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websurfer1994:

me: *overestimates the length of a yellow light and completely 100% runs a red light*
me while driving away: I AM A BEACON OF SIN I AM A BEACON OF SIN I AM A BEACON OF SIN I AM A BEACON OF SIN I AM A BEACON OF SIN I AM A BEACON OF SIN I AM A BEACON OF SIN I
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the1001cranes:

mumblytron:

Getting up at 6 am IRL: aw fuck it’s so early oh my god

Getting up at 6 am in an rpg: *banging pots and pans together in front of the cobbler’s shop* WAKEY WAKEY THE SUN IS UP I WANT SOME SHOOOOOOOES

#what do you MEAN you’re not open on wednesdays pierre i need to sell you some fuCKIN TURNIPS #see also going to the blacksmith in the middle of the night in the witcher #like how dare you fucking need to sleep i’m gonna meditate RIGHT HERE in front of your anvil (unicorncoalition)
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swarnpert:

[sees a dog] [gentle gasp]
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bpdmetta:

*sticks my leg in the air* give me attention
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lesbianspacepilot:

a lesbian: idk she just doesnt seem interested :/

someone: did u like, talk to her

a lesbian:

a lesbian: do what
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praiseandblame:

The number of messages I’ve failed to answer across all my devices and media platforms will be weighed against my soul on judgment day, and I will be cast into hell
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