gravityeyelids | Jul. 19th, 2017

Jul. 19th, 2017

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submissivefeminist:

Condoms are only 98% effective when used correctly.

Sugar can cause infections in the vagina. This means things like chocolate sauce, honey, and lubricants with glycerin can be harmful.

Having sex with an intoxicated person is legally rape in most US states, even if the person verbally consents. In the eyes of the law, drugs and alcohol impair your ability to consent to sex.

Unprotected anal sex is the most dangerous sex act when it comes to spreading STIs.

Not everyone can climax from oral sex or even likes oral sex. Don’t assume—ask your partner what they want!

Condoms expire! Check the date on the wrapper. Also, storing them in wallets is not a good idea (see #8)

If someone with a vagina has unprotected anal sex, semen can drip down into the vagina and pose a (slight, but still real) risk for pregnancy.

Do not keep condoms in your wallet. The friction and heat exposure of keeping them there can make them ineffective. Keep them somewhere cool, dry, and out of sunlight.

You should be tested for STIs with each new partner you have. Annual appointments are not enough protection if you have multiple partners in that time.

Having anal sex does not lead to a gaping asshole unless your partner is literally an elephant.

Sex with elephants is illegal. Don’t do that.

Masturbating while wearing a condom can help people with penises get used to wearing them before sex.

Penis size does not define your worth. It is not the be-all, end-all factor for most people.

In fact, lots of people with large penises have trouble having sex without hurting their partner since the average vagina size is 6”-8” when aroused (it’s only 3”-4” when not aroused!).

Your first time will almost definitely not be your best time. That’s okay, I promise.

Herpes and pubic lice can still infect you if a condom is used if testicles come in contact with a vuvla.

Only one out of three people can orgasm from receiving vaginal penetration alone. You’re not broken.

People with penises can orgasm without ejaculating.

The muscles in a vagina can be abnormally tense and cause intense pain when penetrated with a toy, penis, or tampon. This is called vaginismus and treatment for this includes relaxation therapy and using medical rods to help the muscles relax.

The number of sexual partners you have does not define you. This rule applies to all genders.

A diet of lots of dairy and meat can cause ejaculate to taste bad. Fruits that are very sweet (like pineapple) help combat this for some people. However, due to body chemistry, medications, and other factors, it might not always do the trick.

Dental dams make oral sex with someone with a vulva safer. They are thin sheets of latex and can be home-made by cutting the ends off a condom and slitting it lengthwise to make a alternative option if you don’t have access to dental dams.

The clitoris has 8,000 nerve endings in it. That’s twice that of a penis! So, go gently until encouraged to do otherwise.

Sex does not have to stop when someone ejaculates. Remove any condoms or clean up any mess, and keep going until everyone is satisfied!

Communication is the number one factor to a better, healthier sex life.

The hymen is not a bone, and does not break. It is a membrane layer that stretches. It can tear, which can lead to pain and bleeding. However, sex for the first time (or ever!) should never hurt. Go slower and focus on foreplay to increase natural lubrication.

Sexuality is fluid for a lot of people. Don’t worry about labels until you’re sure in your sexual and romantic interests. Explore freely and worry about terms later.

Orgasms release hormones that are natural pain-killers. This is why some menstruating people masturbate when they have cramps, because the body naturally reduces pain after an orgasm.

The hormones released also account for why some people cry or get very emotional after an intense orgasm. It’s totally normal.

There are limitless kinks in the world and so long as they are safe and consensual, there is nothing wrong with them.

Medications and mental health disorders can mess with your sex drive. Talk to your doctor if your sex drive has suddenly increased or decreased after starting a medication—there may be alternatives.

There is nothing “un-manly” or “gay” about enjoying anal play. Most men who try anal enjoy a little sensation in that area. People with penises also have a p-spot (prostate) and can have intense orgasms through anal penetration.

Always use lubrication generously to avoid vaginal or anal tearing.

Urinating after sex can reduce the risk of a UTI in people with vaginas.

Enjoying casual sex does not make you a bad person if you are up-front with your intentions and don’t maliciously seek to hurt others.

Condoms come in multiple sizes! It should never be loose or painfully tight.

Being sex-positive does not mean that everyone needs to enjoy sex. It simply promotes the happiness and sexual exploration (or non-exploration) of others.

Porn is not an educational guide to sex.

Certain positions feel better than others. Switch it up and find out what works for you and your partner(s).

Condoms are more likely to break if you don’t leave a reservoir tip for ejaculate.

Labia are often asymmetrical. Your long/uneven/poofy/dark labia are beautiful and there is nothing wrong with your body.

Up to 80% of people with a vagina can squirt with either g-spot or clitoral stimulation.

Drug store pregnancy tests are just as effective as brand name ones. In some cases, they’re even MORE effective.

Elevating your butt with pillows can make missionary sex easier for those of us with a big tummy or thick thighs.

Plan B does not work on people over a certain weight (160-175lbs).

There are safe alternatives to condoms or oral contraceptives. Talk to your doctor about your options.

Sex toys can open up a whole new world to folks willing to explore.

Orgasms can be highly psychological. Most people can’t climax when they’re upset or distracted.

Birth control can cause people to miss periods or spot in between periods.

Sex doesn’t have to be gentle if you don’t want it to be. There are healthy ways to explore rough sex or BDSM.

xx SF
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awesometastical101:

Yup. This is what happens when I procrastinate.
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luwha:

this blog is slowly becoming a mess
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key–of–destiny:

impureimpulse:

floridagothic:

Here is a list of random facts about Florida that prove exactly how weird of a place it is without the news stories.

In the north west there is a waterfall. The water falls from a stream for 90ft into a sink hole and disappears into the earth.

The capital of the state is filled with ancient live oaks and every spring the city turns yellow with pollen. The pollen is like a plague on the population. Even people without allergies develops allergies living there.

You’ll be floating down a river in a boat or on an inner tube when you see something fall from a tree ten feet away from you. You scramble out of the water as you see that the what you thought was a limb is now a water moccasin swimming past you.

Extensive systems of tunnels fill the landscape. They’re the hard work of the gopher tortoise. You know to never reach into one of these gopher tortoise borrows. They’re filled with rattlesnakes.

The largest native snake in Florida can reach lengths of about six or seven feet long. It is appropriately named the indigo snake for the blue sheen its black scales. Have no fear though. It is non venomous. Despite this fact, it’s diet includes rattlesnakes.

In the south, two invasive species of snakes are cross breeding to form an aggressive giant. This monstrosity will even feast on alligators.

There is a forest surrounding a spring populated with monkeys. The monkeys are not native to the state or the region. They were brought here as an attraction and left on a small island in the middle of a river. No one realized they could swim.

There are dozens of places claimed to be fountains of youth located throughout the state. One is in the north east in the oldest city in the state. It’s also the oldest European city in the country.

Ancient fish populate the rivers throughout the state. They can reach sizes of up to 10 ft in length and weigh over 300lbs. They’re jaws are like that of an alligator.

The cypress trees turn the water tannic and black. The water is so opaque you can’t see but six inches deep.

I never knew the USA had a mini Australia of its own.

@ryuuenx

MINI AUSTRALIA OH MY GOD

Bull sharks swim in our springs sometimes. They’re the only shark that can tolerate fresh water.

Twice a year, black “love bugs” come out from wherever they’re hiding and do nothing but mate. They look like catdog with how they walk. Their dead guts mess up car paint worse than bird poop.

Hurricanes, water spouts, and tornados are pretty common.

There are projectors in every classroom because when Jeb Bush was our governor, he wanted everyone in the state to be taught by one teacher per subject.

There’s at least one strawberry festival every month, but the best ones are in March. There are at least two manatee festivals a year.

Most of the animals from one of the Tarzan live action movies live in the state, usually at state parks. The hippopotamus is named Lucifer and he is a legal Florida resident. He likes watermelons.

There’s no way to live in Florida without the outside becoming the inside. There’s nothing you can do about it. Spiders and palmetto bugs will get inside no matter how much you spray or what pest company you use. Frogs and lizards will appear in your bed and bathtubs with no explanation. Snakes will somehow make it 200ft into a company building through 3 locked doors. It’s a mystery.

Walking to your car every morning with an arm raised cautiously in front of you as you go. No it’s not a Nazi salute, you’re preparing to walk through unexpected spider webs. The one day you don’t do it is the day you walk into one. That web is easily 6 feet in circumference.

Praying for the day the city finally starts spraying for mosquitoes.

Being that poor asshole that lives in the county where they don’t have a budget to spray for mosquitoes.

FUCKING GREY SQUIRRELS

Driving 45 minutes to an hour one way for work is pretty common. Driving 2 hours one way is not unheard of.

Pretty sure it’s impossible to be more than an hour and a half away from the coast.

It’s actually 91 degree F outside, feels like 110, and you’re wearing a sweater in your clerical office because they set the A/C to 68. Condensation on building windows is a common occurrence in the summer.

Long-term residents genuinely do not give two fucks about a hurricane unless it’s a category four. Three-hour afternoon squalls can do more damage than a category two. You can drive through a category one and not even realize you’re under an alert until you see the news the next morning.

That feel when you’re new to Florida and driving through an afternoon rainstorm for the first time, and the wipers are on high, you’re doing 20 mph, and you still can’t see.

That feel when you’re a long-term resident and some friends from out west come visit and comment on how dark the sky is, and you’re like bitch, that’s barely gray, does your sky never actually turn black during a rainstorm? There are literally storms that roll through that make it feel like night has fallen at 11 in the morning, it’s terrifying when you’re not used to it.

Seriously everyone in Florida is pretty immune to the idea of death, we walk past it constantly

Of the top 30 cities in the US with the most lightning, Florida has 17 of them.

Florida loves food festivals. In addition to the above mentioned strawberry festival, there’s also multiple seafood festivals, a peanut festival, giant shiitake mushroom festival, several chocolate festivals, a kumquat festival, a zucchini festival, and festivals for corn, honey, wine, swamp cabbage, sour oranges, pumpkins, tomatoes, catfish, pigs, watermelon, oysters, grapes, flan and a hell of a lot more.

Did I mention palmetto bugs are 2 inch roaches that can fly

Me: *lives in Miami; experiencing none of this*

Mysteriously digging up a skeleton while working in your backyard, it’s ok though because on your local beach there were a lot more bodies excavated there.

There’s haunted doll that lives in a old fort which is now a museum, you have to ask his permission for a picture and he has an official holiday.

In key west there are infinite cats, infinite roosters and infinite cigar stands. 3 roosters live in my yard and somehow our local dumpster cat has killed none of them.

Palm rats, extremely large for a rat. Key deer, extremely small for a deer.

Local sugarcane companies and cattle farmers have created a toxic algae sludge that causes organ failure, it’s found all along the silver coast, slowly killing people who live there.

Key lime pie is a way of life.

In key west there is a large scale festival once a month, one is a week long and called fantasy fest. This includes body painting which causes throngs of naked people covered in paint to litter the island.

Seems like every week a new sink hole opens and you somehow don’t find it odd at all after a while, they are sometimes lovingly dubbed “hellmouths”

If you don’t bury people deep enough the bodies unearth themselves during heavy flossing and rain.

Large frogs that excrete hallucinogenic mucus and sound like loud speakers pumping bass. My dog used to bite them and trip for the next day or so.

On the topic of hallucinogenic things, the angels trumpet flower, which has cause people to jump off buildings and amputate their own limbs.

Run in zig zags

There are so many strip clubs and adult stores you literally could not imagine life without seeing one once a day. They are often close to local churches.

Gatorland.

Our governor, who looks like Lord Voldemort, was involved in overseeing one of the largest cases of health care fraud in US history, involving a $1.7 billion settlement, before he was elected. He has since been reelected and is in his second term.

Apparently other parts of the country do not have an entire wall in their local grocery stores dedicated exclusively to orange juice.

The sun is so tremendously powerful that almost-black freshly paved asphalt is burned into the same lighter gray as the surrounding asphalt in a matter of weeks.

We have, almost certainly, the worst and most hostile drivers in the country.

Someone above mentioned that it is 91 degrees F outside. This is misleading because that is our outdoor temperature at night. In the dead of winter. It’s also never below 75% humidity.

Florida is so oppressively hot and humid that the air actually does not feel or smell like air. Florida has its own local atmosphere composed of sweat and the vaporized particles of everything that has direct sun exposure. This includes garbage, asphalt, concrete, paint, wood, and people.

But The Shade Is Where The Mosquitoes Dwell.

You have been to at least most of the theme parks in Orlando, multiple times each. You know your favorite two or three as intimately as your own home, and get very defensive around people who have different favorites.

“Pool Parties” were more common than birthday parties growing up.

If you are still in high school, you likely know of several dozen people who just wear bathing suits under their school uniforms on Fridays, so they can take their clothes off in the parking lot on their way to the beach immediately after school.

More than 50% of the people you know, at least at some point in their life, have owned or had immediate access to a swimming pool.

You can tell how many tourists have used a public pool by the degree to which sunscreen has altered the consistency of the water.

During the summer, you have seen licence plates from all 50 states, and Canada. Yes, including Hawaii. You are not sure how. You don’t question it.

You can tell how far north a tourist has come from by the secondhand pain you experience based on the particular hue of their sunburn.

If you think about it, you have actually never seen asphalt directly – it is always obscured by the waves of heat visibly rising from it at all times.

North Florida is the Deep South. Central Florida is the midwest. West Florida is the Pacific Northwest. Southeast Florida is a mix between New England and Southern California. Miami is north Cuba.

There is one particular city in central south Florida that thinks it is Texas. Slighty south of it is a wealthier area which also has a southern aesthetic, but with a lot of horses. Southwest Florida is the Everglades, which means it is uninhabitable swamp full of alligators, crocodiles, a dangerous outbreak of invasive pythons, Many Many Bugs, and other wildlife.

Of all the wildlife in Florida, you probably feel least threatened or annoyed by the alligators and crocodiles. At least they keep to themselves.

Speaking of crocodiles, this headline is not particularly out of the ordinary:

Speaking of Florida News, there is a wikipedia page dedicated to the Bath Salts Zombie Incident: http://ift.tt/1HFZF8S

Here is a very, very partial list of Florida Man’s various misadventures. My personal favorites from this list are:

“Florida Man attempts to leave store with chainsaw stuffed down his pants” "Florida Man caught with “active” meth lab in his pants” and in an accurate summary of our politics,

“Florida Man, once arrested for fighting drag queen with a tiki torch while dressed like KKK member, now running for mayor.”

There are at least five different animal species that permanently reside inside your home, and that’s not including any pets you might keep voluntarily. You have learned to live with some of the spiders, because at least they eat some of the bugs. You actually like the geckos, because they eat more of the bugs and some of the spiders, without being as creepy. There are probably another dozen or so species that do not permanently reside in your home, but make unexpected guest appearances from time to time.

The indoor temperature is several degrees higher than whatever you’ve set the thermostat to, simply because the AC cannot actually keep up with the Merciless Death Ray From Above.

You do not, and never will tolerate the two inch long cockroaches. Your fear to annoyance ratio when the next one inevitably appears is directly proportional to how easy it will be to kill in its current location.
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poly-hebdo:

Bastion wiki Quotes Page is what I live for
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thefingerfuckingfemalefury:

pettyblackboy:

munakwin:

oneman-wolfpackk:

the reason for the existence of this hashtag is sad but some of these are hilarious. the little caesars one got me

“even when the wind blew”
i’m fucking done

These are fucking golden

This is fabulous :D
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fuzzynecromancer:

scoobydoosuggestion:

Maybe there’s someone in this abandoned clown factory who can help us

I experience rising difficulty in distinguishing fandom shitposts from commentary on US politics.
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vampireapologist:

I want to run a 2 hour History Channel special on finding the My Immortal author OR I want an entire x-files meets gravity falls documentary made about me meeting up with anonymous informants until I find the author. People die.
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ultralaser:

tilthat:

TIL that the 19th century London campaign for sanitary reform and delivering clean water was opposed by critics as “a deduction from the charms of freedom.” The Times daily argued it was preferable to “take a chance with cholera than be bullied into health.”

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handsomedogs:

This is Eleanor, she is a long-haired dachshund, and she is a bundle of energy and joy. We are so beyond lucky to have her.
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nessamiibo:

damn I wish amazon would deliver arms to me

how did you type this without arms
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sirblakeney:

Kirsten Dunst as Marie Antoinette, photographed by Andrew Durham
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thebibliosphere:

teapotdragon:

thebibliosphere:

lethalsaber:

wigglyflippingout:

in your next piece of writing, eloquently describe a fart as a “butt sigh” in a poignant and tender fashion, as seriously as one possibly can.

then continue the scene as if you’ve done nothing out of the ordinary

@thebibliosphere I feel like this would make you laugh

I’m trying to work out where this would fit into my narrative and all I can think of is using it as a homophone.

“All he could do was butt sigh and carefully move on, leaving the despair behind him in his wake”

I am annoyed and charmed by a fart joke. How dare you and bravo?

*bows*
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marsixm:

good morning i regret to inform everyone it is in fact another fucking day
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I’ll take this one since I’m the blog’s resident Jew. Oy vey, where do I start…

SJ community loves to police Jewish identity and silence actual Jews when they talk about their own identities. This usually happens in context of either “Are Jews White?” or “Jewishness is just a religion” conversations. In reality, Jews are an ethnoreligious group that ethnically originated in the middle east, and while some ethnic Jews have light skin, it’s actually due to centuries of forced assimilation in European and Slavic countries through rape, which is a big reason why Jewishness is matrilineal. Furthermore, there exist Jews who do not look white at all. There are black, brown, and asian Jews who are all ethnically Jewish, and these conversations erase them.

“Jewish privilege”. Fact: It’s not a thing. It’s actually a very common anti-semitic trope that says that Jews run everything so they are not oppressed. Jews are oppressed, and face anti-semitic violence.

“Anti-semitism is not just about Jews, there are other semitic people.” While yea, there are other semitic people, the term “anti-semitism” was created by Germans in the 19th century to refer specifically to the hatred of Jews because it sounded more scientific.

Blaming anti-semitic violence in Europe on the actions of Israel. I see this literally every single day on this site, and it’s very upsetting. Jews that live in the diaspora are not responsible for Israel’s actions, and especially should not be suffering at the hands of white people in Europe under the guise of anti-zionism.

Finally, and this is a big pet peeve of mine. The only people I ever see reblogging posts about anti-semitism are other Jews. Even a lot of my non-Jewish followers will reblog posts about racism, sexism, homophobia, etc. but ignore posts about anti-semitism, and that as a Jew makes me feel unsafe.

That’s enough for now. If you’re interested in learning more about Jewish identity and anti-semitism, you are welcome to check out my personal blog: yochevedke. I discuss that stuff a lot.

-Yeva
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breadsprinkles:

sorry to hear about your struggles, EmoCumLord 666
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hi-can-i-take-your-bullshit:

mizumanta:

shingeki-no-helpme:

jellybabiesandjammiedodgers:

apathbetweenthestars:

Source

brb drowning myself in the toilet

THE ONE WRITTEN BY JESUS

I AM VERY CONFIDENT I AM IN STARBUCKS RIGHT NOW

i don’t know if we’ve reblogged this already but it can be reblogged again
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