that bring them on, because my brain can simply go “heeeey time to be depressed motherfucker” and dump them on me.
And guess what, practicing mindfulness and cognitive behavioral therapy has made my life so much better. I have learned how to reflect on my emotions, how to experience them without getting caught up, and how to make sure they don’t take control. Yes, this also works with triggers.
So maybe instead of yelling at others about how they should do fandom and what they can create and enjoy, take charge of your own life and try to work on how to make fandom more enjoyable for yourself. Blacklist and block libereally, populate your dash with blogs that post stuff you enjoy, and put “cognitive behavioral therapy” into google search and learn how to deal with negative emotions. It will improve not just your fandom life, but your life in general. Trust me.
(Your picture was not posted)
