Apr. 8th, 2017

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Apr. 8th, 2017 02:18 am
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heaven-ly-mind:

Light of the Lambs by Claes Karlsson on 500px
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In my dream last night I was proving that I could fit ten cookies in my mouth, and I seriously keep laughing every time I remember it.
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lyonnnss:

nofuckingway
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bogleech:

it will be a cold day in hell before I give up eating banana skeletons
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skytheservicedog:

servicek9s:

1. ASK THE HANDLER

2. IF SAY NO THEN WALK AWAY 

3. IF SAY YES LET DOG SNIFF

4. IF DOG SAY YES, PROCEED WITH PETTING

5. IF DOGGO HAS A VEST ON JUST DONT ASK

IMPORTANT
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scaliefox:

fuck-customers:

Today at work I spent two hours doing inventory adjustments for my department. The process is essentially, count the number of a product on the shelf and see if it matches the number the computer says we have, then change the computer number to the correct amount. One or two items missing is normal. Stuff gets miscounted or the wrong barcode gets scanned or maybe the tags fell off and we ring it up as something else. That’s just par for the course. 200+ items is not.

Today alone in just ONE department there was over $1200 of merchandise missing.

I’m going to get my butt chewed out because $1200 is missing from my department and I don’t know where it went. That’s $1200 that my store will have to cover. That’s $1200 that comes out of payroll budget, which is already way too thin. $1200 is almost exactly one months pay for one employee, meaning we will probably have to let someone go, because we are losing this amount on an almost daily basis.

Fuck you and your lame excuses. When you shoplift, it isn’t hurting the corporation. It’s hurting the employees.

When you shoplift it means that one of my coworkers won’t be able to pay her bills this month. It means she won’t be able to afford to eat every day. It means that my coworkers and I will have to find a way to sneak gas money into her purse so that she can get home.

It means that corporate is going to make us tighten security. We will have to purchase more cameras and more alarms and more tags, with money we don’t have, which means hours will get cut even more. It means we will have to participate in shrink prevention programs, like consenting to having our belongings searched before we leave because corporate still insists that most of our shrink is internal.

I can understand if you are stealing food because you’re hungry, or medicine because you’re sick. it’s still wrong, but I understand that and if I saw you stealing food or medicine, I would probably look the other way and pay for it myself.

But you can’t eat cosmetics, ok? You won’t die without lipstick. You won’t suffer because you don’t have Levi jeans. You won’t get sick because you don’t have a wallet & penknife gift set, you’re just being a shitty person.

Enjoy your $12.00 compacts you crudnuggets. I hope it’s worth our jobs.

This why you don’t frickin’ shoplift.

The owners of the company blame the workers for your asshole behavior and take it out on them. You’re literally hurting every day people working blue collar jobs, stocking shelves, and running tills just like you.
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tooquirkytolose:

tooquirkytolose:

nonsense phrases ive seen on this site that make me laugh everytime:

1. HIM BIG

2. im dying squirtle

3. this kills the man

and last but not least

4. he chunch those leafs

very important update:

5. lov the cronch
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earlhamclassics:

thoodleoo:

thoodleoo:

there’s a lot of evidence that the iliad and the odyssey were actually composed by a variety of poets through an oral tradition rather than just by one poet, so what if the homeric texts are actually just a very long game of D&D

homer, the dm: okay achilles, agamemnon has just taken away your war prize, what do you want to doachilles’ player: i roll to have a diplomatic conversation with agamemnonachilles’ player: *rolls a 1*homer: you throw the staff of speaking at agamemnon’s face and storm off to sulk with your boyfriend

Homer, the DM: Your beautiful Patroclus is dead. What do you do?Achilles’ player: I fight everyone.Homer, the DM: You can’t fight everyone. How would you even–Achilles’ player: *rolls a 20* I fight everyone.Homer, the DM: *sighs* Fine. You cut a path through the Trojan army, enemy dead strewn in your wake.Achilles’ player: How many?Homer, the DM: …lots. Enough to clog the friggin’ river with bodies.Achilles’ player: I fight the river.Homer, the DM: You. can. not. fight. the. river.Achilles’ player: *reaches for dice*
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violent-darts:

zorohime:

Straight people know that you’re supposed to like your partner right? Like enjoy them as another human being?

There are times I seriously wonder. 
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theultravioletcatastrophe:

UNU what’s this?
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theultravioletcatastrophe:

bace-jeleren:

ubersaur:

today i rolled a critical miss on giving a thumbs up so my character just started sobbing

Big mood

…okay but I wanna know why you had to roll for giving a thumbs up. I would think that would be a free action. Were you trying to convince someone of something, or…? Like what kinda check were you rolling? DAMMIT WE NEED ANSWERS
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miss-annabel:

That cutie Phichit ♡

Commissions open / Twitter

PSD & high res image for patreon: http://ift.tt/2oMcWOG
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tobiramasenju:

reblog this and tag ur most embarrassing fandom phase mine was. south park
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randomidiocyncrazies:

sociallinkmax:

i love games that encourages multiple playtroughs where u can make different decisions and i just make the same goody two shoes choices all over again excpet i romance a diffeent person. im so good at this

“i love exploring different branching narrative paths” i say, as i pick the same choices all over again
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doyoulovelamp:

irklikeswaffletoo:

When someone compliments me I too make a loud, jarring noise

“Hey, I like your shirt”

“mmmMMMMMMMWWWWWWAAAAAAHHHH”
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awaari:

the-lord-of-the-pies:

kitsu-hime:

sixpenceee:

Mouse vole sleeping in the iris, Moscow oblast, Russia (Source)

WHAT KINDA FAIRY TALE CHILDREN’S BOOK BULLSHIT IS THIS?????!?!?!!!!

@awaari

Dats a smarty bean right dere
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ohthebrave:

It doesn’t happen like that. You don’t just wake up one day and find that everything has worked itself out. You must get out of bed, morning after morning, and make a conscious effort to control the circumstances of that given day. You must learn to handle your issues with grace because you respect what they are attempting to teach you. You must drown your insecurities slowly, one self-realization at a time. You must allow yourself to feel the fear bubbling just beneath your skin but you must never allow it the satisfaction of crippling you; grit your teeth and march on. You see, they never tell you how hard these things will be. This fight to reclaim yourself is not easy or straightforward but, my god, is it necessary. 
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officialbaio:

etudier….

etud…

etu…

et…

e…

d…

dor…

dorm…

dormir.
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Photo

Apr. 8th, 2017 01:13 pm
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cat-pun:

“you’re so polite!” thank you i have anxiety
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alisayamin:

applehemmings:

mrv3000:

Imagining a story in your head:

Writing down the story:

As a writer, I can confirm this.

Thank you for the visual aid of every story I ever wrote
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cedorsey:

Surrounded By Beauty
Photo Credit: (Naomi Locardi)

The photographer deserves credit so DO NOT remove credit information. Thank you.
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Photo

Apr. 8th, 2017 06:38 pm
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wizardjpeg:

reading some tomes (that’s wizard for book)
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25th-hokage:

reinadelacastles:

I absolutely love children

I’m the hotdog girl
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dog: lets out the most genuine & affected sigh possible
me: what's happened? who or what has brought such suffering upon your world-weary, furry shoulders? can i do anything? can anything be done? will you ever be at peace? please rest
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Rachel

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