![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Nov. 28th, 2017
via http://ift.tt/2nc0hEW:
buddha-buddy-the-beardie:
rockatransky:
on occasion, i browse the clearance racks at overpriced hipster-y boutiques cause from time to time you can find amazing deals, but being in Rich People Places always makes me a little nervous– and today when i was picking up a layaway from one of these shops, my nerves resulted in a story the shopkeepers are probably gonna be telling for quite a while.
i’d just come from the feed store for lizard food (ie: bugs), and it was like 95F out so they were slowly being smothered to death in my backpack. so when the clerk, who i’d overheard was only on her second day working there, gave me my fancy sundress in a bag way too big for it, i pulled out two dozen crickets in a plastic bag and a tub full of mealworms from my pack and set them gently on the bag so they could breathe better till i got home.
this girl’s eyes go wide and she looks imploringly back at the equally startled-looking manager helping her through the transaction, and i realize that this might look a little weird to folks who aren’t reptile keepers. so, instead of doing the logical thing and explaining that i’m feeding leopard geckos, i sorta chuckled and shrugged apologetically, and just said “dinner, y’know?”
for the briefest of moments, there was an awkward silence so sweaty and suffocating you could drown in it, and then, in true daytime comedy fashion,
the fucking crickets started chirping.
so i guess i’m never going back there ever again.
This is gold.
(Your picture was not posted)
buddha-buddy-the-beardie:
rockatransky:
on occasion, i browse the clearance racks at overpriced hipster-y boutiques cause from time to time you can find amazing deals, but being in Rich People Places always makes me a little nervous– and today when i was picking up a layaway from one of these shops, my nerves resulted in a story the shopkeepers are probably gonna be telling for quite a while.
i’d just come from the feed store for lizard food (ie: bugs), and it was like 95F out so they were slowly being smothered to death in my backpack. so when the clerk, who i’d overheard was only on her second day working there, gave me my fancy sundress in a bag way too big for it, i pulled out two dozen crickets in a plastic bag and a tub full of mealworms from my pack and set them gently on the bag so they could breathe better till i got home.
this girl’s eyes go wide and she looks imploringly back at the equally startled-looking manager helping her through the transaction, and i realize that this might look a little weird to folks who aren’t reptile keepers. so, instead of doing the logical thing and explaining that i’m feeding leopard geckos, i sorta chuckled and shrugged apologetically, and just said “dinner, y’know?”
for the briefest of moments, there was an awkward silence so sweaty and suffocating you could drown in it, and then, in true daytime comedy fashion,
the fucking crickets started chirping.
so i guess i’m never going back there ever again.
This is gold.
(Your picture was not posted)
How to Handle Having TOO MUCH To Do
Nov. 28th, 2017 02:38 pmvia http://ift.tt/2BjGu8D:
allydsgn:
howtomusicmajor:
So let’s say you’re in the same boat I am (this is a running theme, have you noticed?) and you’ve just got, like, SO MUCH STUFF that HAS to get done YESTERDAY or you will DIE (or fail/get fired/mope). Everything needs to be done yesterday, you’re sick, and for whatever reason you are focusing on the least important stuff first. What to do!
Take a deep breath, because this is a boot camp in prioritization.
Make a 3 by 4 grid. Make it pretty big. The line above your top row goes like this: Due YESTERDAY - due TOMORROW - due LATER. Along the side, write: Takes 5 min - Takes 30 min - Takes hours - Takes DAYS.
Divide ALL your tasks into one of these squares, based on how much work you still have to do. A thank you note for a present you received two weeks ago? That takes 5 minutes and was due YESTERDAY. Put it in that square. A five page paper that’s due tomorrow? That takes an hour/hours, place it appropriately. Tomorrow’s speech you just need to rehearse? Half an hour, due TOMORROW. Do the same for ALL of your tasks
Your priority goes like this:
5 minutes due YESTERDAY
5 minutes due TOMORROW
Half-hour due YESTERDAY
Half-hour due TOMORROW
Hours due YESTERDAY
Hours due TOMORROW
5 minutes due LATER
Half-hour due LATER
Hours due LATER
DAYS due YESTERDAY
DAYS due TOMORROW
DAYS due LATER
At this point you just go down the list in each section. If something feels especially urgent, for whatever reason - a certain professor is hounding you, you’re especially worried about that speech, whatever - you can bump that up to the top of the entire list. However, going through the list like this is what I find most efficient.
Some people do like to save the 5 minute tasks for kind of a break between longer-running tasks. If that’s what you want to try, go for it! You’re the one studying here.
So that’s how to prioritize. Now, how to actually do shit? That’s where the 20/10 method comes in. It’s simple: do stuff like a stuff-doing FIEND for 20 minutes, then take a ten minute break and do whatever you want. Repeat ad infinitum. It’s how I’ve gotten through my to do list, concussed and everything.
You’ve got this. Get a drink and start - we can do our stuff together!
WOAH THIS SOUNDS HELPFUL. I’M GOING TO TRY THIS IMMEDIATELY. Also, I made a chart for myself, but if anyone else wants it for reference (or if this is wrong and I misread you can tell me) here it is:
(Your picture was not posted)
allydsgn:
howtomusicmajor:
So let’s say you’re in the same boat I am (this is a running theme, have you noticed?) and you’ve just got, like, SO MUCH STUFF that HAS to get done YESTERDAY or you will DIE (or fail/get fired/mope). Everything needs to be done yesterday, you’re sick, and for whatever reason you are focusing on the least important stuff first. What to do!
Take a deep breath, because this is a boot camp in prioritization.
Make a 3 by 4 grid. Make it pretty big. The line above your top row goes like this: Due YESTERDAY - due TOMORROW - due LATER. Along the side, write: Takes 5 min - Takes 30 min - Takes hours - Takes DAYS.
Divide ALL your tasks into one of these squares, based on how much work you still have to do. A thank you note for a present you received two weeks ago? That takes 5 minutes and was due YESTERDAY. Put it in that square. A five page paper that’s due tomorrow? That takes an hour/hours, place it appropriately. Tomorrow’s speech you just need to rehearse? Half an hour, due TOMORROW. Do the same for ALL of your tasks
Your priority goes like this:
5 minutes due YESTERDAY
5 minutes due TOMORROW
Half-hour due YESTERDAY
Half-hour due TOMORROW
Hours due YESTERDAY
Hours due TOMORROW
5 minutes due LATER
Half-hour due LATER
Hours due LATER
DAYS due YESTERDAY
DAYS due TOMORROW
DAYS due LATER
At this point you just go down the list in each section. If something feels especially urgent, for whatever reason - a certain professor is hounding you, you’re especially worried about that speech, whatever - you can bump that up to the top of the entire list. However, going through the list like this is what I find most efficient.
Some people do like to save the 5 minute tasks for kind of a break between longer-running tasks. If that’s what you want to try, go for it! You’re the one studying here.
So that’s how to prioritize. Now, how to actually do shit? That’s where the 20/10 method comes in. It’s simple: do stuff like a stuff-doing FIEND for 20 minutes, then take a ten minute break and do whatever you want. Repeat ad infinitum. It’s how I’ve gotten through my to do list, concussed and everything.
You’ve got this. Get a drink and start - we can do our stuff together!
WOAH THIS SOUNDS HELPFUL. I’M GOING TO TRY THIS IMMEDIATELY. Also, I made a chart for myself, but if anyone else wants it for reference (or if this is wrong and I misread you can tell me) here it is:
(Your picture was not posted)
via http://ift.tt/2AdOew5:
caffeinatedmusing:
1. L’ange du mal by Joseph Geefs
2. Le genie du mal by Guillaume Geefs
Here’s the wiki article on them.
(Your picture was not posted)
caffeinatedmusing:
1. L’ange du mal by Joseph Geefs
2. Le genie du mal by Guillaume Geefs
Here’s the wiki article on them.
(Your picture was not posted)
via http://ift.tt/2AczIVz:
carowley:
guys who rarely wear suits look at least 385% hotter when wearing a suit while guys who usually wear suits look 451% hotter when wearing casual clothes trust me this is science
(Your picture was not posted)
carowley:
guys who rarely wear suits look at least 385% hotter when wearing a suit while guys who usually wear suits look 451% hotter when wearing casual clothes trust me this is science
(Your picture was not posted)
via http://ift.tt/2AetgNF:
dunkstein:
koobaxion:
here’s a hot take: giftwrap is dumb, 95% of the time you can just hand someone the thing and accomplish the same task. Society has conditioned us to love wrapping shit up for no reason, probably by gift wrap industry people.
Counterpoint: monkey instinct says uncovering secret bounty from colorful shell good as fuck
(Your picture was not posted)
dunkstein:
koobaxion:
here’s a hot take: giftwrap is dumb, 95% of the time you can just hand someone the thing and accomplish the same task. Society has conditioned us to love wrapping shit up for no reason, probably by gift wrap industry people.
Counterpoint: monkey instinct says uncovering secret bounty from colorful shell good as fuck
(Your picture was not posted)
via http://ift.tt/2Adq2tx:
thefingerfuckingfemalefury:
stubbiethecorgi:
Stu: ‘Hi Mahm, More head skritches please!’ 😄❤️
A WHOLESOME FACE
(Your picture was not posted)
thefingerfuckingfemalefury:
stubbiethecorgi:
Stu: ‘Hi Mahm, More head skritches please!’ 😄❤️
A WHOLESOME FACE
(Your picture was not posted)
via http://ift.tt/2hYMNqA:
eizenmark:
the actions of the phantom thieves show no sign of stopping.
(Your picture was not posted)
eizenmark:
the actions of the phantom thieves show no sign of stopping.
(Your picture was not posted)
via http://ift.tt/2j15pqN:
emotional-sushi:
destinyrush:
This is a dream come true 😭 Btw they’re longwear liquid pigments which means you can use them as foundation OR concealer and even mix them with other products. Besides, not only are they cruelty free, they are also fragrance, oil and paraben free!
YSL needs to take notes. Just saying 💁🏾
Their website
It actually looks like they have a color in my skin tone, I’m gonna cry
(Your picture was not posted)
emotional-sushi:
destinyrush:
This is a dream come true 😭 Btw they’re longwear liquid pigments which means you can use them as foundation OR concealer and even mix them with other products. Besides, not only are they cruelty free, they are also fragrance, oil and paraben free!
YSL needs to take notes. Just saying 💁🏾
Their website
It actually looks like they have a color in my skin tone, I’m gonna cry
(Your picture was not posted)
school mindset
Nov. 28th, 2017 05:21 pmvia http://ift.tt/2jwHChQ:
studying-chan:
medicalena:
essays - make each essay you write better than the last
small assignments - aim for 100s, expect 100s, get 100s
homework - pretend they’re assignments
homework that’s not graded - pretend! they’re! assignments!
tests - study for 100s, expect less
long term projects - act like it’s due in four days -even when it’s not- until you’re done with it
group projects - do not get angry
presentations - pretend you’re obama
disclaimer - this works for me, it may not work for everybody, do not push yourself too hard!!
This is such a great way to treat college work!
(Your picture was not posted)
studying-chan:
medicalena:
essays - make each essay you write better than the last
small assignments - aim for 100s, expect 100s, get 100s
homework - pretend they’re assignments
homework that’s not graded - pretend! they’re! assignments!
tests - study for 100s, expect less
long term projects - act like it’s due in four days -even when it’s not- until you’re done with it
group projects - do not get angry
presentations - pretend you’re obama
disclaimer - this works for me, it may not work for everybody, do not push yourself too hard!!
This is such a great way to treat college work!
(Your picture was not posted)
via http://ift.tt/2k7gJoY:
mediseller:
the genderbent vers of phantom thieves except akira and akechi i made some time ago. just bc i didnt fully imagine their designs at the point lol so maybe i could include them afterwards..
edit: 9/4 included p5 protagonist(akira kurusu) and akechi goro
(Your picture was not posted)
mediseller:
the genderbent vers of phantom thieves except akira and akechi i made some time ago. just bc i didnt fully imagine their designs at the point lol so maybe i could include them afterwards..
edit: 9/4 included p5 protagonist(akira kurusu) and akechi goro
(Your picture was not posted)
via http://ift.tt/2i0KHqr:
lesbeantrash:
rihannanow:
For quick makeup, lips or eyes?
It works the other way too. You see women in magazines with mascara, blush and fkn winged eyeliner on but no lipstick and dudes are like “I LOVE THIS NATURAL LOOK WOMEN LOOK SO MUCH NICER WITHOUT MAKEUP ON”.
(Your picture was not posted)
lesbeantrash:
rihannanow:
For quick makeup, lips or eyes?
It works the other way too. You see women in magazines with mascara, blush and fkn winged eyeliner on but no lipstick and dudes are like “I LOVE THIS NATURAL LOOK WOMEN LOOK SO MUCH NICER WITHOUT MAKEUP ON”.
(Your picture was not posted)
prospt: what ‘academia is
Nov. 28th, 2017 08:41 pmvia http://ift.tt/2neuZNC:
prospt:
what ‘academia is inaccessible’ means: much academic writing is financially difficult to acquire and also a lot of it builds on context and area of study-specific vocabulary that the author expects you to already be familiar with, making it difficult to ‘break in’
what y’all think it means: if you expect me to have any sort of background knowledge for what i’m talking about or want me to read a word with more than three syllables you want all poor disabled people to die
(Your picture was not posted)
prospt:
what ‘academia is inaccessible’ means: much academic writing is financially difficult to acquire and also a lot of it builds on context and area of study-specific vocabulary that the author expects you to already be familiar with, making it difficult to ‘break in’
what y’all think it means: if you expect me to have any sort of background knowledge for what i’m talking about or want me to read a word with more than three syllables you want all poor disabled people to die
(Your picture was not posted)
via http://ift.tt/2zNMeLT:
yesterdaysprint:
The Sphere, London, January 7, 1939
(Your picture was not posted)
yesterdaysprint:
The Sphere, London, January 7, 1939
(Your picture was not posted)
via http://ift.tt/2hYuFx4:
sofiaboutalla:
Sophie Turner photographed by Beau Grealy for Marie Claire US, November 2017
(Your picture was not posted)
sofiaboutalla:
Sophie Turner photographed by Beau Grealy for Marie Claire US, November 2017
(Your picture was not posted)
via http://ift.tt/2nehM7F:
awesome-picz:
This Blind Kitty Found On The Street Has Eyes No One Could Resist.
awesome-picz:
This Blind Kitty Found On The Street Has Eyes No One Could Resist.
via http://ift.tt/2nc3nbZ:
the-flightoficarus:
iamnmbr3:
queenofthequillandink:
Head canon that whenever Natasha is asked sexist questions by the media, the boys just keep going to increasingly ridiculous lengths to get there and answer the question instead.
Reporter: Do you ever feel resentment for this job reducing the possibility of having a family?
Bruce, strolling by: I don’t know, I never really thought about having a family to begin with. I prefer spending my time in the company of friends.
Reporter: Do you feel like you have to be super girly to stand out or super masculine to fit in with all the men?
Steve, jumping over from his own group of reporters: See, that’s what I love about the 21st century. Lots of room for gender expression however you want. *pointed Disappointed Captain Look*
Reporter: Do you think your emotions ever get the best of you on the field?
Thor, landing with Mjolnir: I have spent many years learning to control my pride on the battlefield and not lose my head during a fight. I thank my shield brothers and sister for helping me.
Reporter: How do you come out of a fight looking so fabulous?
Tony, flying in on a private helicopter probably: It’s just genetics, dear. I always look fabulous. I looked fabulous while dying.
Reporter: What kind of product do you use in your hair?
Bucky, ziplining in from the next building over: L’oreal. *hands out the expertly photoshopped ad Darcy made of him in a L’oreal ad*
Reporter: What kind of diet do you use to stay in shape?
Clint, leaping out of an air vent: You know, I’ve been thinking of trying paleo, but this is all natural. Pizza for days, baby. Keeping aliens from destroying the world tends to burn a few calories.
I’d like to think Tony genuinely thought the question was for him. Furthermore, I would like to imagine that at this point Bucky is not an official Avenger, so from the reporter’s perspective, the Winter Soldier just showed up, answered a question about hair that wasn’t directed at him, handed out pictures, and then left.
*bangs gravel* HEADCANON ACCEPTED
(Your picture was not posted)
the-flightoficarus:
iamnmbr3:
queenofthequillandink:
Head canon that whenever Natasha is asked sexist questions by the media, the boys just keep going to increasingly ridiculous lengths to get there and answer the question instead.
Reporter: Do you ever feel resentment for this job reducing the possibility of having a family?
Bruce, strolling by: I don’t know, I never really thought about having a family to begin with. I prefer spending my time in the company of friends.
Reporter: Do you feel like you have to be super girly to stand out or super masculine to fit in with all the men?
Steve, jumping over from his own group of reporters: See, that’s what I love about the 21st century. Lots of room for gender expression however you want. *pointed Disappointed Captain Look*
Reporter: Do you think your emotions ever get the best of you on the field?
Thor, landing with Mjolnir: I have spent many years learning to control my pride on the battlefield and not lose my head during a fight. I thank my shield brothers and sister for helping me.
Reporter: How do you come out of a fight looking so fabulous?
Tony, flying in on a private helicopter probably: It’s just genetics, dear. I always look fabulous. I looked fabulous while dying.
Reporter: What kind of product do you use in your hair?
Bucky, ziplining in from the next building over: L’oreal. *hands out the expertly photoshopped ad Darcy made of him in a L’oreal ad*
Reporter: What kind of diet do you use to stay in shape?
Clint, leaping out of an air vent: You know, I’ve been thinking of trying paleo, but this is all natural. Pizza for days, baby. Keeping aliens from destroying the world tends to burn a few calories.
I’d like to think Tony genuinely thought the question was for him. Furthermore, I would like to imagine that at this point Bucky is not an official Avenger, so from the reporter’s perspective, the Winter Soldier just showed up, answered a question about hair that wasn’t directed at him, handed out pictures, and then left.
*bangs gravel* HEADCANON ACCEPTED
(Your picture was not posted)
via http://ift.tt/2nagAlA:
“In 1986 Grandma was worried I wasn’t settling down. So I told her I was having a relationship—with a woman. “I am settling down, in my own way.” And the sunlight settled on the dust on the mantlepiece and the cat settled in Grandma’s lap and Grandma said there were two nurses boarding in her mother’s house in Yorkshire in 1916. And Grandma said she was in love with one of them.
70 years later, she still remembered waiting at the bottom of the boarding-house stairs to blush and smile hello at the funny, dark-eyed nurse she loved.
Love between women? Unforgettable.”
- Eleni Prineas, in Finding the Lesbians: Personal Accounts from Around the World (via llleighsmith)
(Your picture was not posted)
“In 1986 Grandma was worried I wasn’t settling down. So I told her I was having a relationship—with a woman. “I am settling down, in my own way.” And the sunlight settled on the dust on the mantlepiece and the cat settled in Grandma’s lap and Grandma said there were two nurses boarding in her mother’s house in Yorkshire in 1916. And Grandma said she was in love with one of them.
70 years later, she still remembered waiting at the bottom of the boarding-house stairs to blush and smile hello at the funny, dark-eyed nurse she loved.
Love between women? Unforgettable.”
- Eleni Prineas, in Finding the Lesbians: Personal Accounts from Around the World (via llleighsmith)
(Your picture was not posted)
via http://ift.tt/2ncD99j:
thelingerieaddict:
A Hollywood Heroine: TLA’s First Magazine Style EditorialVintage glamour never goes out style. Ashleeta Beauchamp models some of the most stunning retro looks the lingerie industry has to offer. Photography by Lars Kommienezuspadt. Makeup by Erika Reno. Hair by Miss Rockabilly Ruby. Styled by Cora Harrington, The Lingerie Addict. Photographed at The Kingsley House.
Bra + Girdle + Stockings: What Katie Did. Corset: Morua Corsetry & Couture. Dressing Gown: Layneau. Hat: Model’s own. Jewelry: Stylist’s own.
(Your picture was not posted)
thelingerieaddict:
A Hollywood Heroine: TLA’s First Magazine Style EditorialVintage glamour never goes out style. Ashleeta Beauchamp models some of the most stunning retro looks the lingerie industry has to offer. Photography by Lars Kommienezuspadt. Makeup by Erika Reno. Hair by Miss Rockabilly Ruby. Styled by Cora Harrington, The Lingerie Addict. Photographed at The Kingsley House.
Bra + Girdle + Stockings: What Katie Did. Corset: Morua Corsetry & Couture. Dressing Gown: Layneau. Hat: Model’s own. Jewelry: Stylist’s own.
(Your picture was not posted)
via http://ift.tt/2nfasIG:
theshockinglyeloquentdog:
libations-of-blood-and-wine:
mer-squared:
clientsfromhell:
Me: “How can I help you today, ma'am?”Client: “Is e-mail internet”?Me: “I beg your pardon?”Client: “Is e-mail on the internet? I have no internet, can I still read my e-mail?”Me: “Well yes, you must be able to get online to view your e-mail.”Client: “Oh, dear. I can’t see my e-mail.”Me: “Well, let’s see. Can you open up Internet Explorer for me and tell me what you see?”Client: “Open what?”Me: “Your browser, can you open up your browser?”Client: “My…my…?”Me: “What you click on when you want to browse the internet?”Client: “I don’t use anything, I just turn my computer on, and it’s there.”Me: “Okay. Do you see the little blue ‘e’ icon on your desktop?”Client: “You mean I have to start writing letters again?”Me: “I’m…what, I’m sorry?”Client: “I don’t have any pens at my desk. I just want my e-mail again.”Me: “No, ma'am, your desktop, on your computer screen. Can you click on the little blue ‘e’ on your computer screen for me?”Client: “Oh, this is too much work. I’m too upset. Just send me my e-mail. Can’t you send me my e-mail?”Me: “We…okay, ma'am. Can you tell me what color the lights are on your router right now?”Client: “My what?”Me: “The little box with green or possibly a couple of red lights on it right now - it’s most likely near your computer?”
Client: “Lights and boxes, boxes and lights, just get my e-mail for me.
Me: “My test is showing that you should be able to get online right now. Can you tell me what you’re seeing on your computer screen?”Client: “It’s been the same thing for the last two hours.”Me: “An error message?”Client: “No, just stars. It’s black and moving stars.”Me: “…Do you see your mouse next to your keyboard?”Client: “Yes.”
Me: “Move it for me.”Client: “Move it?”Me: “Yes. Move it.”Client: “My e-mail!”
This post gave me a fucking ulcer.
You meet people like this at the library. People who have been coming in every day for YEARS to use the computers and monopolize your time with conversations like this, that seem to go out of their way to avoid listening to anything you try to teach them because they’d rather you just do it for them.
So one day, this tiny, frail little woman comes to the desk with a huge folder of papers under her arm. She says “I need to use one of the computers,” and I’m like “alright, I’ll set you up with a guest account.”
And then she says “I’ll also need you to show me how to use a computer. I’m 97 years old and I’ve never even touched one before, but I need to file my health information and they told me I needed to do it using this,” and she holds out a little scrap of paper with a url scrawled on it in a shaky hand.
And I’m just mentally like ‘oh no,’ but I say of course I can help her. So I sit her down and sign her in, and she stops me to ask basically what the mouse is, and I explain it, but I’m just thinking that this is going to take a million years. But I start doing a quick and dirty run down of the parts of the computer, the programs, the desktop, what a url is and what the Internet is, what a search engine is, what websites are, and so on.
She doesn’t interrupt or ask any questions or anything, and then I’m like ‘okay let’s go to this url’ and it’s an interactive, multi-page form that she needs to put all that info in her folder into and submit, and I’m just terrified as I’m explaining it that I’m going to spend all day with this woman.
But she’s just like “alright. I think I’ve got it.” And she must have had a secretary job back in the typewriter days, because she just *whips* through the first page of the form and submits and goes on to the next, and tells me she’ll find me if she needs me.
She came over once to tell me she needed an email address and wanted to know how to set one up - I told her about her options and she picked Gmail and went back to the computer and set it up all by herself, and got her information all filed properly in about an hour and a half – and she’d NEVER used a computer before in her LIFE.
When she was done, she came over to ask me how to turn it off and I showed her and she thanked me for being so patient, and I told her quite honestly that I’d NEVER seen a novice adult pick up using a computer so fast.
And she said “oh, but it’s so simple! And so useful! My grandkids made it sound so difficult, but I’m going to pick up my own computer tomorrow!”
And I think she must have, because I never saw her in the library again.
Anyway I hope I’m that quick when I’m 97.
this turned out so much better than i expected
(Your picture was not posted)
theshockinglyeloquentdog:
libations-of-blood-and-wine:
mer-squared:
clientsfromhell:
Me: “How can I help you today, ma'am?”Client: “Is e-mail internet”?Me: “I beg your pardon?”Client: “Is e-mail on the internet? I have no internet, can I still read my e-mail?”Me: “Well yes, you must be able to get online to view your e-mail.”Client: “Oh, dear. I can’t see my e-mail.”Me: “Well, let’s see. Can you open up Internet Explorer for me and tell me what you see?”Client: “Open what?”Me: “Your browser, can you open up your browser?”Client: “My…my…?”Me: “What you click on when you want to browse the internet?”Client: “I don’t use anything, I just turn my computer on, and it’s there.”Me: “Okay. Do you see the little blue ‘e’ icon on your desktop?”Client: “You mean I have to start writing letters again?”Me: “I’m…what, I’m sorry?”Client: “I don’t have any pens at my desk. I just want my e-mail again.”Me: “No, ma'am, your desktop, on your computer screen. Can you click on the little blue ‘e’ on your computer screen for me?”Client: “Oh, this is too much work. I’m too upset. Just send me my e-mail. Can’t you send me my e-mail?”Me: “We…okay, ma'am. Can you tell me what color the lights are on your router right now?”Client: “My what?”Me: “The little box with green or possibly a couple of red lights on it right now - it’s most likely near your computer?”
Client: “Lights and boxes, boxes and lights, just get my e-mail for me.
Me: “My test is showing that you should be able to get online right now. Can you tell me what you’re seeing on your computer screen?”Client: “It’s been the same thing for the last two hours.”Me: “An error message?”Client: “No, just stars. It’s black and moving stars.”Me: “…Do you see your mouse next to your keyboard?”Client: “Yes.”
Me: “Move it for me.”Client: “Move it?”Me: “Yes. Move it.”Client: “My e-mail!”
This post gave me a fucking ulcer.
You meet people like this at the library. People who have been coming in every day for YEARS to use the computers and monopolize your time with conversations like this, that seem to go out of their way to avoid listening to anything you try to teach them because they’d rather you just do it for them.
So one day, this tiny, frail little woman comes to the desk with a huge folder of papers under her arm. She says “I need to use one of the computers,” and I’m like “alright, I’ll set you up with a guest account.”
And then she says “I’ll also need you to show me how to use a computer. I’m 97 years old and I’ve never even touched one before, but I need to file my health information and they told me I needed to do it using this,” and she holds out a little scrap of paper with a url scrawled on it in a shaky hand.
And I’m just mentally like ‘oh no,’ but I say of course I can help her. So I sit her down and sign her in, and she stops me to ask basically what the mouse is, and I explain it, but I’m just thinking that this is going to take a million years. But I start doing a quick and dirty run down of the parts of the computer, the programs, the desktop, what a url is and what the Internet is, what a search engine is, what websites are, and so on.
She doesn’t interrupt or ask any questions or anything, and then I’m like ‘okay let’s go to this url’ and it’s an interactive, multi-page form that she needs to put all that info in her folder into and submit, and I’m just terrified as I’m explaining it that I’m going to spend all day with this woman.
But she’s just like “alright. I think I’ve got it.” And she must have had a secretary job back in the typewriter days, because she just *whips* through the first page of the form and submits and goes on to the next, and tells me she’ll find me if she needs me.
She came over once to tell me she needed an email address and wanted to know how to set one up - I told her about her options and she picked Gmail and went back to the computer and set it up all by herself, and got her information all filed properly in about an hour and a half – and she’d NEVER used a computer before in her LIFE.
When she was done, she came over to ask me how to turn it off and I showed her and she thanked me for being so patient, and I told her quite honestly that I’d NEVER seen a novice adult pick up using a computer so fast.
And she said “oh, but it’s so simple! And so useful! My grandkids made it sound so difficult, but I’m going to pick up my own computer tomorrow!”
And I think she must have, because I never saw her in the library again.
Anyway I hope I’m that quick when I’m 97.
this turned out so much better than i expected
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persephinae:
highpriestcrankypants:
Terry Pratchett was made an honorary Brownie and this pleases me to no end.
“ Not many men can say this,’ Terry says, proudly, ‘but as a result of The Wee Free Men I was made an honorary Brownie for writing a proper girl in a book. I’ve got a woggle and everything. No kidding.
‘Anyway, the Brownies wanted to kidnap someone famous and they decided on me because they liked Tiffany Aching. But they didn’t know how to go about it. And I thought, “All we need is a signing queue, two little girls and a yellow rubber chicken.” (I don’t know why it hasn’t been established before, but a yellow rubber chicken is the secret of all humour.)’
‘So, it’s all set up and I tell the two little Brownies, “You stand on one side of me and you on the other and just look at the camera, all sweet and innocent. Then without looking at me, one of you must raise my hat and the other has to hit me over the head with the rubber chicken. Then the first Brownie should place my hat back on my head as I slump down in the chair.”
‘The only problem was that people saw me apparently doing a signing and a massive queue built up. So then we had to explain to everyone that I wasn’t in fact doing a signing, but I would sign their books if they wouldn’t mind waiting until these two little girls had knocked me out. It was one of those surreal moments that you just treasure.’ “ (x)
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persephinae:
highpriestcrankypants:
Terry Pratchett was made an honorary Brownie and this pleases me to no end.
“ Not many men can say this,’ Terry says, proudly, ‘but as a result of The Wee Free Men I was made an honorary Brownie for writing a proper girl in a book. I’ve got a woggle and everything. No kidding.
‘Anyway, the Brownies wanted to kidnap someone famous and they decided on me because they liked Tiffany Aching. But they didn’t know how to go about it. And I thought, “All we need is a signing queue, two little girls and a yellow rubber chicken.” (I don’t know why it hasn’t been established before, but a yellow rubber chicken is the secret of all humour.)’
‘So, it’s all set up and I tell the two little Brownies, “You stand on one side of me and you on the other and just look at the camera, all sweet and innocent. Then without looking at me, one of you must raise my hat and the other has to hit me over the head with the rubber chicken. Then the first Brownie should place my hat back on my head as I slump down in the chair.”
‘The only problem was that people saw me apparently doing a signing and a massive queue built up. So then we had to explain to everyone that I wasn’t in fact doing a signing, but I would sign their books if they wouldn’t mind waiting until these two little girls had knocked me out. It was one of those surreal moments that you just treasure.’ “ (x)
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targuzzler:
there are certain mutuals that are too good for me and im continually shocked they still follow me still so thank you all
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targuzzler:
there are certain mutuals that are too good for me and im continually shocked they still follow me still so thank you all
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krawdad:
kirstenlouisemcduffie:
my dad had a skype interview today so he was sitting in the living room looking all professional in his suit and tie and everything while he’s talking to the people who are interviewing him. and OF COURSE my cat decided that she NEEDED to speak at that moment so she just starts meowing left and right and talking crazy talk to the point where the interviewers just start laughing because she just will NOT shut up. so my dad just kind of sighs, looks at the camera, and goes, “i’m so sorry. i have to ask my cat to leave.” and then he looks over at victoria and very calmly and professionally goes, “victoria, i’m afraid you’re being too loud, and i’m going to have to ask you to leave.”
and she did. she fucking turned and walked out of the living room.
“…you’re hired.”
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krawdad:
kirstenlouisemcduffie:
my dad had a skype interview today so he was sitting in the living room looking all professional in his suit and tie and everything while he’s talking to the people who are interviewing him. and OF COURSE my cat decided that she NEEDED to speak at that moment so she just starts meowing left and right and talking crazy talk to the point where the interviewers just start laughing because she just will NOT shut up. so my dad just kind of sighs, looks at the camera, and goes, “i’m so sorry. i have to ask my cat to leave.” and then he looks over at victoria and very calmly and professionally goes, “victoria, i’m afraid you’re being too loud, and i’m going to have to ask you to leave.”
and she did. she fucking turned and walked out of the living room.
“…you’re hired.”
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faunna:
I met Cherami Leigh (Makoto’s English VA) at her autograph session during Otakuthon and requested to record this.Thank you Cherami for indulging my need for memes and multishipping
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faunna:
I met Cherami Leigh (Makoto’s English VA) at her autograph session during Otakuthon and requested to record this.Thank you Cherami for indulging my need for memes and multishipping
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hlahlahlahlahly:
shorthalt:
Girls Scouts encounter Bigfoot the most frequently. Part of their oath is to keep him a secret because he’s very kind and makes up 30% of their revenue due to his fervent love for thin mints.
As a Girl Scout leader, I am telling you that this is NOT true, and any former girl scout that says it is, should think about what they are saying and what oaths they may have sworn in the past
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hlahlahlahlahly:
shorthalt:
Girls Scouts encounter Bigfoot the most frequently. Part of their oath is to keep him a secret because he’s very kind and makes up 30% of their revenue due to his fervent love for thin mints.
As a Girl Scout leader, I am telling you that this is NOT true, and any former girl scout that says it is, should think about what they are saying and what oaths they may have sworn in the past
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