via
https://ift.tt/2PVSVyKtheultravioletcatastrophe:
counsellorsuggestion:
counsellorsuggestion:
rottentrauma:
counsellorsuggestion:
stop insulting yourself. it doesn’t help.
But what if it’s true
it still doesn’t help. you can call yourself as many names as you want, but it won’t make you a better, happier, healthier or kinder person.
punishment doesn’t work. only positive reinforcement does. be kind to yourself and get better.
#but like#what should i do instead??#i know i shouldnt insult myself but also theres nothing to compliment imho#thats my predicament
try speaking neutrally about yourself!
“you fucking idi- it’s not that big a mistake.”
“you’re worthle- it’s okay.”
“you’ll never amount to- well, i’m doing alright, i guess.”
ever heard the phrase “if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all”? that applies not to just to others but to yourself as well. it’s better to think neutrally or not at all than negatively. and once you’ve got into the habit of that, it’s much easier to move to uplifting yourself!
Kicking the negative self-talk was one of the harder things I had to do for my depression, but I couldn’t believe how much of a difference it made. If you’re constantly telling yourself that you’re worthless and awful and stupid, you start to believe it. Not only did this make my depression worse, but it gave me an excuse to act the way I did: “whatever, I don’t need to bother changing things, I’m just an asshole anyway so who cares.”
OP’s suggestion of redirecting your negative self-talk into neutral self-talk is a great one. The hardest part is looking at things from a neutral perspective; after all, you can really only see things from your own perspective. The trick is to remind yourself that sometimes your perspective is kinda fucked up. Some of y’all might find it useful to imagine what you’d say to a loved one if they were in the same situation, and then say that to yourself instead.
Instead of “I can’t do this, I’m such a failure” maybe try “I gave it my best shot, and while I didn’t succeed, I can try it again.” Be as gentle or as direct with yourself as you need. You can try flipping it around - if you were telling a friend what you were thinking about yourself, what would you want them to say to you? I’ve had to interrupt my own thoughts with something like “OKAY, drama queen, let’s not cut ourselves on all that edge, just cool it for a sec” and that actually let me take a breath and look at things again and realize that it actually wasn’t as bad as I was making it out to be.
And if talking it out with someone else would help, feel free to message me anytime. :)
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