Apr. 22nd, 2017

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Apr. 22nd, 2017 05:15 am
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the-crocodiles-mistake:

Rip
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science-and-coke:

oddbagel:

eggito:

BOOBS ARE LITERALLY LUMPS WITH SMALLER LUMPS ON TOP WHAT IS SO SEXUALLY ATTRACTIVE ABOUT A LUMP!!!!

What is sexually attractive about any human body part really? Penises are just tubes with lumps connected to them. Asses are also just lumps. Your face is just a collection of different types of lumps and there’s a hole on it. Everything is just a lump. I can’t get off to this. Now, a rhombus, that’s something I could fuck the shit out of.
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Apr. 22nd, 2017 10:23 am
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loveofromance:

Appreciation Post: Period drama ladies reading books
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theminttu:

Pirate queen Isabela please cure me from this art block!! roars!!!
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kimchicuddles:

When support doesn’t feel supportive.

Support Kimchi Cuddles by becoming a patron! Thank you SO MUCH for your support!! http://ift.tt/1zCOAF6
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swordlesbianopinions:

higglety:

swordlesbianopinions:

honest confession from me to you aside from swords i also am a little bit of an archery gay fan and i think if you could shoot a sword like an arrow from a bow then humanity would be an unstoppable force to be reckoned with

Why would you shoot your sword like an arrow? You need to keep your sword on hand as a sidearm in case your enemies close to melee range

how would they get close if you already shot them with your sword.
theres absolutely no flaws in this plan
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sameboot:

Apr. 22nd, 2017 05:13 pm
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lovelyie:

Tikiri hunting on that cat toy i gave her.
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yourmajestyyy:

jainz:

frozun:

i think a lot of people forget that you can actually still come across as confident and have social anxiety

I TRY TO EXPLAIN THIS TO PEOPLE ALL THE TIME
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eva-420:

Apr. 22nd, 2017 09:23 pm
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jessicaanicoleexo:

I want to watch a thunderstorm on a balcony with coffee and good company.
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feynites:

minesottafatspoollegend:

i love in fantasy when its like “king galamir the mighty golden eagle and his most trusted advisor who would never betray him, gruelworm bloodeye the treacherous”

When my sister and I were kids we had this one action figure, who was actually a brutalized batman doll without his cape (the dog chewed half his head, too), who we dubbed ‘Evil Chancellor Traytor’. The idea was that in the fictional society of our toys, ‘chancellor’ just came with the word ‘evil’ in front of it, as a matter of ancient tradition. Like ‘grand’ or ‘high’ or something along those lines.

Anyway, the running gag was that the king (an old Power Rangers knock-off doll) had absolute and unwavering faith in Evil Chancellor Traytor, who basically comported himself like a mix between Grima Wormtongue and Jafar from the Aladdin movies. Everyone was always sure that Evil Chancellor Traytor had something to do with the nefarious scheme of the day. The dude even carried around a poisoned knife called ‘the kingslayer’.

The additional twist on the joke, though, was that he never was behind anything. The king was actually right. Evil Chancellor Traytor was the most devoted civil servant in the entire Action Figure Dystopia. He spent his nights working on writing up new legislature to ensure that broken toys had access to mobility devices, was always on the lookout to acquire new shoeboxes for expanding city infrastructure, and drafted a proposal that once got half the ‘settlement’ in my sister and I’s closet moved to the upper shelf so that vulnerable toys were less likely to be snatched up by the dog.

The knife, as it turned out, was as symbolic as the ‘evil’ in his name. See, Action Figure Dystopia had a long history of corrupted monarchs getting too big for their thrones and exploiting the underclasses. The job of the Evil Chancellor was to always remain vigilant, and loyally serve a good ruler - or, if the regent should became a despot, to slay them on behalf of the people.

But since killing the king would be a terrible crime, the Evil Chancellor had to be the kind of person who would willingly die to spare the people from the plight of a wicked leader; because the murder would be pinned on them, in order to keep the ‘machinery of politics’ working as smoothly as ever.

Anyway, Evil Chancellor Traytor had a diary, in which my sister I would take turns writing out the most over-the-top good shit he’d done behind the scenes. Usually after everyone else had finished talking shit about him. I don’t know why but we got the biggest kick out of being like:

Barbie With the Unfortunate Haircut: Oh that Evil Chancellor Traytor! Why can’t the king see how wicked he is?!

Charmander From the Vending Machine: Char!

Jurassic Park Toy of Jeff Goldblum With Disturbingly Realistic Face: At least if someone puts a knife in the king’s back, we’ll know where to look!

Evil Chancellor Traytor’s Diary: Today I was feeding ducks at the park when I noticed another legless action figure sitting by the benches. I put a hundred dollars into his bag while he wasn’t looking. I really need to increase budgeting to the medical treatment centers. If only we had enough glue, I think we would see far fewer toys trying to get by without limbs… *insert iconic evil laugh*

Anyway, Evil Chancellor Traytor eventually fell victim to one of my mom’s cleaning sprees, and she decided he was too busted up to keep and tossed him out. My littler brother, who tended to follow my sister and I’s games like he was watching a daily soap opera, cried so hard that we had to do a special ‘episode’ where one of the toys found the Evil Chancellor’s diary, and so he got a big huge memorial and the king threw himself into the empty grave and then ordered the toys driving the toy bulldozer to bury him so that ‘Traytor’s grave would have a body’ (this seemed very important for some reason).

And then we had the Quest For a New King. Somehow or another that ended up being a giant rubber snake called ‘Tyrant King Cobra’.
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Apr. 22nd, 2017 10:28 pm
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Apr. 22nd, 2017 10:28 pm
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babyanimalgifs:

THESE MAKE ME SO HAPPY
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lomasdope:

a relationship with a good flirt to roast ratio
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Rachel

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