gravityeyelids | Dec. 9th, 2018

Dec. 9th, 2018

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jahminican:

Praying for the woman I’ll be in 5+yrs I hope she’s happy, and loved, living life unapologetically, doing what she loves.
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butch-babe:

socialnetworklesbian:

also yeah the best feature tumblr has (or lacks, i guess) is the inability to see other people’s follower count. not knowing how many followers anyone has makes this site more fun it’s easier to pretend we’re all just like, hanging out in a cave together.

yeah, it takes out the false value we assign to people based on how many followers they have. like on other sites we subconsciously put a price on people based on their follower count, and it majorly effects how we interact
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self-conscious-fander:

house-on-treefire:

astudyingreer:

aroace-shitposter:

aroace-shitposter:

aroace-shitposter:

aroace-shitposter:

aroace-shitposter:

Mods are asleep post forbidden tits

Huh

Huh

Huh

Hhhhhhh

omg

huh

It’s what they deserve
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partywithponies:

censorbotoffical:

partywithponies:

Me, refusing to leave tumblr: sir, this is my emotional support hellsite

beepboop. censorbot approved

“Me, refusing to leave: sir, this is my emotional hell” is a funnier text post than my original one, good job censorbot.
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linguini17:

shock:

love being trusted with “you cant tell anyone this” conversations and nodding a lot and forgetting everything they told me like god intended and going down as a trustworthy individual while doing literally zero work of ill or good

Amnesic neutral
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thefingerfuckingfemalefury:

birdonabird:

avatar-14:

tastefullyoffensive:

(via lowghen)

MAKE HIM REGRET

*spec prep*

BEING BORN

*spec prep*

So my husband tells a story about a guy he worked with at his first job. They’d regularly go to a Thai restaurant near their office - one of those really legit places where grandma is the chef. So the guy says one day to their server, looks this girl dead in the eye, and says “You can’t make it hot enough.”

Server gives him this look like “your funeral” and takes the order to the kitchen. GRANDMA COMES OUT AND LOOKS AT THIS POOR WHITE BOY, shakes her head, and goes back in the kitchen.

When the dish comes out, it’s a solid mass of just RED. Dudes at the table are dying just sitting near it. This guy tries his damnedest, gets about five bites in, and can’t do it. Mr You-cant-make-it-hot-enough was fucking obliterated by Chef Grandma.

And to add insult to injury, they replaced the dish for him, and GRANDMA BRINGS IT OUT, gives him a look and shakes her head.

I think there’s a reasonable chance this was his receipt.

HE BROUGHT IT ON HIMSELF BY TALKING SHIT ABOUT THEIR PAD THAI
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as a nonbinary person I shall only be posting my left titty which is my boy titty, and not the right one which is the horrid unclean girl titty, this is as tumblr has decreed

none binary with left titty
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bigwordsandsharpedges:

salty-blue-mage:

ahdok:

papa-manatee:

presidentark:

papa-manatee:

what order are you even supposed to read this in?

I don’t fucking know my man

The answer to your question is actually “you’re not” - this is only 1/3 of the whole sign, and you need all of it to be able to read it sensibly.

But, before you start thinking “oh well, I guess that’s not so bad then” - Here is the entire thing, with a handy guide to show you how to read it.
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musterni-illustrates:

me gazing out into the ocean: sure is some scary soup
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agayworthfightingfor:

shrineart:

ziamdynasty:

bittyblueeyes:

sherlock-hannibal:

Which do you prefer?

I prefer MasterChef Junior:

a wholesome post thank u

What’s best is I love all three portrayals, basically anything with this man in it he’s so precious.

UK Gordon Ramsay is dealing with sensible people and edible food. US Ramsay is dealing with people who have actual health code violations in their restaurants yet claim to be good chefs running an acceptable business. Masterchef Junior Ramsay is teaching kids how to cook. No fucking WONDER there’s a massive difference.
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cloudfreed:

Jesus was a baby once and he was Very Cool

The Big Red Man Is Coming

There’s snow outside. that’s good!

I’m alone on xmas and sad

Santa Claus is very sexy

Christmas trees. love em

You know what? it’s Christmas time
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pippenpaddlopsicopolisthethird:

We did it. We’re finally free.
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lovelysuggestions:

sext: i will emotionally support you through tough times, and be there for you when you need me 😉💦
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atraversso:

Find the intruder …

Credit: slow_ri
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rumwik:

Some Happy Hanukkah doodles!
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lord-kitschener:

I love when you’re petting a cat and they do that happy squint that means they’re completely lost in the sauce
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viostormcaller:

ageostrophic:

jestermolly:

aregularboy:

heads up before you spend $$ on pillowfort, especially note the paypal thing. the io domain concern does not seem carefully enforced but is in the TOS so 🤷

These are valid concerns but like. Have we tried not making a call out post to promote hate against a brand new company made by fandom for fandom? This is the same shit that has been pulled on AO3 this year. Contact them and ask them to clarify their content moderation. Ask them about their concerns about Paypal – they’ve already mentioned on their Twitter that they’re changing domains because of the adult content ban on .io domains. They’ve been nothing but open and honest about everything since they were first announced and far more patient than is reasonable with the amount of questions they receive. And the site was down because it was fixing security issues in order to make the site safer for users. They’ve been absolutely transparent about this issue, which is unheard of these days.

Pillowfort will only survive if we support it. We need our own space that isn’t going to get sold out. Do you think Twitter is gonna allow NSFW content forever? Instagram doesn’t give a shit about fandom. And while Dreamwidth would be great, it would be a total culture shock to a lot of people – they have a 500mb cap for images, a tag limit, and communities decentralize fandom unlike Tumblr’s ability to just look at all of the posts under a single tag.

I’ve been looking into Pillowfort a lot. Obviously, there have been lots of tumblr-adjacent projects that haven’t worked out in the past, so it’s reasonable to be cautious. However;

Pillowfort has existed in beta for months now, with a fairly small user base. They created, funded, and closed their kickstarter over 3 months ago- you can check, it’s dated. They earned $57k, reasonable to get started, but not enough to create a fully operational social media site in 3 months. And unless they’re psychic, their site was clearly NOT created to take advantage of users fleeing tumblr, but rather out of genuine desire to create a platform that addressed the concerns of tumblr users.

With the money they earned, they have been working on the site, and the site being down was SCHEDULED (posted about before and while it was happening, keeping registered users updated on why it was taking so long and when it would be up again) maintenance to, you know, work on the site like they promised they were going to. It is literally in beta.

Again, unless they’re psychic, they had no idea tumblr was going to drop this bombshell while they were doing their maintenance (and again it’s in beta, ie the time when the site is SUPPOSED to be under maintenance!!)

They address the .io domain on their twitter (plan to change) and their FAQ addresses their business plan and how they plan to implement it. Plans to on board moderators are discussed on their FAQ.

So yeah, I get being cautious, but you should actually DO the research on this instead of knee-jerk reaction deciding it’s a scam. I’m not saying it IS going to turn out like everyone is hoping, but I have scoured all the info on their kickstarter, social media, and website; i have checked out the demo version of the site; I like what I see and so far everything checks out. So yeah I’m willing to bet a whole $5 on this site.

Okay reblogging this for misinformation
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frog-and-toad-are-friends:

out-there-on-the-maroon:

berlynn-wohl:

otpmusings:

Okay but instead of shipping the grumpy one with the cinnamon roll, imagine shipping two grumpy ones. Just being salty about fucking everything together all the time. Having the same salty philosophy on life and snickering at other people’s idiocy 24/7.

i mean, okay

I mean are they not a salty old gay couple who go to the theater only to offer scathing criticism and make each other laugh? Like that’s how I’ve always interpreted them.

Waldorf canonically has a wife, named “Astoria”. However, since Astoria is just the Statler puppet in drag, this just raises further questions.
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theminttu:

Magnus “the Fish Friend” Burnsides
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mystrothedefender:

culdeefell:

exemplarybehaviour:

wetfag:

221turtlesinthetardis:

Five asexuals are playing cards.

One starts to explain the rules:

I’d say no cheating, but there are already five aces at the table.

just a reminder that apparently anybody who isn’t ace cheats

this literally says the aces are cheating…………. because… you can’t have five aces in a deck………….it’s the Opposite of the second comment…

Reading comprehension on this site is piss-poor

How dare you say aces piss on the poor
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twinkcommunist:

Porn blogs still in normal operation are like American artillery that kept firing at German positions until 10:57 on armistice day
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timetravelingshark:

ralfmaximus:

kahavave:

Jimmys Seafood and PETA, ironically, have beef.

Scorched. Earth.
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yayroos:

For everyone’s information:

The plan for the 17th, when the adult content ban comes in, is to protest.

To do that, we are making as much noise either side of the 17th as possible, and using the site as normal.

On the 17th, dead silence.

People are saying log off but what they really mean is don’t open the site or the app.

But, on the 17th make as much noise as possible on every other platform. Tweet about it and post on facebook and instagram and everywhere else.

What this does is causes a massive dip in ad revenue for one single day. That does not make staff think ‘oh everyone’s gone let’s shut down.’ What it actually makes them think is ‘oh shit people aren’t happy and if people don’t keep using our site we’re out of money and out of jobs.’

A boycott reminds a company that the users (consumers) have the power to make their site (business) worthless with one single coordinated decision.

If you want to join in, here’s what to do:

Do:

Close all open instances of the app and site on all your devices before the 17th

Make posts before and after the 17th on tumblr and other platforms, talking about why this ban is bad

Make posts on other sites during the 17th. Flood the official tumblr staff twitter and facebook with your anger and your opinion

Come back on the 18th and check in

Don’t:

Delete the app from your phone (this doesn’t affect their revenue and since it’s off the store at the moment it’ll be hard to get back)

Delete your account. I mean you can if you want to, but if you keep your account and don’t use it you’re saying to staff that there’s still time to save it. If you delete it’s hard work to come back.

Open the app or website (including specific blogs)

Make any posts (turn down/off your queue and make sure nothing is scheduled)

Go quiet elsewhere. Make it clear that this is just about tumblr, not a mass move away from all social media.

Remember: the execs don’t care about anything but money. Shutting down the site means there’s $0 further income from it. That’s their last possible course of action. If we make it clear we’re not happy, they’ll have to do something or we can do more and more until it becomes too expensive.

Protests take commitment. They’re a defiant action against a business that is doing something wrong. They will try to scare you into not participating, because they’re scared. We hold all the power here, sometimes the execs just need to be reminded of that.
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katiethetransbian:

andthosearesmalleragents:

pro-aspec-lesbian:

nillia:

There are lesbians and bi women who are not penis-repulsed.

And there are some who are penis-repulsed.

“I would never date a trans woman,” is transphobic because it is a blanket statement on all trans women, implying they are men.

“I have penis-repulsion, which limits my sexual compatability with some women,” is a better, less transphobic thing to say cuz it also refers to incompatability w/ cis women who prefer using strap-ons and dildos, while validating womanhood regardless of genitals.

Thank you for this. I had no idea how to ever adress this without sounding like a TERF.

Also: not all trans women have penises! Surgery exists, and can be absolutely excellent for those who choose to have it! Whether or not a trans women has a penis is entirely up to her (albeit with considerations like the availability of doctors, her budget, and her general ability to undergo surgery).

And trans women can be penis-repulsed themselves! I would know, since I’m a penis-repulsed trans lesbian.
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blamebrampton:

daydreamingwriter:

vcbx5:

kyraneko:

themiscyra1983:

kyraneko:

missif-15fandoms:

actual-ironman-tonystark:

marisatomay:

actual-ironman-tonystark:

shakspaere:

alrightanakin:

Every Adult In “Harry Potter” Let Us Down At Some Point And That’s Important a 900 page dissertation by me

And that includes Joanne Kathleen Rowling a tear stained afterword by me

Hagrid Is The Exception a rebuttal by me

The Time Hagrid Told Voldemort How to Take Out Something Protecting an Object that Grants Immortality When He Was Drunk and Other Well-Meaning Fuck Ups a lengthy chapter

You’re Absolutely Right a retraction

How dare you assume Molly Weasley has done anything wrong ever

That Time Molly Yelled At The Twins And Ron For Saving Harry From Abuse And Starvation, Thus Likely Communicating To The Abused Kid In Her Presence That His Welfare Was Less Important Than Not Borrowing The Car, That Time Molly Was Utterly Condescending About How Harry Is A Child And Doesn’t Deserve To Know Anything In A Way That Probably Heightened His Determination To Prove Otherwise, That Time Molly Said The Twins Put Together Aren’t As Good As Any Of Their Brothers Over OWL Results That They Worked Hard On And Were Proud Of, That Time Molly Forcibly Cut Her Adult Son’s Hair Right Before His Wedding, That Time Molly Spent A Year Being Mean And Rejectful Toward Her Son’s Fiancee, That Time Molly Sent Hermione A Deliberate “Fuck You” Present For Easter Because She Believed A False Story Written In Witch Weekly Without Making Any Attempt To Ask The People Actually Involved, Those Times She Made Her Youngest Son’s Christmas Sweaters His Least Favorite Color, And Every Time She Belittled Her Husband’s Hobby, The Twins’ Interests, And Bill’s Appearance Because She Couldn’t Be Bothered To Understand Or Value Or Even Be Kind About Them a detailed reminder that no one’s perfect and sometimes what one person doesn’t mind or see hits another person hard

Florean Fortescue Just Wanted To Sell Some Ice Cream And Help Harry With His Homework He Is The Only Adult Who Didn’t Mess Up Until Getting Killed By Voldemort, RIP an increasingly strident addendum by me

OK You’re Absolutely Right Florean Fortescue Was In Fact Perfect As Far As I’m Aware a concession by me

omg

this is…. pretty much exactly what a published research paper reply-train looks like

RIP Florean Fortescue: the one non-divisive character in the whole hellscape that is the extended Potter fandom.
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star-otocinclus:

eternalgirlscout:

thereallieutenantcommanderdata:

Bold of you to go where no man has gone before

#op is literally seeking out new life and new civilizations but go off i guess (x)

These are the voyages of the starship enterprise, in this essay I will
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cityelf:

THE RAVEN AND THE RAM

Thanks Griffin for the only trope I’m ever going to care about for the rest of my life.
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sexologist:

This is important. Last week Tumblr, where I’ve written my A Day in the Life of a Sexologist blog since 2010, banned all adult content from the site. And Facebook, where I’ve been educating people about sexuality since 2005 (2005!!) instituted a new policy that bans sexual WORDS.

Anything that “encourages sexual encounters between adults” including “sexual slang”, discussion of “sex positions and kink”, or even a “hint” about sexual body parts, even the human “buttocks” can get you banned from Facebook.

And Facebook owns Instagram.

My presence here is precarious, as it is for anyone who acknowledges that human sexuality exists in either word or image. I’ll rant about corpo-cultural power over personal sexual expression another time, but for right now we need a contingency plan.

The only thing I currently have full control over is email so PLEASE sign up for my email list, and the email list of anyone you follow that you’d be devastated to find suddenly disappeared from social media, along with all their content, with no other way to keep up with them again. http://www.thesexologist.org/free-stuff.html

Free Stuff

I only send 4-5 emails per year right now, so I won’t be spamming you daily. But I will send my content there if something ever happens to me here.

And I’ll mail you an awesome sex-positive stickers for your laptop/water bottle/phone case when you sign up. Even if I already have your email, sign up again and I’ll mail you a sticker!

#SESTA #fosta #adultcontentban
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krustyassbitch:

cinemove:

Clueless (1996) dir. Amy Heckerling

An Icon, a prophet of modern times
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teddiursam:

dokuroou:

大城潤さんはTwitterを使っています: “北大路の改札で犬捕まえられてた笑笑 https://t.co/mg2g5WymjI”

Let!! Him!! Ride!!!
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thisdiscontentedwinter:

pettyrevenge-base:

This is not my story. This was told to me by a woman I knew from work several years ago; she’s a very sweet nurse.

Nurse graduated from nursing school and decided with her friend to move to one of the cities that was listed as having “the most eligible bachelors” from some publication. She moves and starts dating her future husband.

Future Husband’s mother is a viper and decides Nurse is not good enough for her family. The happy couple eventually get engaged and future mother-in-law is having none of it. Tries for several months to break them up; tries to convince Nurse to go back where she came from and simultaneously tries to gently convince her precious son that Nurse may not be good for him.

To add some more context to this situation, this MIL is pretty nasty to Nurse but hides it well to other people, always making sure she’s super (fake) sweet to everyone when others are around.

Finally wedding plans are set so MIL gets desperate. She gets Nurse alone with a “generous” offer: leave fiance and never come back in exchange for $10,000 (note: this was almost 30 years ago so I guess it was kind of a shitload of money for most).

Nurse is so sick of this woman’s shit and is incredibly insulted. However, she’s intelligent and maintains her composure. Nurse accepts the offer.

Nurse takes the money, does not leave, and gets married anyway. Nobody else knows about this.

MIL cannot say or do anything about it without exposing herself to her family as a horrible person.

Nurse and husband are still happily married; their kids are grown; husband still has no idea this went down.

MIL has suffered silently for almost 30 years.

I reblog this every time I see it, because it’s a Machiavellian power move AND I LOVE IT!
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boopednose:

writing-prompt-s:

Image Prompt

This is the installation wizard
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dominantlife:

Typical fucking Tumblr.
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hellenhighwater:

IF I CANT POST CAT PICTURES THEN WHAT IS EVEN THE POINT OF THIS FUCKING WEBSITE

HOW DARE THEY
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qwocodile:

if tumblr shuts down y'all can find me on the roof sending out drawings of titties via carrier pigeons
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half-ace:

peppermintsdicks:

peppermintsdicks:

when you’re watching a movie and suddenly there’s a forced hetero romance

you do know that gay people exist outside of yaoi, right

when some rando leaves homophobic comments on a good relatable joke post
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dungeons-and-dumbies:

Cave in a Fantasy Setting: *exists*

Giant Spiders:
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flouryhedgehog:

glumshoe:

Human: “It must be a dreary existence, unable to love, to eat, to sleep, to laugh… I feel sorry for you.”
Robot: “I can laugh. I have a sense of humor, you know.”
Human: “Really? I’ve never heard you laugh before.”
Robot: “I’ve never heard you say anything funny.”

Hello 911 I’d like to report a violation of the First Law of Robotics, this robot just straight up murdered a human
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