Feb. 3rd, 2019

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surprisebitch:

libations-of-blood-and-wine:

mer-squared:

clientsfromhell:

Me: “How can I help you today, ma'am?”

Client: “Is e-mail internet”?

Me: “I beg your pardon?”

Client: “Is e-mail on the internet? I have no internet, can I still read my e-mail?”

Me: “Well yes, you must be able to get online to view your e-mail.”

Client: “Oh, dear. I can’t see my e-mail.”

Me: “Well, let’s see. Can you open up Internet Explorer for me and tell me what you see?”

Client: “Open what?”

Me: “Your browser, can you open up your browser?”

Client: “My…my…?”

Me: “What you click on when you want to browse the internet?”

Client: “I don’t use anything, I just turn my computer on, and it’s there.”

Me: “Okay. Do you see the little blue ‘e’ icon on your desktop?”

Client: “You mean I have to start writing letters again?”

Me: “I’m…what, I’m sorry?”

Client: “I don’t have any pens at my desk. I just want my e-mail again.”

Me: “No, ma'am, your desktop, on your computer screen. Can you click on the little blue ‘e’ on your computer screen for me?”

Client: “Oh, this is too much work. I’m too upset. Just send me my e-mail. Can’t you send me my e-mail?”

Me: “We…okay, ma'am. Can you tell me what color the lights are on your router right now?”

Client: “My what?”

Me: “The little box with green or possibly a couple of red lights on it right now - it’s most likely near your computer?”

Client: “Lights and boxes, boxes and lights, just get my e-mail for me.

Me: “My test is showing that you should be able to get online right now. Can you tell me what you’re seeing on your computer screen?”

Client: “It’s been the same thing for the last two hours.”

Me: “An error message?”

Client: “No, just stars. It’s black and moving stars.”

Me: “…Do you see your mouse next to your keyboard?”

Client: “Yes.”

Me: “Move it for me.”

Client: “Move it?”

Me: “Yes. Move it.”

Client: “My e-mail!”

This post gave me a fucking ulcer.

You meet people like this at the library. People who have been coming in every day for YEARS to use the computers and monopolize your time with conversations like this, that seem to go out of their way to avoid listening to anything you try to teach them because they’d rather you just do it for them.

So one day, this tiny, frail little woman comes to the desk with a huge folder of papers under her arm. She says “I need to use one of the computers,” and I’m like “alright, I’ll set you up with a guest account.”

And then she says “I’ll also need you to show me how to use a computer. I’m 97 years old and I’ve never even touched one before, but I need to file my health information and they told me I needed to do it using this,” and she holds out a little scrap of paper with a url scrawled on it in a shaky hand.

And I’m just mentally like ‘oh no,’ but I say of course I can help her. So I sit her down and sign her in, and she stops me to ask basically what the mouse is, and I explain it, but I’m just thinking that this is going to take a million years. But I start doing a quick and dirty run down of the parts of the computer, the programs, the desktop, what a url is and what the Internet is, what a search engine is, what websites are, and so on.

She doesn’t interrupt or ask any questions or anything, and then I’m like ‘okay let’s go to this url’ and it’s an interactive, multi-page form that she needs to put all that info in her folder into and submit, and I’m just terrified as I’m explaining it that I’m going to spend all day with this woman.

But she’s just like “alright. I think I’ve got it.” And she must have had a secretary job back in the typewriter days, because she just *whips* through the first page of the form and submits and goes on to the next, and tells me she’ll find me if she needs me.

She came over once to tell me she needed an email address and wanted to know how to set one up - I told her about her options and she picked Gmail and went back to the computer and set it up all by herself, and got her information all filed properly in about an hour and a half – and she’d NEVER used a computer before in her LIFE.

When she was done, she came over to ask me how to turn it off and I showed her and she thanked me for being so patient, and I told her quite honestly that I’d NEVER seen a novice adult pick up using a computer so fast.

And she said “oh, but it’s so simple! And so useful! My grandkids made it sound so difficult, but I’m going to pick up my own computer tomorrow!”

And I think she must have, because I never saw her in the library again.

Anyway I hope I’m that quick when I’m 97.

^ thank you for sharing this very positive experience because the experience from OP really gave me a headache. it was nice to end on a positive note.. gives hope
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obsessionisaperfume:

codenamecesare:

catsandquilts:

w1tchmom:

jennyredford:

w1tchmom:

It’s INSANE to me how controversial romance novels are. Romance novels. Like, being openly a fan of them immediately opens you up to people constantly coming at you like “but don’t you think it’s ~limiting- and ~juvenile~ to have a genre of books with happy endings for women?”

Like.

No?

Why is it such a big deal to want to read stories where women have sex and then don’t die at the end? Jesus Christ.

Why is the concept of female characters being happy seen as less creative than female characters suffering? (Trust me, creating a world where women win in the end takes a lot more creativity and artistic vision lmfao)

Anyway, literary bros will pry my romance novels with their happy endings from my cold dead fingers.

Or die in the very beginning of the book. But no one calls out James Patterson for writing another formulaic thriller in which a woman is horrifically killed after getting laid and then some man solves her murder. Every. Damn. Time.

But hey, those romance novels where women get happy endings are so limiting, eh?

Real talk: realizing how common it is for female characters to be punished for on-the-page sex with death was a big part of my embracing the romance genre. Once I noticed it I couldn’t unnotice it. It’s everywhere. A woman having sex in literature or non-romance genre fiction is the literary equivalent of a red shirt on Star Trek.

It’s not just the sex thing, though that’s a key element. It’s that, in romance novels, the heroine gets to be cared for the way she normally would care for everyone else. It’s wish fulfillment in that her romantic partner will do emotional labor, spend a great deal of time thinking about her, or sacrifice his desires or fortune or reputation to be with her, or spend days nursing her back to health, or risking his life to save hers. In romance novels, you’ll find men taking care of children, talking about their feelings, putting effort into their appearance—even if they are adorably bad at it. Watch how many romance novel protagonists fall in love with a man who happens to be rich or handsome, but she didn’t give in until his behavior changed and he starts mentoring her, or providing for her, or being gentle toward her, nourishing her, listening to her, appreciating her… I suspect romance novels are looked down upon not for being juvenile formulaic “beach reads” but because they paint a fantasy world that leaves men feeling uncomfortable or even emasculated. But whether you’re a Midwest housewife or a big city CEO, women who read romance novels just want to read about men loving women the way women are expected love everyone else—with a nurturing and protective form of unswerving loyalty. Great sex they don’t have to die for is also a huge bonus, but the *romance* part of the novel is genuinely more about the woman being appreciated (for her beauty or spunk or intelligence at first, and then for all of her by the end).

“women who read romance novels just want to read about men loving women the way women are expected to love everyone else—with a nurturing and protective form of unswerving loyalty.”

THANK YOU.
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officialyasen:

officialyasen:

Where’s that 4chan post of pirate finding some gun

Found it
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imaginarycircus:

Back when I was a youth I got a job busing tables at a Swiss restaurant in CT. They had one of those giant riccola TV ad horns on the wall and all these alarmingly large cow bells. They rang them for people’s birthdays and celebrations. Famous people who had houses in CT came for dinner. This is where I dropped a spoon on Henry Kissinger’s foot and had to crumb the table when Mia Farrow and Woody Allen where having a quiet argument. There was a game show host who used to come in, but I can’t remember which one.

The owner and chef was from Geneva. I was a vegetarian (as I was for most of my first 30 years on the planet) so I couldn’t eat anything on the menu. On Sundays we all worked a double shift and they fed the staff prime rib or whatever, but I’d get a Toblerone sundae. They had ginormous toblerones in the kitchen. Like blunt force trauma Toblerones. Not the sort of largish novelty kind you can get in airports–but enormous ones that were kilos and kilos of Toblerone. They were longer than a human arm and the triangles were huge.

They made a simple ganache kind of sauce with it–literally melt the chocolate with some cream. You got a gravy boat full of it if you ordered it off the menu. It was a delight. Sometimes I make them at home and it only takes maybe a minute or two. Break up a normal size Toblerone bar into the little triangle pieces. Melt along with 2-3 TBS of heavy cream in a microwave or on the stove. You can add more cream to get the pouring consistency you want, but you can’t take the cream out. nb: if you add cold cream to the sauce it may stir right in or you may need to return it to heat for 10 seconds. You can do it on the stove on low or in a microwave safe bowl or measuring cup (but stir every 20 - 30 seconds. It’ll melt fast either way.) If you want to go completely over the top? Make or acquire some crisp French meringue bowls. Fill with ice cream. Dump warm Toblerone sauce on it. Add whipped cream if you like. Achieve Nirvana.
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notkatniss:

notkatniss:

When I met maggie the bookstore for time only lets you have your name be personalized in the book and not anything additional and the bookstore woman comes around and and writes your name on a post it note so it’s easy and quick when you go up to her and so it was my turn to get signed and miss stiefvater sees my post it and goes to put the sharpie on the page to write my name and I go “WAIT” and she looks at me and I go “if I say my name is yee haw… will you write yee haw in my book” and she goes “are you going to tattoo this on a weird part of your body?” and David leviathan goes “what if she wants to tattoo to a non weird part of her body?” And So!!! I have raven boys with “for Alyssa” and the raven king with just “YEE HAW” which feels good and organic
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taleoftheicecat:

Details of Lady Lilith, Dante Gabriel Rossetti, 1866–1868.
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timemachineyeah:

I hate that so many places will automatically convert :P into 

like what is that. That’s not what I wanted to convey at all. 

:P means

.

LG is the only company that gets it at all 

Thank you for your service, LG. You alone understand. My apologies to anyone using your service who tries to sent this to anyone using any of the other services.
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What White, Western Audiences Don't Understand About Marie Kondo's 'Tidying Up':
lookskindadeadinside:

xmagnet-o:

meggannn:

Just thought this was an interesting article that articulated my frustrations to some of the backlash against Marie Kondo.

Even though Kondo delivers her dictates in the gentlest ways possible (I watched her show with the subtitles on; they kept saying she cooed), the message was clear to me: White people are comfortable when a woman of color takes on a stereotypical service role, but they are uncomfortable when a woman of color deigns to upend our unspoken societal rules. Even if she gets a bunch of men, who’ve left all the emotional labor of managing the daily stuff of living to their wives, to actually pitch in — even if people have padded too much into their lives and she helps them enjoy what they have again — it’s not enough. Unconsciously or consciously, Kondo had struck a nerve.

My dad used to say, “The Japanese do everything backward.” Even when I was little, the phrasing bugged me, though I couldn’t articulate why. Now I know. It meant that the Japanese were the wrong ones, the “other.” Westerners were at the center of his universe, just as Western values are at the center of the memes disparaging the KonMari method. In effect, online criticism sounds like my father’s: The Japanese are backward. A woman of color could not possibly help white people live better lives, because that might mean she is better.

It’s OK to say, “Hey, I like my clutter. It causes me no anxiety, so I’ll pass on Marie Kondo’s suggestions.” And it’s true that people with compulsive hoarding tendencies may be unable to undertake her style of cleaning without guided help. Her method is not for everyone. But to wholesale dismiss her suggestions with xenophobic language and unadulterated Western hubris is to dismiss an entire ancient cultural tradition that has harmed exactly no one. 

This
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yamino:

shoefaced-gemini:

Y'all THIS is the official citrus scale. Don’t be tagging adult content as oranges when you mean grapefruit. Do it right or don’t do it at all, my dudes.

Edit: Make sure you still tag it as fanfiction, and if it’s above a lime, tag as #nsfs or #nsfsw as well because those are the preexisting adult tags. Make it filterable.

Dial up kids will remember. I never thought we’d be bringing this back in the year of our Lord 2019 lol
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despazito:

*old man voice* back in my day tik tok was a ke$ha song
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harmlesslyobsessed:

softypyro:
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pufferpastries:

I found this gem on facebook, it was a public post 😂
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manic:

sumetal:

manic:

sumetal:

Mutuals

Hold out your hands

ok
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Photo

Feb. 3rd, 2019 03:44 am
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morgana0anagrom:

I painted Raven Cycle characters by Maggie Stiefvater for Shelflove crate 

hope you guys will like it 

Ronan

Adam

Noah

Gansay

Blue
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retrogamingblog:

Geometric Eeveelutions made by Katie Nippell

Prints available here
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interstellartooru:

i’m so in love with domestic sweetness.

cooking dinner with the one you love while they wrap their arms around you. taking quick kiss breaks in between folding fresh laundry. washing each other’s hair in the shower. giggling and rolling around in the fresh sheets you both just finished putting on. dusting while showing off your latest dance moves and having your sweetheart show off their vocals.

it’s so comforting to have someone that you just enjoy making a home with. because chores done with someone you love isn’t such a chore after all.
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matchboxskeletons:

Sometimes

I see all the posts for people in love

And it isn’t like there is anything bad or wrong about them….

But I notice how they’re all filled with sentences talking about that person (generally singular) being your everything and vise versa.

Super sweet stuff, it just makes me feel…. wrong

And I can’t be the only one

Because that’s not what I want from my love. That isn’t what I want for my life.

I want to see being complete individuals together romanticized.

I want to see “MOOD” posts about how wonderful it is to feel free and unafraid of dissolving into someone else’s life while in a relationship.

I want “being able to go entire days without talking and still be reassured of their love and interest” to be a couples goal.

And I want to see couples supporting each other, even if it means they sometimes have to be long-distance for each to meet their own goals or share more of the other person/people or be a little out of the loop at times. The evolution of a relationship can be so beautiful, even or especially if it does not follow the beaten path.

I want to stop romanticizing possession, foremost.

See, there is nothing wrong with wanting one person to be a focal point in your life for the rest of your life, as long as it’s done in a healthy way (which should be a rule for everything else in life too).

I just think we should be encouraging people with vastly different romantic mindsets to come out of the woodwork as well!

People who romanticize their careers over romantic love for a person…

Or who want several casual people in their romantic lives…

Or whose stomachs churn when they think of ever having someone consider them “theirs”…

….should be just as valid participating in feeling gooey romantic and happy disgusting about their choices to have different life goals! And if anyone thinks they’re the only one feeling this way, you have all my consent to message me! I’m willing to bet our community is bigger than we think.

Okay, now I’m done bellowing from the peanut gallery!

Happy scrolling 🌹🐝
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terrapincentury:

dogy
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merle: hey taako i burned a hole in one of your pots 

taako, still on a post-date high: hey that’s fine my man these things happen we all make mistakes no worries don’t even sweat

magnus: ah ha! taako went on a date! i knew it!

taako: what? date? me? i’ve never even heard of boys. and how do i know, frankly, that you aren’t sleeping with kravitz, huh? maybe you’re trying to throw me off

magnus: oh my god it’s kravitz?

taako: shit
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bubble-snowflakes:

cr
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foxpost-generator:

everythingfoxes:

it fucken WIMDY
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mezstreep:

Feb. 3rd, 2019 07:03 pm
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mezstreep:
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zazzlepoetry:

soup-medic:

zazzlepoetry:

soup-medic:

zazzlepoetry:

buy here

okay but PSA about rabies:
not all rabies victims will be foaming at the mouth.rabies isn't gonna be super obvious to those who don't know what to look forthere is only one documented case of someone recovering from rabies
TELL TALE SYMPTOMS:

cat does not act aggressive but attempts to bite with no warningcat is off balance and falling over oftencat is spinning in circles for no reason and /or has no sense of directionincreased vocalizationparalysisand seizures

buy here

i just wante d people to b safe cus i love and care about people and you mock me like this

buy here
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insomniac-arrest:

tumblr: *turns 12*

*bans porn*

*makes it’s site literally 3 shades darker*

mmm, it seems tumblr is going through it’s pre-teen catholic goth phase
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klubbhead:

Feb. 3rd, 2019 08:54 pm
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klubbhead:
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jadelyn:

caucasianscriptures:

Come back with a warrant

I read this out to Ozz and he said his go-to is “No thanks, I got it.”
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Feb. 3rd, 2019 09:04 pm
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starlightomatic:

If you only speak against racism and antisemitism when it’s perpetuated by your political opponents and not when it’s perpetuated by your political allies, you don’t actually oppose racism and antisemitism
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niktav:

robertogreco:

“The schoolgirl thrash metal band smashing stereotypes in Indonesia” (photos by Rony Zakaria)

they’re called Voice of Baceprot if anyone was wondering
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bunjywunjy:

olderboy-aesthethic:

the speed limit for ghosts is also 25
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turnipfritters:

i notice that tumblr dot com has their black history month banner up, and that’s nice, but i feel like any even more fun black history month activity would be deleting all the white supremacist blogs
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glompcat:

There is a post going around about flipping the script on calling grown women girls by calling grown men boys.

So here is a reminder that it isn’t at all ok for a white person to call a grown black man a boy.
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First day of new job tomorrow!!!!!
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the-movemnt:

Celebrate the facts. Happy Black History Month! 

follow @the-movemnt
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fantasticandfemale:

Apartment #410 is Emily Goldfinch. Curly black hair, always smiling, a little chatty for my taste.
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confused-robot-cat:

catchymemes:

The full story:

There is an Irish restaurant chain called Supermacs that has opnened around 100 stores in Ireland since 1978. 

Recently, McDonald’s decided that this small restaurant chain that hasn’t even made it out of Ireland needed to be taught a lesson, and sued them on the basis that “Supermacs” infringes on the “Big Mac” brand name. Which is, of course, absolutely ridiculous.

McDonald’s ended up losing the case, because of course they did, they didn’t have a case to begin with. As a result, McDonald’s lost the rights to the term “Big Mac” across the entire European Union.

Which is why Burger King gets to do this with no legal repercussions. 
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badass-magizoologist:

thnks-fr-th-fndms:

Can we have another (still unconnected) circle that reads “things I’m actually doing”

There you go friend
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