gravityeyelids | Jul. 26th, 2018

Jul. 26th, 2018

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michverse:

the thing is about superhero comics is that these people fight in broad daylight and oftentimes its implied that its super common too so you could be like on a milk run in ur pjs its 7am and u look over at the town playground and see two grown men in bright spandex just duking it out in the sandbox n ur like oh ya justice is being served alright
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itsneeeeaaaal:

Frog and Toad learn the fallacy of Man
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defunctzombie:

noxturnel:

this is from a town in spain that in San fermines instead of bulls uses a giant ball and its so funny watching it on tumblr

UNMUTE
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datarep:

Density map of stars on national flags
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blithelybonny:

Bisexuals in committed monogamous relationships have not chosen a “side,” they have chosen a person.

Thank you and have a blessed day.
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I kissed the prettiest girl in the rain yesterday. It was so idyllic
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221cbakerstreet:

hexalene:

I accidentally deleted the ask, but anon basically said “do you have any more florist anecdotes?” And YOU BET I DO!!

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So one day this girl walks in, wet rag to her face, and rushes over to me, phone in hand. “HAVE YOU HEARD OF THIS….eey-low veer-uh plant??”

I had. As we’re headed to the succulents, the story comes out. She’s heard that aloe vera is good for soothing pain and….she leans close, super embarrassed, and whispers that she just went and got her mustache waxed off, and….she shows me her lip. Huge, swollen, little red bumps. She’s tried to cover it with makeup, and that’s made it worse. She’s getting teary, because she’s scared, but she’s lucky because she’s talking to me!!

We talk about a lot of stuff, skin care, hair removal, I won’t bore y’all since it’s not flowers, but I was able to give her some advice on it, and I’m thinking “okay she might not need a plant, but whatever” but she’s DETERMINED TO COMPLETE HER MISSION.

We get to the succulents, and I give her my whole aloe vera spiel (I love these plants!! My mom has a huge one that’s almost 25 years old!!) and the girl nods very very seriously, and buys one.

Before she leaves, she comes over to me, dead ass serious and informs me that this plant is her “super buddy” now, and she’s named him Ralph.

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In my previous post I mentioned a nervous husband with his wife on their first Valentine’s Day. Here’s that story:

So the guy, for a mental image: mid-30s black man, very well dressed in a nice work suit, leather laptop bag. Normally I’m MILDLY wary of v well dressed men, because a lot of them are uh…Difficult.

This wasn’t one of them! He was super nervous, looking through all the mason jar arrangements Very Seriously. He looked super focused and was having trouble picking through them, so I went over to help.

This nice man has four ladies to get flowers for. His wife, and their three daughters. He wanted to get mason jars for the girls (all under ten) and he was hoping to find them in their favorite colors.

I realized what he was doing, which was trying to find jars with predominantly pink, red, and purple themes. And since it wasn’t super busy, I just smiled and told him we could rearrange the jars in the color themes.

He was so BLOWN AWAY. I think he wanted to cry when I busted out the ribbons and made big bows for each jar! (Appropriately colored!!) (also while I was scavenging for flowers, he whipped out his phone and showed me some of their pictures. They’re so cute!! These girls are his princesses, for sure.)

So now His Wife. We were already on a roll, so once his jars were ready we started patrolling for The Perfect Bouquet. And as it happens once you start talking about personal stuff, his story came out!

So the girls are from Wife’s previous marriage. He married her last year, and he really wants to show them that he Really Loves Them. Like, these girls are His GIRLS. His phone still has their entire wedding album!! He shows me her bouquet, and he wants to get flowers that are like the bouquet, but MORE.

So we have the choices down to three big bouquets. He legit stands there for a solid FORTY FIVE MINUTES, just comparing and thinking about it. (I left him to it, obv.)

He then comes up, very serious, and asks what it would cost to combine the two bouquets he’s picked. He’s also picked out a vase and a card, and some chocolate.

I quoted the price (Not Cheap) and he just nods, dead serious, and walks away and pays for it. Like up front. And I’m like, well shit, this needs to be the most amazing thing I’ve done. So I clear the counter, because this is a man on a mission, and we put those flowers together into a MASTERPIECE.

It’s hard to explain size, but these flowers were big enough to hide behind!! I got him a nice box and we carefully packaged this sucker for safe transport in his tiny sports car (the jars for his girls all fit in the drink holders, which was hilarious for reasons I can’t explain. Also hilarious is that he had to manually take the top off of the convertible to fit the flowers and was totally willing to drive home IN THE COLD with it down if he had to, luckily he didn’t)

I sent him on His Odyssey. He was SO HAPPY, and I was so happy because I love good experiences that have triple digit sales, and he was so patient and nice!! Love is real.

(He came back with his friends about three hours later, and they got nice flowers as well! They were all calling me Miss Hexalene by the end, and their good moods infected every other customer in the store, which is the best infection we get in flu season)

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One of my favorite customers is this nice old lesbian who comes in and has one of our potted orchids in hand, big smirk on her face.

“My wife hates roses, so I’m getting her thi—“ she breaks off and her eyes go HUGE.

So she’s carrying this normal orchid, about a foot and a half tall, purple, v cute. She has just spotted our cymbidium orchids behind me, which GOOGLE THESE PUPPIES!! Ours came in, they’re THREE FEET TALL without the pot. Half of the plant is bloomed into these big beautiful brown/orange flowers, and the other half is still growing. They’re massive and I love them.

So this old lesbian (she’s about 60, cute boycut with all white hair, nice mom jeans and one of those balloony pico shirts) very deliberately sets her Lesser Orchid down, and points to the cymbidium orchids. “THAT. I need that.”

She’s got the absolute best shit-eating grin on her face, btw. She can’t stop laughing. She’s even crying with laughter a bit and while we’re strapping These Beasts (SHE BOUGHT FOUR OF THEM??) into her truck, she tells me about how her wife hates roses because she got a thorn tip stuck in her hand permanently as a kid. So every Valentine’s Day she goes on a hunt for the weirdest flower/most out of season flower she can find. These orchids are the best find she’s had since the 80s, when she brought home a massive Silver Vase Plant that’s still alive 30 years later.

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So I’m gonna stop with these three before I obliterate everyone’s dashes!! 8) thank you for the ask!!

Please don’t stop these are so wholesome and good
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gamingfeminism:

thenamelessqueen:

Probably the first RPG I ever played, I still play this on my vita every once in a while because it’s just that good.

ONE OF THE BEST GAMES
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Sofonisba Anguissola (Italian, 1530 - 1625), Self Portrait at the Easel Painting a Devotional Panel, 1556

Judith Leyster (Dutch, 1609 - 1660), Self Portrait, ca. 1630

Élisabeth Louise Vigée Le Brun (1755 - 1842), Self Portrait in a Straw Hat, after 1782

Marie-Gabrielle Capet (French, 1761-1818), Self Portrait, c. 1783

Zinaida Serebriakova (Russian, 1884 - 1967), At the Dressing Table - Self Portrait, 1909

Nasta Rojc (Croatian, 1883 - 1964), Self Portrait, 1912

Tamara de Lempika (Polish, 1898-1980), Self Portrait in the Green Bugatti, 1925

Leonor Fini (Argentine-French, 1908 - 1996), Self Portrait with Scorpion, 1938

Frida Kahlo (Mexican, 1907 - 1954), Self Portrait, 1945

Yana Movchan (born in Kiev, 1971), Beautiful Me (Self Portrait)

doyoubelieveinmonsters:

hajandrade:

Some Self Portraits by Women Artists:

Sofonisba Anguissola (Italian, 1530-1625), Self Portrait at the Easel Painting a Devotional Panel, 1556

Judith Leyster (Dutch, 1609-1660), Self Portrait, ca. 1630

Élisabeth Louise Vigée Le Brun (French, 1755-1842), Self Portrait in a Straw Hat, after 1782

Marie-Gabrielle Capet (French, 1761-1818), Self Portrait, c. 1783

Zinaida Serebriakova (Russian, 1884-1967), At the Dressing Table - Self Portrait, 1909

Nasta Rojc (Croatian, 1883-1964), Self Portrait, 1912

Tamara de Lempika (Polish, 1898-1980), Self Portrait in the Green Bugatti, 1925

Leonor Fini (Argentine-French, 1908-1996), Self Portrait with Scorpion, 1938

Frida Kahlo (Mexican, 1907-1954), Self Portrait, 1945

Yana Movchan (b. in Kiev, Ukraine, 1971), Beautiful Me (Self Portrait)

@corsica1789
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guweiz:

Final Ghost In The Shell piece! Interesting experience to work with a composition I’ve never really tried before, but I feel it’s a suitable one to present the theme of Identity by contrasting the 2 sides of the Major.
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futuresoon:

so my grandma died recently, and my parents have been dealing with the quantities of Stuff accumulated over the course of her and my grandpa’s lives, which could be interesting on its own as a family matter, but, well, grandpa was a science fiction writer, and they knew a lot of science fiction writers, which means a lot of the stuff is classic sci-fi and fantasy. books, artwork, that kind of thing. what i had not realized, but perhaps should have predicted, was that knowing a lot of science fiction writers in the ‘60s meant that they knew people who had written for this one TV show in the ‘60s that some science fiction writers worked on, and these people liked to share stuff.

what i’m saying is that i have now held in my hands one of the original, physical scripts for the star trek episode “amok time”.

it was like holding a piece of history. my own hands, carefully cradling the origin of sex pollen and fuck or die. a work whose influence went far behind what the writer could have expected–sacred, almost, in its way. who knows how much spawned from this episode? how much fanfiction would never have existed were it not for this holy text? indeed, the very concept of slash itself? an artifact, a priceless relic, sitting on my parents’ couch.

i haven’t seen the entirety of the episode itself, so i don’t know if there are any real differences between the script and what was aired, but i had to skim it anyway–and i did find something that is perhaps worth mentioning, whether or not this actually counts as canon. but hey, hard to get more canon than an Actual Official Script, right?

VULCANS BLUSH YELLOW, BITCHES, IT’S CANON

also, this:

thanks for specifying “karate-type”, theodore sturgeon. coulda gotten confusing, that.

anyway, it was a deeply surreal experience and i’m pretty sure the script is getting donated someplace with a lot of the other stuff, but man, my grandparents were cool
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solacekames:

solacekames:

venuselectrificata:

possibly controversial opinion: i think “natural” makeup is, over time, more damaging than bold, obvious makeup

I don’t think that’s controversial at all.

@qualr sure I’ll explain :-)

Mainly because makeup itself, the generic concept, is an integral part of human identity. People have always done it (even Neanderthals used makeup) and we’re always going to keep doing it. The concept of decorating our faces/bodies with colored pigments is practically hardwired and on a deep level just plain FUN (look at how much kids love to get their faces painted at fairs and carnivals and so on). The concept is also totally gender neutral. In some societies, men traditionally do it more than women, for example. Using your own body as a canvas for art taps into a mystical, childlike sense of wonder. First you look one way, then… another! Like magic.

But mainstream commercial makeup culture as it exists today is incredibly exploitative, misogynist, colonialist, colorist, and hurts women, especially poorer women and women who don’t fit the racial ideal as expressed by the mainstream corporate beauty industry. And a big part of that is pushing “natural” looks. All women are supposed to look “naturally” poreless, for example (which isn’t realistic or healthy) and are punished socially and often financially if we aren’t. Another example: contouring is supposed to accentuate the “natural” lines of your face but for me and a lot of other Asian women with moonfaces, it’s the furthest thing from natural! The further you are from the rich thin young lightskinned bigeyed straightsmallnosed highcheekboned look, the more weirdly artificial the word “natural” becomes. We’re supposed to sink all this time and money and resources into achieving this bullshit “natural” look until it all feels a bit like Sisyphus rolling the stone up the hill.

Putting a bright blue streak on your eyelids and walking out the door might take five seconds and probably makes you feel expressive and happy and good about yourself, even if it seems “tacky” through the lens of mainstream makeup culture. But taking an hour and trying soooo hard, using all the latest expensive products to make it seem like you’re not really trying at all, makes a lot of women feel worse about themselves, not better. In fact it leads to a lot of women feeling insecure about their real face and their real skin. There are many ways to look garish, but only ONE way to look “natural”. Instead of turning your own face into a canvas where you’re the creative artist, you’re following a ruthless set of instructions and doing a sort of strict paint-by-numbers that you’re never going to do right anyway. So it represents giving up more power over your own face/body than you’re actually getting back. Subjugation to the social norm, not creativity.
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