Jun. 30th, 2017

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linguistisch:

itsjaneshepard:

tedywestside:

useless-italyfacts:

There’s no such thing as “pepperoni” in Italy, even though it is a corruption of the Italian word “peperoni” (sweet peppers). The most similar Italian food is “salame piccante” (spicy salami).

Then how do i order a pepperoni and pineapple pizza next time I’m in Italy?

@tedywestside your pepperoni pizza is “pizza con salame piccante” and pinapple pizza is “ho bisogno di andare in chiesa a confessare i miei peccati pizza”
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setheverman:

theworldaccordingtotimmycap:

setheverman:

setheverman:

when you pull your headphones out of your pocket and out comes your keys, money, tampons and russia

ok i’ve had so many people asking me why i, a boy, would have tampons in my pocket, but not a single person asking me why i, a boy, would have THE ACTUAL NATION OF RUSSIA IN MY POCKET

Everyone knows that Putin made a travel sized Russia

Russian accent: Ah yes I make perfect country to Putin your pocket
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agwitow:

elumish:

A couple notes on eye color descriptions:

First, eyes are small. If someone is more than a few feet away, there’s very little chance they will notice someone else’s eye color. Same is true if it’s dark or if they’re wearing glasses.

Second, people don’t pay that much attention to eye color. Most people don’t think of others (I don’t think) in terms of eye color. I’m not actually sure of the eye color of most of my relatives or friends

Third, this is in no way a useful descriptor unless it plays an important role in the story. Harry Potter’s eye color mattered because of his mother. Hermione’s eye color didn’t.

I know eye-color hair-color skin-color is a common descriptor for people when they’re first being introduced, but try something else, and stop relying on a thing that doesn’t matter. And, especially if the story is in first person or close third person, stop having people be able to tell eye colors from unrealistic distances or in unrealistic situations, or when they wouldn’t have any reason to pay attention to them.

Some other first-impression-descriptors you could use:

Height (if it’s noteworthy–most people don’t really notice unless it’s unusual in some way)

Posture/their “walk” (e.g., do they slouch? hunch? scurry? stride? etc.)

Facial expression

Clothes (again, if it’s unusual in some way)

Hairstyle

Hands (gestures and appearance)

How they interact with other people and/or the environment

There are other ways, of course, to describe characters–see what other ways you can come up with that don’t rely on the standard eye/hair/skin colour descriptions
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commongayboy:

Marsha P Johnson. Trans woman. Drag queen. Activist. The first person to throw a brick at Stonewall. Hero. Don’t whitewash. Never forget.
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sleepy-loopin:

justlookatthosesausages:

archanonhiru:

irrepressiblenaiad:

thezohar:

passific-rim-job:

queersimonmonroe:

In the 2014 additions to the UK Potter books, Rowling says part of the process to become an Animagus is to hold the leaf of a Mandrake in your mouth for a whole month. 

Can you imagine. These boys in Minerva McGonagall’s classes for that month, hoping she doesn’t notice. 

now that you pointed that out i’m 100% sure minerva knew about that

ok imagine all the marauders pretending to take a vow of silence for a month to keep that up.
Like wearing chalkboards around their necks and writing out anything they have to say around teachers and coming up with another ridiculous reason every time someone asks why they’re taking a vow of silence like. We’re protesting the traditional student/teacher constructs and the unreasonable verbal requirements of school. We’re raising awareness of how funny we are and how much your lives are worse without our beautiful voices telling jokes. We’re in a very intense round of the Silent Game and we’re all here to WIN.

“So Remus, why aren’t you doing it?”
(gives very fond look to the boys) “I’m not a moron.”
“(deathglares)”

Okay but

What about when McGonagall did it.

YES CAN WE ALSO TALK ABOUT THAT

Other student: Minnie, why aren’t you talking?
McGonagall: *scribbles on a piece of parchment* “someone bet me I couldn’t and mama ain’t raise no bitch”
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snakegay:

hyenaguide:

snakegay:

self care is drinking directly from a puddle in the taco bell drive thru

No

slurp
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via http://ift.tt/2sp8bx4:Everything is literally f*cking melting in Arizona (PHOTOS):
sasstricbypass:

iwilleatyourenglish:

heretekadept:

flowisaconstruct:

phroyd:

It is the heat rather than the humidity.

Buzzfeed is the latest national news site to report on what residents of Arizona cannot avoid — a hellscape second in the Inner Solar System only to the surface of Venus in parched, inhospitable real estate.

It’s all literally just melting.

Read All

Phroyd

Man, they built a city in the middle of the fucking desert. Color me shocked.

Most of this stuff has been in place for decades. It’s only melting this summer. This is shocking. This is Climate Change. Stay tuned.

yeah… they built cities in the desert designed to LAST in the desert. shit should not be melting. it’s an average of 120F/48.8C there.

hey so i live here and uh….. yeah people’s dog’s paws are being badly burned, people’s skin/bodies are being burned, our homeless population is absolutely frying out here and the people of Tucson happen to be… decidedly dispassionate about the safety of these homeless people so if you’d be so kind, please donate to some of the shelters and organizations out here because there is virtually no shade on our streets and no humidity or breeze at all

and if you live here too, have a heart. i spent the last three bucks in my bank account on water for a gentleman who was out in the hot sun holding a sign at an intersection and he almost cried for it. everyone deserves a little help, especially when it’s 110 degrees before 9 am.
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teashoesandhair:

elodieunderglass:

odamakilock:

teashoesandhair:

tobedestroyeduponmydeath:

teashoesandhair:

A very, very middle class young woman talking to her very, very middle class friends say “it’s always a shame when you see someone wearing a great outfit, and then they’ve accessorised it with a crucifix. I mean, have you heard of diamonds?”

Two men doing construction work and one saying “do you want to hear my joke of the week? Finished a puzzle last night. The box said ‘2-4 years’. Reckon I’m some kind of genius, because it only took me a month.”

A very smartly dressed old woman in the bookshop looking for a book about bees, saying to the cashier “I collect bees, you know. I have about thirty. All dead, of course,” to which the cashier replied “oh no, did you have a hive collapse?” to which the old woman said “no, I just pick them up when I find them dead in the street and take them home.”

A drunk man coming out of the pub and crying “Christ, my shoelaces are untied again!” They were not, in fact, untied.

I literally thought this was a shitpost. Please be a shitpost

It is not a shitpost, it’s the reality of walking around Bath city centre! It’s a land of people who are very, very middle class and don’t notice me eavesdropping. I feel like a street urchin, stealing phrases.

I’ve lived in the south west, this is entirely accurate. It only gets weirder. 

I was having a Chortle and then you said “Bath” and I went … o shit… bee lady is a friend of a friend

DO YOU ACTUALLY KNOW BEE LADY OR IS THAT IN JEST
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actuallyrealenjolras:

sarcasticsabreur:

relatableed:

bleed-in-ink:

Constantly torn between “if I show symptoms I’m real and valid” and “I can’t show any symptoms because then I’ll be a bother so I have to internalize everything.”

Dont forget “if I can control my symptoms are they still valid”

And “if I show symptoms I’m manipulating the people around me”

Also “if I don’t show symptoms at any given moment I’m lying about having a mental illness and everything is an overreaction”
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hohenzollerntrash:

YOOOOO CONGRATS TO GERMANY FOR LEGALIZING GAY MARRIAGE!!!
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unscharf-an-den-raendern:

1794: The Kingdom of Prussia abolishes the death penalty for sodomy

August 29, 1867: Karl Heinrich Ulrichs becomes the first self-proclaimed homosexual to speak out for the repeal of anti-gay laws at the  Congress of German Jurists in Munich.

1869: The term “homosexuality” appears for the first time in a German-Hungarian pamphlet written by human rights campaigner Karl-Maria Kertbeny

1871: Homosexuality is criminalized by Paragraph 175 of the Reich Criminal Code.

1907: Adolf Brand, member of a gay rights organization, publishes a piece “outing” the imperial cancellor of Germany, Prince Bernhard von Bülow. He is sued for libel and is sentenced to 18 months in prison.

1907-1909: The Harden-Eulenburg affair. Even more people are called gay and sue for libel.

1919: Magnus Hirschfeld co-founds the Institut für Sexualwissenschaft (Institute for Sex Research), a pioneer calling for the civil and social acceptance of gay and trans people.

1919: Anders als die Anderen (Different from the Others), one of the first explicitly gay films, premiers. Magnus Hirschfeld was a co-writer and funded its production.

October 16, 1929: A Reichstag Committee votes to repeal Paragraph 175. The Nazis’ rise to power prevents the implementation.

1931: Mädchen in Uniform, one of the first pro-lesbian films, is released.

1933: The Nazi party bans homosexual groups. Gay people are sent to concentration camps. Nazis burn the Institut für Sexualwissenschaften to the ground.

1937: First use of the pink triangle for gay men in concentration camps.

1945: After the liberation of concentration camps by the allied forces, gay people have to serve out the full term of there sentences under Paragraph 175.

1950: East Germany partially abolishes the Nazis’ emendations to Paragraph 175.

1968: East Germany decriminalizes homosexual acts for people over the age of 18.

1969: West Germany decriminalizes homosexual acts.

1974: General Gay Association, the second openly-LGBT rights organization in German history, is established.

1985: Herbert Rusche becomes the first openly-gay member of the Bundestag.

1987: Jutta Oesterle-Schwamm becomes the first lesbian member of the Bundestag.

1994: The Supreme Court rules that the age of consent for sex must be equalized.

2000: The Bundestag apologizes to gays and lesbians persecuted under the Nazi regime, and for “harm done to homosexual citizens up to 1969”.

2001: Same-Sex couples get the right to enter a civil partnership. Klaus Wowereit becomes the first openly-gay major of Berlin, making Berlin the largest city of the world with a gay major. Ole von Beust becomes the first openly-gay major of Hamburg.

2002: Same-sex stepchild adoption is legalized. Guido Westerwelle, leader of the FDP, becomes the first leader of a major party to come out as gay.

2009: Westerwelle becomes the first openly-gay member of the Federal Cabinet

2013: Barbara Hendricks becomes the first openly-lesbian member of the Federal Cabinet

March 22, 2017: The Bundestag votes in favor of rehabilitation for those presecuted under Paragraph 175.

June 30, 2017: Same-Sex marriage and adoption is legalized.
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alrightevans:

.. is ellen gonna fuck the tiger
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bpd-cerberus:

It’s okay to be a campy gay guy. It’s ok to be a gay guy who likes fashion. It’s okay to be a very sexual gay guy. It’s okay to be a gay guy who sleeps around alot. It’s okay to be a gay woman who’s butch. It’s okay to be a gay woman with short hair. It’s okay to be a gay woman who actually really hates men. IT’S OKAY TO LIVE UP TO STEREOTYPES ITS NOT UR JOB TO MAKE THE STRAIGHTS THINK THAT YOU DON’T EXIST CAUSE YOU DO AND THERES NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT.
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I hate this and I want to die writing this, but I have to let go of my pride right now because I have no choice. I need $50 to pay my rent, and I don’t get paid for two weeks. I was paid today, but it’s not enough. I’m searching for new (better paying) jobs, but it’s so discouraging to keep trying and trying and hearing nothing from places I’m 100% qualified for. I just. I hate this and I never want to ask this. If anyone can help at all, can you message me? I can draw you a sketch of your choosing in return. It won’t be anything super fancy, but I’ve got a bit of skill

@saathi1013 is there a sketch you would like?
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iruutciv:

So I coloured in this gif just to see how it’d look….
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Jun. 30th, 2017 07:24 pm
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hooligan-nova:

skeletonphonic:

weavemama:

weavemama:

Imagine hating homeless people so much u find ways to make their lives shittier instead of providing them with the resources they need

and unfortunately this isn’t the first time people have did things against poor people…

…THIS SHIT NEEDS TO END NOW 

“hostile architecture” is one of those things that sounds like it should be awesome from the name

and then you find out what it actually means and are filled with violent nausea

Destroying Hostile Architecture is an act of human decency
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Jun. 30th, 2017 07:25 pm
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kateordie:

sodomymcscurvylegs:

Y'all wanna be pulling receipts about something another blogger said in 2006 because it’s not that you give a single fuck about progress and changing minds and attitudes, but because you want internet brownie points for “dragging” someone else and looking mightier than though. BYE!

2 years old and still true as the day it was typed
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flybutnotlikeag6:

MY DADS LUIGI
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I can’t wait until I have a better job and can help people with their fundraisers again.
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shutupaubrey:

if you’re a boy and you cry it is not dumb and you are not a pussy you’re a fucking human being
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brucewaynesbutt:

my favorite scene in the whole tv history
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tritagonist:

i’m officially cancelling cringe culture. it’s over. go enjoy the things you like unabashedly and proudly because life is hard and sometimes things are just nice.
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the-macra:

the-macra:

I love Queen because half of their songs are mind-blowing pieces about life and death and love and humanity’s inability to live together without destroying ourselves, and the other half are like “I love my bike”

actually there’s a third kind and it’s called “I’m Freddie Mercury And There’s Nothing You Can Do To Stop Me”
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badgyal-k:

deehenn:

Lmao man

Damn
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jenniferrpovey:

cataradical:

martwhim:

Since people often ask “Alright, well this is fantasy!  Why can’t we have boob shapes in plate armor?!“  I decided to make a post about it.  My frustration has nothing to do with historical inaccuracy and I’m all for imagination and freedom– but I’d like to (very quickly) illustrate this for you:

I purposely over-emphasized the shape of the two spheres in the armor so you can really think about this. 

Look at the shape of the blue cups and the green line, think about the form of that on some beautiful ornate plate armor.  A female warrior is charging into battle.  In the midst of this, she trips!  Or is pushed over, or takes a blow to the chest!  So long as the force is on the front of her torso it really doesn’t matter for the conclusion:

She feels a sharp pain in her chest and hears the cracking of bone!  Oh no, what’s gone wrong?  Well she doesn’t have time to think about that, because she is now dead.

Her sternum just fractured, take another look at that green line, that’s where all of the pressure from any front impact is going to go because of the shape of the two blue cups made for her breasts.  The rest of the armor slides around your body, but because of the two cups for breasts that are often made in fantasy female armors, the pressure point is directly on the sternum.  The breasts are not going to stop the force of you falling onto them, and because of that the metal is going to push in and bash you in the sternum.

What does a fractured sternum do?  Why it goes right into your heart and lungs of course.

(that was the sound of all of my followers inhaling a sharp breath between closed teeth at once)

Here are three great solutions to the problem:

GREAT EXAMPLE OF FANTASY TORSO ARMOR THAT IS FEMININE BUT FUNCTIONAL:

It is usually possible to bind the breasts when fighting if they really are far too large to fit into regular looking armor (there’s padding anyway), but most women can actually fit into a similarly sized male counterpart’s armor quite easily.  Even if that’s the case, the armor can be made to have a curve to it without putting all of the pressure in one area, which was actually a style of armor for quite some time as shown here:

And don’t even get me started on the dreaded “Cleavage Window”

The “Cleavage Window” defeats the purpose of having any armor on your torso because it means you’re just going to be leaving open the vital organs the rest of the armor is trying to protect.

If people are going to protect themselves and not have much torso protection, invest in some blocking lessons, because the best defense is to not get hit at all.  There are also advantages to not having plate armor, and plate armor was often really expensive anyway.

– Edit –

supaslim replied to your post: “Why do you hate the shape of breasts in plate armor so much?”

I’d also like to add that boob bulges direct blows straight to the sternum as well, rather than making them glance to either side. Good post.

but how else can you sexualize the women if you don’t give them armored boob pods!!!!

Also, breastplates are shaped to redirect the tip of a sword or spear to the side. Boobplates would redirect the weapon right into the middle of the woman’s chest.
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Jun. 30th, 2017 11:20 pm
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official-madame-defarge:

The X Files, 1993-2002

@hobbiteering
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marsincharge:

awfulbear:

traitor:

DEAD

Fuck they murdered him

I actually am so fascinated by the 180 Wendy’s has done with their social media etiquette. Like, who was the intern or entry level Social media person who slipped up and clapped back the first time? When the team realized that it made them more successful in terms of engagement and relevance, did the management team just go “You have permission to be an asshole within reason because memes”?
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voldemortreturns:

I understand more from this one picture that I did from 9 years of Sunday school
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black-to-the-bones:

This innocent kid had a pen in his hand, was excited about his graduation and ended up dead just a few hours before it  just because one of the cops thought Tommy had a knife in his hand, but it was a pen. He killed Tommy because of a FREAKING PEN. How do you justify that?

 It’s also hard to watch his story not getting as much attention it deserves. He deserves justice and cops should pay for their brutality.
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evilrick:

they shoulda cast me in black panther lmao
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elanorpam:

rainbowbarnacle:

jumpingjacktrash:

poplar-shade:

mirthandir:

jennytheundying:

failnation:

New PETA ad looks like two guys had a threesome with a chicken and she completely blew their minds.

“we must never speak of this”

I legitimately have no idea what this ad was otherwise trying to convey

like seriouslyI know that they’re utterly stupid in every waybut what even the hell

looks to me like each of them thinks the other one brought the chicken and they’re trying to think how to say “that is a really disturbing kink and i’m upset you didn’t warn me” without being closed-minded

meanwhile the chicken just wandered in through an open window and found this nice place to lay an egg she doesn’t care she’s busy

i seldom care what peta has to say but in this case i legitimately can’t tell what their message is so i’m just going to go with “random chicken sitcom moment” and imagine all the wacky misunderstandings that occur as they both try to be okay with their boyfriend having super weird kinks, until their neighbor comes over to reclaim her chicken and they realize their sex life is actually kind of vanilla and now they’re a little disappointed

maybe the chicken is doing like how kitties do–they just kinda hop on the bed and don’t care what anyone else is up to, it’s time to curl up near the humans now. 

or maybe she heard there were two cocks in the vicinity? 8)

and maybe the dudes are making faces like that because they just realized they’re in a PETA commercial zzzzzZZZING
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