Apr. 30th, 2017

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vanilla-lava:

God dammit thats hot.
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mistressseventeen:

cute-af-femdom:

dysfunctional-nymph:

lonelytowonderland:

LITTLE THINGS
 
• boys hugging the pillow during sex
• playing with a boy’s hair while he sleeps on your lap
• putting flowers in his hair
• boys nuzzling your hand or neck because they want to cuddle
• picking boys up
• boys wrapping their legs around your waist
• telling boys to hold on to you tightly
• boys getting weak-kneed after teasing them a little
• boys muffling their moans because they are embarrassed
• hugging boys from behind
• slipping your hand underneath their shirt when they are not expecting it
• letting them sit in front of you in the bathtub so you can wrap your arms around them
• boys falling asleep on your shoulder
• boys sucking on your fingers
• cuddling boys to sleep
• boys arching their backs 
• pinning their arms above their head
• kissing boys on their forehead 
• boys being sensitive and reactive

damn. Like…. oh damn.

This is the truest shit

Love everything about this
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Apr. 30th, 2017 06:23 am
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toomuchducky:

i jokingly call my gf bieber once and then…
w/ @jaxxgarcia

the little smack when the door didn’t move completely out of the way killed me

This has to be the cutest thing I have ever seen
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erin-space-goat:

Can you imagine if Elon Musk ships all the rich people to Mars and they get there and theres no Mars base just a bunch of empty used rocket fuselages with doors cut in them and rich colonists frantically send messages back to earth for rescue but everyone left back on earth decides to just close down the launch pads and call it a day. Basically what I’m saying is fyre festival is a model for the future
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claryfightwood:

Constantly torn between “my sexuality is none of your business” and “lmao I hope they don’t think I’m straight god forbid”
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:)

@gravityeyelids
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This is quite possibly the best frame in all of Death Note and my actual reaction to anyone being nice to me ever.
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computerworm:

how do i tell my psychiatrist this is the only thing that will ever make me laugh anymore

You don’t have to explain anything, just show it to them. They’ll understand.
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Apr. 30th, 2017 07:28 am
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swaglexander-the-great:

#That’s a#That’s a blue ringed octopus#You’re going to die do you realise that#It is literally one of the most deadly animals in the world#Not just in Australia or just in the ocean in THE WORLD#Put it DOWN#And go to a hospital jfc via platonic-rabbit 

me tryna find out if this fool died

“The blue-ringed octopus, despite its small size, carries enough venom to kill twenty-six adult humans within minutes. Their bites are tiny and often painless, with many victims not realizing they have been envenomated until respiratory depression and paralysis start to set in.[8] No blue-ringed octopus antivenom is available yet, making it one of the deadliest reef inhabitants in the ocean.”

Holy shit

And this is why I don’t go in the ocean anymore

Also the blue rings literally only show up when it is distressed so this person has angered it!!! You are in danger friend!!!

Actually this guy keeps them as pets they’re on his instagram (william_exotique) and he frequently holds then and I just? Don’t know why? And also every picture or video he posts of them shows the blue rings so they’re always in distress I just do not understand why he’s doing this

#AMY EXPLAIN HOW DUMB THIS GUY IS 

I mean OP pretty much covered it.  A blue ringed octopus is almost on the level of CONE SNAIL on the list of things you ABSOLUTELY DO NOT PICK UP UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES.

But ask and you shall receive,  On this episode of “Fun Facts With Cuckoo,” DEAD.  YOU’RE DEAD.  EVERYTHING IS DEAD AND YOU SHOULD NEVER TOUCH ANYTHING IN THE OCEAN EVER AGAIN.

There are many things that will kill you.

[citation needed]

There are fewer, but still many things that will kill you FAST.

There are yet fewer things that kill you fast and by such an overwhelming margin of overkill that nervous laughter is our only solace in the dark of this terrible, surprisingly Lovecraftian world of unearthly horrors that we live in.

Of the things that I know about which will kill you fast via just plain insultingly potent venom, which is a not insignificant number of things because I know a not insignificant number of things, there are about 3 things in the ocean – IN THE WHOLE OCEAN – which are so insanely, mind-bogglingly deadly that there is pretty much no possible hope for survival (I mean you CAN, but god help you if you’re ever in that situation, because god’s just about damn near the only thing that CAN help you).  THE. WHOLE. OCEAN.

Those three things are the Irukandji (a tiny (1cm) species of box jellyfish, which has stingers not only on its tentacles but on its BELL, for reasons no one has definitively figured out, and is so toxic despite its size its sting can cause a severe brain hemorrhage), the cone snail (a group of carnivorous sea snails that is accepted to be the most venomous animals on earth, with a STUPIDLY fast acting and extremely powerful neurotoxin that has in at least one case killed a human ALMOST INSTANTANEOUSLY, because the swimmer who found two beautiful shells (unfortunately cone snails tend to have very pretty shells which makes people want to pick them up) was holding them up for a picture and ended up being stabbed in the neck by not one but TWO cone snails at the same time, and it is believed that she was literally dead before she hit the ground, I mean LITERALLY in a 100% non-fictional and non-exaggerated way, in between the time the two cone snails stabbed her and the time her limp body hit the sand, she was not alive anymore), and the blue ringed octopus.

It is POSSIBLE to survive any of these.  But not without immediate medical attention.  Of these three, the Irukandji is by far the most treatable, because Australia and other coastal regions (including Florida and other parts of the US) are kind of experienced in dealing with box jellyfish.

The blue ringed octopus will fucking kill you.  There’s no antidote for their venom, ONE COMPONENT OF WHICH (tetrodotoxin) is 1200 times deadlier than cyanide.  It’s a powerful neurotoxin (most of the worst venoms are because the species that produce them need to kill or at least paralyze their prey quickly, like jellyfish whose fragile tentacles could be damaged if their food doesn’t stop struggling) that attacks the sodium channels and causes muscle paralysis.  It doesn’t necessarily kill you quickly.  It PARALYZES you quickly, so that you can’t really call for help or describe the problem, and you will probably end up slowly suffocating from a paralyzed diaphragm.  Tetrodotoxin can be metabolized by the body in a matter of hours, but it can also kill you in a matter of minutes if you get a lethal dose (which isn’t much, the

LD50

or median lethal dose, the dose at which you have a 50% chance of survival, is only 8 MICROGRAMS per kilogram of body weight (as tested in mice)).  This is, by venom standards, not a large amount, which means the animal that is capable of putting this venom inside your body is very very good at killing the absolute shit out of you.

DON’T TOUCH THE BLUE RINGED OCTOPUS.

Now, because overkill is my motto, let me briefly explain why Conus geographus is the undisputed champion of YOU WILL NOT SURVIVE, AND FURTHERMORE FUCK YOU FOR THINKING OTHERWISE.

A cone snail walks into a bar.  You’d expect the bartender to ask, “what’s your poison,” but they were paralyzed before they could ask and OH LOOK they’re already FUCKING DEAD ON THE GROUND.

Conus geographus is about 4-6 inches long and nature’s equivalent of Avada Kedavra.  Cone snails literally have their own KIND of toxins named after them: conotoxin.  Not only is there no antidote, but their venom AGGRESSIVELY RESISTS our ability to find a cure, because we barely understand how it works AND conotoxins are so internally varied, even within a single species, that any one antidote isn’t going to help because they’re constantly mutating and evolving their venom to prevent their prey from evolving a resistance to it.  Plus their venom is like, a bunch of different venoms all at once JUST IN CASE any one of them wasn’t good enough.

I want you to read these two sentences from the wiki page on conotoxin:

“Conotoxins have a variety of mechanisms of actions, most of which have not been determined.”

“The LD50 of conotoxin is 50 ng/kg.”

Remember how the

LD50 of tetrodotoxin is 8μg/kg?  Conotoxin is 160 times more potent.  FIFTY NANOGRAMS PER KILOGRAM HAS A 50% CHANCE OF KILLING YOU. A 220-POUND HUMAN HAS A 50% CHANCE OF SURVIVAL AGAINST JUST 5 MICROGRAMS OF CONOTOXIN.  

I DID SOME MATH.  

IT WOULD TAKE 7-9 MILLIGRAMS OF CONOTOXIN TO KILL A BLUE WHALE, THE HEAVIEST ANIMAL TO EVER LIVE. (based on weight estimates from 300-400,000 lbs.)

Conus geographus is so fucking deadly that “In two cases of envenomation, only 0.0002-0.0005 mg resulted in severe paralysis.”

THIS THING KILLS STUFF SO HARD THAT BEFORE YOU HEAR THE FIRST “MORTAL KOMBAT” IN THE MORTAL KOMBAT THEME, THERE’S PROBABLY ALREADY BEEN A FATALITY.

And guess what?  Cone snails don’t do that NOOB SHIT with the superficial biting or stinging.  Your wetsuit or gloves won’t protect you.  Because homeboy didn’t bring teeth to evolution’s knife fight.  Oh no.  It brought a motherfucking radula POISON HARPOON.  It’s lightning fast and has way more piercing power than some silly little cnidocytes or salivary bacteria.

Another component of their venom is being researched for its potential as a pain reliever.  “WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT????” you might reasonably ask.  And you would be right to do so, because science has gone too far and has surely sinned against the very image of Mollusca Kedavra.  Well, it turns out the answer is “Research shows that certain component proteins of the venom target specific human pain receptors and can be up to 10,000 times more potent than morphine without morphine’s addictive properties and side-effects.”  That’s right, the part of their venom that SPECIFICALLY DOESN’T HURT YOU is up to 10,000 times more potent than morphine.

Also, Conus geographus (along with one other cone snail species, C. tulipa) is the only known non-human animal to weaponize insulin.  In addition to the normal insulin that the snails produce for their own use, their bodies manufacture an ADDITIONAL insulin molecule that is similar to the kind produced in fish (which they eat) for the sole purpose of stunning their prey through hypoglycemic shock.  BECAUSE APPARENTLY THEY DON’T FEEL LIKE THEY’D KILL YOU HARD ENOUGH OTHERWISE.

IF you are going to survive the ALMIGHTY CONE SNAIL, WHO KNOWS NO FEAR, TRIUMPHANT HEDGEMON OF THE MOLECULAR ARMS RACE, TRUE BORN HEIR TO THE SCYTHE OF DEATH ITSELF, FISHSLAYER, GOD AMONG MOLLUSKS, WHOSE WRATH IS MERCIFUL ONLY IN ITS BREVITY, ADMIRABLE IN ITS BEAUTY AND UNSULLIED BY THE UNWORTHY TOUCH OF MORTAL HANDS OR SCALES OR REALLY ANYTHING IN RANGE OF ITS RADULA HARPOON, then literally the only thing that’s going to save you is for you to be kept alive artificially (externalizing your respiratory functions to force your body to continue breathing, basically) until the effects of the venom wear off.  And because of how quickly this venom acts, you need to get that medical attention VERY, VERY FAST.

And if you don’t get it, you will still be conscious while the paralysis slowly suffocates you to death.

Don’t touch the pretty shells.

Please write a whole book.

@shamrockjolnes
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iron-bae:

Trying to keep up on multiplayer with a bad internet connection

“DAMN U WI FI”
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narwhal-noir:

I took my girlfriend to an improv show the other night and during intermission we were passionately arguing over whether half a 5 Hour Energy shot would give you 2.5 hours of energy or 5 hours of half-assed energy so we turned around to ask the opinions of the three people behind us and one of them said “Are all your arguments like this because we heard you in the lobby earlier fighting over the right way to pronounce ‘egg’?”

Relationship goals
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oceanstops:

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nightowlett:

humans-are-seriously-weird:

Hey all! Some of you are asking about the bear incident. I will tell you in due course, but for now ill give you a teaser

It involves a bear, a tree, and a lack of pants

Well I’d be worried if the bear was wearing pants…

To clarify. Im lacking pants

hopefully you’re fully equipped with as many pants as you need at this point in time, i’d be much more worried if you didn’t have any pants at all.

To clarify AGAIN: AT THE TIME OF THE BEAR INCIDENT I WAS LACKING PANTS

CURRENTLY I HAVE MANY PANTS AT LEAST 2 OK

Okay but did the tree have pants

THE BEAR HAD NO PANTS I HAD NO PANTSAND THE TREE HAS MY PANTS OK

YOU WERE ROBBED BY A TREE???

…..maybe…..not exactly

As a non-native speaker I always wonder: pants as in two long tubes of fabric that go down to your ankles or pants as in the underwear.Please tell me it’s the latter

I mean at that point it was both

A tree panty thief… i always knew trees were suspicious…

Wait, how does the bear fit in??

DAMMIT YOU GUYS

I WAS GONNA GIVE THIS ONE TO YOU LATER WITH PROPER THOUGHT AND WRINTING BUT NO YA’LL HAVE NO CHILL

BUCKLE UP FRIENDS YOU’RE IN FOR A WILD RIDE

Ok so i’m twelve. little twelve year old Rekina. I was a scout for most of my life, so the forest is like home to me ok. In a city i get super turned around, can’t find my way around to save my life 

but drop me in a forest? man ill have an entire camp set up and find my way out in less than a day ok im wilderness survivor exrtordinare

So i’m out camping with my troop. We’re big kids now so the adults dicthed us for our very own solo three day hike

let me just say that my troop didn’t like me. I was the quiet nerd kid who read alone in my tent and kicked everyones aass at lighting fires, when they all were sneaking in booze, peeping on girls, and failing to light fires

So one afternoon while i’m out hunting for supper (a task no one has succeeded at, they just wanted me out of the way. fools) i discover i severly have to pee. So i got ahead and prop mysef agaisnt a tree as you do

Now, when you’re a girl, you don’t get the lucury of just whipping it out and pissing on a mushroom ok you have to remove all clothing from the lower half and squat agsint a tree like a weight lifter

so im doing my thing, my pants around my ankles, when i hear the bushes near by rustling

Those fucking boys i swear im going to kick their asses if they’re spying on me

but im midstream and you don’t just stop midtsream ina  forest cause then you drip all over your under wear and its not fun

I get two more seconds of peaceful pee time 

BAM the bush fucking explodes 

i scream, and almost fall over because my legs are getting tired ok peeing in a forest is hard work for women let me get an amen

But its fine, i look over and it isn’t one of the boys

it’s a baby bear no threat to me

I continue about my buisness. 

wait

baby bear =

mama bear

Sure enouogh the second i think that she rears up from behind the bush

now this thing is gigantic im talking would knock an nba player away from the hoop and get a slam dunk with out even trying ok

huge

I don’t move. I;m racking my brain like ok what did the manual say to do what would indiana jones do shitshitshitshit well ok as long as it doesn’t see me im safe ill just wait for it to go away and make no noise

she looks over and roars

had i not already been peeing i would have pissed my pants

I was caught, literally, with my pants down.

I think its time to beat a hasty retreat i threw the manual and indiana jones out the window

id like to say i calmly made my escape, floating like a graceful ballerina

didnt happen

i waddled away like a psychotic penguin screaming and flailing and being decidedly ungraceful ok i would have made Mumble proud for how my my little feet were moving i was like a penguin tap star

I booked it, desperaty trying to pull up my pants so i can at least die not looking like Bert from mary poopins doing his ridiculous little dance

so im running for life, a big ass knife in my hand and i know i won’t be able to stab this thing 

or out run it

or out last it

i couldnt out anything it

but im good at climbing

I beeline for this massive oak and scramble up that thing like a penguin, squirel hybrid. I prop my self up on one f the high branches, stilling trying to pull up my pants, but that’s kind of hard while your ass is being tickled by fire ants

lets just say i took the short cut down

I plummeted face first out of the tree, screaming like a banshee

The bear screamed back andd ran away because when i say banshee i mean banshee ok i have the shriek of a dolphin on helium

suddenly im not falling. 

A branch had snagged my jeans and now i was dangling maybe ten feet of the ground by my pants

in a true, rekina, cliche move, i slip from the branch and crsh the ground completely unharmed (except for my bruise dignity) and somehow managed to not stab myself with my knife on the way down

on small problem

i left my pants in the tree. 

The branch had flung my three layers of pants three different ways

my underwear fluttered to the ground beside me like the graceful ballerina i wish i was

my long underwear was twisted around a branch not far above my head

and my jeans had been freaking rocketed into one of the highest branches, the bough too thin for me to climb

i so i put on my now fire ant infested under wear (after doing my best to clean them and quickly snag my long johns because i know one thing for certain

i still see baby bear

mama is coming back

I high tail it like i have never high tailed before ok i was hauling ass outta there

I sprint for a good minute or so when suddenly a brown blur shoot from he bush and im thinking oh shit ima dead man  so i do the only logcal thing because im going down fighting aint no bear gonna find me curled on the ground

i lashed out with my knife like a frickin knight in shining armour except im not a knight

and im in my under wear

and it wasn’t a bear

in my amazing survival stab the beast reflexes i didn’t notice how low to the ground i was aiming

i had stabbed a water rat

you can bet your ass im not wasting that meat

I scoop it up, its blood splatterd all over my face and strut back towards camp

i roll in there pantsless, covered in blood, dirt, and fire ant, grinning like a maniac

“I found supper”

none of the boys ever peeped on me again

How are you even still alive

I wish i knew

how many of these stories do you have,, like you could probably fill a book

I have at least 30 that i can think of right now. Probs more. Not all are life threatening, but most are amusing

Ok but you are like Indiana Jones, you get into these weird situations and live. I think you should change your name. What did your parents name the dog? ;-)

Love your stories!!!

Where did you get that gif of me

Why are you so cool holy crap.

I think you misspelled “disastrously unlucky and danger prone”

“Humans are seriously weird” is actually a statistical error. Rekina, who lives in the woods and encounters wild animals and escapes relatively unscathed, is an outlier and should not have been counted.

I mean you got me there
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weedlesbian:

the key to a successful relationship u ask? make sure u n ur gf are bitter abt the same things so yall can talk shit
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english teacher explaining proper nouns: dont forget to capitalize!

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A post shared by George (@georgethegsd11) on Apr 11, 2017 at 1:59pm PDT

tastefullyoffensive:

“Wanna go for a… walk?”
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Apr. 30th, 2017 02:13 pm
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via http://ift.tt/2qikbhV:I Worked at Fyre Festival. It Was Always Going to Be a Disaster.:

grammarmancer:

vastderp:

actuallyanyanka:

five9:

cesspoolofemotions:

“Flying in, the water looked beautiful — but I was almost immediately warned not to go near it because of a rampant shark problem. That was an omen I regrettably missed. ”

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

On Wednesday, Ja Rule arrived for a “site visit.” I don’t know if he actually visited the “site” but he did spend a lot of time on a yacht, according to his Instagram. Meanwhile the event planners were holed up indoors putting together a game plan and a budget. With so little having been prepared ahead of time, the official verdict was that it would take $50 million to pull off. Planners also warned that it would be not be up to the standard they had advertised. The best idea, they said, would be to roll everyone’s tickets over to 2018 and start planning for the next year immediately. They had a meeting with the Fyre execs to deliver the news. A guy from the marketing team said, “Let’s just do it and be legends, man.”

I cannot explain how or why the bros running this festival ignored every warning sign they were given along the way. The writing was on the wall. I saw it firsthand six weeks ago. They overlooked so many very basic things. And baby, they forgot to make me sign an NDA.

this schadenfuckaree is even better than dashcon

I too was going to grab a great quote from this but holy shit just read the whole thing it’s amazing.
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Apr. 30th, 2017 02:18 pm
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pipistrellus:

kuttithevangu:

Honestly the mere fact that some people refer to Daddy Long Legs as “harvestmen” is creepier than 90% of all deliberately created horror but like the worst part is that the alternative is calling them Daddy Long Legs

#WHAT ARE THEY HARVESTING #I AM HAUNTED AND VEXED
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Her Royal Highness the Princess of Wales, Alexandra of Denmark.

Source
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I want to kiss her.

Not because I want to feel the softness of her fair lips or the warmth of her breath as she exhales against me.

I want to kiss her because I can’t think of any other way to fully express the beauty that she is. I want her to know that I see her as perfect. That she is perfect.


- catlanta23 (via gian-fisher)

Perfectly said

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Apr. 30th, 2017 07:58 pm
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tfw u wanna talk to someone but u feel like ur annoying them or ur boring and you just 
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inurashii:

laughingsquid:

Screen Pod, A Personal Pop-Up Screen Tent That Provides Shade and Protects You From Insects

look if I’m gonna have a palanquin it needs to at least come with carrying handles and hot oiled-up muscleboys
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deluxetrashqueen:

Honestly, Rick Rolling is the best practical joke ever. Like, there’s nothing offensive or mean  spirited about it. It’s just like “Oops you thought there would be something else here but it’s ‘Never Gonna Give You Up’.” which isn’t even a bad song. It’s fairly enjoyable to listen to. There’s no jumpscares, no screaming, no ill will. Just Rick Astley telling you he’s never going to give you up. I think that’s great. “You fell into my trap! Here, listen to this completely benign song that will have no negative effect on you.” 

I wish this were true. There’s a really good article about the problems inherent with rickrolling here.

Very interesting. I never thought about that and now I feel bad.
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Artist: Dusty Ray
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dontneedyourheroact:

i know you’ve all heard more than enough about this fyre festival thing but it is honestly Too Much and i am Obsessed With It

like a bunch of grown ass adults are on Great Exuma, which is the largest and most inhabited cay in the Bahaman district of Exuma. that’s where the capitol city of George Town is. it is by no means a deserted island or desolate wasteland. here’s their website in case you want to know more about this popular tourist locale.

these grown ass adults expected a luxury experience and got a regular camping experience. (all following info from this article) they got large tents which they could have easily shared with each other, but instead they fought over them and at least one person set their tent on fire because they hated it. their food was sub par but far from trash – one person complained that for breakfast they only got “Eggo waffles, cinnamon rolls and room temperature coffee.” here’s the George Town map on their website where you can find the variety of restaurants and grocery stores these dummies could have gone to for sustenance.

a lot of people have compared this hilarious shitshow to ‘Lord of the Flies,’ but that book was about a bunch of little boys during the Cold War crashing against their will on an actually deserted island and surviving for days, maybe even weeks without turning on each other. I won’t deny that the fyre festival people were scammed, but at the end of the day they are adults who paid to be on an inhabited island and only took hours to start looting and rioting.

i’ve seen a lot of people saying we shouldn’t make fun of this because these people are in ‘a terrible situation’ and like…. no they aren’t tho. they are in, at worst, an average situation, which they personally worsened with their greed and petulance.

anyway that’s all the info i have for now on why it’s totally okay to make fun of these idiots, have fun
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Apr. 30th, 2017 09:03 pm
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unicorn frappe 
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failedyoursavingthrow:

When they roll a 20:

When they roll a 1:

never not reblog the angry dooting=_=

When the enemy is a better bard than you
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When u hold your hand out to a cat and they close their eyes and bump it with their forehead reblog if u agree
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I got photos back of my Niles solo shoot from Katsucon!
Niles: @onemembercult
Niles wig by Slothtier Cosplay
Bow by TK Cosplay
Photography by EBW Photography and Videography
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Guardians of the Galaxy Cast Play Snog, Marry, Avoid: MARVEL Edition!
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fozmeadows:

jenndoesnotcare:

I just left my husband alone with our two children for sixteen days. I was not worried about anything regarding the house, their food, or their wellbeing. I put all the appointments in the family calendar and my husband checked it and kept them. I literally did not worry about them. I missed them, and I was sad that they missed me, but I didn’t worry about them AT ALL. I need to impress upon you all that I missed their company, but was not worried for their welfare.

I also did no meal prep. I don’t even think I went shopping right before I left.

This is not about apples and oranges. This isn’t even about my husband. This is about the fact that this is apparently WEIRD.

Another mum at my daughter’s school is leaving for ten days. She’s taking her youngest (who is a very small baby) and leaving her husband with their two girls. She has been cooking for days preparing freezer meals. She’s panicking and deputizing her six year old to remind him how to make school lunches. AND I AM APPALLED.

A) He is definitely not helpless. (He’s a doctor or something.) What gendered bullshit. B) THAT LITTLE GIRL IS NOT OLD ENOUGH TO BE RESPONSIBLE FOR HER AND HER SISTER’S WELLBEING. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK. C) Why is she married to this person and creating children with him if he’s this big of an idiot?

While she was laughingly recounting this, the other mums were nodding and smiling sympathetically, like oh yes, I too have my caveman at home!! Such managing required! I was the only one who was like “Dude, he’ll be fine. Literally. He will be fine.” I said it a lot. She was not convinced. She kept bringing up her older daughter. She’ll be like a little mum!

NO.

NO NO NO NO.

NO.

Straight women, don’t do this shit. It’s gross. Don’t infantilize your husbands and then expect your daughters to pick up the slack. So fucking gross. So. So. GROSS.

The fact that so many adults think a six year old girl is more capable of learning and performing basic domestic tasks than a grown-ass man says it all, really. 

This stuff is so toxic and awful. I told a car full of women one time that I refused to be in another relationship until I met a man who was capable of making his own doctors’ appointments and washing the dishes. They told me I was going to die alone.

Fuck this shit. Don’t enable men’s incompetence and label it cute.
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[30/04] HAPPY BIRTHDAY PHICHIT! 🐹💕
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By All Means

you can also read it here

Thank. You. It shouldn’t need to be said at all, but you did a stellar job!
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Pleasant reminder.
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kremlint:

burdenoculeous:

kremlint:

burdenoculeous:

kremlint:

my favorite part of flying home to texas is when the pilot yells YEEEEE HAWWWW WE’RE IN TEXAS NOW BOYS and fires his revolvers into the roof of the cockpit. 

I’ve been on flights to and from Texas

I can guarantee you the pilot does not do this at all

They’d be jobless if they did that

no, they are legally required to do this. obviously, you don’t know what you’re talking about.

Let me ask you this

Have you been on a plane from Texas to somewhere?

Or on a plane at all?

There’s a certain process that happens before you get on a plane for storing your weapon if your bringing one

They hold them in a separate compartment on the plane

How would the pilot be able to fire his revolvers into the roof of the cockpit?

Son, let me tell you a couple of things about planes. First of all, the planes are really big, so there are a lot of places to put your guns. The pilot gets special privileges. They are allowed to put their guns anywhere and are allowed to fire them during flight. The holes they make are easily repaired and are not a problem (don’t let air out, etc.) We do things differently around these parts, and clearly, you don’t know what you’re talking about. You’re out of your element.

I don’t think that burenoculeious knows any Texans.
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seijcu:

tumblr already had a memories function like facebook and you can activate it by pissing off a 13 yr old enough for them to go through your blog and find something problematic you posted from 4 years ago
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