Jan. 16th, 2017

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effingsorceress:

afro-elf:

killbenedictcumberbatch:

yall complain about ad targeting but then reblog weird ass memes like bode and here come dat boi and then mutate jokes until they’re completely unrecognizable “oh yeah why the fuck would tumblr think i wanted to see an ad for amish clickbait articles” because your interests make no sense, pal

“what could we sell to the kids this month? what are they into?”

“i literally have no fucking clue, jim.”

“kosher veggie chips?” “yes! that’s exactly the thing”
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animatedamerican:

lemonsharks:

tumbleaboutit:

pocheposh:

Poche Posh is the first and only store where all the clothes have pockets

Poche Posh was created by me (Jessica) and my best friend Visha who noticed that most of our clothes didn’t have pockets. After seeing years of Tumblr complaints, and being excited every time our clothes had pockets, we decided to create Poche Posh. All the clothes have pockets. Yes - all of them!

Thank you all so much, this entire company was inspired by the people of Tumblr (I have another account, and have been on the site for 6 years, and after seeing people constantly talk about pockets I knew that something had to be done

Share this with anyone who loves pockets on their clothes!

SCREAMING

I HAVE WAITED FOR THIS MY ENTIRE LIFE

THIS IS AMAZING

They don’t have plus sizes yet, but according to the website they’re coming soon!  And you can sign up to be notified when they do.
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mediamattersforamerica:

This is a huge deal. Don’t sugarcoat it. 
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tinytheursaring:

computervsworld:

as we all know, the best vines are the ones with dogs. here’s a bunch of doggy vines!!!!!!

i reblogged this to my main too but y'all need to see this
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popgoesthewiener:

sarahculture:

Tips on Drawing Hands Tutorial

Hope this is helpful!

Twitter

DeviantArt

@toddnjordbremer
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me before showering: i don’t want to shower
me once in the shower: i live here now
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Southerner: "I'm cold."
Northerner: "YOU THINK THIS IS COLD because relative to your usual experience, it is. Let me make you hot chocolate."
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cognitivedissonance:

adam807:

lilsi100:

cognitivedissonance:

natalie-ann:

asmilinggoddess:

thefuuuucomics:

cognitivedissonance:

darthmobius:

cognitivedissonance:

I have bronchitis. Thanks to the ACA, I was able to get medicine for $0. #ThanksObama

LIES.

that came from taxes I paid.

Well, let my know how much I owe you and I’ll drop a few pennies in the mail. War comes from taxes you paid, and I personally dislike the amount I pay going for that… Maybe we should check “yes” or “no” on our 1040 forms this year for allocation of tax dollars.

I’m sorry you think I’m lying, but I’m not. I qualified for the Medicaid expansion under the ACA, which is partially funded through taxpayer revenue. I don’t think the IRS mailed you a letter saying, “Nah nah nah nah naaaaaaah! This year’s tax dollars went to pay for medicine for poor people mwahahaha!” Who knows? Maybe YOUR portion of tax dollars went to a Hellfire missile that took out a village in Afghanistan. Ooh, how exciting for you!

Comfort yourself with that thought as I use my inhaler, which I would not have been able to afford without the ACA.

#gonna need obamacare to afford treatment for that burn jackass

what the fuck is wrong with Americans who aren’t on board with free healthcare. I’m Canadian and I don’t care that I pay extra taxes so a little boy in Alberta can have open heart surgery, or an elderly man in Nova Scotia can get the heart medication he desperately needs. It’s called taking care of your people. I’m glad I pay so that people can have a good quality of life. It’s called being a decent fucking human being.

This ↑

UK agrees! 

Well this seems worth reposting this week.

This post from three years ago received the most notes of anything I’ve put up here.

Fun fact:

After getting this medicine, I got back up on my feet and got a temp job, which then led to me getting a full time job I’ve had for three years. I haven’t been eligible for Medicaid since September of 2014. I have a great policy I purchased on the state exchange. I paid federal taxes in 2015 and 2016 gladly.

And now these spineless, heartless, greedy, craven, Nazi-humping shitheels want to take it away from all of us. Call your representatives. Make your voices heard. The repeal has already begun. But it’s still not too late.
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keybladeofsteel:

valencing:

current mood: house democrats coming up with pointedly thin excuses to skip the trump inauguration

“My mom said I can’t go”
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thewolverina:

thefingerfuckingfemalefury:

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deadcatwithaflamethrower:

theotherguysride:

ciiriianan:

dragon-in-a-fez:

dragon-in-a-fez:

the-real-seebs:

roachpatrol:

underscorex:

megabeeprime:

froborr:

roachpatrol:

roachpatrol:

prokopetz:

writebastard:

prokopetz:

Random Headcanon: That Federation vessels in Star Trek seem to experience bizarre malfunctions with such overwhelming frequency isn’t just an artefact of the television serial format. Rather, it’s because the Federation as a culture are a bunch of deranged hyper-neophiles,
tooling around in ships packed full of beyond-cutting-edge tech they
don’t really understand. Endlessly frustrating if you have to fight
them, because they can pull an effectively unlimited number of bullshit
space-magic countermeasures out of their arses - but they’re as likely
as not to give themselves a lethal five-dimensional wedgie in the
process. All those rampant holograms and warp core malfunctions and
accidentally-traveling-back-in-time incidents? That doesn’t actually
happen to anyone else; it’s literally just Federation vessels that go off the rails like that. And they do so on a fairly regular basis.

So to everyone else in the galaxy, all humans are basically Doc Brown.

Aliens who have seen the Back to the Future movies literally don’t realise that Doc Brown is meant to be funny. They’re just like “yes, that is exactly what all human scientists are like in my experience”.

THE ONLY REASON SCOTTY IS CHIEF ENGINEER INSTEAD OF SOMEONE FROM A SPECIES WITH A HIGHER TECHNOLOGICAL APTITUDE IS BECAUSE EVERYONE FROM THOSE SPECIES TOOK ONE LOOK AT THE ENTERPRISE’S ENGINE ROOM AND RAN AWAY SCREAMING

vulcan science academy: why do you need another warp core

humans: we’re going to plug two of them together and see if we go twice as fast

vsa: last time we gave you a warp core you threw it into a sun to see if the sun would go twice as fast

humans: hahaha yeah

humans: it did tho

vsa: IT EXPLODED

humans: it exploded twice as fast

I love this. Especially because of how well it plays with my headcanon that the Federation does so much better against the Borg than anyone else because beating the Borg with military tactics is nigh-impossible, but beating them with wacky superscience shenanigans works as long as they’re unique wacky superscience shenanigans.

Yeah, I love this.

Reminds me of the thing I wrote a while back about Humans in high fantasy realms - they’re basically Team Fuck It Hold My Beer I Got This.

Impulsive, passionate to a fault, the social structures they build to try and regulate this hotheadedness ironically creates even greater levels of sheer bull-headedness. Even their “cooler” heads take action in months or weeks.

All their great heroes of the past were impossibly rash by galactic standards. Humans Just Go With It, which is their great flaw but also their greatest strength.

klingons: okay we don’t get it

vulcan science academy: get what

klingons: you vulcans are a bunch of stuffy prisses but you’re also tougher, stronger, and smarter than humans in every single way

klingons: why do you let them run your federation

vulcan science academy: look

vulcan science academy: this is a species where if you give them two warp cores they don’t do experiments on one and save the other for if the first one blows up

vulcan science academy: this is a species where if you give them two warp cores, they will ask for a third one, immediately plug all three into each other, punch a hole into an alternate universe where humans subscribe to an even more destructive ideological system, fight everyone in it because they’re offended by that, steal their warp cores, plug those together, punch their way back here, then try to turn a nearby sun into a torus because that was what their initial scientific experiment was for and they didn’t want to waste a trip. 

vulcan science academy: they did that last week. we have the write-up right here. it’s getting published in about six hundred scientific journals across two hundred different disciplines because of how many established theories their ridiculous little expedition has just called into question. also, they did turn that sun into a torus, and no one actually knows how. 

vulcan science academy: this is why we let them do whatever the hell they want. 

klingons: …. can we be a part of your federation

Come to think of it, I mean. Look at the “first human warp drive” thing in the movie. That was… Not how Vulcans would have done it.

you know what the best evidence for this is? Deep Space 9 almost never broke down. minor malfunctions that irritated O’Brien to hell and back, sure, but almost none of the truly weird shit that befell Voyager and all the starships Enterprise. what was the weirdest malfunction DS9 ever had? the senior staff getting trapped as holosuite characters in Our Man Bashir, and that was because a human decided to just dump the transporter buffer into the station’s core memory and hope everything would work out somehow, which is a bit like swapping your computer’s hard drive out for a memory card from a PlayStation 2 and expecting to be able to play a game of Spyro the Dragon with your keyboard and mouse.

you know what, I’m not done with this post. let’s talk about the Pegasus. the USS Fucking Pegasus,
testbed for the first Starfleet cloaking device. here we have a handful
of humans working in secret to develop a cloaking device in violation
of a treaty with the Romulans. they’re playing catchup trying to develop
a technology other species have had for a century. and what do they do?
do they decide to duplicate a Romulan cloaking device precisely, just
see if they can match what other species have? nope. they decide, hey,
while we’re at it, while we’re building our very first one of these things, just to find out if this is possible, let’s see if we can make this thing phase us out of normal space so we can fly through planets while we’re invisible.

“but why” said the one Vulcan in the room.

“because that would fucking rule” said the humans, high-fiving each other and slamming cans of 24th-century Red Bull.

there
must be like twenty different counselling groups for non-human
engineering students at Starfleet Academy, and every week in every
single one of them someone walks in and starts up with a story like “our
assignment was to repair a phaser emitter and my one human classmate
built a chronometric-flux toaster that toasts bread after you’ve eaten
it.”

Humans get mildly offended by the way they are presented in non-human media.

Like: “Guys, we totally wouldn’t do that!” But this always fails to get much traction, because the authors can always say: “You totally did.”

“That was ONE TIME.” 

There’s that movie where humans invented vaccines by just testing them on people. Or the one about those two humans who invented powered flight by crashing a bunch of prototypes. Or the one about electricity. 

And human historians go, “Oh, uh, this is historically accurate, but also kind of boring.” To which the producers respond: “How is doing THIS CRAZY THING boring????????”

There are entire serieses of horror movies where the premise is “We stopped paying attention to the human and ey found the technology.”

reblog for new meta. RE that last line: McGuyver. 

“MacGuyver” is the equivalent of Vulcan vintage human horror television.

during orientation at a human college, vulcans are presented with a list of swear words. 

“what is the word ‘fuck’ for,” the innocent young vulcans want to know. “surely there are more logical intensity modifiers.”

“yeah, you’d think so,” say the weary, jaded vulcan professors. “you’d really fucking think so.”

there is a phrase in vulcan for ‘the particular moment you understand what the word ‘fuck’ is for’. 

This is why the Federation is the only organisation to ever stand a chance against the Borg

The Borg can adapt to the brilliant millitary strategies of the Romulan Star Empire, the Klingons and even the cold logical intellectual prowess of the vulcans

The Borg weren’t prepared for a starship captain to lure them into his 50′s noir detective holo-novel and then machine gun them to death with a weapon made out of hard light

This thread is amazing. Even as a baby star trek nerd that only really knows the new movies.

“there is a phrase in vulcan for ‘the particular moment you understand what the word ‘fuck’ is for’.”

I just died

I lost my shit at “toasts your bread after you’ve eaten it”
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A video posted by Daily Greatness 🍰🍭🍫🍪🍧 (@dessertbae) on Oct 20, 2016 at 1:09pm PDT

neptunes-peaceful-planet:

🌊Neptunes-peaceful-planet🌊
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apiologies:

me rollerblading into my therapist’s office this week with sunglasses and a piña colada: maurice, you’re not gonna fucking believe this,
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kaptainandy:

Guys, Colin Mochrie’s daughter is transgender. It’s so amazing and heartwarming to see celebrities accept and be vocal about their trans loved ones. It’s a reminder for myself and other trans people that we are not alone. There is love in the world. Just another reason to love Colin Mochrie 💖💙
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audible-smiles:

breastforce:

look if no amount of surgery’s gonna make me “biologically female” then I may as well just go the whole way. make me artificially female. who needs biology when these cybernetically augmented tits have wifi

trans cyborg girls are 10/10 pls support them
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A video posted by Reg. French Bulldog Breeder (@princess.pickles.the.frenchie) on Nov 21, 2016 at 1:37am PST

thenatsdorf:

First encounter with sand.
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pearwaldorf:

srsfunny:

This Has To Be The Greatest Idea Ever

#can we get a donation box on the house floor? #I want CNN to train one camera on it at all times #I want John Lewis dropping quarters really loudly into it while Paul Ryan speaks #just ‘ping’ ’-and the affordable care act costs taxpayers-’ ‘ping’ ’-funding abortions at planned parenthood-’ ‘ping’ ’-balance the budget- #‘ping’ ’-will you stop that?!?’ ‘sure - whenever you’re ready’ #‘i got all day mr. speaker - taxpayers pay me to show up here and do my job’ #‘and tell the truth’ (wrangletangle)
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onlyblackgirl:

robregal:

pitfather:

im obviously super into social justice culture but over the past year its turned everyone into self righteous dickheads who expect everyone to be perfect angels and like, hey listen, literally no one is. yes definitely call out bigotry and awful systems whenever you can but nitpicking people’s histories and personalities is so malicious and unnecessary and yall do it to feel better about yourselves and thats gross. find healthier ways to be positive in your own life rather than dissecting other people for the thrill of thinking you’re a better person

Honestly.
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trashcanamerica:

when i read this i thought by “balls” you meant “testicles” and i just sat here for like two minutes thinking about why vampires having testicles is peculiar to you and why it means that they hang out with the upper class
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fandomsandfeminism:

The train scene in Miyazaki’s Spirited Away is one of the most memorable, beautiful, and baffling moments in the film. So what does it mean? What’s going on? What is its purpose?

(I think I fixed the problem youtube was having with the copyright. So yay!)

Transcript below the cut:

Keep reading
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knitmeapony:

apaullo95:

continue-5-4-3-2-1:

thethroneofbooks:

“ In August, 1968, the country was still reeling from the assassination of Martin Luther King four months earlier, and the race riots that followed on its heels. Nightly news showed burning cities, white flight, radicals and reactionaries snarling at each other across the cultural divide.

“A brand new children’s show out of Pittsburgh, which had gone national the previous year, took a different approach. Mr. Roger’s Neighborhood introduced Officer Clemmons, a black police officer who was a kindly, responsible authority figure, kept his neighborhood safe, and was Mr. Roger’s equal, colleague and neighbor.

“Around the first anniversary of Martin Luther King’s death, Mr. Rogers invited Officer Clemmons to join him in soaking their tired feet in a plastic wading pool. And there they were, brown feet and pasty white feet, side by side in the water. Silently, contemplatively, without comment.

“25 years later, when the actor playing Officer Clemmons retired, his last scene on the show revisited that same wading pool, this time reminiscing. Officer Clemmons asked Mr. Rogers what he’d been thinking during their silent interlude a quarter century before. Fred Rogers’ answer was that he’d been thinking of the many ways people say “I love you.”

- Carl Aveni’s FB page

Mr Rogers was one of the good ones.

^^^^^

Considering the fraught and painful history of excluding black people from swimming pools in that era, there is no way this wasn’t a very pointed commentary to the people who were being exclusionary.  This was a specifically chosen visual.

It’s not a fuck-you.  Mr. Rogers didn’t do fuck-yous.  But it was a clear, decisive, pointed statement.  It was more than just showing inclusion; it was a deliberate response to what was going on in the world.  This was him saying “you can do better.  We can all do better.  What you are doing is wrong.”  This was a sweet, simple, and relatable thing to show little kids, to give them a view of a black man as kind and professional and a trusted adult – but also a lovely and strong statement to their parents and to the world.

It could have lost him his show, or at least his national distribution.  It could have gotten him attacked both in the news and personally in person, but he did it anyway.  I wish I knew if he ever talked about this, and how aware he and the show producers were of the statement this made.

Man, do we need more Fred Rogers in the world.
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we-could-have-danced-all-night:

queerenby:

filisexual:

royalpancake:

a short poem:

do teachers
understand
that you take
other classes

another short poem:

yes but see
they are all
required
by the district
or state
to assign a
certain amount
of gradable
material per
semester so
they can get
paid and earn
raises and bonuses
and keep
their jobs and
funding

a revised short poem:

does the district
or state
understand
that you take
other classes

another short poem:

no

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Rachel

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