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iguanamouth:
jewelry i own ( and their potential enchantments)
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iguanamouth:
jewelry i own ( and their potential enchantments)
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Jul. 4th, 2018
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sonneillonv:
No lie, I do appreciate how Tan and Karamo speak out on this to the others, and the others LET THEM, and give them the floor when they’re talking about how being brown/black and being gay intersect. Similarly to the way they give Jonathan the floor when he’s talking about the difference in presentation being being, for example, someone like Antoni and Bobby who straight people generally don’t find threatening, and being someone like Jonathan who, in his own words, never had a CHOICE about being in the closet because “Sky is blue, water is wet, Jonathan is flamingly homosexual”. There are different experiences here, but Queer Eye actually gives them air time to talk about intersections of prejudice??? and that’s… so weirdly cool????
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sonneillonv:
No lie, I do appreciate how Tan and Karamo speak out on this to the others, and the others LET THEM, and give them the floor when they’re talking about how being brown/black and being gay intersect. Similarly to the way they give Jonathan the floor when he’s talking about the difference in presentation being being, for example, someone like Antoni and Bobby who straight people generally don’t find threatening, and being someone like Jonathan who, in his own words, never had a CHOICE about being in the closet because “Sky is blue, water is wet, Jonathan is flamingly homosexual”. There are different experiences here, but Queer Eye actually gives them air time to talk about intersections of prejudice??? and that’s… so weirdly cool????
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secret-soup:
your-local-mexican:
ebilflindas:
the fact that Donald Trump will die in my lifetime is a very comforting thought
I’m staying in this bitch ass world just to outlive him
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secret-soup:
your-local-mexican:
ebilflindas:
the fact that Donald Trump will die in my lifetime is a very comforting thought
I’m staying in this bitch ass world just to outlive him
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websurfer1994:
me: *overestimates the length of a yellow light and completely 100% runs a red light*
me while driving away: I AM A BEACON OF SIN I AM A BEACON OF SIN I AM A BEACON OF SIN I AM A BEACON OF SIN I AM A BEACON OF SIN I AM A BEACON OF SIN I AM A BEACON OF SIN I
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websurfer1994:
me: *overestimates the length of a yellow light and completely 100% runs a red light*
me while driving away: I AM A BEACON OF SIN I AM A BEACON OF SIN I AM A BEACON OF SIN I AM A BEACON OF SIN I AM A BEACON OF SIN I AM A BEACON OF SIN I AM A BEACON OF SIN I
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molotowcocktease:
Morning Glory
Shot in Las Vegas by @msnacke
Full set available on www.patreon.com/Shero
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molotowcocktease:
Morning Glory
Shot in Las Vegas by @msnacke
Full set available on www.patreon.com/Shero
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tubacondom:
concheror:
jokerdavis:
HEY THIS IS THE THIRD FLOOR OF THE BUILDING I WORK IN AND THERES A HORSE HERE
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tubacondom:
concheror:
jokerdavis:
HEY THIS IS THE THIRD FLOOR OF THE BUILDING I WORK IN AND THERES A HORSE HERE
(Your picture was not posted)
You need to tell that story immediately.
Jul. 4th, 2018 02:47 pmvia https://ift.tt/2tSOIn0
The Colin Mochrie story? Gladly. This is a good story.
So I go to this college, and it can best be described as a little weird. It desperately wants to be Cambridge, but it’s not Cambridge, so it takes out its frustration with not being Cambridge on weird collective mockeries of Cambridge stuff. So far so good.
One of these weird mockeries is the debate club.
It’s hard to even properly call the Literary Institute a debate club - it is a club, and it does debates, but the debates are 100% stand-up comedy in a parliamentary format and the other half is bullshit pantomiming. For instance, every year at matriculation, the club drunkenly rushes the stage, interrupts the ceremony, and calls everyone in the audience a horse’s ass (occasionally while quoting Dune). It also puts on a yearly event called ‘Tuck-Ins’, in which people in the dorms can sign up (or sign their friends up) to have the entire LIT burst into their room, give them bedtime snacks, give them bedtime beer, sing some bedtime songs, and tell them a bedtime story. Except, the LIT never does anything seriously, so the bedtime song was always Barrett’s Privateers and the bedtime story was almost always something we called ‘The Rat Story’. Let me tell you about the Rat Story.
The Rat Story was a piece of… literature… that a LIT member dragged out of the dregs of the internet many years ago. Nobody knows where it came from, and my efforts to find it again were unsuccessful, but good lord, it was bad. It was a page-and-a-half-long Hermione/Wormtail (rat form) smut fic and it was awful. So awful. I’m cringing just thinking about it. It’s the worst thing I’ve ever read, and at this point I basically know it by heart. We read it aloud, from the poorly worded introduction to its horrible closing line (AND HE SCAMPERED AWAY WET! STUNNED! AND THRILLED!) dozens of times in a single night to unsuspecting students. It was an experience.
Now you might be wondering how Colin Mochrie fits into this.
So, one of the other things my college does powerfully and often is pretension. We are the most pretentious college you will ever see, and our college clubs are proof positive of this. Every year, various college clubs send out dozens of official-sounding letters inviting our various favourite well-known-people to attend our meagre college events (I, as president of the James Bond Society, personally invited Barack Obama, Sean Connery, and the Queen to our AGM). However, this year the Comedy Club was riding particularly high, and it sent out quasi-sincere invitations to speak to a variety of Canadian comedians.
And Colin Mochrie showed up, one fateful Tuck-Ins night.
He gave a talk, which was very good, but noticed as the talk finished that many students were rushing away to something in an awful hurry. We explained that it was the night of Tuck Ins, an important and sacred college tradition and that
We would be delighted if he would join us.
And that, my friends, is the story of how I found myself crammed in a dorm room with 20 other people, listening to Colin Mochrie describe Peter Pettigrew’s rat boner to a couple of second years who had no idea what they were getting into.
(Your picture was not posted)
The Colin Mochrie story? Gladly. This is a good story.
So I go to this college, and it can best be described as a little weird. It desperately wants to be Cambridge, but it’s not Cambridge, so it takes out its frustration with not being Cambridge on weird collective mockeries of Cambridge stuff. So far so good.
One of these weird mockeries is the debate club.
It’s hard to even properly call the Literary Institute a debate club - it is a club, and it does debates, but the debates are 100% stand-up comedy in a parliamentary format and the other half is bullshit pantomiming. For instance, every year at matriculation, the club drunkenly rushes the stage, interrupts the ceremony, and calls everyone in the audience a horse’s ass (occasionally while quoting Dune). It also puts on a yearly event called ‘Tuck-Ins’, in which people in the dorms can sign up (or sign their friends up) to have the entire LIT burst into their room, give them bedtime snacks, give them bedtime beer, sing some bedtime songs, and tell them a bedtime story. Except, the LIT never does anything seriously, so the bedtime song was always Barrett’s Privateers and the bedtime story was almost always something we called ‘The Rat Story’. Let me tell you about the Rat Story.
The Rat Story was a piece of… literature… that a LIT member dragged out of the dregs of the internet many years ago. Nobody knows where it came from, and my efforts to find it again were unsuccessful, but good lord, it was bad. It was a page-and-a-half-long Hermione/Wormtail (rat form) smut fic and it was awful. So awful. I’m cringing just thinking about it. It’s the worst thing I’ve ever read, and at this point I basically know it by heart. We read it aloud, from the poorly worded introduction to its horrible closing line (AND HE SCAMPERED AWAY WET! STUNNED! AND THRILLED!) dozens of times in a single night to unsuspecting students. It was an experience.
Now you might be wondering how Colin Mochrie fits into this.
So, one of the other things my college does powerfully and often is pretension. We are the most pretentious college you will ever see, and our college clubs are proof positive of this. Every year, various college clubs send out dozens of official-sounding letters inviting our various favourite well-known-people to attend our meagre college events (I, as president of the James Bond Society, personally invited Barack Obama, Sean Connery, and the Queen to our AGM). However, this year the Comedy Club was riding particularly high, and it sent out quasi-sincere invitations to speak to a variety of Canadian comedians.
And Colin Mochrie showed up, one fateful Tuck-Ins night.
He gave a talk, which was very good, but noticed as the talk finished that many students were rushing away to something in an awful hurry. We explained that it was the night of Tuck Ins, an important and sacred college tradition and that
We would be delighted if he would join us.
And that, my friends, is the story of how I found myself crammed in a dorm room with 20 other people, listening to Colin Mochrie describe Peter Pettigrew’s rat boner to a couple of second years who had no idea what they were getting into.
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little-elf-wanders:
cribbysdolls:
Like Hoovervilles.
Okay but seriously, do this. This is the number one way to topple narcissist agendas. You want your name everywhere? You want to be adored? Here’s consequence. Now no one will be able to look at you without remembering those kids and how utterly despicable you are. Attach his name all over this shit. Make it impossible for him to get away from it in future years too. #Trumpcamps.
Make this trend. Make it a top google search. Make this his fucking whole presidency. The only thing he did. Trumpcamps.
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little-elf-wanders:
cribbysdolls:
Like Hoovervilles.
Okay but seriously, do this. This is the number one way to topple narcissist agendas. You want your name everywhere? You want to be adored? Here’s consequence. Now no one will be able to look at you without remembering those kids and how utterly despicable you are. Attach his name all over this shit. Make it impossible for him to get away from it in future years too. #Trumpcamps.
Make this trend. Make it a top google search. Make this his fucking whole presidency. The only thing he did. Trumpcamps.
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samandjackchild:
Cate Blanchett everyone is the living definition of get you a woman who can do it all
GET
YOU
A
WOMAN
WHO
CAN
DO
IT
ALL
!!!!!!!😍😘😍😍😘!!!!!!!!!
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samandjackchild:
Cate Blanchett everyone is the living definition of get you a woman who can do it all
GET
YOU
A
WOMAN
WHO
CAN
DO
IT
ALL
!!!!!!!😍😘😍😍😘!!!!!!!!!
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inthetags:
What type of soundtrack person are you : video game soundtrack, movie soundtrack, TV show soundtrack or anime soundtrack
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inthetags:
What type of soundtrack person are you : video game soundtrack, movie soundtrack, TV show soundtrack or anime soundtrack
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itsme98z:
thatpettyblackgirl:
Congrats to Generation Z on their very first kill! May the blood on your lips taste sweeter than wine!
We’re just following in the millennials’ footsteps
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itsme98z:
thatpettyblackgirl:
Congrats to Generation Z on their very first kill! May the blood on your lips taste sweeter than wine!
We’re just following in the millennials’ footsteps
(Your picture was not posted)
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spookyloop:
magicgoldenflowerprincess:
I’ve read tons of posts about dress codes in US schools. Recently I even read an article about a girl who was sent home for having a top without sleeves. It’s so weird that our online magazines have started to cover it. And all of this seems like a dystopia to me.
Here’s a thing: Finnish schools do NOT have any dress codes. Like, at all. Nothing. As long as you have all legally demanded parts covered. Also, teachers might sent home a note if they notice a young child not wearing a hat or a jacket in winter (it’s FREEZING but hats are not cool yo).
I attended this elite high school (no, not EXPENSIVE, education is free in Finland, elite as in nerds and good teachers). All kids in there had the best grades of our entire country. It’s also a very old, traditional school that has produced many artists, politicians etc. for us (Finland is a small village but compared to that, those people are great). And what did I wear to this fancy school?
Leather skirts, so short everyone saw my garters. Skin thight red tops so open that you could see the color of my bra. Fishnet stay-up socks. Leather boots with stiletto heels. And I also sat on my desk most of the time, so all boys behind me could clearly see all the glory of my high-heeled legs. I admit, I was bit of a goth kid then.
Guess what? Everyone passed the classes. I did not cause all the boys in our year to fail. Actually, they got used to it so quick nobody even noticed my clothes. And nowadays I attend a respectable office job where I dress in a modest (altough personal) way. Because in Finland we let kids be kids. I had plenty of time to learn professional dress code after I’d had my fun.
TLDR; Dress codes for kids are weird and unnecessary and not having them will not make the world burn.
I’m a Finn who has gone to school in Finland, the US and the UK, and I agree 100%. I always tell people that back home I could’ve probably shown up to school in a bikini and I still wouldn’t have been sent home. Gotten looks? Yes. Gotten frowning comments or teachers showing concern over me being cold? Probably. Sent home/out of class? No way. Come to think of it, I don’t remember anyone leaving in the middle of the day ever unless it was for an emergency/appointment and I only remember anyone being removed from the class when they were proper loud and disruptive in that way.
Like OP, I grew up walking the school halls in corsets, fishnets and high heels (and crazy hair). When I moved abroad in the middle of high school, the dress code was one of the hardest things to get used to. Us older students didn’t have to wear uniforms anymore but we had to follow a business casual dress code. The school said it was so that we were able to show our individuality and personality through our dress. And there I am, in clothing where the length of every sleeve and hem is regulated, the colour choices for my tights are nude or black, with my natural hair, in a button-up shirt, flat shoes, wearing no make-up and no jewellery. (Some people got reprimanded for having earring hoops because the younger students could accidentally rip them off while running in the hall. These young students 1. were not on our floor and we rarely even saw them 2. were not even tall enough to reach these people’s faces.)
How is that in any way self-expression? All it was was the illusion of choice for people who had had no choice before. I felt awful the entire year because I was not allowed to be myself at all. (I later started wearing my corset to school because it was quite an elegant one and I always had it layered with something and since no one had tried it before the school didn’t have a rule forbidding it.)
The thing about these kind of dress codes is that they’re not really about distraction. They’re not really about safety. They are about control. And as someone who has lived through the scale from complete freedom of dress to dress-this-way-or-we’ll-kick-you-out, I can tell you that the change was really difficult to get used to and the unnecessary policing of something that was supposed to be a representation of me definitely had a negative impact on my learning experience.
And yes, Finland is continuously one of the top countries in education, even with all the fishnets, high heels, bra straps and short skirts you can see every day in the hallways. (And maybe, just maybe, letting people be themselves creates a less stressful, more comfortable environment for students to learn in and teachers can actually focus on providing good quality education instead of having to police people’s clothes and make them miss out on lessons.)
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spookyloop:
magicgoldenflowerprincess:
I’ve read tons of posts about dress codes in US schools. Recently I even read an article about a girl who was sent home for having a top without sleeves. It’s so weird that our online magazines have started to cover it. And all of this seems like a dystopia to me.
Here’s a thing: Finnish schools do NOT have any dress codes. Like, at all. Nothing. As long as you have all legally demanded parts covered. Also, teachers might sent home a note if they notice a young child not wearing a hat or a jacket in winter (it’s FREEZING but hats are not cool yo).
I attended this elite high school (no, not EXPENSIVE, education is free in Finland, elite as in nerds and good teachers). All kids in there had the best grades of our entire country. It’s also a very old, traditional school that has produced many artists, politicians etc. for us (Finland is a small village but compared to that, those people are great). And what did I wear to this fancy school?
Leather skirts, so short everyone saw my garters. Skin thight red tops so open that you could see the color of my bra. Fishnet stay-up socks. Leather boots with stiletto heels. And I also sat on my desk most of the time, so all boys behind me could clearly see all the glory of my high-heeled legs. I admit, I was bit of a goth kid then.
Guess what? Everyone passed the classes. I did not cause all the boys in our year to fail. Actually, they got used to it so quick nobody even noticed my clothes. And nowadays I attend a respectable office job where I dress in a modest (altough personal) way. Because in Finland we let kids be kids. I had plenty of time to learn professional dress code after I’d had my fun.
TLDR; Dress codes for kids are weird and unnecessary and not having them will not make the world burn.
I’m a Finn who has gone to school in Finland, the US and the UK, and I agree 100%. I always tell people that back home I could’ve probably shown up to school in a bikini and I still wouldn’t have been sent home. Gotten looks? Yes. Gotten frowning comments or teachers showing concern over me being cold? Probably. Sent home/out of class? No way. Come to think of it, I don’t remember anyone leaving in the middle of the day ever unless it was for an emergency/appointment and I only remember anyone being removed from the class when they were proper loud and disruptive in that way.
Like OP, I grew up walking the school halls in corsets, fishnets and high heels (and crazy hair). When I moved abroad in the middle of high school, the dress code was one of the hardest things to get used to. Us older students didn’t have to wear uniforms anymore but we had to follow a business casual dress code. The school said it was so that we were able to show our individuality and personality through our dress. And there I am, in clothing where the length of every sleeve and hem is regulated, the colour choices for my tights are nude or black, with my natural hair, in a button-up shirt, flat shoes, wearing no make-up and no jewellery. (Some people got reprimanded for having earring hoops because the younger students could accidentally rip them off while running in the hall. These young students 1. were not on our floor and we rarely even saw them 2. were not even tall enough to reach these people’s faces.)
How is that in any way self-expression? All it was was the illusion of choice for people who had had no choice before. I felt awful the entire year because I was not allowed to be myself at all. (I later started wearing my corset to school because it was quite an elegant one and I always had it layered with something and since no one had tried it before the school didn’t have a rule forbidding it.)
The thing about these kind of dress codes is that they’re not really about distraction. They’re not really about safety. They are about control. And as someone who has lived through the scale from complete freedom of dress to dress-this-way-or-we’ll-kick-you-out, I can tell you that the change was really difficult to get used to and the unnecessary policing of something that was supposed to be a representation of me definitely had a negative impact on my learning experience.
And yes, Finland is continuously one of the top countries in education, even with all the fishnets, high heels, bra straps and short skirts you can see every day in the hallways. (And maybe, just maybe, letting people be themselves creates a less stressful, more comfortable environment for students to learn in and teachers can actually focus on providing good quality education instead of having to police people’s clothes and make them miss out on lessons.)
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vinkunwildflowerqueen:
if-only-angels-could-prevail:
whinyblogging:
candycanebuckybarnes:
peterquilltingcircle:
anh62950:
coffeeandpunkmusic:
miss-elsaba:
hey-look-a-hufflepuff:
les-etoiles-de-la-boxe:
pancakereport:
cinder-ember:
sammywhatammy:
redheadeddisneyfreak:
sheriffwxy:
totalspiffage:
soulpunchftw:
agatharights:
musicofthestage:
crutchiee:
tbbackus:
lucasbieneke:
Apparently my director went to see a production of West Side Story a few years ago, and the guy playing Chino forgot his gun before coming out for his final scene. Once it got to the big scene where he is supposed to shoot Tony, he screeched “Poison Boots” and kicked the actor playing Tony until he went down. The girl playing Maria then had to jerk the shoe off of Chino’s foot, and had to do the gunshot scene asking “How many kicks Chino? How many kicks, and one kick left for me”.
There should be a blog dedicated to theatrical urban legends. Like that opening weekend of Dracula where Dracula (still hungover) vomited all over the audience during the first stage direction that everyone has a friend of a friend that worked on the show and was there.
or the one where the bridge never came out for Javert’s suicide and so he just pretended to stab himself and then lay there until the lights went out
best story i heard was when a friend of mine saw a show where juliet forgot to bring the dagger out on stage so she just ripped the squib out of her chest and blood squirted everywhere
During a passion play a friend of my brother was supposedly in, one of the roman soldiers who was supposed to stab jesus on the cross and accidentally grabbed the wrong spear- he was supposed to grab one with a fake tip, but instead he grabbed one with an actual metal tip and, well
Jesus screamed “JESUS CHRIST YOU STABBED ME”.
Since that Jesus had to be taken down due to a bad case of stab-itis, the backup Jesus came in, but he weighed significantly less than the original Jesus- which would have been fine, except that at the end the cross was supposed to ascend upwards with Jesus on it, and the weights hadn’t been adjusted.
So Jesus, instead, ROCKETED UP into heaven (or, just, above the stage).
This is wild from start to finish
I was in Peter Pan once and one night at a performance, the adhesive holding our Hook’s mustache on was wearing off. It was near the end with a big fight scene and when he got attacked, he let his mustache fall and went “YOU RIPPED MY MUSTACHE OFF!” in a scandalized tone and it added a new note of hilarity to the whole scene (which was supposed to be funny anyway)
In my seventh grade play, which was a midsummer night’s dream, Thisbe didn’t have a sword so she stabbed herself with a coathanger
My junior year we were doing Romeo and Juliet and after Juliet poisons herself it was supposed to go dark and she’d get off the stage. well the light crew accidentally turned them back on and Juliet who was sitting up slammed back down on the wooden bed with a loud bang. To which my theater teacher says into the com “zombie Juliet” and everyone who heard that had to keep as quiet as possible while our eyes were filling with tears.
i attended my county’s performing arts high school majoring in vocal studies, (mostly geared towards musical theater and opera styles) and once a year we got a field trip to new york (we were in jersey, so it’s not exactly far). we would do one touristy thing, an actor’s workshop with friends of our teachers working in various performing industries in nyc, and then see a show.
my first year doing this, our industry contacts were 1 actor, 1 casting director, and 1 producer to get different aspects of the business, and they all gave us amazing advice and told fantastic stories. the actor in question was Zazu on Broadway’s The Lion King for several years, and told the best story by far.
in The Lion King, there are only two pieces of pre-recorded noise in the whole show. one, when Pumbaa does a MASSIVE fart while fighting the hyenas, and the other being Mufasa saying REMEMBERRRRRR as Simba climbs Pride Rock. the actor told us while struggling not to laugh that, during one night’s performance, someone forgot to flip the tape of these pre-recorded noises.
so, at the end of the show, the great climax where Simba finally accepts his place in the Circle of Life, the heavens parted and-
PFFFFFFFFFRRRRRBTFTBTBFTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT
everyone froze. and then all ran off stage positively HOWLING with laughter.
the lesson: sometimes there are fuck ups you just can’t recover from.
During a high school production of Beauty and the Beast, where I was assistant costumer and assistant prop master, our director decided that we needed to spice up Gaston’s introduction. You know: in the movie, when Lefou runs in trying to catch the duck/goose that Gaston has just shot out of the sky?
Originally, the actors were going to stroll on stage with our Lefou hauling in the really neat (and real!) taxidermied deer head that we had found in a local thrift store. Now, two days before opening night, our director wants Lefou to run in from off stage and catch a stuffed duck that Gaston has just shot. This, of course, requires two things to work properly as a scene: a gunshot noise, and a stuffed duck.
The gunshot noise, we had covered. Blue-collar, redneck school? Guns a plenty to record. The stuffed duck? Harder than you might have thought to obtain.
Three hunting stores, two taxidermists, and one Pet Supply Store ™, I’d finally found a semi-realistic pheasant squeaky toy. What follows is an account of the ways this dog toy managed to be the nightmare prop of the six show run.
Opening Night: The stagehand, who was supposed to drop the bird from the ceiling catwalk, missed his cue and didn’t drop the it. Lefou’s actor rolls with it and does an excellent job of looking around foolishly before getting cuffed upside the head by Gaston. The stagehand then drops the bird squarely on Gaston’s head. Cue laughter.
Saturday Matinee: Different stagehand throws the bird instead of dropping it and beans Lefou directly in the face with the prop. Lefou falls over. Cue laughter.
Saturday Night: Bird is missing during curtain call. Director hauls the deer head down from it’s place on the tavern wall and tells Gaston and Lefou to revert to the old blocking i.e. no gunshot, no bird, just walk in with trophy. During Gaston and Lefou’s conversation, gun shot sound goes off and a stagehand throws the bird onto the stage…from the wrong side of the stage. Lefou and Gaston stare at it in awkward silence for a solid thirty seconds before Lefou makes off-script, subtle joke about Gaston’s gun going off late instead of early. Cue adults in the audience laughing.
Sunday Matinee: Director begs the stagehands to get the cue right at least once. Gunshot and bird prop go off without a hitch. Lefou accidentally catches the prop when it falls from the catwalk. He’s so startled that he caught it that Gaston runs right in to him. They drop both the gun and the bird props, and grab the wrong prop in their scramble. Gaston spends the rest of the scene gesturing dramatically with a stuffed pheasant, instead of a gun.
Sunday Night: Director is fed up with bird prop, decides that Lefou should just carry bird prop in after gunshot happens off stage. Lefou accidentally squeezes the prop during the intro conversation, startling both actors into silence with the squeaky toy noise - apparently, neither of them realized it was a dog toy.
Monday Elementary School Show: Lefou walks on stage with the bird. Accidentally drops the prop during conversation with Gaston. Gaston doesn’t notice the dropped prop and steps on it. Cue depressingly sad squeaky toy noise. Cue ten years olds laughing.
In a dress rehearsal for Peter Pan, Wendy forgot one of her lines and started singing the star spangled banner and the audience was singing along and people got emotional
Once during the closing night of our high school production of south pacific, we were havin our pre-show pep talk, and our director reminded everyone (mostly seniors) not to go off script to try to be funny. Of course we had one lead who decided to ignore this advice. So during one scene where the sailors were “fishing” at the edge of the stage, he decides to pull up his rubber fish, make a comment about how it wasn’t big enough, and throw it back into the “ocean”, which of course, was the audience. Now, this probably wouldn’t have been too much of a problem if he had gently tossed it, since it would have landed right behind the pit. But naturalt, he decided that this fish had to break free in the most dramatic way possible, so he winds up and chucks this fucking foot-long rubber fish with all of his strength. So now imagine the stage crew, all of us huddled together, silently screaming as this limp fish goes sailing over the heads of the audience in what looks like a low-budget reenactment of free willy, only to slap some poor parent across the face. I swear, you could almost hear the chorus of “mmmm whatcha saaayyy” rising from all those backstage. From that moment on, all rubber fish were ferociously guarded by yours truly, under the direction of our stage manager.
This post gets better every time it shows up on my dash
My Junior year of high school our drama club put on Peter Pan,which involved the construction of a small boat fashioned out of scrap wood,plaster and an old wagon. A few of the actors who were cast as pirates had to ride the boat-wagon down the aisle to the front of the theatre,which had a concrete floor that sloped. About halfway down the brake they were using to control their speed gave out,and they crashed into the front of the stage at high speed.The entire boat imploded. The actors just sat there in silence for at least a full 10 seconds in the midst of the wreckage before my friend Adena screamed “ABANDON SHIP” and they all jumped out and took off running.
My school once did a parody of Cinderella and I was Cinderellas dog. At one point Cinderella, the Fairy Godmother, and the dog had to flea the ball. I thought going down the stage steps wasn’t dramatic enough for “fleeing” so I launched myself off the stage and landed painfully in the center isle about three rows in accompanied with a very, very loud thump of face on concrete where I laid there like a dead fish for a while. At this point Cinderella and the Fairy Godmother got to me, not knowing what to do they stepped over me and continued running. But Cinderella had forgotten to loose her shoe so half way out of the room she chucked it back where it hit me in the head. I bolted upright and ran shrieking hysterically out of the room. A moment later the Prince came down to where the shoe was picked it up, looked dramatically at where I had exited and said “I hope that dog’s okay.” completely forgetting his line.
This may be my all time favorite post.
I was once in a production of “Hello Dolly!” and the two leads were complete jokers and would prank each other during rehearsals all the time. The rest of the cast never thought they would do that during a show, but they told the chorus (separately) that they each were planning to add some tongue into the final kiss between Dolly and Horace. Of course, we told neither of them about the other’s plan, so during the very last show, we were all waiting in the wings to see what would happen. What happened was we ended the show with the two leads violently frenching each other on stage as the curtain dropped. They started dating two weeks later.
Last year we did “Once Upon a Mattress” and the jester was supposed to do a somersault off of a stack of like 3 mattresses and then the minstrel and Lady Larken would be covered up with a blanket, but during one show the jester knocked down one of the mattresses and we had no time to fix it so we had to throw the mattress on top of them
Junior year of high school. Our Lumiere in Beauty And The Beast got a massive nosebleed onstage. He couldn’t do much about it because his hands were lampshades so he just stood there bleeding and waiting to get the hell out of there.
One year later, we’re doing Into The Woods. The same guy is playing Rapunzel’s Prince. He has this scene where he takes a knee and orates about his love for her. He finishes his line, stands up, runs offstage more hurriedly than usual. The minute he’s off he informs us that he just accidentally shit his pants. “I don’t know what happened. My bowels literally just released in the middle of my line. I’m not nervous, it just happened, oh my god.” This was during Act 1. Agony and Agony reprise were especially hilarious that evening.
One of my old roommates told me he was in a production of The Sound of Music as Rolf, and was really sick for one of the performances. You know the part where Rolf and Liesl sing Sixteen Going on Seventeen, and Rolf runs off the stage, and then runs back on, kisses Liesl, runs back off, and Liesl screams “Wheeeeeeeee?”
Apparently he ran offstage, started throwing up violently, and never came back onstage, leaving Liesl to scream “Wheeeeeeee!” with retching noises in the background.
Last year, a local school did a production of High School Musical, and during the scene where Troy and Gabriella were playing basketball, Gabriella’s shot completely and miserably missed the basket.
Troy’s follow up comment of “wow, you never told me you were good at hoops too” was hilarious.
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lucasbieneke:
Apparently my director went to see a production of West Side Story a few years ago, and the guy playing Chino forgot his gun before coming out for his final scene. Once it got to the big scene where he is supposed to shoot Tony, he screeched “Poison Boots” and kicked the actor playing Tony until he went down. The girl playing Maria then had to jerk the shoe off of Chino’s foot, and had to do the gunshot scene asking “How many kicks Chino? How many kicks, and one kick left for me”.
There should be a blog dedicated to theatrical urban legends. Like that opening weekend of Dracula where Dracula (still hungover) vomited all over the audience during the first stage direction that everyone has a friend of a friend that worked on the show and was there.
or the one where the bridge never came out for Javert’s suicide and so he just pretended to stab himself and then lay there until the lights went out
best story i heard was when a friend of mine saw a show where juliet forgot to bring the dagger out on stage so she just ripped the squib out of her chest and blood squirted everywhere
During a passion play a friend of my brother was supposedly in, one of the roman soldiers who was supposed to stab jesus on the cross and accidentally grabbed the wrong spear- he was supposed to grab one with a fake tip, but instead he grabbed one with an actual metal tip and, well
Jesus screamed “JESUS CHRIST YOU STABBED ME”.
Since that Jesus had to be taken down due to a bad case of stab-itis, the backup Jesus came in, but he weighed significantly less than the original Jesus- which would have been fine, except that at the end the cross was supposed to ascend upwards with Jesus on it, and the weights hadn’t been adjusted.
So Jesus, instead, ROCKETED UP into heaven (or, just, above the stage).
This is wild from start to finish
I was in Peter Pan once and one night at a performance, the adhesive holding our Hook’s mustache on was wearing off. It was near the end with a big fight scene and when he got attacked, he let his mustache fall and went “YOU RIPPED MY MUSTACHE OFF!” in a scandalized tone and it added a new note of hilarity to the whole scene (which was supposed to be funny anyway)
In my seventh grade play, which was a midsummer night’s dream, Thisbe didn’t have a sword so she stabbed herself with a coathanger
My junior year we were doing Romeo and Juliet and after Juliet poisons herself it was supposed to go dark and she’d get off the stage. well the light crew accidentally turned them back on and Juliet who was sitting up slammed back down on the wooden bed with a loud bang. To which my theater teacher says into the com “zombie Juliet” and everyone who heard that had to keep as quiet as possible while our eyes were filling with tears.
i attended my county’s performing arts high school majoring in vocal studies, (mostly geared towards musical theater and opera styles) and once a year we got a field trip to new york (we were in jersey, so it’s not exactly far). we would do one touristy thing, an actor’s workshop with friends of our teachers working in various performing industries in nyc, and then see a show.
my first year doing this, our industry contacts were 1 actor, 1 casting director, and 1 producer to get different aspects of the business, and they all gave us amazing advice and told fantastic stories. the actor in question was Zazu on Broadway’s The Lion King for several years, and told the best story by far.
in The Lion King, there are only two pieces of pre-recorded noise in the whole show. one, when Pumbaa does a MASSIVE fart while fighting the hyenas, and the other being Mufasa saying REMEMBERRRRRR as Simba climbs Pride Rock. the actor told us while struggling not to laugh that, during one night’s performance, someone forgot to flip the tape of these pre-recorded noises.
so, at the end of the show, the great climax where Simba finally accepts his place in the Circle of Life, the heavens parted and-
PFFFFFFFFFRRRRRBTFTBTBFTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT
everyone froze. and then all ran off stage positively HOWLING with laughter.
the lesson: sometimes there are fuck ups you just can’t recover from.
During a high school production of Beauty and the Beast, where I was assistant costumer and assistant prop master, our director decided that we needed to spice up Gaston’s introduction. You know: in the movie, when Lefou runs in trying to catch the duck/goose that Gaston has just shot out of the sky?
Originally, the actors were going to stroll on stage with our Lefou hauling in the really neat (and real!) taxidermied deer head that we had found in a local thrift store. Now, two days before opening night, our director wants Lefou to run in from off stage and catch a stuffed duck that Gaston has just shot. This, of course, requires two things to work properly as a scene: a gunshot noise, and a stuffed duck.
The gunshot noise, we had covered. Blue-collar, redneck school? Guns a plenty to record. The stuffed duck? Harder than you might have thought to obtain.
Three hunting stores, two taxidermists, and one Pet Supply Store ™, I’d finally found a semi-realistic pheasant squeaky toy. What follows is an account of the ways this dog toy managed to be the nightmare prop of the six show run.
Opening Night: The stagehand, who was supposed to drop the bird from the ceiling catwalk, missed his cue and didn’t drop the it. Lefou’s actor rolls with it and does an excellent job of looking around foolishly before getting cuffed upside the head by Gaston. The stagehand then drops the bird squarely on Gaston’s head. Cue laughter.
Saturday Matinee: Different stagehand throws the bird instead of dropping it and beans Lefou directly in the face with the prop. Lefou falls over. Cue laughter.
Saturday Night: Bird is missing during curtain call. Director hauls the deer head down from it’s place on the tavern wall and tells Gaston and Lefou to revert to the old blocking i.e. no gunshot, no bird, just walk in with trophy. During Gaston and Lefou’s conversation, gun shot sound goes off and a stagehand throws the bird onto the stage…from the wrong side of the stage. Lefou and Gaston stare at it in awkward silence for a solid thirty seconds before Lefou makes off-script, subtle joke about Gaston’s gun going off late instead of early. Cue adults in the audience laughing.
Sunday Matinee: Director begs the stagehands to get the cue right at least once. Gunshot and bird prop go off without a hitch. Lefou accidentally catches the prop when it falls from the catwalk. He’s so startled that he caught it that Gaston runs right in to him. They drop both the gun and the bird props, and grab the wrong prop in their scramble. Gaston spends the rest of the scene gesturing dramatically with a stuffed pheasant, instead of a gun.
Sunday Night: Director is fed up with bird prop, decides that Lefou should just carry bird prop in after gunshot happens off stage. Lefou accidentally squeezes the prop during the intro conversation, startling both actors into silence with the squeaky toy noise - apparently, neither of them realized it was a dog toy.
Monday Elementary School Show: Lefou walks on stage with the bird. Accidentally drops the prop during conversation with Gaston. Gaston doesn’t notice the dropped prop and steps on it. Cue depressingly sad squeaky toy noise. Cue ten years olds laughing.
In a dress rehearsal for Peter Pan, Wendy forgot one of her lines and started singing the star spangled banner and the audience was singing along and people got emotional
Once during the closing night of our high school production of south pacific, we were havin our pre-show pep talk, and our director reminded everyone (mostly seniors) not to go off script to try to be funny. Of course we had one lead who decided to ignore this advice. So during one scene where the sailors were “fishing” at the edge of the stage, he decides to pull up his rubber fish, make a comment about how it wasn’t big enough, and throw it back into the “ocean”, which of course, was the audience. Now, this probably wouldn’t have been too much of a problem if he had gently tossed it, since it would have landed right behind the pit. But naturalt, he decided that this fish had to break free in the most dramatic way possible, so he winds up and chucks this fucking foot-long rubber fish with all of his strength. So now imagine the stage crew, all of us huddled together, silently screaming as this limp fish goes sailing over the heads of the audience in what looks like a low-budget reenactment of free willy, only to slap some poor parent across the face. I swear, you could almost hear the chorus of “mmmm whatcha saaayyy” rising from all those backstage. From that moment on, all rubber fish were ferociously guarded by yours truly, under the direction of our stage manager.
This post gets better every time it shows up on my dash
My Junior year of high school our drama club put on Peter Pan,which involved the construction of a small boat fashioned out of scrap wood,plaster and an old wagon. A few of the actors who were cast as pirates had to ride the boat-wagon down the aisle to the front of the theatre,which had a concrete floor that sloped. About halfway down the brake they were using to control their speed gave out,and they crashed into the front of the stage at high speed.The entire boat imploded. The actors just sat there in silence for at least a full 10 seconds in the midst of the wreckage before my friend Adena screamed “ABANDON SHIP” and they all jumped out and took off running.
My school once did a parody of Cinderella and I was Cinderellas dog. At one point Cinderella, the Fairy Godmother, and the dog had to flea the ball. I thought going down the stage steps wasn’t dramatic enough for “fleeing” so I launched myself off the stage and landed painfully in the center isle about three rows in accompanied with a very, very loud thump of face on concrete where I laid there like a dead fish for a while. At this point Cinderella and the Fairy Godmother got to me, not knowing what to do they stepped over me and continued running. But Cinderella had forgotten to loose her shoe so half way out of the room she chucked it back where it hit me in the head. I bolted upright and ran shrieking hysterically out of the room. A moment later the Prince came down to where the shoe was picked it up, looked dramatically at where I had exited and said “I hope that dog’s okay.” completely forgetting his line.
This may be my all time favorite post.
I was once in a production of “Hello Dolly!” and the two leads were complete jokers and would prank each other during rehearsals all the time. The rest of the cast never thought they would do that during a show, but they told the chorus (separately) that they each were planning to add some tongue into the final kiss between Dolly and Horace. Of course, we told neither of them about the other’s plan, so during the very last show, we were all waiting in the wings to see what would happen. What happened was we ended the show with the two leads violently frenching each other on stage as the curtain dropped. They started dating two weeks later.
Last year we did “Once Upon a Mattress” and the jester was supposed to do a somersault off of a stack of like 3 mattresses and then the minstrel and Lady Larken would be covered up with a blanket, but during one show the jester knocked down one of the mattresses and we had no time to fix it so we had to throw the mattress on top of them
Junior year of high school. Our Lumiere in Beauty And The Beast got a massive nosebleed onstage. He couldn’t do much about it because his hands were lampshades so he just stood there bleeding and waiting to get the hell out of there.
One year later, we’re doing Into The Woods. The same guy is playing Rapunzel’s Prince. He has this scene where he takes a knee and orates about his love for her. He finishes his line, stands up, runs offstage more hurriedly than usual. The minute he’s off he informs us that he just accidentally shit his pants. “I don’t know what happened. My bowels literally just released in the middle of my line. I’m not nervous, it just happened, oh my god.” This was during Act 1. Agony and Agony reprise were especially hilarious that evening.
One of my old roommates told me he was in a production of The Sound of Music as Rolf, and was really sick for one of the performances. You know the part where Rolf and Liesl sing Sixteen Going on Seventeen, and Rolf runs off the stage, and then runs back on, kisses Liesl, runs back off, and Liesl screams “Wheeeeeeeee?”
Apparently he ran offstage, started throwing up violently, and never came back onstage, leaving Liesl to scream “Wheeeeeeee!” with retching noises in the background.
Last year, a local school did a production of High School Musical, and during the scene where Troy and Gabriella were playing basketball, Gabriella’s shot completely and miserably missed the basket.
Troy’s follow up comment of “wow, you never told me you were good at hoops too” was hilarious.
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mizkit:
raavynndigital:
minuiko:
wintercyan:
onegoodey:
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hobbitkaiju:
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jenngeek:
doktorfylthe:
Characterization done right.
Steve Rogers in a single gif.
We joke about Steve’s patriotism as his strong suit, but his actual strength was his sense of moral right. His whole philosophy is summed up in the line “I don’t like bullies” in the first movie. Steve loves his country. He loves it enough to be at the front of the line trying to fix what he sees as moral wrong in it.
kehinki: #there isn’t even any indication he loves his country t b h#all we know is that he wants to fix what he deems morally impermissible#”I don’t like bullies /I don’t care where they’re from/”#that last bit is important
steve rogers is patriotic in the most real sense: he represents the concept at the core of the american ideal, the concept of freedom that is the reason our political system is designed to adapt and alter itself for constant improvement.
he is not loyal to any momentary leader or agenda, and when those leaders and agendas stand contrary to his core ideal of self-determination and freedom from oppression, he’ll speak up without hesitation.
honestly, i never would’ve thought captain america would be my favorite superhero, but he’s the activist i aspire to be.
Captain America is loyal to nothing but the dream.
The problem with Captain America’s image in the public mind is that people recite the first line of his byword and ignore the last part :
“My country, right or wrong;if right, to be kept right; and if wrong, to be set right.”
Not to mention his
speech in Spiderman #537
.
My favorite line from the issue:
“This nation was founded on one principle above all else: The requirement that we stand up for what we believe, no matter the odds or the consequences. When the mob and the press and the whole world tell you to move, your job is to plant yourself like a tree besides the river of truth, and tell the whole world—
—No, you move.”
Steve Rogers is a radical and that’s why I love him.
Steve Rogers *is* a radical, and hardly anybody realizes that. It’s freakin’ brilliant. :)
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mizkit:
raavynndigital:
minuiko:
wintercyan:
onegoodey:
jumpingjacktrash:
hobbitkaiju:
verysharpteeth:
jenngeek:
doktorfylthe:
Characterization done right.
Steve Rogers in a single gif.
We joke about Steve’s patriotism as his strong suit, but his actual strength was his sense of moral right. His whole philosophy is summed up in the line “I don’t like bullies” in the first movie. Steve loves his country. He loves it enough to be at the front of the line trying to fix what he sees as moral wrong in it.
kehinki: #there isn’t even any indication he loves his country t b h#all we know is that he wants to fix what he deems morally impermissible#”I don’t like bullies /I don’t care where they’re from/”#that last bit is important
steve rogers is patriotic in the most real sense: he represents the concept at the core of the american ideal, the concept of freedom that is the reason our political system is designed to adapt and alter itself for constant improvement.
he is not loyal to any momentary leader or agenda, and when those leaders and agendas stand contrary to his core ideal of self-determination and freedom from oppression, he’ll speak up without hesitation.
honestly, i never would’ve thought captain america would be my favorite superhero, but he’s the activist i aspire to be.
Captain America is loyal to nothing but the dream.
The problem with Captain America’s image in the public mind is that people recite the first line of his byword and ignore the last part :
“My country, right or wrong;if right, to be kept right; and if wrong, to be set right.”
Not to mention his
speech in Spiderman #537
.
My favorite line from the issue:
“This nation was founded on one principle above all else: The requirement that we stand up for what we believe, no matter the odds or the consequences. When the mob and the press and the whole world tell you to move, your job is to plant yourself like a tree besides the river of truth, and tell the whole world—
—No, you move.”
Steve Rogers is a radical and that’s why I love him.
Steve Rogers *is* a radical, and hardly anybody realizes that. It’s freakin’ brilliant. :)
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beeishappy:
The Late Show’s Doin Her Best Barbie in response to Mattel’s ‘Shero Collection’ crafted after real iconic women for International Women’s Day | LSSC | 2018.03.08
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beeishappy:
The Late Show’s Doin Her Best Barbie in response to Mattel’s ‘Shero Collection’ crafted after real iconic women for International Women’s Day | LSSC | 2018.03.08
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I am morally opposed to there being glass between me and these puppies (Underlook.org)
Is this updog?
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socialistexan:
socialistexan:
friendlylycanthrope:
babyanimalgifs:
I am morally opposed to there being glass between me and these puppies (Underlook.org)
Is this updog?
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cowbuttcrunchies:
After almost a year, Ivysaur is finally finished! I can’t wait to wear this Pokemon set this Friday with . I’m pumped to also be participating in Colossalcon’s wig styling contest on Thursday at 6pm EST, which is getting streamed on Twitch - not sure what I’ll be making yet but hopefully I’ll figure it out soon! :D
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cowbuttcrunchies:
After almost a year, Ivysaur is finally finished! I can’t wait to wear this Pokemon set this Friday with . I’m pumped to also be participating in Colossalcon’s wig styling contest on Thursday at 6pm EST, which is getting streamed on Twitch - not sure what I’ll be making yet but hopefully I’ll figure it out soon! :D
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cowbuttcrunchies:
“And hovering where it once stood is Lup, phantasmal and resplendent .”
The Adventure Zone
Lup | @cowbuttcrunchies
Photography | @cowbuttcrunchies
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cowbuttcrunchies:
“And hovering where it once stood is Lup, phantasmal and resplendent .”
The Adventure Zone
Lup | @cowbuttcrunchies
Photography | @cowbuttcrunchies
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