May. 25th, 2017

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May. 25th, 2017 02:03 am
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diebrarian:

pussylipglosss:

sixpenceee:

Iraqi girls at Peace Carnival in Baghdad to counter ISIS efforts to destroy civilian life

Shit they don’t want you to see

(source)

Other lovely pictures from the same event
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asajjventress:

asajjventress:

ah, the sinister sickly green of deviantart
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georgeorwell:

georgeorwell:

@catholic followers: can we please relish the fact that apparently the trump’s family idea of ‘appropriate outfit to wear when meeting the pope’ turned out to be ‘have watched too many sophia loren films and subsequently dressed up for a funeral in southern italy sometime around 1965’, because i’ve been snickering since this morning and still can’t stop

for visual reference:

someone on facebook photoshopped this picture to look like an ad for a funeral business and i am LIVING please everyone tag yourself i am the pope
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passthecocaine:

My favorite Tumblr Thing is definitely seeing a post that says “you won’t see the media talking about this” literally while I am watching the news and they are talking about it
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May. 25th, 2017 02:13 am
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lynne-monstr:

poppetawoppet:

theshmaylor:

wizzard890:

brilliantlyhorrid:

I’m not about to kinkshame a whole aquarium but

carry me into the sunset, my cephalopod prince

friends, you don’t understand. This ad campaign was goddamn HUGE. They bought out the entirety of multiple train stations in Boston with these. There are so many more, and they’re all this same beautiful combination of questionable/amazing.

@lynne-monstr

This is the best thing in my life
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via http://ift.tt/2rjolHm:Republican candidate 'body-slams' Guardian reporter in Montana:

pervocracy:

Today in WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING IN MY COUNTRY news.  The audio is genuinely disturbing and the reporter had to be seen in the ER for his injuries.

Please let this be a dealbreaker.  Please don’t let violence against the press become a “controversy,” a topic for legitimate debate.  God.
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tseecka:

oswin-oh:

fabledquill:

futuresoldierketchum:

livetomakeadifference:

0ut-0f-f0cus:

This is off the Bermuda Triangle,  where 16+ ships washed up on a sand bar. The mystery is still unsolved

Actually the mystery of the Bermuda Triangle has been given a scientific explanation: methane vents which have been discovered in that region. 

Methane reduces the density of water, causing ships that would normally float, to instead sink.

Methane, when in gas form, messes with the electrical components of aircraft, causing them to fail and sometimes fall right out of the sky.

Methane also causes the water to turn a ghostly greenish color, and the “ghost ships” reported to be seen are simply green reflections of the ships that scatter the bottom of the triangle.

Fucking science, man.

so

the bermuda triangle

is caused

by ocean farts

#there are two types of people

tag your spoilers some of us want to keep the mystery in our lives thank
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buzzfeed:

You know how sometimes everything seems like it’s going to shit and then something good happens and you’re like “damn, good things can actually still happen.” Yup, this is one of one of those times.
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micdotcom:

Taiwan takes historic step toward same-sex marriage legalization

In a landmark ruling on Wednesday, Taiwan’s constitutional court positioned the country to become the first in Asia to recognize same-sex marriages.

Previously, Taiwan’s civil code had stipulated that marriage must be between a man and a woman. 

But in a majority opinion, the court ruled that the ban on same-sex unions ran afoul of two articles of the country’s constitution that upholding human dignity and equality in the eyes of the law, according to the Associated Press. Read more (5/24/17)
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Millennials: *treats self to a nice lunch*
Baby boomers: If you would stop wasting so much money on non-necessities then you'd be able to buy your own house!
Millennials: *doesn't spend money on non-necessities*
Baby boomers: WHY AREN'T MILLENNIALS BUYING FABRIC SOFTENER? OR DIAMONDS? THEY'RE KILLING THE PAPER NAPKIN INDUSTRY! MILLENNIALS ARE SO CHEAP!
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ragingprogressive:

🙄
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Not Everything That Crinkles Is a Snack For You - A novel by me, about my pets
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urmomlol:

lynati:

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brightlotusmoon:

nihilnovisubsole:

a writing advice post: don’t describe characters’ eye colors, people don’t usually notice that in real life

me: anyway this character has pale blue eyes and this one has brownish-black and this one has sea green and you’re not my mother, you can’t make me stop

I love eyes. Gods, eye colors are AMAZING.

100% accurate.

Juuust don’t call them “orbs”, please.

don’t talk to me or my cerulean orbs ever again
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trickerydickerydock:

firebirdeternal:

midwayinourlifesjourney:

pizzaback:

closet-keys:

afloweroutofstone:

grumsal:

Hey maybe I could afford a house if I just stopped going out and spending $450 at the club every single weekend

$150 drinks (average)

“I mean it’s one night out, Michael. How much could it cost, $225?” 

someone who is good at the economy help me

You: buys avocado toast
Me: spends almost 500 a week on parties
Us: will NEVER live the american dream

…. the last time I spent over 100$ on something recreational was like three years ago. 

“Bartender, give me your finest avocadotini”

“That’ll be $300″

“A steal”

I’m the pre-drink drink

I’m in tears who parties every single weekend both nights

And who is paying that much to party? That is crazy

Boomers really outchea lying for clicks in the year of My Thor 2017. WILDT!

Much more likely:

Bus fare: $2.50 each way, total of $5
Entry fee to my friend’s apartment: $0
Video and/or board game fees: $0
Drinks: $10 for a six-pack of hard cider or $5 for a bunch of soda or tea
Pre-Drink: $0
Food: $10 for my share of a pizza

Well 10,000 more nights of that and you could put a down payment on a house! So reasonable! /sarcasm
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Photo

May. 25th, 2017 11:38 am
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lord–megatron:

lord–megatron:

yesterday I almost crashed on the tollway because I saw a man driving and just taking a bite out of a whole, unpeeled grapefruit. it was a hateful act.

I don’t believe aliens are hiding among us but that man was without a doubt an alien
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junkybowels:

plaidadder:

argonauticae:

argonauticae:

im putting together a couple of scottish folk mixes bc that’s what i do and im honestly curious if anyone in my country has ever been unequivocally happy about anything ever

scottish trad music genres:

Everyone I Love Is Dead

The English Have Stolen All My Sheep

You Want To Be My Boyfriend? First You Must Answer These Riddles Three

The Protestants Have Stolen All My Sheep

I Love You A Lot But You’ve Left Me And It’s Raining [fiddle solo]

The Sea Is Treacherous, Just Like The English

One Time Bonnie Prince Charlie Punched Me In The Face And It Was Awesome

The Fairies Have Stolen All My Sheep

We have of course the traditional Irish music genres to go with them:

* Everyone I Love Is An Allegorical Representation of Ireland

* The English Stole My Farm And Put Sheep On It

* You Were My Boyfriend But Now You Won’t Even Come To The Window To Look Upon Me And Our Dead Infant Child (In The Rain)

* Whack Fol Too La Roo Umptytiddly Good They’ve Stopped Listening Now Let’s Talk About Revolution

* Something In Irish, I Think It’s About Fairies, Or Maybe A Cow

oooo can I add to this? don’t forget Appalachian folk balladry, the American cousin of Scottish and Irish traditional music and just as uplifting as its Anglo-Saxon highland forbears!!!

genres include:

I Left Everyone I Love Back Home In The Holler To Be With This Guy Who Doesn’t Wear Shoes Or Have Teeth But He Plays A Mean Jug

The English Told Us Not To Move West Yet, We Ignored Them, My Entire Family Was Killed

You Were My Boyfriend But You Tied A Sack Of Rocks To My Petticoats And Threw Me In The Creek (And My Baby Too)

Mama Loves All 14 Of Us A Lot But She’s Weary Of Our Shit And Now She’s Dyin’ (Gather Round)

The McCleans Stole A Firewood Log From Our Pile So We Won’t Rest Until The Last Of Their Male Kin Is Laid In The Cold Ground

We Knew The River Would Rise But We Still Didn’t Fix The Levee 

The River Rose, The Levee Broke, Everyone Died, It Was Just As We Reckoned (dulcimer twang-a-lang) 

When The Rebels Come A-Marchin’ I’m A Southern Man And I Feed Their Horses My Best, When The Yankees Come A-Marchin’ I’m A Northern Man And I Feed Their Horses What The Rebels Left

The Tennessee Valley Authority Killed All My Sheep Somehow

Don’t forget that old standby “The Mine Collapsed and Everyone Died”!

I think someone needs to put in a word for the English folk tradition though:

I Met a Girl and We Went Hunting (It Was a Metaphor for Sex)

I Met a Girl and We Caught Some Birds (It Was a Metaphor for Sex)

I Met a Girl and We Found Her Lost Pet (It Was a Metaphor for Sex)

I Met a Girl By Staying At Her Parents’ House and She Made My Bed (It Was an Especially Thinly-Veiled Metaphor for Sex)

I Am a Girl and I Regret Engaging In Metaphors for Sex Because Now I’m Pregnant

I Met a Girl and Bribed Her Into Sex But She Stole My Horse and Ran Away With It

I Met a Girl At an Inn and We Had Non-Metaphorical Sex But She Stole My Stuff The Next Morning and Now I Have Syphilis

Your Fiance Died Either at Trafalgar or Waterloo, Let’s Get Married, I’m Glad You Said No Because I’m Really Him In Disguise

Lord Nelson Sure Was Awesome

The Press-Gang Dragged Off All the Important Men in My Life (And Now They Are Dead)

Farm Laborers Are The Salt of the Earth And Are Never Grindingly Poor

Begging Is a Completely Viable Career Option With Flexible Hours and Unlimited Access to Alcohol

behold mongolian folk music genres

I Went Out Riding and Noticed Mongolia

We Fought a Bunch of Guys (On Horseback)

Witness My Many Ungulates

(While On a Horse) I Met a Hot Girl Who Reminded Me of a Plant

On Three, Say What That Terrain Feature Looks Like to You (One, Two, Three, A Horse)

Witness My Many Ancestors’ Many Ungulates

I Also Enjoy Heavy Metal, Especially If It’s Made of Horseshoes

Oooorrrrweeeeuuurrrreeeeuuuuwwwwwrrrrrrrr (Is Tuvan for “Horse”)

You Might Not Know This About Me, But I Own a Horse

Reblogging again to add some of the Romanian ones

I Long For The Sweet Embrace Of Death So Here’s All The Elaborate Things You Need To Do For My Funeral So That In The End It Looks Like No Humans Ever Gave A Shit

Song That’s Just An Excuse To List Half The Plants That Grow Around My Village

May All The Curses Fall On He Who Loves And Leaves, Even Tho He Left Me By Dying

My Buddies Are Going To Kill Me For My Sheep And Imma Let Them

The Cuckoo Doesn’t Care About My Misery

A Meta Song About Singing

An Unspecified And Untranslatable Longing Looking For An Excuse

These Are All The Reasons Why I’m Cursed With Eternal Bad Luck
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thefingerfuckingfemalefury:

lawthehybrid1027:

thefingerfuckingfemalefury:

pr1nceshawn:

The Best Way to Remember Someone’s Name.

HER WIFES FACE THO

Her wife is flashing back to all the times she wouldn’t say her name

“OH MY GOD SHE NEVER KNEW IT”
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thefingerfuckingfemalefury:

wingedsuccubuswithapetdragon:

thefingerfuckingfemalefury:

Sorry Baby Boomers but I gotta have that Avocado Toast

I did the math and realised if nothing gets worse, at my current rate, I’ll be able to buy a house in just over 400 years. My friend just asks, “With or without avocado toast?”

Avocado Toast was what actually caused the Great Depression

true facts
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“A fish is, of course, a discrete thing that possesses physical form. See generally, Dr. Seuss”
- United States Supreme Court Justice Elena Kagan (via heyguysiwrotesomething)
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disparition:

and when Persephone was in the underworld she ate just one bite of avocado toast and so, from thence forth, was cursed to never own a home
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crazyintheeast:

pretentious-git:

incurablenecromantic:

eccentricmisseclectic:

autisticdorumon:

Give me a heartwarming Christmas movie about Satan traveling around the world every Christmas to deliver presents to all the young kids and kids with learning disorders and disabilities who misspell “Santa” on their Christmas letters every year

And Santa’s all like, “You know, I can handle a few spelling mistakes, I got this,” and Lucifer is like “They’re addressed to me, fuck off, I’m doing it.”

Lucifer being protective of his fanmail is ceaselessly entertaining.

Lucifer: hey big guy I need your list because I don’t know what these kids want for christmas and you’ve got all the info.
Santa: this isn’t your holiday
Lucifer: yeah well james here doesn’t fucking know that so give me the list, he asked for Satan

Starring  Natalie Dormer as Lucifer and Leslie Jones as Santa. Special appearance by Anna Kendrick as a rogue santa elf who defects to Lucifer’s side and the The Rock Dwayne Johnson voicing Rudolph
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Photo

May. 25th, 2017 05:48 pm
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zero0000:

thefingerfuckingfemalefury:

themetaisawesome:

why-i-love-comics:

Doom the Emperor Returns #1 (2002)

written by Chuck Dixon
art by Leonardo Manco & Mariana Sanzone

I never want to know the context for this

Doom is involved with

Certain fandoms O.O

I can’t believe Victor Von Doom is a brony

“DOOM COMMANDS YOU READ HIS FANFICTION”
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thefingerfuckingfemalefury:

justhere4coffee:

broodingsoul:

About 20 seconds in, I started laughing so hard that I was basically just hyperventilating.

This is so cool, ‘cause it shows just how smart the horse is; as soon as it figures out where the noise is coming from and why, it works out the best way to hold it to keep it going. Clever.

I was so worried bad things would happen to startle the horse but no instead this is just Wholesome Content I am so happy :D
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thefingerfuckingfemalefury:

zero0000:

thefingerfuckingfemalefury:

themetaisawesome:

why-i-love-comics:

Doom the Emperor Returns #1 (2002)

written by Chuck Dixon
art by Leonardo Manco & Mariana Sanzone

I never want to know the context for this

Doom is involved with

Certain fandoms O.O

I can’t believe Victor Von Doom is a brony

“DOOM COMMANDS YOU READ HIS FANFICTION”
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sapphics:

i wanna give a shout out to all lgbt people who thought they were another identity before realizing they were something else. lesbians realizing they’re trans men, bi/pan people realizing they’re a lesbian/gay, binary trans people realizing they’re genderfluid, etc. even if you don’t know if your current identity is the final stop, even if you think it’s a “phase”, or you don’t know what label fits you best, you’re on a journey to self discovery, every step matters, it shapes you into the person you are or aspire to be, and you’re not fake or a bad person for figuring things out.
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thoodleoo:

thoodleoo:

thoodleoo:

what showwriters think lgbt people want: gritty shows with unhappy queer people who find their attraction a struggle and are ultimately killed off for tragedy porn

what lgbt people actually want: a sitcom about ancient lesbos where lesbos’s famous lyric poets, sappho and alcaeus, are best friends trying to get girlfriends, and sappho is way better at it than alcaeus is

alcaeus, all alone in a bar with his lyre, plucking its strings sadly: it’s just so hard sappho. there just must not be any girls here looking for anyone today.

sappho, with her arms around two girls, on her way out the bar: what was that, dear

#OKAY EVERYONE IS SAYING SAPPHO WOULD DO BETTER #BUT REMEMBER SHE LITERALLY WROTE A POEM DESCRIBING HOW USELESS SHE IS WHEN SHE SEES A WOMAN?

fair point, but consider: the premise of the show is that even sappho ‘holy shit is that my crush ohhhh my gods oh shit did she look at my OHHHHH my GODS i am dying i am literally DYING’ of lesbos is better at getting a girlfriend than alcaeus is, and the show follows her trying to show him in increasingly ridiculous ways how to flirt with girls

he ends up getting a boyfriend instead
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Do not allow him to consume you. If he does not call, go to sleep. If he does not message, put your phone away and have a fantastic day anyway. If he acts distant when you are with him and refuses to tell you what is wrong, don’t wait for him, go home and do something you love. If he tries to insinuate you do not need your friends now that you have him, spend more time with your friends. If he tries to teach you a lesson through the silent treatment, ignore him completely.
If he plays with your feelings constantly, walk away from him. If he acts like your body is his entitlement when you are not ready, walk away from him. If he says terrible, unforgivable things and threatens to leave you after every argument, walk away from him. If he forbids you from doing anything you love, walk away from him. If he claims ownership of your accomplishments, walk away from him. If he demeans you or disrespects your being a girl and refuses to stop when you tell him it hurts, walk away from him.

I cannot stress this enough, you live for yourself first. He is a secondary character in the story of your life. Do not allow him to turn you into a secondary character in your own book


- Nikita Gill, Advice for Teenage Girls Finding Their Way Through Love
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sapphics:

i wanna give a shout out to all lgbt people who thought they were another identity before realizing they were something else. lesbians realizing they’re trans men, bi/pan people realizing they’re a lesbian/gay, binary trans people realizing they’re genderfluid, etc. even if you don’t know if your current identity is the final stop, even if you think it’s a “phase”, or you don’t know what label fits you best, you’re on a journey to self discovery, every step matters, it shapes you into the person you are or aspire to be, and you’re not fake or a bad person for figuring things out.
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The bots have evolved into housewives, and I’m a housewife magnet now.
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blackness-by-your-side:

they’re my absolute favs ❤️
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elk64-sketch:

Some of the watercolor I did the last week.  Not golden gouache this time but gilding !  
My FB page : http://ift.tt/1TNAqKx
My dA : http://ift.tt/11yQdEX
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breelandwalker:

solitary-woman:

breelandwalker:

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lesbianworstenemy:

Good

Best news I’ve seen is the headline “bill nye the vagina guy”

BILL! BILL! BILL! BILL! BILL!

“The most vile way”

He just presented scientifically accurate information. That’s it. He presented gender and sexuality accurately. And people are mad.

People are mad that he did his job.

People are mad that the science guy told them about science.

Also I want to know how Bill Nye (and science and sex ed teachers everywhere) presenting accurate, scientifically-supported information to young people is “indoctrination”….

….but somehow parents insisting that their children be taught ONLY what jives with their own personal beliefs, and insisting on DISCOUNTING scientifically-supported facts based on religious principles, and refusing to acknowledge that young people can form their own opinions and deserve access to accurate information in order to do so….

….is not.
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differentjasper:

ok you know that ‘make the princess laugh and you can have her hand in marriage’ thing?

imagine so many come in.

they try, so hard, to make her laugh.

she just sits there, morose, ignoring every man who tries to coax a smile.

one day she’s sitting on the balcony. she just looks so sad.

of course that little thief tries to make her smile.

a girl who goes through the (semi public) royal gardens every day to pick flowers, even though technically only the royal family is allowed to do that. 

she sees the princess while she’s picking them up to sell on the streets, and she’s just… so sad. this princess needs someone to cheer her up.

and she tries. she’ll do silly dances when she comes in, she’ll bring up frogs from ponds and act out comedies, she’ll make flower crowns and exaggerate just how hard it is.

the first few days, the princess doesn’t even look at her.

then she starts noticing. this girl, trying so hard to cheer her up. she probably hasn’t even heard of the hand in marriage thing, she doesn’t know she’s trying so hard for nothing.

but she does it anyway.

one day, the princess starts talking to her as she does these things. “You do know that it’s useless?”

“What?” the thief says. “No way! I’m going to get you to laugh!”

“The best jesters in the kingdom have tried, don’t bother,” the princess declared pessimistically, staring down at the girl.

Then the thief puffs out her chest, “Of course I am! I’ll find the best jokes, even better than the jesters have found! I’ll… fight a fire breathing dog for them!”

There’s no laugh, but the corner of the princess’s mouth twitches. it’s sad how she thinks she can make me laugh…

the girl keeps trying, for years, making more silly stories and trading flowers for jokes rather than food or money. the princess slowly realizes the girl is getting closer and closer, asking her for responses in knock knock jokes and encouraging her to speak when she wouldn’t respond immediately.

the princess eventually had the girl hanging from her balcony, holding on tight to the rail and feet wedged between the columns, grinning and telling yet another iteration of that already old chicken joke.

the princess has been smiling, slightly, but she mostly just looks unresponsive. the girl is happy, it’s better than looking so sad, like she had been years before.

the girl moves on to puns, pointing at the exotic lunch the princess was eating. “Why do the melons have to go to get married? They cantaloupe!”

“You only know that word because of me,” the princess snarks, but there’s a small smile there, a bit of happiness. This little flower girl, this thief has grown into an amazing friend, a wonderful person who genuinely just wants to help. she doesn’t know of the deal, only nobles and jesters could know, not the commonfolk.

“Well, it makes quite the pun,” the girl says, proud of her joke. a smile! what an accomplishment!

“Say…” she continued, “What would you call a princess who got swept up in conversation a thief?” she pulled a flower out of her pocket, waving it in front of the princess’s face. the princess’s eyes crossed to see the flower before they rolled at the obvious setup.

though, it was interesting that it obviously involved them.

“I don’t know,” she admitted, sighing in preparation for another horrible pun. “What?”

the girl grinned. “A pretty theft!” she exclaimed, ticking the flower against the princess’s nose.

the princess froze for a moment, stunned. she had been complimented a million times over, called graceful by etiquette instructors, been called beautiful by many a suitor, been called wonderful by her mother before… she stopped thinking about that. 

she had never been called pretty.

she burst into laughter at the commonplace compliment, as if she was some sort of milkmaid who had somehow grown up to be good looking! it was ridiculous, the notion, yet somehow it had her blushing all the same.

then she suddenly stopped, realizing what she’d done.

the flower thief was staring at her in amazement, a blush of her own speckling her cheeks. her flower tilted out from in front of the princess’s nose, as if it had it’s own amazement.

“Wow…” the girl breathed. she’d never heard something so beautiful in her life.

The princess was silent, knowing what she had just done. She had just laughed for the first time in years.

The girl may not have been aware of the arrangement, but she was quickly swept up in it. A maid had heard the laughter and burst in, to find the thief and the princess, caught up in each other’s eyes, reveling in what had just happened.

The wedding was beautiful, a flower filled affair, a wonderful nod to how it happened. The king was so happy to see his daughter with someone who made her smile for once, tearing up as they were wed.

The princess’s laugh was still incredibly rare. She still had a hard time smiling. But a well timed joke from the girl– no, her wife– and another flower that had a hidden meaning behind it, than maybe, maybe you would hear it.

After all, the princess had finally laughed with the one she loved.
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silent-calling:

devilinhighheels:

the-real-stevie-nicks:

klubbhead:

It’s true

That’s so nice and noble. I wonder if she’s badly shaken up after that?

Apparently she was in a hospital because she was hysterical and had a breakdown. There are pictures of her exiting her plane and she looks really bad. Her mother and her both wore black as a sign of grief

I’m not a fan of hers, but I have absolute respect for this, and I hope she, and all the survivors, find solace and recover quickly.
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gravityeyelids: (Default)
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leander-ligo:

This is how I respond to unwanted dick pics now, Bill Nye sticking a hot dog into a cup of molten metal
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moonnlesbian:

moonnlesbian:

where’s the interview w/ andy samberg where the interviewer asks about why there’s no jokes made around holt being gay and andy’s face twitches like “don’t do it.” and the interviewer goes on like “we live in such a weird PC culture though!” and andy laughs so uncomfortably i need it for science 
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vijara:

lately i’ve been replacing my “i’m sorry”s with “thank you”s, like instead of “sorry i’m late” i’ll say “thanks for waiting for me”, or instead of “sorry for being such a mess” i’ll say “thank you for loving me and caring about me unconditionally” and it’s not only shifted the way i think and feel about myself but also improved my relationships with others who now get to receive my gratitude instead of my negativity
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zenyattayes:

“Tell me your thoughts, my friend,” I say to Bastion.

They tell me their thoughts.

D.Va’s meka is the largest, fattest flamingo they have ever seen.

They would like to know how long it will take until Ganymede is as tall and beautiful as Mercy.

Torbjorn needs to stop leaving his young unattended in strange places; this is why they die so often. They also want to know who the father is.

They also like Hanzo’s tail feathers, which I can only assume means his hair ribbon.

As it turns out, Bastion thinks anyone who is not an Omnic is just a very large, strange bird.
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klubbhead:

casual-sarcastic:

dzamieponders:

futureblackpolitician:

cosmic-noir:

metalgirlysolid:

bearglitch:

starheartshooter:

okay so I’ve seen a lot of artists,including myself, make this common mistake of coloring the palm of  a hand(and the sole of a foot) as the same color as the person’s skin tone.

but in fact ,palms and soles are a different color compare to our skin

this is due to the lack of Melanin on them

hope this helps!

Don’t put this fucking whitewashing bullshit on my feed

Huh???????????

IM SCREAMING

LMFAOOOOO

local tumblr user accidentally reveals they have never seen a black person

This is fucking hilarious

Top 10 fails
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lydiallama:

when one partner is a soft and one partner is an edgelord
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Rachel

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