gravityeyelids | Dec. 13th, 2018

Dec. 13th, 2018

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yeahiwasintheshit:

ha. bye bitch
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curiooftheheart:

curlicuecal:

solluxisms:

ichigokage:

iron-sunrise:

verhakuma:

iron-sunrise:

Did y'all see the rules Facebook rolled out? If y'all thought Tumblr was going Puritanical….wheeeew

Wait no what’s the tea

Really wish Christianity would stop policing everyone. It’s not just about you.

Here’s the exact wording, if anyone wants to check it out for themselves: https://www.facebook.com/communitystandards/sexual_solicitation

wwwwwwow

Facebook bans saying “i’m horny” on main

Facebook bans being openly gay and acts like it’s fighting trafficking.
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requiem-on-water:

M e r m a i d i n n e t w o r k s by Shirø Igarashi
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optimysticals:

charlesdances:

Charles Dance fanboying about Dame Judi Dench and Dame Maggie Smith

Queens of Awesome
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higgzorz:

bidoof:

how do people who don’t use adblock get anything done

seeing the hot russian girls who want to get to know me fills me with confidence and a drive i would not have otherwise
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corihasastory:

shaycode:

ablogforyoungmommys:

weareallweirdhumans:

positivity-roses:

Making fun of girls who dream of being a wife and stay-at-home-mom actually doesn’t make you progressive or feminist or cool, it just makes you a person who shits on someone else’s dream, a.k.a an asshole

Whenever someone says that I say “Okay, whatever floats your boat, I guess” and then I think “Why would she want that? Isn’t it boring to just sit around all day and do nothing?”

Moms don’t “sit around all day and do nothing” - they have a incredibly important 24/7 job: raising little human beings. Don’t devalue that by calling it “nothing”.

Man, my mom cooked, cleaned, paid the bills, went grocery shopping, did my hair every morning before school and every night (which, as a white woman with no prior experience of doing black hair, especially on a tender-headed child, is no easy feat). She helped with my homework, consoled me after a bad day, frequently volunteered at the school. She even picked my anxious, crying ass up from kindergarten early nearly every day for the first semester and would lie down with me every night when I was a child until I fell asleep (and that usually took several hours). That’s not even scratching the surface of all the things she’s done for me and my siblings. She was always the first person up and the last person to go to bed. Nothing about what she did, and continues to do to a lesser degree, is easy.

Domestic work is constantly undervalued even though every family depends on it. My grandmother on my mom’s side would go hungry just so her kids could eat - that is not nothing.

Also, if you would commend a man for being a stay at home dad and doing exactly what women have been doing for centuries, don’t pretend you care about women’s labor.
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jessicahuangs:

The women of Crazy Rich Asians for Entertainment Weekly’s 2018 Entertainers of the Year
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vraik:

lierdumoa:

morthils:

stillisee:

aro-as-in-straight-as-a:

thegoodjanet:

izzy-almighty:

hot take: jake peralta is bi and john mulaney plays his ex boyfriend from high school in season six of brooklyn nine-nine

john mulaney plays a rockin’ twink

John Mulaney: *to himself* What would Leonard Bernstein do?

Captain Holt: *to Jake, quietly* I support your and Amy’s relationship with my whole heart but why on earth would you give up a man like that

I don’t even go here (just like… my toes) and I want this, specifically with all these tages from @bosstoaster

#The episode would be Amy getting jealous not of John and Jake but that he has so many interests in common with Holt#So she spends the whole time trying to win back the Captain#Meanwhile Rosa is on a warpath at Jake#Because she told HIM about her sexuality and stuff and had EMOTIONS#And he didn’t tell HER#How DARE he

“look, it’s not like i hid anything, it just never came up!”

“You called yourself out for ‘straighsplaining’“

the whole bi thing goes completely over charles’ head and he keeps getting really aggro like “oh you and jake were real close huh?? too bad, sucker jake is MY best friend!”

everybody else is like “charles no”

at the end john mulaney turns out to be the embezzler they’ve been looking for

The only way Jake Overshare Peralta, Jake TMI Peralta, Jake Heart-On-His-Sleeve Peralta would fail to bring up the fact that he is bi, is if he himself were oblivious to the fact.

Come on @morthils this isn’t Gina Linetti we’re talking about. Stay in character.

The only way Jake would have had a high school boyfriend and not told Amy and Holt is if Jake himself did not realize that this dude was his boyfriend.

He would describe the relationship to Amy and she’d be like, “So you guys were dating” and he’d be like “It wasn’t like that that” and she’d be like:

:|

and Jake would be like, OH MY GOD. I HAD A BOYFRIEND IN HIGH SCHOOL. WHY DID NOBODY TELL ME THIS.

Lots of “practice kissing” was involved.

Jake’s mom is absolutely That Overly Supportive Parent with the bumper sticker and the flag who never actually like, talks to her son about it.

“I just thought she was really liberal!”
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apricops:

on Tumblr you can just pile up some dirt wherever you want and someone will decide it’s a hill to die on
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sexhaver:

avantgardejazz:

what did frosty the snowman do other than come to life, do a little dance, then die

isn’t that all anyone ever does, really
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stylish-homes:

This bathroom at the Four Seasons, St. Petersburg

via reddit
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yesterdaysprint:

Calgary Herald, Alberta, September 8, 1948
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lizzey:

amanda-jess27:

Grading my 3rd graders papers and I see this 😭

the mood for 2019
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surprisedentistry:

surprisedentistry:

“i can leave the door open while i’m cleaning my bathroom,” i reasoned to myself. “surely my beloved cat, Meatball, isn’t dumb enough to try and jump into an open toilet full of Clorox”

i caught this tiny-little fool MID-FUCKING-AIR. i watched him start leaping and time literally slowed down. and then he had the audacity, the NERVE, to beep indignantly at me for ruining his plans
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dragon-in-a-fez:

jenniferr-jareau:

I don’t even know where to begin with this

which Shakespeare play is this
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lyriumbrownies:

lyriumbrownies:

my favourite part of Orwell’s writing is when he described anime glasses flashing in 1945
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nbnonsense:

tenderlesbian:

me, a femme, standing outside on a cold night trying to get attention from butches: oh noo :( i am FREEZING…. i left my jacket at home and the coldness is too much to bare … what EVER will i do ….

Me, a butch, standing outside on a cold night with a rack full of jackets: oh NO, I have so many jackets! I hope there aren’t any femmes out here FREEZING without JACKETS on
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thefingerfuckingfemalefury:

naniyou:

naniyou:

forthegothicheroine:

sylvysparrow:

cindehella:

lord-kitschener:

arealliveghost:

stillvisions:

maybenotboring:

and at no point has anyone thought “maybe we should not build a giant flammable goat this year”

They tried fireproofing. And armed guards. And fences, and cameras… Sadly the wikipedia page has been cut down by super srs folks to remove all the awesome Keystone cops tales of the goat’s history (emphasis added by me)

1966 Stig Gavlén came up with the idea of a giant goat made out of straw. But it turned out that Gavlén organisation did not have enough funding for the goat. Then Harry Ström, who at that time was the chairman of the Södra Kungsgatan Ideella Förening (a non-profit society), decided to pay the whole cost for the goat out of his own pocket. The goat stood until midnight of New Year’s Eve, when it went up in flames. The perpetrator, who was from Hofors,Gästrikland, was found and convicted of vandalism. The first goat was insured and Ström got all his money back.

1967 Nothing happened.

1968 The goat survived. A fence was built around the goat. Previously it was popular for children to play hide-and-seek inside and around the goat. There was also a rumor that one night a couple had sex inside the goat. In subsequent years the inside of the goat was protected by a chicken-wire net.

1969 The goat was burnt down on New Year’s Eve.

1970 The goat was burnt down only six hours after it was assembled. Two very drunk teenagers were connected with the crime. With help from several financial contributors the goat was reassembled out of lake reed.

1971 The Southern Merchants got tired of their goats being burned and stopped building the goat. The Natural Science Club (Naturvetenskapliga Föreningen:NF) from the School of Vasa (Vasaskolan) took over.

1972 The goat collapsed because of sabotage.

1973 N/A

1974 Burnt.

1975 N/A

1976 Hit by a car.

1977 N/A

1978 Again, the goat was kicked to pieces.

1979 The goat was burnt even before it was erected. A new one was built and fireproofed. It was destroyed and broken into pieces.

1980 Burnt down on Christmas Eve.

1981 Nothing happened.

1982 Burnt down on Lucia (13 December).

1983 The legs were destroyed.

1984 Burnt down on 12 December, the night before Lucia.

1985 The 12.5 metre (41 ft) tall goat of the Natural Science Club was featured in the Guinness Book of Records for the first time. Even though the goat was enclosed by a 2 metres (6.6 ft) high metal fence, guarded by Securitas and even soldiers from the Gävle I 14 Infantry Regiment, it was burnt down in January.

1986 The merchants of Gävle decided they were willing to build the goat once again. From 1986 on two goats were built, the Southern Merchants’ and the School of Vasa’s. The big goat burnt down the night before Christmas Eve.

1987 A heavily fireproofed goat was built. It got burnt down a week before Christmas.[21]

1988 Nothing happened to the goat, but gamblers were for the first time able to gamble on the fate of the goat with English bookmakers.

1989 Again, the goat burnt down before it was assembled. Financial contributions from the public were raised to rebuild a goat that was burnt down in January. In March 1990 another goat was built, this time for the shooting of a Swedish motion picture called Black Jack.

1990 Nothing happened. The goat was guarded by many volunteers.

1991 The goat was joined by an advertising sled, that turned out to be illegally built. On the morning of Christmas Eve the goat was burnt down. It was later rebuilt to be taken to Stockholm as a part of a protest campaign against the closing of the I 14 Infantry Regiment.

1992 The goat was burnt down eight days after it was built. The Natural Science Club’s goat burnt down the same night. The Southern Merchants’ goat was rebuilt, but burned down on 20 December. The perpetrator of the three attacks was caught and sent to jail. The Goat Committee was founded in 1992.

1993 Once more the goat was featured in the Guinness Book of Records, the School of Vasa’s goat measured 14.9 metres (49 ft). The goat was guarded by taxis and the Swedish Home Guard. Nothing happened.

1994 Nothing happened. The goat followed the Swedish national hockey team to Italy for the World Championship in hockey.

1995 A Norwegian was arrested for attempting to burn down the goat. Burnt down on the morning of Christmas Day. Rebuilt to be standing before the 550th anniversary of Gävle county.

1996 The first time the goat was guarded by webcams, nothing happened.

1997 Damaged by fireworks. The Natural Science Club’s goat was attacked too, but survived with minor damage.

1998 Burnt down on 11 December, even though there was a major blizzard. Was rebuilt.

1999 Burnt down only a couple of hours after it was erected. Rebuilt again before Lucia. The Natural Science Club’s goat was burnt down as well.

2000 Burnt down a couple of days before New Year’s Eve. The Natural Science Club’s goat got tossed in the Gävle river.

2001 Goat set on fire on 23 December by Lawrence Jones, a 51-year-old visitor from Cleveland, Ohio, who spent 18 days in jail and was subsequently convicted and ordered to pay 100,000 Swedish kronor in damages. The court confiscated Jones’s cigarette lighter with the argument that he clearly was not able to handle it. Jones stated in court that he was no “goat burner”, and believed that he was taking part in a completely legal goat-burning tradition. After Jones was released from jail he went straight back to the US without paying his fine. As of 2006 it was still unpaid. The Natural Science Club’s goat was also burnt down.

2002 A 22 year old from Stockholm tried to set the Southern Merchants’ goat on fire, but failed, the goat receiving only minor damage. On Lucia the goat was guarded by Swedish radio and TV personality Gert Fylking.

2003 Burnt down on 12 December.

2004 Burnt 21 December, only three days before Christmas Eve. The fire brigade quickly arrived on the scene, but the goat could not be saved. No new goat was built.

2005 Burnt by unknown vandals reportedly dressed as Santa and the gingerbread man, by shooting a flaming arrow at the goat at 21:00 on 3 December. Reconstructed on 5 December. The hunt for the arsonist responsible for the goat-burning in 2005 was featured on the weekly Swedish live broadcast TV3’s “Most Wanted“ (”Efterlyst”) on 8 December.

2006 On the night of 15 December at 03:00, someone tried to set fire to the goat by dousing the right front leg in petrol (gasoline). The red ribbon on that leg was slightly burned and fell off. The lower part of the right leg was scorched, but the rest of the goat failed to light. The leg was repaired that morning. The Natural Science Club’s goat was burned at about 00:40 on 20 December; the vandals were not seen and got away. On the night of 25 December, a drunken man managed to climb up on the goat. Before the police arrived on the scene the man climbed down and disappeared. He did not try to set fire to the goat. The Southern Merchants’ goat survived New Year’s Eve and was taken down on 2 January. It is now stored in a secret location.

2007 The Natural Science Club’s goat was toppled on 13 December and was burned on the night of 24 December. The Southern Merchants’ goat survived.

2008 10,000 people turned out for the inauguration of one of the goats. No back-up goat was built to replace the main goat should the worst happen, nor was the goat treated with flame repellent (Anna Östman, spokesperson of the Goat-committee said the repellent made it look ugly in the previous years, like a brown terrier). On 16 December the Natural Science Club’s Goat was vandalised and later removed. On 26 December there was an attempt to burn down the Southern Merchants’ Goat but patriotic passers-by managed to extinguish the fire. The following day the goat finally succumbed to the flames ignited by an unknown assailant at 03:50 CET.

2009 A person attempted to set the Southern Merchants’ goat on fire the night of 7 December. An unsuccessful attempt was made to throw the Natural Science Club’s goat into the river the weekend of 11 December. The culprit then tried, again without success, to set the goat on fire. Someone stole the Natural Science Club’s goat utilizing a truck the night of 14 December.[36] On the night of 23 December before 04:00 the South Merchant goat was set on fire and was burned to the frame, even though it had a thick layer of snow on its back.[37] The goat had two online webcams which were put out of service by aDoS attack, instigated by computer hackers just before the burning.[38]

2010 On the night of 2 December, arsonists made an unsuccessful attempt to burn the Natural Science Club’s goat.[39] On 17 December, a Swedish news site reported that one of the guards tasked with protecting the Southern Merchants’ goat had been offered payment to leave his post so that the goat could be stolen via helicopter and transported to Stockholm. Both goats survived and were dismantled and returned to storage in early January 2011.

2011 The inauguration of the goat took place on 27 November. The fire-fighters of Gävle sprayed the goat with water to create a coating of ice in the hope of protecting it from arson. The goat was burnt down in the early morning of 2 December.

2012 The inauguration of the goat took place on 2 December. It was burnt just ten days later in the hours before midnight of 12 December, one day before Lucia.

2013 As in 2006 and 2007, the straw used to build the goat has been soaked in anti-flammable liquid to prevent it from burning in the event of an arson attack. The inauguration ceremony took place on 1 December. But despite the anti-flammable liquids the goat was burnt down on the early morning of December 21.

Any history of plots involving a DDoS attack on the security cameras, a plot to steal it with a helicopter and flaming arrows shot by people dressed as Santa and the Gingerbread man is just plain hilarious in my book.

I’m laughing so much about this goat. obviously if you build something big enough people are going to have sex in it and burn it down. obviously

what the fuck is going on in sweden

how will the saga continue this year

fascinating

The saga of the goat is the best part of the season.

For those curious about 2015′s goat:

It’s that time of year again

2016: Burned within hours of being built

2017: Survived

2018: Nothing yet…

WILL THE GOAT LIVE THIS YEAR
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ushas42:

“Bottom line: There are no shortage of sites on the internet that feature adult content.”

This? In particular? Pisses me off. I hate it.

I hate the implication that all porn is interchangeable and devoid of cultural value, so it’s no big deal when a decade’s worth of creative endeavor produced by a vibrant subculture is destroyed, because, whatever, it’s just dirty pictures.

I hate the disingenuous inability to see a distinction between a website that is about porn only, and a website that allows people to blog about all of their interests and aspects of their lives including sex and porn because those are normal parts of the human experience.

It’s the most tone-deaf bullshit.
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autasticanna:

I think a lot about how kids think they don’t like learning and about how wrong they are about it.

Kids love learning. They’re biologically hardwired to love learning. They just think they hate it because half of what gets taught in schools is irrelevant to real life and not hands-on activities.

Kids might say they hate school and learning. But like ask any kid if they want to be shown how to make fire turn green. Ask any kid if they know about real life Dracula. Ask any kid if they want to hear about how strong a tiger is. They’ll want to learn about it.

When I was in third grade, my entire class started this weird black market inside our desks where everybody sold different things and we used broken pencil leads as currency. I sold pet erasers I think, they were just erasers with faces drawn on them. Obviously we got in trouble and weren’t allowed to do it anymore, but imagine if our teacher had stopped our boring curriculum to teach us about economics through the lens of the weird businesses we had created? It would have been amazing. We would have loved it.

Kids don’t hate learning. School is just bad.
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positive-memes:

A wholesome reminder from my professor to his students about the upcoming stressful finals.
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asofterfan:

randomsplashes:

this tweet gets me

mE
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surprisebitch:

whitepeopletwitter:

When one of your customers spanks your ass

i thought it was about working in retail omg
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avpdsnail:

so much is going on!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! it’s too much!!!!!!!!!!!!! i just want to sleep in the forest for 190 years!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i’m tired leave me alone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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mirandaputsherbestbuttforward:

jokelesbian:

shout out to this skyrim npc who wants to go on Pegging Adventures with me

@lesbiansforboromir
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oldearthmapping:

kaity–did:

kaity–did:

kaity–did:

Okay in my house we have a strange tradition. My mother builds this beautiful Christmas village.

It wraps all around our house through the rooms and under the trees and it’s wonderful.

Every year she hides the Christmas Vampire

This started when I was a very small got child and spread to all of my friends, including my best friend from elementary school who I just so happened to grow up and marry. Now that we have grown up and moved nearly 600 miles away we still always go home for a week at Christmas for multiple reasons, including the Christmas Vampire.

Needless to say we still partake and things have gotten heated.

Stay tuned for the epic conclusion and to see my husband and father in Lin-Manuel Miranda’s sooty costume when I find the Christmas Vampire First!

Happy Haunting!

Dad has no fricken clue how to trash talk and I don’t trust him in the slightest.

The saga continues. Mom hasnt finished the village yet and it’s starting to get to her….

Hahahaha, I mean I love this on multiple levels. But what really threw it over the top was the mom’s anxiety over the world-building and city design being right. I feel you vampire-hiding mom, I feel you.
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avatarmerida:

someone: that’ll cost you an arm and a leg

me:
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seriousjones:

this is a matter of opinion
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Any mutuals want to be Facebook friends/steam friends, message me! Also, I have a Pillowfort account under the same username. Anyone feel free to add me!
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dare-i-say-asexual:

dare-i-say-asexual:

dare-i-say-asexual:

i just walked past the apartment beneath mine and through an open window i could hear my downstairs neighbor crying faintly while the song jolene played in the background and im just like… bitch are you okay…?

I actually ended up going back downstairs to check on her and brought some leftover cookies I baked this afternoon. she’s very sweet and going through a Breakup Mood™️ after being cheated on. she’s coming over to my gf and I’s annual bad movie night on Friday and she even let me pet her cat named Clarence

my gf thinks it’s funny but very fitting that our downstairs neighbor was able to summon a concerned lesbian just by playing jolene while crying about being done dirty by a man
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