Apr. 9th, 2017

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by kirayusa
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dont let tumblr make you think its okay to live in florida
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Parts of this 1974 yearbook I found reads like a shitpost.
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The fuck is going on right now

This is such a finely aged post
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Coworker #1: *coughing*
Coworker #2: you ok?
Coworker #1: that's what happens when you try to breathe porkchops
Me: don't let your *aspirations* get the better of you
Coworker #1: I will throw these bones at you
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Parody and satire are dead. There is only deconstruction and reconstruction.

I know of one good parody

Which one

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*puts a normal sized carrot in a bag of baby carrots so they have adult supervision*
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weed man is ready to play persona 3

god damn it i forgot how japanese names work
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me online age 13: there's a little thing called proper spelling and grammar, sweetie. :)
me online now: YALL I just went to the grocery store and? omg???????? my left tit got caught in the fucknig conveyor belt at the checkout and Im hdhehdjdndndnejkjnnbgghdddjhn
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Apr. 9th, 2017 03:48 am
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Me, on a date: How do you feel about the regional gothic meme?

Date: I think it’s a little silly I mean it’s just a series of awkward injokes…

I reach for the breadsticks but they aren’t there. The basket it empty. I open my purse and from within it comes tumbling breadsticks. Soft breadsticks. Crunchy breadsticks. Buttered breadsticks. Garlic breadsticks. They cover the table, spilling off onto the floor. My date is looking at me. He does not, can not understand. He is made of flesh. The sticks do not speak to him.

Me: I’m sorry I have to leave immediately.

The breadsticks continue to fall.
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nervousness level: ben wyatt
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me: *overthinks everything and cries*
*5 minutes later*
also me: *sees funny post and laughs* oh okay im back
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Apr. 9th, 2017 04:08 am
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person: How are you?
me: i literally have no idea
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When your mutual adds a dumb ass comment to a post and you gotta reblog from the source
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Someone explain

you see when woman loves another woman very very much,
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Giovanna Garzoni

A Bitch


um, rude? let her enjoy her snack in peace
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Please fire me. A lady came in screaming and ranting how we wrote an obscene insult on her sandwich. Turns out she ordered a BLT with cheese. We wrote Blt +ch on it. It took me and a manager 15 minutes just to calm her down enough to even listen to us.

sounds like she was a real BLT with cheese
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Artwork: Nneka by Camille Alazet | Motion Effect by rexisky  
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Some person: oh so you’re gay now?

Me: bitch i’ve 
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Apr. 9th, 2017 11:53 am
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Beautiful. (via VBagate)

reblog the burger king supermoon for good luck in 2017
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2007: you are a pirate

2012: cooking by the book

2016: we are number one

science proves that a new lazytown meme reveals itself once about every four years. what will the the 2020 lazytown meme be? only time will tell

No, the rate is increasing. The new one will be in 2019, then 2021, then 2022. By 2024 we could be seeing a new Lazytown meme every six hours.

lazy town memes but every time a new one happens it gets faster
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If a ghost can open cupboards and break things, why not just take a pencil, find paper, write exactly why it’s unhappy, and tape the message on the fridge.

It just became second nature to close all the cupboards first thing in the morning (even though they’d been closed the night before). Which was when things escalated from banging cupboard doors to actually breaking things.

Faucets, door handles, curtain rods ripped from the wall… all the repairs started to add up.

“Look, I didn’t mind having an ethereal roommate, but I can’t afford to keep fixing all this shit. Here’s a pencil and some paper. Just write what’s bothering you–I doubt you could put anything that would be more expensive than having a plumber come out to replace all the faucets again.”

The next morning there’s a scrawl line at the top of the page that devolved into an angry scribbling mess that tore through the page. Two cupboard doors were entirely ripped off.

“I don’t want to get someone in to banish you, but this is ridiculous. Just tell me what you want.”

The second piece of paper is ripped into shreds and several knives are embedded in the wall.

A careful examination of the paper scraps show that it had the same scribbles as the first piece.

A quick trip to the library and a stop at a store later, there are kindergarten workbooks on learning to write spread across the counter.

“Look, I don’t know if you’re just being difficult, but I hope not. So I got an audiobook on learning to read and write, and here are some workbooks for kids–don’t get mad–to teach them their letters. Just press play on the stereo, and work through the books at your own pace. I’ll get more when you finish.”

The first workbook is half-completed before being ripped to pieces, but at least there was no other damage. Replacing it is significantly cheaper than replacing cupboard doors.

It takes awhile, but eventually the workbooks progress to a fifth grade level. These ones are starting to be more costly (they’re bigger, for one thing), but it’s not even the money anymore. Little notes scrawled in a shaky hand appear on the steamy bathroom mirror

Have A gooD dy

Or written in ketchup on the counter (that was a frightening sight the first time)

You R out of MLK

And then one day there’s a message taped to the fridge. The spelling and penmanship isn’t the best, but it’s legible and even signed.

Dear Occupente,

I have haunted this spot for ovr three huner hudre 300 years. My bones are dust and I am fergotN. I do not have wants to trap me. I am here 4 ever.

I am bord. Lonly.

I am sorrY 4 breaking things.

We be frends?

Syncerly Eloise

I love you, Eloise
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i hope im a positive influence on somebody’s life
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aggressively southern gay
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it looks like toast jail

They’ve been taken into crustody…

bad and naughty slices

are put in the 
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not even a third wheel cause i dont have two friends
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Snow Leopard | Steven Vacher
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carrie fisher didn’t get laid to rest in a prozac-shaped urn for us not to take our meds…………. so take your meds

i kno posts like this are meant to be positive and nice but like… medications arent a nice pure glass of water theyve got all sorts of social and historical baggage. uwu stay medicated is not a trend we should be getting on

Okay but I don’t care about nebulous baggage, I care about my neurochemical state permitting me to retain executive function so I can be a relatively competent human being who feels like life is pretty okay at least some of the time. So I will absolutely uwu stay medicated and the many other people whose lives would be better if they took their meds should absolutely uwu stay medicated, and I wish to strongly urge everyone else to uwu stop and think critically before you blithely parrot baseless handwringing rooted in the bizarre social stigma against literally just taking medicine for illnesses.

Thanks for reading, have a nice day, ooh woo take ur fuckin meds
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There is no talk of finding Moana a husband. SHE is going to be chief of her village. No one can take that from her.

How Moana is a competent leader before she even sets out on her journey.

The village seems to have more or less a hereditary monarchy that disregards gender and the matriarchal influence is clear: Moana is mostly inspired by her grandmother and the major deity in this movie is a Mother Goddess.

“Crazy” does not mean worthy of ridicule.

The central questions: “Do you know who you are? How do you know who you are?” Those cut deep.

The sibling relationship between Moana and Maui.

The vision about the ancient wayfinders. And “Know the Way,” which makes the entire sequence a million times more emotional.

This might be a Disney Princess movie, but it is also solidly an action movie.

Moana doesn’t like being called “princess”.

The goddamn gold-plated glow-in-the-dark giant crab. Who sings well.

Forehead touches. Between a human girl and a goddess.

The fact that Heihei manages to do ONE USEFUL THING in the entire movie.

Moana is so sturdily built. She managed to clock Maui, of all people.

Nature has agency.

How Gramma Tala’s passing is quietly understated. Her last words to Moana are those of sincere encouragement and her death is not explicitly shown. But you see the huge luminous sting ray a couple minutes later and you just know.

The entire sequence at the beginning that depicts island life. And Chris Jackson’s singing. Everyone’s singing, really.

Moana gulping deep lungfuls of air the first time her canoe overturned is so realistic, I could feel myself choking on ocean water.

The coconut pirates. They are VICIOUS little fuckers.

Moana earning a place among Maui’s tattoos.

Gramma Tala’s spirit is solid enough to hug. No more “LOOK INSIDE YOURSELF SIMBA” from the clouds.

Disney smashing the fourth wall and throwing shade at their own Princess story formula.

Romance is never ever ever even hinted at. Because Moana is all of 14 years old and she has bigger things on her mind.

All the songs. ALL OF THEM. They hit just the right emotional cues.

How culturally rich Disney managed to make this movie.

The sheer vividness of the animation. The wealth of expression on the faces of these characters. The colors.

I hope you don’t mind if I add to this

- Moana and Maui tying their hair up (as a native Polynesian girl I can say with full certainty that putting our hair in a bun with one hand is a skill you are born with)

- Maui himself was such a huge part of my childhood I loved seeing him in a Disney Movie

- Seriously, during “You’re Welcome” I was practically screaming in the theater because I GREW UP WITH THAT

- The fact that the water is a character

- Her hair was constantly slapping her in the fact that was beautiful

- During a lot of Maui’s scenes I could see The Rock’s Samoan Culture peeking through (I’m Samoan, this made me cry)

- Maui’s size

- I have brothers his shape and build, with his hair, and with tons of tattoos, I saw them in him and it also made me cry

- Tamatoa

- The line where Moana sings “I’m a girl who loves my island” because that made my heart sing

- “I will carry you here in my heart!” Because yes, yes, yes, when someone we love dies they stay with us-we carry them forever

- The disembodied voice of Lin Manuel-Miranda
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The first licensed female doctors of India, Japan, and Syria posing together in 1885

via reddit

Keep reading
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Me: I wonder if there actually are long-term mental health and societal harm being done with how ubiquitous the internet and digital communication has become
Some Artist: Here's a picture of phones sucking out people's souls
Me: y'know what if there are we'll just all have to die cause I am not throwing in with you
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“Charles Roka (Roka Karoly, 1912–1999) was a Hungarian painter living in Norway whose name became synonymous with an excess of artistic kitsch.Roka was born in Hungary in 1912. After he finished his studies on the Academy of Fine Arts in Budapest he went on a European journey. In 1937 he finally settled in Norway, and lived in Baerum, outside Oslo until his death. In 1950 he painted his first picture of the half-naked Gipsy Girl whom he had seen in Marseille a few years earlier. It is Roka’s numerous variations of this Gypsy Girl which made his financial success as a painter. His other favourite subjects were Hungarian folklore, especially Gipsy people dancing csardas and portraits.”
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straight people: *makes literally hating your spouse a cultural norm*
straight people: gays are ruining marriage

Straight people: *creates a game show about strangers getting married*
Straight people: Sanctity of marriage. 

Straight People: (Create a game show about straight women competing to marry a man JUST because he’s rich)

Straight People: Marriage is SACRED
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