hvlth-gxth: showerthoughtsofficial: Do “flat

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hvlth-gxth:

showerthoughtsofficial:

Do “flat earthers” think all the planets are flat or just the Earth?

Fuckin goofball thinks there’s other planets.
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tosquinha:squad goal

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tosquinha:

squad goal
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partybarackisinthehousetonight: “I

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partybarackisinthehousetonight:

“I OBJECT!!!!” the defendant screams in court. the judge gives him a very emotional hug and says “no…you human”
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spyadults:the scariest president had to be Rushmore because he had four heads

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spyadults:

the scariest president had to be Rushmore because he had four heads
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pyrebomb: “Ship means something you want to see

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pyrebomb:

“Ship means something you want to see happen.” Bitch, no it don’t. This weird-ass modern culture of lobbying show-runners to make your ship canon didn’t emerge until the advent of social media. (And recent social media like twitter, not shit-you-forgot-existed like MySpace.) Shipping and fandom in general have been around much longer, so you can stop acting like “this is the way it has always been uwu” right the fuck now.

Until relatively recently, most fans I’ve known have been perfectly okay with their ships never being canon. I, personally, would be actively offended if certain ships of mine became canon. That is not why I ship them. What I want from canon and what I want from fandom are often entirely different things that only intersect on the margins.That is why fanworks are called “transformative” ffs.
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Actually genuinenly enjoying my customer service job sometimes

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gunlord500:

uncannycookie:

Customer (calling from Ireland): “Yes hello, I would like to -”

Sheep in the background: *gentle baa*

Customer: “Uh, sorry, what I want to do is -”

Sheep: *slightly more insistent baa*

Customer: “No, not now! -cough- Excuse me. I have a reservation and -”

Sheep: *VERY LOUD ACCUSATORY BAA*

Customer: “Arnulf! Please be quiet, I am on the phone! … Sorry, I sincerely apologize on behalf of Arnulf.”

me: “I love and forgive him.”

Customer: “Don’t, he doesn’t deserve it. Anyway, I’m calling about -”

Arnulf: *small, very self-satisfied baa*

@bantarleton 
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potato: potato: stephaniexwins: I made stew. It was awesome. I love potatoes. i luv u too wait...

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potato:

potato:

stephaniexwins:

I made stew. It was awesome. I love potatoes.

i luv u too

wait what was in the stew
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i-have-no-gender-only-rage: I have a lot of 13 and 14 year olds following me so here is a message...

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i-have-no-gender-only-rage:

I have a lot of 13 and 14 year olds following me so here is a message for them 

don’t do drugs even though tumblr makes it look cool

mental illness is romanticized on here but please get help if you think you have one

even if it looks like everyone knows what their label is it is ok not to know 

please focus on school but not so hard you have a mental break down every night   

Smoking is not cool

cutting is not cool get help

eating disorders can kill you get help

if you think about dying or killing yourself that is not normal and get help

if your friends treat you like shit find new ones
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avpdnoise: depression meals™ and depression

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avpdnoise:

depression meals™ and depression shows™ are a thing but what about depression video games™?

The Sims Obsession. you think maybe 2 hours have passed. you look at the clock. it’s been 3 days

wanting to play your favourite game but instead just listening to the music for 3 hours straight

solitaire on your phone for 50 minutes while listening to sad music (or the video game music)

starting up old favourite games and then exiting out of them once you see the menu

spending two hours making a new character in an rpg and then realizing you can’t be bothered to actually play the game

an amazing new video game, one that you’ve been waiting for for months. it takes you 3 days to finish a 40+ hour game because anything that makes you feel this good and distracted is immediately an obsession. once you finish the game you feel absolutely dead inside
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I meant to do this ages ago when I finished the game, but here are some of my favorite atmospheric..

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I meant to do this ages ago when I finished the game, but here are some of my favorite atmospheric screenshots from Dreamfall Chapters:

The game opening

This made me happy because I’ve never seen a game with a synagogue in it before.

While Stark is my favorite world, Arcadia is just so pretty.
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Photo

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vikingofficial:Dabbing is just a conspiracy by medical professionals to get people to sneeze into...

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vikingofficial:

Dabbing is just a conspiracy by medical professionals to get people to sneeze into their elbow to prevent the spread of disease
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thefingerfuckingfemalefury:“DON’T ANYONE

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thefingerfuckingfemalefury:

“DON’T ANYONE TRY TO STEAL IT”
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fedoramoron: what are we????WRITERS!!!!!!what are we gonna do????WRITE!!!!!!!!!!when are we gonna...

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fedoramoron:

what are we????WRITERS!!!!!!
what are we gonna do????WRITE!!!!!!!!!!
when are we gonna do it????????
//distant sobbing
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maxiesatanofficial: he’s been split into his Law

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maxiesatanofficial:

he’s been split into his Law half and his Chaos half and his friends set them up on a blind date to fuse him back to normal
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ccakey:I love Adam Savage so much y'all

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ccakey:

I love Adam Savage so much y'all
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sashayed: so yesterday i was at my desk and some intern brought in an absolutely gorgeous bouquet...

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sashayed:

so yesterday i was at my desk and some intern brought in an absolutely gorgeous bouquet of BIRTHDAY FLOWERS! 

aren’t they lovely? they were accompanied by a heartfelt, slightly alarming but very encouraging note signed only “me.” I was like??????? Mystery????? Secret admirer????? I checked with friends and parents, but nobody copped to it. I spent all day happily wondering about this, until I got home and checked my email and found (you guessed it) a delivery confirmation. For an order received at 1am on a Wednesday in December. Yes: it was me. I am the secret admirer, probably riding off a wine-fuzzed crying jag on a work night a month after the election, and this is where I decided to put that energy. and then i IMMEDIATELY forgot because my attention span can be measured in negative digits. 

At first I was like “well that’s disappointing,” but then i thought, Actually, this is the best? Thanks, sad drunk me! Way to pay it forward (to yourself!) I love you, too.

ps I gotta share this card with u guys. I can’t believe I didn’t realize AT ONCE that it was from me because it’s just so OTT deranged in its affirmational enthusiasm:

POWERFUL! LUMINOUS! MAGNETIC!!! CAPABLE AND DESERVING OF GREATNESS! ME LOVE ME!!! HAPPME BIRTHMEDAYME!!!!!!
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baskerville-leviathan: Have I ever mentioned that this man is a...

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baskerville-leviathan:

Have I ever mentioned that this man is a genius? No?
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rihardgansey:I might not be the coolest, smartest or

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rihardgansey:

I might not be the coolest, smartest or prettiest but for sure I’m the sleepiest.
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chumimiin: chumimiin: concept: im in the kitchen cooking our dinner, delicious aromas filling our...

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chumimiin:

chumimiin:

concept: im in the kitchen cooking our dinner, delicious aromas filling our small but well loved homespace. meanwhile youre playing with our two soft and fluffy dogs in the living room. i smile in anticipation as i hear the doorbell ring and ronald mcdonald comes through the door and plows me right on the dining table. 
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s-a-o-r-s-a: Dean Village, Edinburgh, Scotland

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s-a-o-r-s-a:

Dean Village, Edinburgh, Scotland
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catsuggest: lucifurfluffypants: lucifurfluffypants: After...

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catsuggest:

lucifurfluffypants:

lucifurfluffypants:

After which Mom promptly put the lid on the jar.

MAN TOWN

sometimes just need to snif the man town ok
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krakenpocalypse: capacity: pisshets: This picture has a...

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krakenpocalypse:

capacity:

pisshets:

This picture has a refreshing energy

It is inspiring and gives me the courage to keep fighting.

This picture reminds me that strange ladies in ponds distributing swords is no way to run a government.
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revolver-ossified:He literally thinks he was just threatened...

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revolver-ossified:

He literally thinks he was just threatened with cannibalism
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locksandglasses: I feel like whenever women complain about men, they speak about things that men...

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locksandglasses:

I feel like whenever women complain about men, they speak about things that men have done to them.

However when men complain about women, they speak about things that women HAVEN’T done FOR them.

I think that’s an important distinction.
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