gravityeyelids | Sep. 27th, 2016

Sep. 27th, 2016

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betteportr:

The most disrespected person in America is the black woman.
The most unprotected person in America is the black woman.
The most neglected person in America is the black woman.

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blathh:

Actually love this lip colour. Standard goth slut aesthetic.

twitter / instagram || godsgirls / amateurporn || xpp / cb

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fakepreme:

traffic sign: NO U TURN

me: no, U turn ;)

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- Trump starting off trying to sound even-toned and presidential, but quickly devolving-THIS TWEET:

-Trump interjecting “WRONG” periodically as Hillary speaks-Trump interrupting himself even more than he interrupts Hillary-Lester Holt admonishing the audience for applauding-Lester Holt fact checking Trump-Lester Holt trying to keep things on topic but mostly getting talked over-Hillary not letting Trump speak over her-Trump only brought up her emails once and didn’t mention Benghazi. Amazing.-From WIRED’s liveblog: “Wow, Trump pivots away from Clinton’s emails and takes the bait to defend how much money he has—Clinton’s team must be cheering.”-Trump saying “semi-exactly”-The fact that so many people were fact checking this debate that factchecker.org went down-The debate center charged journalists $200 for wi-fi???-A news commentator at the end said Hillary was “almost TOO prepared” which what does that even mean???????-Trump giving the EXACT WRONG answer to the question about race relations (increase the police force? REALLY?)-Hillary’s mic drop moments-I mean, come on: “I think Donald just criticized me for preparing for this debate. And yes, I did. And you know what else I prepared for? I prepared to be president and i think that’s a good thing” (thanks to WIRED for the direct quote)-Trump saying he isn’t braggadocious and everyone watching with me goes OMG THAT’S THE PERFECT WORD TO DESCRIBE HIM-Trump saying ISIS has been around for Hillary’s entire adult life-My sister saying "Wow I didn’t know Hillary was born in 2000 like I was”-Trump responding to the last question, which was “Will you support the outcome of the election no matter what the people choose?” with a paragraph about immigration.-Trump trying to save face from saying Hillary doesn’t have a presidential look by saying she doesn’t have stamina. -“When he spends 11 hours testifying in front of a congressional committee, then he can talk to me about stamina.”-Hillary saying she has a fact checker on her website… Somehow, that doesn’t seem like the most unbiased source-Trump wants us to be better at cybering, apparently-Trump suggesting that MAYBE it was 400 pound neckbeards who hacked our government servers??-Hillary saying “I made a mistake,” which is a weird but refreshing thing to hear out of a politicians mouth and all of them should say that more instead of digging themselves into holes-Trump wants better infrastructure, schools, hospitals, but also doesn’t want taxes-More things that I can’t think of-Look, Hillary definitely has a lot of problems and some shady stuff in the past. But this isn’t even a competition. Trump should not and CAN NOT be president PLEASE-Feel free to add to this!

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bisexualityislegit:

respecting their sexuality

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tillerboomin:

This is so fucking cute.

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knerdy-knitter:

feminismandhappiness:

reginaeinferos:

tresa-cho:

medie:

swingandswirl:

elementalisman:

dragonlioness:

nitrostreak:

benkling:

jewishzevran:

benkling:

benkling:

to repair the metaphor it’ll need to be “cars invented specifically to kill people”

they’re called tanks and they’re…frowned upon

BEEP BEEP IT’S A HOBBY

i mean…not all guns are designed to kill people. some are designed to kill animals. like, ya know. for food.

I’M JUST A HUMBLE SETTLER TRYNA PUT A FOX ON THE TABLE FOR MY WIFE AND KIDS

EXCEPT THAT ARGUMENT IS BULLSHIT

CARS ARE FUCKING REGULATED TO HELL AND BACK

THEY HAVE TO HAVE SEAT BELTS

YOU HAVE TO /WEAR/ THE SEAT BELTS

YOU HAVE TO TRAIN FOR A YEAR IN HOW TO USE ONE

YOU HAVE TO PASS A TEST TO PROVE YOU KNOW HOW TO USE ONE

IF YOU FUCK UP AND USE IT IRRESPONSIBLY, THERE ARE FINES AND YOUR LICENSE CAN BE REVOKED

THIS WHOLE FUCKING ARGUMENT IS BULLSHIT

Also, there are MORE DANGEROUS vehicles and those are EVEN MORE regulated!

You can’t drive your race car on the roads! You have to trailer them to and from race tracks

Cars DID KILL A FUCK TON OF PEOPLE, and honestly still do, so you know what we did?

We created a whole fucking government agency to regulate them (see: Department of Motor Vehicles), We created laws to govern their responsible use (it hasn’t ENDED ALL misuse but it sure as fuck decreased the commonality of accidents/deaths) We have police ESPECIALLY DEDICATED to patrolling and keeping an eye on people who use cars to make sure they’re using them correctly!

So no, maybe we didn’t outright BAN cars, BUT WE TOOK A RESPONSIBLE FUCKING STEP AND CREATED REGULATIONS AND LAWS AND STUDIED CAUSES OF MOTOR VEHICLE DEATHS

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Excellent discourse but that beep beep tank image is fucking killing me XD

Not to mention that we don’t have a lobby dedicated to dismantling any effort to regulate the sales of cars while citing a completely half-assed interpretation of a law written in a completely different time and in very different circumstances. (Seriously, the most reliable way to kill people with an old-timey gun was to bludgeon them to death with it. They are not the same thing as goddamned assault rifles.)

Also? In order to drive a car I have to be licensed, yes, but I also have to carry insurance just in case I do something negligent and harm someone else with my vehicle.

let’s see gun insurance become a thing. You wanna be a responsible gun owner the way I am a responsible driver?

Start paying hundreds of dollars a year in insurance.

(and then I get to watch the wwe smackdown between the gun lobby and the insurance industry *gets popcorn* cause I’m thinking after those companies have to pay out a few million for mass shootings…shit’s gonna get real)

also there are no restrictions on scientific research on how cars kill people

I HAVE SAID THIS SHIT FOR A LONG TIME. You can keep guns but we want them REGULATED.

The best that could be done is get rid of guns entirely. Countries that have no guns don’t have mass shootings and accidental children’s deaths by gunfire. And their societies don’t collapse bc “OH YOYRE TAKING AWAY PEOPELS MEANS OF DIFENSE!!!”, in fact they’re less violent and there’s less crime.
Btw are there really restrictions on scientific research on how guns kill people??? O.o

Yup. Can’t remember the specific legislation off the top of my head, but I’m pretty sure the CDC (I think it affects all federal agencies but it’d be the CDC that’d be doing the research) is banned from collecting *any* data on gun violence/deaths. Unsurprisingly, the legislation can be tied directly to the NRA.

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tastefullyoffensive:

(via gallowboob)

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kaylawoloszyn:

This is an actual tweet, from an actual police station..

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casualstarwhale:

dimetrodone:

18. Alien Girl

How come in almost every humanoid alien species, no matter how different or monstrous the males are, the females always look like a woman with added limbs/antennae/weird skin

Ive had this idea for a while in which an alien race had sexual dimorphism/gender roles very similar to human ones, only the sterotypically masculine ones were the females and vice versa. And when humans make contact with them people assumed that the pink ones with what look like boobs were females, and the aliens think human males are female.

So like any soft sci fi there begin to form interspecies relationships between the humans and aliens, only for them to later find out that they have been in same sex relationships the whole time, causing much sexual confusion between both species.

Wtf is wrong with me

Nice!

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ephitania:

dukeofellington:

canecadet:

thetrippytrip:

Even in death you cannot respect a woman enough to use her name. How disgusting.

Jesus fucking Christ. She was a real life WARRIOR and the only thing these people value is her physical aesthetic. You have got to be fucking kidding me.

I cannot fucking believe this, she was a 19-year-old Kurdish woman with a name. NINETEEN-fucking-years-old and she led an all-female battalion against known ISIS groups in Syria, and they comment on her appearance before her rank, her age and don’t even use her fucking name?
RIP Asia Ramazan Antar, you will be remembered.

So disrespectful.

RIP Asia Ramazan Antar, you will be remembered.

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earlpostsaboutwhatever:

WHAT IS GOING ON HERE

NEVER HAVE I HAD MORE QUESTIONS ABOUT A SINGLE IMAGE

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earlpostsaboutwhatever:

eleanorose123:

when you reblog your own post cause it didn’t get notes

YOUUUUUU LOOK AT IT

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thatsthat24:

supupdog:

thomassandersbuttblog:

Trying to Make Friends: The Game 🎮

but if they stay then you know they really your friend

You know what? Yes. That is a beautiful addition to this vine. Thank you.

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dead-men-talking:

tjwock:

verycunninglinguist:

fuckyeahfeminists:

nitanahkohe:

this is the abridged pop quiz i’m giving my students tomorrow, in intro to ethnic studies—i would really encourage my non-native followers to consider these questions as well, and to challenge themselves in trying to answer these without the help of the internet (of course look it up later, but i think it’s important to take a minute and recognize things we are ignorant on before blindly googling it).

i’m also doing a class-wide (image-based) quiz to see who can name famous Native people versus Indian mascots, and culturally appropriative fashion brands versus the cultures from which the trendy item in question originates. i have an hour and fifteen minutes to cover all Native experiences of racism post-1850—that in and of itself is a racist requirement of me. what i have learned to do with the time allotted to me is push students to recognize just how incredibly ignorant they are re: Native peoples, cultures, and political issues, rather than try to cram a bunch of stuff in their heads. It’s better for them to walk out stunned and humbled at how little they all know than with frantically scrawled notes they’re not gonna keep or remember.

I would fail this quiz so hard.

Bolding mine.

This is beautiful, and if I ever get back into teaching I am stealing this idea for every class possible.

I love this. So important.

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odamakilock:

Sorry to break in with this on a very much Sherlock-only kind of blog- I promise not to make a regular thing of this, but this is something that’s happened TWICE now.

This is Beyli. He’s a two-month old foal and he’s adorable. He belongs to a friend of the family.

So adorable, in fact, that a member of the public spent a nice afternoon feeding him. You feed the ducks and that’s ok. right? It’s a nice thing to do.

They fed him turnip. He choked and gave himself a stomachache as a result.

The problem is that horses can’t really burp and horses can’t vomit. Their digestive systems are fine-tuned and when they go wrong, they go really wrong. Colic in horses is difficult to treat and in Beyli’s case, like many others, proved to be insurmountable. With pain medicine not working, after 4 hours of doing their best with no improvement, the vet called time on his suffering rather than let him go on to a very slow and painful end.

A horse needlessly suffered and died because someone fed him the wrong thing. They weren’t necessarily malicious, they were just hugely ignorant. And worse, they were hugely entitled. There were already signs asking people not to feed the animals. As I said, this has now happened TWICE to the same family, and they’re by no means alone.

PLEASE Don’t feed horses that don’t belong to you.

Horses can have disorders, diabetes, allergies and dietry requirements and you have NO IDEA if what you’re giving them is acceptable or not. Even ‘safe’ things like carrot and apple could be ‘wrong’ for this particular horse. Grass clippings? Not okay. Grain? Not okay for a horse that hasn’t been regularly eating it.

Don’t assume. i have seen walkers pull up random plants and offer them over the fence INCLUDING TOXIC, DEADLY weeds like ragwort. I’ve seen horses offered dog-biscuits and bread. I’ve heard of horses being regularly fed by strangers thinking they were being under-fed, when the horse in question was on a vet-given diet to control weight and other conditions.

Don’t feed horses that don’t belong to you even little treats and things like sugar cubes because it gives them bad manners. They start biting and harassing people. It’s bad for their teeth and too much sugar is terrible for them.

In some places if the owner has liability insurance, if you can be identified, YOU will be legally responsible for the vet’s bills. And if you’re thinking ‘well, they’d never identify me’, then that’s besides the point.

Please. You wouldn’t feed someone’s dog without asking, I hope. You definitely wouldn’t feed someone else’s child.

TL;DR: Don’t feed other people’s horses. You can make them SERIOUSLY ill. Treat animals in fields like animals at the zoo: you’re welcome to look, but don’t meddle with their care.

PLEASE DON’T FEED OTHER PEOPLE’S HORSES.

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mediamattersforamerica:

On Fox, Tump doubles down on his attacks of Alicia Machado saying, “She gained a massive amount of weight, and it was a real problem.”

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marauders4evr:

Okay but why do all of Trump’s facial expressions look like he just watched his brother turn a stick into a living, breathing, snake:

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mutethepanda:

procrastinates:

troylers-bae:

backthatassbuttup:

edgebug:

(x)

well it took me about 2 seconds to reblog this

HOLY FUCK

????????????

!!!!!!!!!!!!

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refinery29:

It’s been over a hundred years in the making, but the new Smithsonian museum celebrating Black history finally opened this weekend

Way back in 1929, President Hoover approved a proposal for a National Memorial Building for African American achievements in arts and sciences — but Congress did not. Congress didn’t officially pass an act to erect a federally owned museum until 2003. Ground wasn’t broken until nine years later, with a little help from President Obama.

READ MORE

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sheisraging:

I cannot believe that Donald Trump is a presidential candidate and people are still undecided between he and the Hillary Clinton. The woman who is standing up there and clearly, effortlessly refuting all his bullshit, who understands what needs to be done, and who knows how government works.

Flawed though she may be, there is a perfectly clear choice in this election.

This man knows nothing. He has answered no questions with anything relevant. This is bullshit, circular nonsense and childishness. We cannot have this man-baby running the country. This is ridiculous.

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ursaeinsilviscacant:

memelovingbot:

oh you love smol birb? name 5 of his albums

1. Give Me All The Seeds

2. Four AM Is The Time For Yelling

3. Five AM Is Also The Time For Yelling

4. Cats Are Bad

5. Six AM Is Actually The New Best Yelling Time

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refinery29:

Donald Trump, a man who has never been elected to any public office, just tried to describe the Presidency to Hillary Clinton, the most over qualified candidate in the history of our country.

Gifs: NBC News

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touchofstarquality:

zombres:

#i tell you the character design of the henley under a rolled-up shirt under a waistcoat: fox animation was NOT messing around #they knew what they were doing in the ‘let’s make him hot though’ department

Its great because I remember in some interview they talked about how they gave him a broken nose because they thought he was literally too attractive so they had to ‘normalize’ him in some way.

Like someone said, “our leading man is too hot, we need to tone him down”

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priorwaltering:

benafflecksgf:

benafflecksgf:

you: I want a sugar daddyme, an intellectual: i have a need for a glucose father

everyone reblogging this and saying its “sucrose.” listen you clowns. listen. i don’t give a mcfuckadoodle doo about your correct terminology you science SJW freaks. it’s glucose or fucking die

the people reblogging and saying “sucrose” are actually working with a shallow understanding of the concept of sugar. sucrose is, specifically, table sugar. but “sugar” is a term for a family of molecules, including glucose. just because it’s a simple sugar that one is unlikely to find in a kitchen doesn’t make it less applicable for use in this post. sucrose isn’t “sugar”, it’s a sugar, as are glucose, fructose, galactose, maltose, and lactose. you could use any of these and the post’s internal logic would hold up. nowhere in the phrase “sugar daddy” does it indicate that we’re referring to a table sugar daddy. the original post is scientifically sound

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“

after Joy Harjo

I am not ready to die yet: magnolia tree
going wild outside my kitchen window
& the dog needs a house, &, by the way,
I just met you, my sisters & I
have things to do, & I need
to talk on the phone with my brother. Plant a tree.
& all the things I said I’d get better at.

In other words, I am not ready to die yet
because didn’t we say we’d have a picnic
the first hot day, I mean,
the first really, really hot day?
Taqueria. & swim, kin,
& mussel & friend, don’t you go, go, no.

Today we saw the dead bird, & stopped for it.
& the airplanes glided above us. & the wind
lifted the dead bird’s feathers.

I am not ready to die yet.
I want to live longer knowing that wind
still moves a dead bird’s feathers.
Wind doesn’t move over & say That thing
can’t fly. Don’t go there. It’s dead.
No, it just blows & blows lifting
what it can. I am not ready
to die yet. No.

I want to live longer.
I want to love you longer, say it again,
I want to love you longer
& sing that song

again. & get pummeled by the sea
& come up breathing & hot sun
& those walks & those kids
& hard laugh, clap your hands.
I am not ready to die yet.

Give me more dreams. To taste the fig.
To hear the coyote, closer.
I am not ready to die yet.
But when I go, I’ll go knowing
there will be a next time. I want

to be like the cactus fields
I drove through in Arizona.
If I am a cactus, be the cactus
I grow next to, arms up,
every day, let me face you,
every day of my cactus life.

& when I go or you go,
let me see you again somewhere,
or you see me.

Isn’t that you, old friend, my love?
you might say, while swimming in some ocean
to the small fish at your ankle.
Or, Weren’t you my sister once?
I might say to the sad, brown dog who follows me down
the street. Or to the small boy
or old woman or horse eye
or to the tree. I know you I knew I know you, too
I’m saying, could this be what makes me stop
in front of thatdogwood, train whistle, those curtains
blowing in that window. See now,
there go some eyes you knew once
riding the legs of another animal,
wearing its blue sky, magnolia,
wearing its bear or fine
or wolf-wolf suit, see,
somewhere in the night a mouth is singing
You remind me You remind me
& the heart flips over in the dusky sea of its chest
like a fish signaling, Yes, yes it was me!
&, yes, it was, & you were there, & are here now,
yes, honey, yes hive, yes I will, Jack,
see you again, even if it’s a lie, don’t
let me know, not yet, not ever, I need to think
I’ll see you, oh,
see you
again.

”
- “I Am Not Ready to Die Yet,” Aracelis Girmay
(via commovente)

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tikkunolamorgtfo:

femme-with-cherries:

tenderly-sinning:

ngithandamina:

middle-eastt:

This is the type of news I like waking up to :’)

all the shade thank u yes good more content like this

those people saying “this is petty it’s about sportsmanship” should take note that Israel barred the Palestinian team from taking all of their equipment of the country meaning they had to buy everything new in Brazil

Yea, can we not act like this is some sort of Palestinian solidarity? All of these countries have expelled their Jewish populations and also treat Palestinian refugees like shit. This is plain old antisemitism.

If these were stories about Palestinian athletes refusing to compete with Israelis, I would not have any harsh words, because they have every right to protest their treatment by the Israeli government.

But Lebanese, Syrian, Egyptian, and Saudi athletes reacting to Israelis this way is nothing but pure antisemitism. Many of the Israeli athletes competing in the Olympics, including Or Sasson (the judoka pictured above), are Mizrahi—i.e. Jews who hail from Middle Eastern and North African communities. As @femme-with-cherries said, all of these countries expelled their Jewish populations, which resulted in the majority of MENA Jews seeking refuge in Israel (more than half of all Israelis are of African or Middle Eastern extraction).

So here’s the thing: If you ethnically cleanse Jews from your country, you don’t get to make a judgment on the nationality they adopted as a result of your kicking them out. That doesn’t mean you have to like Israel, but it does mean that singling out and isolating Israelis in this context is antisemitic, because the message is essentially that you would rather have seen the Jews you expelled from your country die than go to the only place that was willingly to take them in; we can’t win.

You know how we criticize the U.S. for destabilizing regions and then having the gaul to balk at refugees who are fleeing from the aftermath of those interventions? Well, the same principal applies here. You can’t get mad that Jews became Israelis when you’re the reason their families fled to Israel in the first place.

Also, Israel is the only country getting this treatment despite not being the only country guilty of human rights abuses. There was a Tunisian tennis player not too long ago who refused to play an Israeli, but in these Olympics, the Tunisian Judoka had no problems competing against an athlete from Turkey, despite Turkey’s numerous human rights abuses against Kurds, ethnic Armenians, and others (not to mention the fact that Turkey is teetering on the brink of fascism in wake of the coup against Erdogan). Iran and Russia have competed against one another at these Olympics. UAE and Yemen have done the same. Lebanon and the United States. Morocco and China.

Or how about this one:

On Sunday, Egyptian wrestler Haithem Mahmoud initiated a handshake with opponent, Yun Won-Chol, who was representing his home country of—wait for it—North Korea. You know…that fascist dictatorship just up the road from South Korea whose abuses were found by Human Rights watch to be “without parallel in the contemporary world, [including] extermination, murder, enslavement, torture, imprisonment, rape, forced abortions, and other sexual violence.” Yeah, that North Korea.

So what all of this tells me is that these protestations against Israeli athletes have nothing to do with morality or human rights objections, and everything to do with punishing Jews for “getting above their station.” This is not progressivism or solidarity; it’s a way of saying “you fucking Jews don’t know your place.”

If you choose to ignore that, regardless of your opinion on Israel and its government, then you’re enabling antisemitism.

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ferreandhiscat:

Being a man who loves men is okay. It’s not gross or sinful, it’s beautiful and pure. Kiss a boy if you want. It’s okay to love him, it’s okay.

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thefingerfuckingfemalefury:

drfitzmonster:

thefingerfuckingfemalefury:

drfitzmonster:

thefingerfuckingfemalefury:

tori-prometheus:

just-shower-thoughts:

There are currently millions of formally dressed skeletons living under Earth’s surface

Living??????????

THE SUBTERRANEAN SKELETON SOCIETY WAS NOT FOR YOU TO KNOW OF, FLESHY ONES

i’m beginning to question whether or not you’re actually human, sam

you know an awful lot about skeletons

and you seem much too sympathetic to their cause

sam i have a really important question to ask you

and i want you to be honest

ARE YOU IN FACT A SKELETON?

(SWEATS BONILY)

how dare u

I love having skin and muscle tissue

and a system of human organs

what is this a witch hunt

A LIKELY STORY

I MUST FLEE

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embiggenedcromulence:

Hillary 2016

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fairygodrobot:

airyairyquitecontrary:

emirael:

emirael:

emirael:

emirael:

emirael:

I lost my father to Pokemon Go and I regret so many life decisions. I’m the one who told him about the game. I’m the one who initially encouraged him. What have I done?

Now he starts every phone call with a Pokemon update. He gets all the names wrong and asks me what a Dragonite is called every time he brings up the “fat fighting orange dragon”

It’s gotten so bad he’s started watching the anime on Netflix. Help.

Okay adding to this. My dad isn’t great at remembering the names of things. So during our pokemon update phone calls, he says shit like this:

“I have a cool pineapple head now!”

“I was down to my last stripey ball trying to catch the blue dragon snake. I told him if he ran away I was gonna be so mad.”

“And the gym had one of those big fat orange dragons!” (he still can’t remember what a Dragonite is called)

BUT THEN. but then. he’s also like, OUTRAGEOUSLY into it now? He’s level 27 and talks about how “the gym wars are brutal, babe,” and how long it takes to take down a level 10 gym? (LEVEL T E N)

And a couple weeks ago he called me to talk about the merits of the old-style Gyrados (which he pronounces guy-rad-os sorry I can’t stop him) that has the dragon breath move, versus the new ones that don’t because Niantic made a change. And he has like 6 Gyrados because his work is by a Magikarp nest or something? HOW MANY fucking magikarp do you catch for 6 gyrados? He’s about to evolve two more. H E L P.

and he says shit like, “Learning about individualized values really radicalized my thinking.” and he means it. Before he evolves ANY pokemon he googles CP estimates and has a pokemon calculator??

This morning he called me because he finally has enough Dratini candy to evolve a fat fighting dragon and wanted to talk about which Dragonair he should evolve. (One with high CP but bad IVs, one with medium-high CP, but okay IVs, and one with the lowest CP of the 3, but A+ IVs) And at this point he’s so far beyond my skill with the game (he’s been higher-leveled than me for months now) that I don’t even know what to tell him. I literally can’t advise him.

My father is more of a pokemon master than I ever was. The other day he texted me the team rocket theme song.

Team Instinct. I told him I was Team Valor when I first told him about the game and he was like, “Okay I’ll join your team babe!”

And then idk he forgot?? And when his account crashed after a week he did a Pikachu restart (that should have tipped me off about the impending obession tbh) and he picked Instinct again.

I ain’t even mad bruh. He so clearly belongs in Instinct. He’s happy there. It’s his natural habitat. Before work he goes and meets up with some other Instinct people to take the Georgetown Cupcake gym in DC. It’s super cute.

My dad will be your Team Instinct dad if you need one

So my dad has always been in the habit of getting to work early. I don’t know wtf he used to do, but now when he gets in early, he goes to the Georgetown Cupcake gym in DC and apparently teams up with “some friends I’ve never met” to take down the gym for Team Instinct.

Then he goes to work and keeps the game open so he can grab Magikarp every couple minutes. Apparently his work is like ON a friggin nest.

He keeps his Pokemon Go habit a secret at work. Nobody knows. On his lunch break, he says, “hey I’m gonna go for a walk” and goes on a 12-pokestop loop. He makes sure to hit up the local Dratini and Pikachu nests (the presence of which is UNFAIR AF). He also take a few minutes to reinforce ‘his’ gym, by which point has been under attack a few times.

At work, he keeps his phone on data instead of wifi (he has unlimited data. For some godforsaken reason he went through 30GB/mo BEFORE Pokemon Go.) because that means his avatar jumps around a bit more?? He says he opens and closes the app a few times to reset it and get the GPS connection to reset and nab him a few pokemon.

Apparently he gets about 140 pokeballs a day. And goes through them all.

This got a new batch of notes, so here’s a Dad Update.

He has 114 Pikachu candy. I hate him. Apparently he’s watching the anime almost every night. He’s on season 2. I think he’s just gonna go through and watch it A L L which is a prospect so terrifying it needs no explanation.

Out of the 6 Gyrados he’s evolved, he’s kept the top 3. He sent me some screencaps the other day of his current top-contender Magikarp and the pokedex entry, where you can see he’s caught 585 of them.

Five hundred eighty five. Who tf has TIME for that??

Apparently he still hasn’t decided which Magikarp to evolve.

He should make level 28 in a day or so.

this dad will truly protect the world from devastation

op your dad is a member of the elite four

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boredpanda:

15+ Un-Bear-Ably Cute Momma Bears Teaching Their Teddy Bears How To Bear

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babyanimalgifs:

“Puppy realizes he’s at a dog park, goes absolutely bonkers”

more baby animals here

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katrinastratford:

voidbat:

raecupcake:

Here’s your morbid literary fact of the day.

jesus christ, i will never be this goth.

Mary Shelley’s father taught her to spell her name by taking her to the graveyard and having her trace the letters on her mother, Mary Wollstonecraft Shelley’s gravestone.

NO ONE will ever be as goth.

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fluffybabybuffalo:

zanmor:

weloveshortvideos:

I was practicing and

[guitar playing]

little one: your phone is stuck inside. your phone is stuck inside. [reaches in guitar for phone]

guitarist, laughing: thank you.

little one: next time be careful with your phone.

That is pure

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refinery29:

As if winning an Oscar weren’t enough, it turns out Lupita Nyong’o can SERIOUSLY rap

The 33-year-old star posted a video that introduced the world to her alter ego: TROUBLEMAKER. Nyong'o’s rap persona blew everyone away with her freestyling skills, and gave us a detailed retelling of her life in the process.

Gifs: @lupitanyongo

WATCH THE VIDEO

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“Where Western tales begin by shifting us to another time—’Once upon a time’ they say, meaning elsewhen, meaning then rather than now—Russian skazki make an adjustment of place. ‘In a certain land’, they start; or, ‘In the three-times-ninth kingdom …’ Meaning elsewhere, meaning there rather than here. Yet these elsewheres are always recognisable as home. In the distance will always be a wood-walled town where the churches have onion domes. The ruler will always be a Tsar, Ivan or Vladimir. The earth is always black. The sky is always wide. It’s Russia, always Russia, the dear dreadful enormous territory at the edge of Europe which is as large as all Europe put together. And, also, it isn’t. It is story Russia, not real Russia; a place never quite in perfect overlap with the daylight country of the same name. It is as near to it as a wish is to reality, and as far away too. For the tales supplied what the real country lacked, when villagers were telling them and Afanaseyev was writing them down.
Real Russia’s fields grew scraggy crops of buckwheat and rye. Story Russia had magic tablecloths serving feasts without end. Real Russia’s roads were mud and ruts. Story Russia abounded in tools of joyful velocity: flying carpets, genies of the rushing air, horses that scarcely bent the ground they galloped on. Real Russia fixed its people in sluggish social immobility. Story Russia sent its lively boys to seek the Firebird or to woo the Swan Maiden. The stories dreamed away reality’s defects. They made promises good enough to last for one evening of firelight; promises which the teller and the hearers knew could only be delivered in some Russian otherwhere. They could come true only in the version of home where the broke-backed trestle over the stream became ‘a bridge of white hazelwood with oaken planks, spread with purple cloths and nailed with copper nails’. Only in the wish country, the dream country. Only in the twenty-seventh kingdom.”
- Red Plenty, Francis Spufford (via hotelsongs)

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presidentgay:

everything about being with her is better than anything i could have ever imagined

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slovenskiy:

go to a furry con and give people fruit

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decreasing-entropy:

Anxiety: if you are not doing The Most™ then you are a giant fucking failure! go! hurry!

Depression: life is pointless, just lie in bed and stare at a wall all day, we good

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memeufacturing:

b-binaohan:

me rn

she looks like an old ukranian woman who lost her son Dimitri in the war and now sits by the side of a weary road less-travelled selling potatoes for a very modest price

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•A compliment
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•One thing you want to tell me
•One thing you want to know about me