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i’ve been playing sims 4 because my sleep schedule got backwards and i need to loop and there’s no better way for it to suddenly be five hours later than playing the sims
(i prefer sims 3 but sims 3 is more engrossing and i want to catch up on podcasts instead of creating an interesting sims narrative so sims 4 it is)
i made a new game because i wanted to see how many gens deep i could get, and i realized that without the seamless neighborhood you basically need to have as few people in your household as possible if you ever want to go anywhere, otherwise one sim will go to the museum and they’ll come home and everyone is asleep in the yard for some reason and all the appliances are broken
so i get my sim a girlfriend but then when she finally seals the deal, this girl changes into this before getting into bed
and THAT’S when i discover that she doesn’t have the custom gender settings to get my sim knocked up. but by this point i’m invested and i don’t want my girl to have spent all this time seducing a furry for nothing, so i cheat and edit her gender and my sim is finally pregnant. her furry hookup keeps calling at three in the morning but my sim doesn’t answer.
my pregnant sim finds a nasty stray dog outside and ends up adopting it at which point i discover that you can’t control dogs anymore. remember when you could control your pets? get your pet a job and whatnot? yeah, none of that. that might have been sims 2, actually. anyway now there’s a dog, whatever, maybe her future daughter will like poor Mister Mojo.
except THEN she has TWINS and i did not!! do anything!!! to influence twins!!!! i wanted one girl! my sim is now a single mom with twins and a dog living in a one bedroom on an artist’s salary.
i don’t give a shit about the son because i want this line to be matrilineal so i give him the ‘angelic’ trait in the hopes that this will let me ignore him more. it backfires immediately and he is now my sim’s favorite because he never throws tantrums, unlike his sister, who wants to learn everything but also never be taught. boy baby spends a lot of time with the dog while his sister screams.
not long after they grow up into kids, the dog up and dies. i probably should have seen this coming. death shows up to claim mojo, and everyone comes together to witness the claiming of his dog soul, and the heir to the family line brings her salad with her.
for like ten minutes everyone stood in the front hall wailing while death claimed this dog, and she just stood there eating her salad, watching her brother lose his shit because this dog raised him
after the dog dies i take a minute to deal with everyone’s grief and find a nice place for the urn or whatever, and do you know what i saw in the kitchen when i was done
????
i don’t know what she said to him but he left a little while later. also she’s mastered the violin. i don’t know where this family can even go from here. i feel like we peaked at gen 2.
hey julianne? quick question
what the fuck
i mean i guess your brother is happy but like… what did you say to death
what did you do
i don’t know what jackson did to anger the gnomes but the only time they stopped surrounding his bed was when he managed to get outside to walk mister mojo, at which point they blocked the only entrance to the house while his hunger bar was in the red so he couldn’t eat breakfast with his family and almost starved
his ghost dog did nothing to save him
incidentally did you know ghost dogs still need to be fed, bathed, walked, and have their poop scooped? there is literally no advantage to a ghost dog. also they got rid of the ability to paint portraits which is the most horseshit, how am i supposed to commemorate each generation of this family now.
oh no, arianna’s finally too old
… julianne
julianne wh
okay so julianne’s mom gets to finish her painting because she gave death a flower, which, okay, i get that, but what i don’t get is why after this she and death went downstairs to take selfies with jackson trying and failing to climb a wall in the background????
you could have taken selfies anywhere
jackson is literally the only person who does chores around this house, why is everyone determined to bully him
julianne
what are you even HOW DID YOU GET HIM TO DO YOUR ONE CHORE
oh my god arianna finished her painting and
jesus. no wonder julianne had to save her.
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